Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Literally the only thought I wrote down after watching this was: satisfying. It's not great; it's not terrible. It's all very expected. I didn't hate on The Last Jedi as so many did (nor did I think it was spectacular - it had its faults, for sure). But, at least I had something to say with that one, while this is just sort of...there...existing as closure to this chapter in the Star Wars saga. I'm not sure if Star Wars fans are happy or upset with how it ended, or with Rey's storyline (I didn't care enough to give it much thought). I think that the main cast did a fantastic job, as a whole within the trilogy - and Adam Driver is the continuous highlight. My favorite part though is Keri Russell! It took me a few minutes to recognize the voice, until it drove me so crazy that I had to pause the movie to look it up. J.J. ended strong with his alumni casting. I do think it's super creepy to continue Leia's story with CGI Carrie Fisher - that just sets a horrible precedent in filmmaking that I want no part of. And to have her real-life daughter act in a scene with her? I can't believe she went along with it.

2. Bad Boys for Life - The original Bad Boys came out when I was 13 (soon to be 14) and it was the first time that my mom forbid me to see a movie. She had seen it in the theater with her then husband, and thought it was inappropriate (which was weird because I had definitely seen much more inappropriate things by this point and she never cared). So, OF COURSE, I had to see it. And I loved every single second of it - to the point that when it came out on VHS, my friend and I would watch it every day after school and we memorized each and every line (I also did this with Speed). I still quote it on a regular basis (my favorite is singing "I wanna be, I wanna be like Mike...POW" anytime I meet someone named Mike - which is an extremely popular name so...it happens quite often). I can't say that I remember anything about the second one, but I was very excited for this one. Even though it wasn't directed by Bay, the trailer seemed like it got the Bad Boys feeling *just* right. And it's been so long since we've seen these characters, I felt like the anticipation was there. Unfortunately, it falls a little short, for me. I was entertained for the majority, but I felt like the jokes were really repetitive, and nothing actually stands out as laugh out loud. In fact, I hardly remember laughing at all. Plus *MAJOR SPOILER* THE BEST CHARACTER FUCKING DIES. That's a really fucking shitty thing to do to a character that is so loved. Also, the supporting cast is terrible. Who thought casting Vanessa Hudgens was a good idea? And I think the plot was trying to set up for a possible spin-off, but absolutely nobody wants to see it.

3. Underwater - I'm able to watch so many movies now that I'm only working like 1/2 my normal hours. I feel like I've watched more "new releases" in the past few months than I have in the last 5 years. I might even be able to catch up! That might be the only good thing to come out of this pandemic (unless I die first...). Anyway, the problem, though, is that I have a bad memory so I'm having trouble recalling my thoughts for certain films because they are all blending together - this one, in particular. That's never a good sign (and if it was good, I would definitely remember it). I'll have to rely on my quick notes that I took - which are all over the place (that's kind of my brand, though, so you should be used to it). First, I appreciate that Kristen tries to do different roles, but she should stick to what she's good at (i.e. not blockbuster type movies). I think she thought this character was going to be like a modern day Ripley and LOL good luck, girl. Second, apparently I wrote something about spiders. Does someone kill a spider in the movie? I really don't remember, but I probably got upset if that happened. Fun fact about me: I love spiders. Not like crazy big spiders you find in Australia (those are fucking terrifying), but normal house-spiders are so cute! And they kill other bugs so I usually just let them hang out in my house if I see one. I had one living under my bathroom mirror for a while - he/she would drop down and say hi to me when I did my makeup in the morning. ANYWAY. Third, how the fuck is T.J. Miller still getting employed? Aside from the fact that there have been MANY rumors about him being horrific to work with, has made a lot of sexist comments, has been accused of sexual assault - he also phoned in a fake bomb threat on a NJ train last year. I mean, fuck that guy. Last, Vincent Cassel is always a bad guy, but apparently not in this! How crazy is that! Sorry, that doesn't really tell you anything about the movie. But it's bad, so maybe that's all you need to know.

4. Extraction - I really thought I was going to like this movie. Seems like totally my thing, aside from starring Chris Hemsworth. He's not always bad, but usually pretty boring (exceptions are Ghostbusters (2016), Thor: Ragnarok, Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame). Netflix promoted the fuck out of this movie, which is odd because they are really bad at promoting their movies (they are much better with the tv shows). I saw ads and clips for this EVERYWHERE I looked. I was really excited for its release, but man, is it so boring. It's so weird because the action is spectacular - it's obviously winning a lot of praise for its impressive action-packed tracking shot, and I am such a sucker for tracking shots. But, like, you have to make the rest of the movie good, too. You can't just rely on one (very impressive) thing. The other big issue that I had with it, is that it looks really ugly. It's so yellow (which is, for some, reason typical in films that take place in India, but I expect more from the DP of Drive). The plot is very simple and straight-forward. The audience isn't really supposed to like any of the characters, so it's just really, really boring. I thought it was super weird that people questioned the ending so much so that several entertainment news outlets had to write up articles on "what the ending means". People are so fucking stupid. It hurts.

5. The Two Popes - I say this with love, but FUCK Jonathan Pryce and his Oscar nomination for this movie. There is no fucking way this performance should have been nominated over Taron Egerton. It's just unreal. Pryce was never even a front-runner for a nomination, but he's a solid actor so I hesitated to judge before I saw this, but now I can say with confidence he did not deserve the nomination. I was pretty confident with my picks of DiCaprio, Egerton, Murphy, Phoenix, and Sandler, but then I saw Queen & Slim and Ford V Ferrari, and now I think both Kaluuya and Bale were screwed too. It was just a ridiculously excellent year for male performances, but nominating Pryce is a punch in the gut. This movie has wonderful dialogue, but overall it's really long and boring. I don't follow the happenings of the Pope (shocking), so that obviously hurts my overall interest. I was interested in the friction and history between these two men, though, at least enough to look up the true story (which is actually interesting...who knew!). I did laugh really hard when he made the "German joke" ("it doesn't have to be funny"). And also I thought them watching the soccer game at the end was the best part. I wish there were more scenes like that.