Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Mauritanian - I didn't know much about this movie. I think it went fairly under the radar until Jodie Foster earned some acting nominations for it. The real story is fascinating, but I feel like the film is not really telling us anything we don't already know (torture = bad; Guantanamo Bay = especially bad). It's well-acted - particularly by Foster and Tahar Rahim (not so much a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch's southern accent), but I don't really feel like it has anything memorable or emotional - and this story should be emotional. It doesn't even get to the particularly interesting part of the story until an hour and 40 minutes in and I became so bored that I just spent most of the time skimming through Wikipedia for the true story instead. The story is actually ENRAGING, but I think the film is just so...formulaic (I'm actually surprised that it wasn't embraced even more by awards circles - it's definitely the type of movie that the Academy, in particular, loves to award). It just never hits the notes that it should. And once again, the real footage at the end broke my heart way more than the entire movie. 

2. Cinderella (2021) - I would LOVE to stick up for this reimagined version of this classic fairytale, but so many unfortunate choices were made. SO. MANY. I was already disappointed by initial reactions (and the trailer was rough), so I had reservations going into it, but still hopeful that it could be fun. It's not. It's actually quite dull and uninspiring. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what the issue is, but I think it's mostly a combination of the aforementioned unfortunate choices. First, the casting is a huge miss. I don't know much about Camila Cabello, other than that "Havana" song that was on repeat on every radio station for like a year. I think I would be able to forgive her bland performance...if she could sing? I actually feel bad typing this out, but her voice is horrendous. Obviously, James Corden is a huge misfire, but luckily he's not in it enough to cause any real damage. And casting Billy Porter in the Fairy Godmother role is somehow both inspiring and completely obvious that it's...boring. Plus, I don't know the actor that plays the Prince, but he is not hot, can't sing, and is so unmemorable that if you showed me a picture of him I highly doubt I would not recognize him. Second, the pop song mash-up trend is, sadly, over. Glee did it well (mostly), but the Pitch Perfect trilogy really overdid it so much that I just role my eyes at anything that attempts to do it. I should have guessed it would be used here (Kay Cannon wrote the Pitch Perfect movies). Even the cover songs are dull - and after that disastrous promotional traffic stop debacle, I can't listen to "Let's Get Loud" ever again. Third, the one thing that really should have shined is the costume design - she wants to create beautiful dresses (more on this in a sec), but the ones she designs are basically copies of Marchesa Notte (current master of the 3D floral dresses). I would have loved a modern version of classic Cinderella's ice blue gown (the 2015 film version stuck to the traditional version). And last, the whole "girlboss" version of Cinderella is soooo...nonsensical. She's so overly confident, especially for someone who is essentially being abused by her step-family. The whole thing just makes my head hurt thinking about it. The *only* good thing is that if you watch close enough Nandi Bushell makes a quick appearance kicking ass on the drums (I literally screamed out loud "IS THAT NANDI?! I love her). 

3. Kate - Wow. So I looked at my list of films watched to see what movies I was going to write this newest post on, and I honestly just blanked so hard on this movie (questioning "I watched a movie called Kate? What the fuck? Did I, really?"). That's how unmemorable and generic this female-led assassin action film is. And I stress the "female-led" part because they are literally all the same - you can interchange this with Ava, Atomic Blonde, Gunpowder Milkshake, Jolt etc., and just set it in Japan and you have this movie. I'm a big fan of Mary Elizabeth Winstead (seriously, I think she should have been nominated for an Oscar for her performance in 10 Cloverfield Lane, and does anyone remember that show BrainDead? It was actually pretty good! Definitely deserving of more than one season). But, I don't like her at all here. She's just oddly so dry. And I'll never believe that this little tiny woman can over-power a group of men twice her size (and I didn't believe it when Jessica Chastain, Kate Beckinsale or Karen Gillan did it either - but somehow, Charlize is totally believable). There's also a whole lot about this plot that just doesn't make sense - like, why poison? Wouldn't they kill her in the quickest way possible (also didn't they steal this plot from Crank? Which, oddly I JUST RECENTLY WATCHED FOR THE FIRST TIME and it is awesome). And why did she choose to steal the most noticeable car I've ever seen? It's literally glowing with neon lights (LOL). I will say that the scene with her walking in, all covered in dirt and blood, with the bright white sunglasses, cigarette lightly hanging from her lips, is fucking killer, though. It's a shame that they widely used it for promotion, so the scene itself has very little impact. 

4. Malignant - This was not something I had on my list of new releases to watch right away. I thought it would be something I watched years from now (as I do with many horror movies). But then the reactions started to come in, and most called it completely bonkers (in a seemingly good way, and also everyone was very careful about not including anything spoilery in their assessment which is always appreciated, but it also got me very curious). Luckily, it's one those movies released on HBO Max concurrently with its theater release, so I moved it right to the top. I LOVE the HBO Max deal that was made this year (much better than Disney+ in which you still have to pay the same amount of money as seeing it in a theater, which is frankly bullshit). I know it's not going to continue after all the debacles with actor/director contracts and disputes, but it's nice while it lasts. Anyway, it's exactly as described - just absolutely bonkers. I don't think it's as good as everyone is claiming, but I appreciate that it really goes for it - and to get slightly spoilery - the whole film shifts to something quite indescribable during the prison cell scene (complete with a Foxy Cleopatra and Aileen Wuornos cosplay characters). For most of the movie, I was pretty indifferent - the story is interesting, the murders are gory (but not really scary), I like Annabelle Wallis (ugh, she was my favorite character in Peaky Blinders. I just loved her so much). There's also some surprisingly great dialogue - "How many times do I have to watch my children die inside of you?" is perhaps the meanest thing I've ever heard an abuser say and he definitely deserved a gruesome death for it. Also "So I'm putting out a BOLO for Sloth from The Goonies?" made me laugh. However, I was mostly really confused by all the praise. I think the "twist" is obvious (and now I'm getting really spoilery, so please stop reading) - I wrote down "her conjoined twin is the malignant cancer, obviously". But I couldn't quite put together how they were going to wrap it all together to make the story cohesive (and somehow mind-blowing at the same time). I just thought they would explain that she has some sort of psychic visions because of the "twin" thing that somehow was triggered by her head injury. But, the film goes for crazy. Truly crazy. And it basically turns into a monster movie, which is definitely an unexpected surprise. I can definitely see this turning into a whole franchise. 

5. Four Good Days - This story has been done before, of a parent dealing with their addict child - the dichotomy of trying to help but also letting go of someone who isn't committed to helping themselves, most recently with Ben is Back and Beautiful Boy. Both of those movies are quite mediocre, and this one joins them (only it's about privileged white girl drug addict instead). It's honestly surprising how many bad movies Glenn Close chooses to participate in. I'm pretty sure this was seen as Oscar-bait on paper (as I'm sure Hillbilly Elegy was as well), and I think Mila Kunis probably thought this might be her moment to be taken more seriously. I adore Mila and I think she is stunningly beautiful, but she's not a good dramatic actress. Addiction, itself, is really scary, but there is something really harrowing about heroin addiction because it just destroys your body (I mean, alcohol and cocaine does to, but heroin is much more outwardly noticeable). But I find it hard to believe that this woman is so destroyed that she has sores all over, and has lost her teeth, but she still maintains those perfectly drawn in eyebrows?? (also, on a ridiculous side-note, as personal preference I think drawn in eyebrows look terrible. I love makeup, but this trend is just so distracting sometimes). Anyway, overall it's not something that I'm going to remember. I was really hoping for an incredible devastating ending - I was definitely prepped for it, but then...it wimps out. Just complete mediocrity in every sense of the word.