Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Lodge - I didn't know much about this movie, but I really like Riley Keough. I didn't expect it to be scary, so the fact that it's not, isn't a disappointment. I didn't expect it be so...psychologically interesting, though. So that was a nice surprise. This is a movie that I've thought about multiple times since viewing it, and I absolutely love it when that happens. *spoilers ahead* The plot is pretty simple - man leaves wife for younger woman (UGH...men. Also, great casting Alicia Silverstone because Riley does look a bit like her so it hits that "younger version" point really hard). The wife kills herself, leaving their two children distraught and confused. A few months later (I think 6?), the children are left alone with the "new" girlfriend in a secluded cabin and some creepy shit starts to happen. This alone would make for a great horror movie plot, but the story goes even deeper - like the fact that the girlfriend is also the lone survivor of a mass cult suicide. The audience is left to question her sanity, while also questioning the children's motives. And, I actually began to sympathize with her (I think you're supposed to sympathize with the children from the beginning, but they did such a great job of making everything so "grey"). I think the whole creepy dollhouse was an unnecessary addition, but other than that it felt very efficient. Plus the last 15 minutes are spectacular. Moral of the story: Don't fuck with a crazy person.

2. In the Shadow of the Moon - I forgot all about this movie! I wanted to see it because it stars Michael C. Hall and it's about serial killers, but I don't even remember it being released and now it suddenly appeared on Netflix as a Netflix Original. So weird! Anyway, it's not exactly what I was expecting. First, Hall isn't actually in it that much. The star is actually Boyd Holbrook (I only know him from Narcos, but he is excellent). Second, it's got a sci-fi twist! And actually it's a great twist, but I was expecting something more gritty and realistic - I think it was originally advertised as an late 70s/early 80s cop thriller (which is what it starts off as, but it sure ends on a completely different spectrum). Third, the killer is a woman! Pretty rare for serial killers to be women. Fourth, it's unfortunately really, really boring. It's really repetitive, as it tracks the story from decade to decade. It did hit a nerve for me, at the distressing idea of having your wife/partner die while giving birth. That's automatically a tragedy, but I never really thought about the fact that you will forever have to celebrate your child's birthday on the anniversary of the death of someone you loved, and it would probably be pretty depressing to have the tradition of going to a cemetery on your birthday. But that's about the only thing that struck me about this movie. Otherwise, it's pretty forgettable.

3. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil - I actually enjoyed the first one, which was unexpected. It was so much better than it had any right to be. I also thought Angelina did such a fantastic job with this role. I also forgot that it's Elle Fanning in the role of Aurora. She's been doing such strong work over the past 6 years, it's hard to see her in such a mediocre role like this (I'm so excited to watch The Great - just trying to catch up on some other stuff before I start something new). And I'm pretty sure Michelle Pfeiffer wasn't in the first one, but boy was I glad to see her! She's a queen (literally, in this, but also in life). However, this sequel is such a mess. I don't even have the energy to dissect it all. It's just overall, one of the worst movies I've watched in a while (and I've watched some bad shit over the last few weeks). It feels never-ending, as well. It kind of has the same basic message as in the first one - which is that Maleficent isn't actually the evil one of the story. I'm not sure a sequel was ever necessary to begin with. BUT, there is one thing that is fantastic in this - and that is Pfeiffer's wardrobe of being absolutely drenched in pearls. I would DIE for that pearl capelet. DIE.

4. The Wedding Guest - Great plot, boring movie. And it's not really a plot that I've seen much of before, so I feel like there is a good movie here, but somehow they fucked it up. It's crazy to me that arranged marriages are still a thing in certain cultures. But, I also think marriage, in general, is pretty crazy. So, I'm probably not the best judge (and I've read a lot about how people in arranged marriages are actually happier, which is pretty interesting). Even though the plot is filled with a lot of twists and double-crosses, it's still all very predictable and none of it is done to the proper dramatic effect - meaning that none of it is told with a sense of urgency or danger (it's categorized as a thriller, not a drama). Also, the title isn't the greatest choice - it implies that it's about a wedding, which is not true at all. Dev Patel is a really great actor, though. I wasn't the biggest fan of Slumdog Millionaire (and the attention he received from it), but he's been consistently great in every project since (and he was great on Skins too, duh). He definitely carries the movie, but not enough to actually make it interesting.

