1. Jolt - It's not the worst movie of 2021, but it's certainly not good. There are certain parts that I can stick up for - the concept is actually pretty interesting and it's satisfying watching Kate Beckinsale beat the shit out of mean & rude assholes. And speaking of Beckinsale, I've been a fan since
Pearl Harbor, and she does her very best to have some fun with the clunky dialogue. Plus, she's hot (it seems it's become sort of a faux pas to mention how hot actors/actresses are in movie/tv reviews, which I think if you're writing professionally, then, sure, I guess that's something that should be fazed out. But I don't write professionally (clearly), so you will never get me to stop talking about how hot Taron Egerton is, even if he isn't in the movie I'm writing about). There are also some funny/memorable moments - *slight spoiler ahead, but just so you understand what you're in for* she throws newborn babies at a cop to get away. I mean, like hurls them across the room. It would be totally offensive if it weren't so ridiculous and just fucking funny). Unfortunately, everything else about the movie is just really awful. I think it's supposed to take place in NYC (??) or maybe just an undetermined city (??), but definitely America - and it's very clearly not filmed in America and they do an absolutely abysmal job in hiding that fact (even the license plates aren't American). I also hate the narration in the beginning (show don't tell, and obviously that is a very famous person's voice who will likely appear in the movie at some point). Also, *spoiler* it's clear, and unfortunate, that Jai Courtney would have a bigger role - he's too big of a name to only be in it for a few minutes. And on a side-note, doesn't Beckinsale look like Ashley Benson in the poster or is that just me?
Well, this is definitely the worst of the three films. I have to say, though, overall I respect what the trilogy accomplishes. And it's something of a different strategy for streaming services to attempt - weekly feature films released more as an anthology (I think that if this is what
Small Axe did, then I would have less of a problem with them being considered "films"). The movies, though, just fell flat to me. There is nothing new to add to the horror genre - instead they relied on old cliches and nostalgia to tell a rather dull ghost/witch story. They were smart in releasing the 94 one first, and working backwards because if they released this one first, I don't think I would have continued. I knew that the theme of the third film would be the one that I liked the least - it's basically a colonial witch hunt story (which reminds me of
The VVitch, and no thank you) and, as many have noted, the Irish accents are hilariously bad (and unnecessary?). I do think that it's weird that they spent the last part of this one going back to the 94 one because it felt so jarring. I don't think it necessarily had to end so tightly - they could have left a lot of things open for interpretation. But I guess it would be even weirder to release a Part Two of
Fear Street Part 1.
3. The Forty-Year-Old Version - What a fitting movie to watch the week after I turned 40. I absolutely adored this movie. It feels refreshing, inspiring & genuine. Plus, it's really fucking funny. Just 12 minutes in and I laughed out loud four times ("
this isn't Dangerous Minds" LOL). But, the laughs don't stop there - I think my favorite part is the multiple references to an "all female production of
12 Angry Men", but it's honestly too difficult to pick a favorite part. It's all just funny. There are also parts that really hit at your emotions too - her first rap performance is just devastating and I think really represents how hard it is to do something new. And I love the focus on the art, poetry, and talent that goes into rapping. I feel like that's been lost nowadays, but I'm also 40 so I'm very aware that there is a generational gap between what I'm used to and what rap has become. There is also a lot to say about depictions of blackness in the theater community (and is the same in films/tv) and how white people are continually utilizing performative gestures to combat racism instead of actually listening to what POC are telling us. It honestly must be infuriating, and I'm glad that Radha Blank doesn't sugarcoat it. The end dialogue with all the different meanings of FYOV ("Find Your Own Voice", "Fuck You Old Vultures", "Fund Your Own Vision, and finally "Forty-Year-Old Version") is so empowering and beautiful. My only two critiques are: that I hate that it's in black & white (I just feel like there is so much vibrancy to the story - I would have preferred if that translated to the visuals) and that it's too long (just like every single other movie made nowadays). But honestly, fuck my opinion, because Blank tells her story how she wants to and it is wonderful.
I already knew that this was going to be a trashy thriller just by the poster and title alone, but I do love me some Michelle Monaghan. I've been a huge fan of hers since
Boston Public, and I'm so disappointed that she hasn't become a massive star. Instead, she's always relegated to the "wife" roles (although I think she does these roles well, and sometimes this role becomes the bigger role, like in
The Path which deserved a lot more attention than it received). I would love to see her do something different, though, like take a big risk. Anyway, I also had some hope that this might be more than a "trashy thriller" simply because Casey Affleck is in it? You know, ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Casey Affleck. Does that not mean anything, anymore? Why is he acting in and producing Lifetime quality thrillers? Make it make sense. So, the movie is bad, obviously. The cast is great, but the plot is just really slow-moving and seemingly predictable. My mind started to wander about half-way through, in which I started wishing I had a lap pool (like the one featured in the movie). I would love to be able to go for a swim every day. And about how I could swear that Sam Caflin was older than me (he's only 35!). But then suddenly, the twist happens and it's kind of unexpected (*spoiler* I knew that his patient probably didn't commit suicide - because, um...who commits suicide by jumping off of a two-story house? Nobody, that's who.). I wasn't expecting the "other" twist, though, and it kind of makes the whole movie work. It's still a trashy thriller, but definitely a well-written one.
Just a whole lot of fun. This is what I want out of comic book movies, honestly. When I think back to when I first started to enjoy this genre, my mind automatically goes to
Spider-Man, but in reality, my love of this genre goes back deep with
Howard the Duck. I can't even tell you how many times I watched
Howard the Duck as a kid - it was just on, endlessly. And I used to sing the song ALL the time. So much so, that one of my biggest memories of my mom is her banning
Howard the Duck. She was just so fed up with it that I was suddenly not allowed to watch it anymore (and I don't think I've seen it since then?). It's odd that as a kid, I became so obsessed with certain movies that I would watch them on repeat (at that time, I also did this with
Uncle Buck,
Adventures in Babysitting and
Flight of the Navigator, then later I did it again with
Speed), but
now I rarely re-watch movies. And back to my point, the only ones in this genre that I find rewatchable are the more fun ones - specifically
Guardians of the Galaxy. I've tried watching others if they are on tv (there is always Marvel marathons on any given channel at any given time) and I always get bored and turn it off. That's not to say that I don't enjoy the more "serious" ones, like
The Dark Knight trilogy etc. (also, I guess I should be more specific that I'm talking about superhero comics because I obviously re-watch the
Kingsman movies endlessly). Anyway, back to this movie, it just revels in its ridiculousness and I enjoyed every second. It's obnoxious and crass at times and completely unapologetic in killing innocent people, but I'm not sure why people expected otherwise? They are all criminals - we aren't supposed to, like, idolize any of them (again, why people do this with Harley Quinn is fucking baffling to me). It's basically a combination
Guardians (a bunch of unlikely heroes forming a bond and saving the world) mixed with
The Boys (the unlikely heroes are all villains, plus the violence and unapologetic nature of it puts it in this category). Honestly, I expected the violence to be worse (I mean nothing in it comes close to the dolphin scene in
The Boys). I also think that they did a much better job at creating the comradery in this (sequel? reboot? It's not important), instead of focusing on just two main characters - every single one of them (and there's a lot) are given memorable moments. I actually look forward to re-watching it (someday...).
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