Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Old Guard - Was this originally supposed to be a Netflix movie, or did they release it that way because of the pandemic? I'm so lost on the release of movies these days. I didn't really hear anything about this until literally the day of release, which is just weird for such a big action film. My initial reaction - after the *thing* that happened within the first 15 minutes happened was that I was going to absolutely love it, but unfortunately nothing else really great happened for the rest of the movie. I guess maybe if I knew what the movie was about before watching it, I would have been less surprised, or if I knew that it's technically a superhero movie - I think my expectations would have been so very different. Charlize is just so perfect for these types of roles (she's great in anything, really). And she's just one of those impossibly beautiful women. I think this will be a franchise, since it seems to be doing well. I wish Atomic Blonde was better because that could have been a great franchise (and it had the added bonus of James McAvoy!). I think my problem with this movie is that I just got bored, and like most movies nowadays - it's just way too long. It barely goes over my 2 hour limit, but it feels really long and it didn't feel warranted - there's just so much filler. I could easily cut 30 minutes from this movie and it would have been so much more intense and purposeful (and YES, I am very aware of the irony of someone like me constantly complaining about the importance of editing, considering how I write). 

2. Last Christmas - *spoilery* From the God awful trailer, I didn't even make the connection that this movie was "inspired" by George Michael songs - which, I admit, is a super cute idea. Also, I assumed that because it's a sappy romance that one of them was going to die and therefore it's titled "Last Christmas" as in it's one's last Christmas alive, not that something significant happened "Last Christmas" as in a year prior to the story. I'm kind of giving away the surprise twist, but you'll figure it out at least half-way through (here's the spoilery part: if you're paying attention - I mean he CLEARLY doesn't exist...and once you connect the George Michael song with it that starts with "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart"...the writer took that shit pretty literally and ran with it. They do add a scene that is intentionally meant to throw the audience off, but I wasn't fooled.). Anyway, this isn't as terrible as I was expecting, but it's certainly not good. I don't really like Emilia Clarke (I liked Khaleesi, I did not like her acting though), and this character is just so cliched - and actually kind of a terrible person (she's just so self-involved and irresponsible and disrespectful to everyone around her - her mother, her boss, her friends), I just don't relate to her at all. Henry Golding is pretty hot, though (I think I've written this sentence at least a dozen times). And Emma Thompson is wonderful, as per usual. 

3. Spies in Disguise - Well now, I was not expecting this to be as cute as it is. It's kind of like an animated Bond movie - but geared towards kids (so it's got a bit of cuteness and humor to it). Will Smith and Tom Holland have great voice chemistry and I laughed out loud a few times. Overall, I had a lot of fun with it. It felt different for an animated movie - like it was action-packed, but still full of heart. And once he turned into the pigeon, I giggled quite a bit (especially with the female pigeon rubbing against him all flirty LOL). It also has a very in-your-face anti-violence stance which is...a strong choice for a movie about not only stopping a terrorist, but also about a kid who lost his mother by possibly (?) gun violence (she's a cop) - obviously the kids are not going to understand the political undertones. Maybe I enjoyed this because I didn't really know what it was about, so I wasn't expecting much. But also because I enjoy action movies - and really anything spy themed, so this just ticked all my boxes. 

4. Apollo 11 - UGHHHHH...Documentaries are always so boring. And I keep getting tricked into watching them, but people saying "NOOO you have to watch this...it's SO good". No, it's a fucking boring documentary. I'm half-kidding, because obviously it's good. But for someone who doesn't like docs, it's just never going to be something that interests me. And honestly, I've seen this story so many times, so it's not like I learned anything new just because they had all this "never before seen footage". I couldn't even tell you what I supposedly have "never seen before". I mean, they go to the Moon, and then they come home. What else could they possibly tell us??? 

5. 7500 - Very typical movie for this subject matter. I'm not sure how many of these "hijackers on a plane" stories we really need? I do appreciate that they tried to do something different by just giving us one person's perspective (the co-pilot, played with satisfactory efforts by Joseph Gordon-Levitt). I like what they were trying to do - in theory this makes the story more claustrophobic and anxiety-inducing. But it just didn't work for me. I got bored very quickly, and frustrated that I didn't know what was happening with the rest of the plane. It doesn't make any sense that a plane full of people couldn't overtake two men using shards of glass as weapons. It's also so dumb that his baby mama is also on the plane (and *spoiler* OF COURSE she is going to be used as a hostage, but the question is why wouldn't they have picked the flight crew from the beginning - why did they choose the random guy first?). Also, I thought most pilots have guns now? Or am I mistaken? Not that I'm suggesting that as a solution, I just assumed that happened. Anyway, it's a very forgettable movie, again - as most movies are nowadays...