5. Ready or Not - YESSSSS! I fucking love this movie so much. There are very few movies that I unequivocally love from last year (Rocketman and Queen & Slim - that's it!). It's also pretty rare for me to love horror movies (I think the last one I truly loved was The Babadook). So I was so happy when the movie ended and I was smiling from ear to ear. It's just so much fun. It's also not 100% a horror movie - more dark comedy/thriller. And Samara Weaving is spectacular (and I may have developed a thing for blondes? WTF is happening to me? Samara, Lily James, Margot Robbie, Blake Lively...they're all so hot). The plot is absolutely bonkers, and not believable in any way, shape, or form. But they all just go for it, and it just makes for a really fun ride. At first, I just kept shaking my head at the absurdity of the plot (I mean, REALLY?), but it quickly won me over (probably at the scene where she puts the sneakers on - like she's ready to fuck shit up). I really thought I was going to be disappointed by the end, but nope - it really just goes to another level of straight-up awesome (and stays with the "this is ridiculous" tone). Plus, Adam-fucking-Brody! He needs to be in more movies. I adore him.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Prodigy - Ugh...this movie is rough. Just about everything about it could have been done in a better way. The plot is an average - "kids are creepy" horror story, with the added twist that he's a child prodigy (but not really). I usually find kids creepy (like, all kids), but this kid is pretty bland. Taylor Schilling was great on Orange is the New Black (she often got outshined by her costars, but she was consistently strong through that whole series), but she is God-awful here. I read a few quick reviews that seem to be impressed by the acting but not the story, and I find that really odd. The acting overall is just awful. Even the guy from Rookie Blue is hard to watch (but not hard to look at...). There's some really interesting ideas about reincarnation and the "soul" being found in the eyes (which is explored brilliantly in the movie I Origins, probably one of my favorite movies of the last decade), but it never goes far enough to be interesting. The ending is pretty great and really effective, it's just a shame that the rest of the film isn't.

2. Harriet - I was really looking forward to this because I love Cynthia Erivo. She's such a talented entertainer - and I really think she's going to be an EGOT winner, like, really, really soon. She is incredible on The Outsider, in which she helped create a really unique and memorable character. She also has an amazing voice. I was rooting for her to win the Oscar this year - even though I hadn't seen the movie, and I already knew Zellweger was a shoe-in. But she's still so young, so she's got time. I also really liked Joe Alwyn in...um...that one movie that I can't remember the name of, but I also recently watched Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk, which is terrible, but he is really excellent in it. I'm really excited to see more from him. Unfortunately, I did not like this movie. It wasn't bad, but just a very typical biopic (i.e boooooring). Nothing interesting happens for the first hour, and the dialogue is really cheesy. I also thought that the premonition scenes were really poorly executed (but I honestly didn't know this aspect of her history, which is...interesting). And my final thought - it's an odd choice to not have anyone age. How are we supposed to have any idea how much time has gone by? Obviously this struggle was over the course of years, it didn't happen overnight. I think Harriet Tubman deserves a much stronger biopic (still starring Cynthia - she did a fine job).

3. True History of the Kelly Gang - I don't get it - the title declares it to be "true", but then within the first few seconds we are told that it's not true...so that's weird...right? I like things that re-imagine historical figures or events, but the title is misleading. Also, it focuses very little on the rest of the Kelly gang - mostly just focusing on the most famous one, Ned. I can't say I know much about Ned Kelly, but I did watch that movie with Heath Ledger and Orlando Bloom. I don't think I liked it (I don't really remember much about it, but I rated it 2 stars). I really, really, really like George MacKay - he was so wonderful in Captain Fantastic. His performance in that instantly made me a big fan (I'm going to watch 1917 this week and I am excited!). Plus, Essie Davis! Fuck YES! She is awesome. Also, has Charlie Hunnam had a day off? I feel like he's in every movie I watch and I swear I'm not doing it on purpose, even though he is fucking hot and I will always welcome his presence. I was disappointed by the sight of that girl Thomasin McKenzie - this is the third film I've seen her in recently and she's been consistently awful. The movie is interesting, I guess. It's kind of a mess, editing wise. I had a hard time following certain character motivations. It jumps in time, and I feel like it's missing key plot elements that maybe we are just supposed to *know*, but I don't. There are some really stunning and memorable moments, especially that gunfire scene. I actually had to look away from the screen because it was too overwhelming.

4. Godzilla: King of the Monsters - Truly the most boring Godzilla movie I've ever seen. I thought the previous one was pretty bad, but that's a masterpiece compared to this one. I was actually under the impression that this was another reboot, so I didn't realize that it was a sequel to the Bryan Cranston one. I blocked that one out, so I had to look up what happened. I'm really confused as to why Vera Farmiga would do this movie? But casting Millie Bobby Brown as her daughter is a great choice. I just wish it was for a different movie! I liked that they had her as the villain because it's rare for women to be dumb world-ending villains in big blockbuster movies like this. I'm not really sure I understand her motivation for risking humanity (for world peace among the species, I guess?), but it hardly matters in movies like this. What matters is that the special effects are glorious, and that's where this movie fails the most. It looks TERRIBLE. Mothra is cool though.

