Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Charlie's Angels (2019) - I can't say I was ever a big fan of the Charlie's Angels franchise. I used to watch reruns of the television show (I LOVED Farrah Fawcett), but not regularly. I watched the movie with Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu, of course, but it wasn't very good (I see a lot of love for it nowadays, but come on guys, it was terrible). I thought an updated reboot could work (I mean, with the amount of times they reboot James Bond and Batman, surely there is room for a third rendition of Charlie's Angels in the span of 30+ years). I was also really excited for Elizabeth Banks to direct, and I thought Kristen Stewart was inspired casting. I've liked her in some quieter roles, but I don't think she's great in bigger films like this. Although, unfortunately, she is probably the only watchable aspect of the movie (even though she's still dead-behind-the-eyes, she's also quite charming). The rest of the film is rooouuugh. The other two girls are really dull (I recognize one from the live action Aladdin, in which she is also really dull, but I don't recognize the other one from anything). What bothered me most, though, is that it's not at all fun, at least the previous version had some fantastically cheesy dialogue to laugh along with. Actually, wait, what truly bothered me the most is the absolutely awful action scenes. There is a car-chase sequence that is really hard to look at - the bright yellow sparks during the gunfire is shockingly bad (although it really makes you appreciate the talent that goes into those scenes when they are done well). Oh, and one actual positive thing - Jonathan Tucker is the bad guy! I literally just mentioned him in my previous post which is weird because I haven't seen him in anything in a while. I don't hate him as a bad guy - it's kind of sexy.

2. Triple Frontier - Man, this movie went right under the radar which is so weird considering the cast - Ben Affleck, Oscar Isaac, Charlie Hunnam, Garrett Hedlund AND Pedro Pascal, plus it's directed by J.C. Chandor. I never heard of it until I was scrolling for movies to watch, and was completely surprised by the caliber of talent for a movie that I've never heard of - I literally read the description and yelled out loud "what the fuck is this movie?!". And, it's not terrible. It's not exactly good, either, but I'm not sure why it was completely ignored. There's a lot of issues with the general plot, and the character motivations are very inconsistent. But first, let's dissect this cast. (1.) Charlie Hunnam and Garrett Hedlund as brothers is perfect casting. Just perfect. However, I don't like Hunnam with an American accent. I know that's how he is known - as Jax from Sons of Anarchy, an unforgettable character that I adored, but his accent was always a problem. (2.) Ben Affleck is getting so old and it makes me so sad. He's only 9 years older than me, but honestly, I think he could pass for my dad nowadays (but good for him in dating Ana De Armas - she is unbelievably gorgeous). (3.) Pedro is under-utilized (as per usual). Next, I always appreciate that J.C. Chandor doesn't dumb down his movies for audiences. You really have to pay attention to details. But this is such a misfire. Instead of dumbing down the plot, he dumbed down the characters - i.e they are supposed to be Special Forces, but they don't realize that a teenage boy is following them? Come on! And the biggest problem with the plot is that they should just bury the money and then come back for it...no? Instead of...you know...BURNING IT. AAAAHHHH. Ok, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it is terrible and should be buried among the pile of forgotten films.

3. Onward - Such a super cute movie! I feel like it didn't really get much traction in the theater but maybe that's just because it was released at the start of all the world ending events? Tom Holland actually has a super cute voice for animation. I think I really liked it because I really, really appreciated what the message turned into. *spoilers* At first, you think it's about someone coming to terms with their father's death. I can appreciate that - but it always makes me angry when audiences are supposed to pity characters for one thing, even though the rest of their life seems perfect. He didn't even know his father (he died before he was born), so how is he so obsessed with feeling loss of someone he never had? BUT THEN, while on this epic magical quest with his older brother to bring his father back from the dead, he comes to this realization that he, in fact, had a "dad" his whole life - his older brother had done everything he felt he had missed out on with a father/son relationship. It's so emotional when he comes to this realization - and the rest of the story just falls into place so wonderfully. We've all lost people, but sometimes it's necessary to think of the people who are in your life that fill those roles. It's not always easy, trust me, every time I have issues with my car - I have a mental breakdown because it's just a reminder that I don't have a dad - even though I have plenty of people in my life who have, and will, help me. It's just one of those things that I always imagine other women relying on their fathers for, and it hurts to not have that support. Overall, I enjoyed this - it's not amazing, or anything, but it's cute and fun, with a wonderful message.

4. Ford v Ferrari - I wasn't really expecting to like this even though the cast is solid and James Mangold has an excellent track record. Mostly because car racing, to me, is like torture (they just go round and round until they crash - what's the point?). I actually really liked it. Like, a lot. It's a very typical "sports underdog" story, but it's done really well. I really liked how it's not set up as a clear "hero vs villain" story; instead both the Ford and Ferrari corporations are filled with assholes and these two "normal" guys are stuck in the middle (and they are both on Ford's team - so I guess the assumption is that the audience should want Ford to win, because you want these guys to win. I always say that "people work for people; not corporations" and this, in a way, proves that to be true). I also really liked that the driver, Ken Miles (played by Christian Bale), is just an overall decent guy - he's a great father and husband, he's really smart, and followed his passion (yes, he's a bit abrasive, but that doesn't bother me). I wasn't expecting the end (not the outcome of the race - that was pretty obvious, otherwise a movie wouldn't exist) - I know nothing about these people in real life, but I guess I should have paid more attention to the foreshadowing, because when that ending happened...it hurt.

5. 47 Meters Down: Uncaged - I watched the first one a few days prior to this and even though it's pretty bad, it is infinitely better than the sequel. The first one seemed a little realistic. I hear of dumb young women doing all of these unsanctioned tourist trap kind of things, like cage diving, all of the time, and it blows my mind. It made sense that it would all go wrong, and there wouldn't instantly be someone there to help. However, with this one - it's just really stupid. First, why/how is this even a sequel? Not only is the cast different, it has nothing to do with being "47 Meters" underwater. It's just another shark attack movie, so why have it connect to a previous mediocre shark movie? Why not just make it its own thing? Second, all of these girls are terrible actresses (I don't recognize any of them, so I assume they are all newcomers). Third, it's dumb - like if the scuba diving was spontaneous, how did they happen to have scuba gear for 4 people that fit perfectly? And last, and most important, it's really boring. There's just not enough shark attack carnage until the end.