5. Terminator: Dark Fate - I thought this was a satisfying addition to the Terminator franchise. I had some small issues with it, but I was entertained for most of it. I'm not the biggest fan of the franchise as a whole, but I absolutely LOVE Terminator 2: Judgement Day. I like the first one too, but the sequel RULES. The rest have been pretty mediocre. I was excited for this one for two reasons: Linda Hamilton (obvi!) and Mackenzie Davis. I totally believed that she could be a badass, and I was right. She really gives it her all and plays off of Hamilton (i.e one of the most iconic female badasses of all-time) perfectly. I think the story is really strong and straight-forward, which was nice because I think the last two kept trying to over-complicate things with the timeline. It's disappointing that *HE* doesn't appear until about an hour in, but oh man, it's perfect when he does (I died at the line "and I'm extremely funny"). I'm also disappointed that it seems like they might be trying to make the other girl the lead for the next one. She was awful. So awful that I don't even want to look up her name, but I would definitely not be interested in watching more of her. I would watch a full spin-off of Mackenzie Davis' character, though.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Literally the only thought I wrote down after watching this was: satisfying. It's not great; it's not terrible. It's all very expected. I didn't hate on The Last Jedi as so many did (nor did I think it was spectacular - it had its faults, for sure). But, at least I had something to say with that one, while this is just sort of...there...existing as closure to this chapter in the Star Wars saga. I'm not sure if Star Wars fans are happy or upset with how it ended, or with Rey's storyline (I didn't care enough to give it much thought). I think that the main cast did a fantastic job, as a whole within the trilogy - and Adam Driver is the continuous highlight. My favorite part though is Keri Russell! It took me a few minutes to recognize the voice, until it drove me so crazy that I had to pause the movie to look it up. J.J. ended strong with his alumni casting. I do think it's super creepy to continue Leia's story with CGI Carrie Fisher - that just sets a horrible precedent in filmmaking that I want no part of. And to have her real-life daughter act in a scene with her? I can't believe she went along with it.

2. Bad Boys for Life - The original Bad Boys came out when I was 13 (soon to be 14) and it was the first time that my mom forbid me to see a movie. She had seen it in the theater with her then husband, and thought it was inappropriate (which was weird because I had definitely seen much more inappropriate things by this point and she never cared). So, OF COURSE, I had to see it. And I loved every single second of it - to the point that when it came out on VHS, my friend and I would watch it every day after school and we memorized each and every line (I also did this with Speed). I still quote it on a regular basis (my favorite is singing "I wanna be, I wanna be like Mike...POW" anytime I meet someone named Mike - which is an extremely popular name so...it happens quite often). I can't say that I remember anything about the second one, but I was very excited for this one. Even though it wasn't directed by Bay, the trailer seemed like it got the Bad Boys feeling *just* right. And it's been so long since we've seen these characters, I felt like the anticipation was there. Unfortunately, it falls a little short, for me. I was entertained for the majority, but I felt like the jokes were really repetitive, and nothing actually stands out as laugh out loud. In fact, I hardly remember laughing at all. Plus *MAJOR SPOILER* THE BEST CHARACTER FUCKING DIES. That's a really fucking shitty thing to do to a character that is so loved. Also, the supporting cast is terrible. Who thought casting Vanessa Hudgens was a good idea? And I think the plot was trying to set up for a possible spin-off, but absolutely nobody wants to see it.

3. Underwater - I'm able to watch so many movies now that I'm only working like 1/2 my normal hours. I feel like I've watched more "new releases" in the past few months than I have in the last 5 years. I might even be able to catch up! That might be the only good thing to come out of this pandemic (unless I die first...). Anyway, the problem, though, is that I have a bad memory so I'm having trouble recalling my thoughts for certain films because they are all blending together - this one, in particular. That's never a good sign (and if it was good, I would definitely remember it). I'll have to rely on my quick notes that I took - which are all over the place (that's kind of my brand, though, so you should be used to it). First, I appreciate that Kristen tries to do different roles, but she should stick to what she's good at (i.e. not blockbuster type movies). I think she thought this character was going to be like a modern day Ripley and LOL good luck, girl. Second, apparently I wrote something about spiders. Does someone kill a spider in the movie? I really don't remember, but I probably got upset if that happened. Fun fact about me: I love spiders. Not like crazy big spiders you find in Australia (those are fucking terrifying), but normal house-spiders are so cute! And they kill other bugs so I usually just let them hang out in my house if I see one. I had one living under my bathroom mirror for a while - he/she would drop down and say hi to me when I did my makeup in the morning. ANYWAY. Third, how the fuck is T.J. Miller still getting employed? Aside from the fact that there have been MANY rumors about him being horrific to work with, has made a lot of sexist comments, has been accused of sexual assault - he also phoned in a fake bomb threat on a NJ train last year. I mean, fuck that guy. Last, Vincent Cassel is always a bad guy, but apparently not in this! How crazy is that! Sorry, that doesn't really tell you anything about the movie. But it's bad, so maybe that's all you need to know.

4. Extraction - I really thought I was going to like this movie. Seems like totally my thing, aside from starring Chris Hemsworth. He's not always bad, but usually pretty boring (exceptions are Ghostbusters (2016), Thor: Ragnarok, Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame). Netflix promoted the fuck out of this movie, which is odd because they are really bad at promoting their movies (they are much better with the tv shows). I saw ads and clips for this EVERYWHERE I looked. I was really excited for its release, but man, is it so boring. It's so weird because the action is spectacular - it's obviously winning a lot of praise for its impressive action-packed tracking shot, and I am such a sucker for tracking shots. But, like, you have to make the rest of the movie good, too. You can't just rely on one (very impressive) thing. The other big issue that I had with it, is that it looks really ugly. It's so yellow (which is, for some, reason typical in films that take place in India, but I expect more from the DP of Drive). The plot is very simple and straight-forward. The audience isn't really supposed to like any of the characters, so it's just really, really boring. I thought it was super weird that people questioned the ending so much so that several entertainment news outlets had to write up articles on "what the ending means". People are so fucking stupid. It hurts.

5. The Two Popes - I say this with love, but FUCK Jonathan Pryce and his Oscar nomination for this movie. There is no fucking way this performance should have been nominated over Taron Egerton. It's just unreal. Pryce was never even a front-runner for a nomination, but he's a solid actor so I hesitated to judge before I saw this, but now I can say with confidence he did not deserve the nomination. I was pretty confident with my picks of DiCaprio, Egerton, Murphy, Phoenix, and Sandler, but then I saw Queen & Slim and Ford V Ferrari, and now I think both Kaluuya and Bale were screwed too. It was just a ridiculously excellent year for male performances, but nominating Pryce is a punch in the gut. This movie has wonderful dialogue, but overall it's really long and boring. I don't follow the happenings of the Pope (shocking), so that obviously hurts my overall interest. I was interested in the friction and history between these two men, though, at least enough to look up the true story (which is actually interesting...who knew!). I did laugh really hard when he made the "German joke" ("it doesn't have to be funny"). And also I thought them watching the soccer game at the end was the best part. I wish there were more scenes like that.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Gentlemen - I've been bitching for a while now for Guy Richie to go back to making original movies - it's been so long! Since RocknRolla (a case can be made for The Man from U.N.C.L.E, I guess). I was very excited for this, but then I saw some of the posters and it looked like a bad copy of Kingsman (especially with similar titles, too). But even weirder, it ended up being a decent copy of Matthew Vaughn's directorial debut, Layer Cake. I don't know if there is a war between these two (seems like they keep trying to one up each other), but I am Team Vaughn 100% (he gave the world the gift that is Taron Egerton, and has consistently kept him employed, as he is a producer on Rocketman and Eddie the Eagle). Anyway, as far as this movie goes, it's not as great as I wanted it to be, but it's hard not to love a movie with this cast. Colin Farrell is the obvious highlight - his initial scene in the cafe had me dying. Just so perfect. Charlie Hunnam is sexy, and he finally gets to keep his natural accent which makes him even sexier. And Henry Golding is also really hot. The whole meta storyline, and story within a story, and this story I'm about to tell you is a lie and then I'm going to rewind and tell you what really happened, got really grating for me. It kept losing my attention, but it's a movie that you have to pay attention to so I kept rewinding it. I think there is just something missing but I can't really pinpoint what that is. Overall, I did like it, though. I was just expecting something more exciting.

2. Horse Girl - If you don't know anything about this movie, I suggest you keep it that way before watching it. It's a movie that I knew nothing about except that Alison Brie stars in it - and I love her, so I was instantly hooked. *spoilers ahead* But what the movie turns into is really unexpected and...exciting in a way. It just starts so slow and normal, and descends into complete madness. At first, I was a little offended by the implications that this girl was "weird" because she seemed like she was living my life (I work, I watch tv, I sleep, I repeat), but then just as I was thinking this - she gets...creepy. I like that you don't really understand what's happening to this girl at first. Eventually, you realize that she's having a mental breakdown (or she is being abducted by aliens if you prefer to take the film more literally). I've said it before, but even though I'm not scared of much in this world, I think having a mental breakdown is just about the most terrifying thing I can imagine. And maybe it's because I think it's actually a possibility for me? I had a mini one last July - where I literally started hallucinating, I lost time, and I couldn't verbalize what was happening to me. It was horrible. It was a little different than what this character is going through because mine was linked to depression and stress, while hers is more of a bipolar/paranoia issue (at least I tell myself this because I feel like I have more control over it, which is comforting). I think this is a movie that I will think about for a while, and I love when that happens. Plus, it has some really charming moments - the birthday party scene, as a whole, is really great - the white guy rap is hilarious, as is the guy's confusion over what "a baker's dozen" means. Although, I have to say if someone was trying to set me up with a "weird, loner girl" and I opened the door to someone who looks like Alison Fucking Brie, I would be way more ecstatic than this guy seems to be. Oh, and Brie co-wrote this, so that's super cool.

3. The Lighthouse - This didn't seem like my kind of movie, but it just received so many great reviews. I honestly thought I was going to be surprised by it. But unfortunately, I think I hated it. I'm a big fan of Robert Pattinson - and I'm excited for his take on Batman, it's such a surprising casting choice (and I'm reminded now of that actor's roundtable interview where Eddie Murphy was comforting Pattinson and he said something like "I think you'll be a great Batman" and then he instantly turned to Taron Egerton and said "and you'd make a great James Bond" and Taron got all flustered. That's two Taron mentions in one post! I can't help it, he's the only thing that's keeping me going at the moment). Anyway, spending 4 weeks with someone in a small space is definitely my version of Hell, and that's basically what this movie is about. I just don't connect to it, and I should. It's also really dark in parts (in color, and also subject matter), so I had trouble seeing what was going on (and I even put my glasses on!). The accent bothered me a lot - I didn't even think it was supposed to be American, but apparently it's supposed to be a Maine dialect. I can't say that I know a lot of people from Maine, so maybe it's done well, but it still was hard to listen to. And, just in case you haven't seen it, and want to know just what you're getting into - he fucks a mermaid, and just when I contemplated the logistics of that to myself, "how does one go about fucking a mermaid?", a mermaid vagina flashes across the screen. Asked and Answered. The movie just felt like it was trying too hard to be weird and that's always frustrating for me.

4. The Way Back - Not something I was particularly excited to watch - it just seemed like a cliched sports movie, while also being a cliched substance abuse movie. And, it is both of those things. However, I enjoyed it way more than I was expecting to. I'm a big fan of Ben Affleck, but he's done this "working class, average Joe" character TO DEATH (to the point, where I think he thinks he can still relate to this type of role, but he hasn't been "working class" in over 20 years). He still does it really well, though (and he might even get an Oscar, considering everything else has been canceled this year? Maybe they should just cancel the Oscars? Or just give it to Taron Egerton as an apology for overlooking Rocketman? That's THREE times. I'll stop now. I promise.). I think it's pretty clear that Ben put his own personal history with abuse into this movie, which made it more authentic and genuine, and also sad. Just plain sad. I liked that the movie doesn't end with the big "winning game", and then everything is suddenly great (i.e a typical happy ending), instead it gets pretty dark and self-destructive. On as side-note, I will never understand drinking beer all day. Don't you feel bloated and gross? I love beer, but if I'm trying to get drunk (and wallow in self-pity), I would drink hard liquor. Just seems logical...

5. Late Night - I was so IN for this movie in the beginning with Emma Thompson being a character who is in a position of power, but treats other women like garbage, as she has an "issue with women". It's such an underrated problem that women have to deal with, but it's way more common and simpler to blame men. I thought that it had so much potential, but it never really went anywhere - and instead, the character is just a bitch to everyone regardless of sex, so the setup in the beginning is pointless. It's interesting that in reality we aren't even at the point of having a female late-night talk show host, but the story revolves around one that's been on the air for so long that she's getting stale. It's also interesting that it still feels outdated (they act like "slut-shaming" is a new term, and that's been around since I was in high school, so at least 20 years). I'm a big fan of Mindy Kaling, so I think I just expected something more original and modern (I don't think she gets enough credit for her comedic talent in writing and, also, timing - she's brilliant). I do think it did a good job at creating really genuine, layered, complicated characters. It also focused a lot on the importance of diversity within a team, and writing from your own experience (pointing out that people want to hear from women over the age of 50 - however, Pamela Adlon outdid this sentiment with an absolutely perfect season of Better Things). And Emma Thompson is incredible, as usual.