Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Ma - Octavia Spencer is always great, but this movie is not. The plot is actually a good one, for a horror movie, but it takes so long to get to the point. Absolutely nothing happens for the first hour of the movie. I like the main girl, I recognize her from Booksmart. But there are a bunch of supporting actors, who are only in it for mere minutes, who are way to good to be utilized in this way (Luke Evans, Allison Janney, Juliette Lewis). Once it finally gets going it becomes a fun, cheesy horror movie full of cliches and dumb dialogue. And Luke Evans' penis (which I was not expecting. The only time I jumped through the whole movie!!!). Also, this is going to make me sound like an unsympathetic bitch but the catalyst for the movie (the reason she is crazy) is really dumb - *spoiler* she was bullied, because that's what every movie like this is about nowadays. How about people take some personal responsibility for their own actions, you know? She willingly went into that closet. People don't deserve to die just because you're a gullible idiot.

2. The Hustle - Wow. So bad. Not even a little bit good. The trailer was pretty terrible, but I thought it could be cute. I've enjoyed Rebel Wilson in the past (I thought Isn't it Romantic was super cute, and I never expected that to happen). And I like Anne Hathaway. It's supposed to be a gender-swapped Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, but it fails in so many ways. First, it's not funny at all. Like, not one joke landed. Second, Hathaway's British accent was so insane. It hurt my brain to listen to her. Third, the whole thing is really anti-men, and it terrifies me that this is seen as being a good thing for women. The whole con-artist part relies on the fact that "no man will believe that a woman is smarter than he is" (actual line from the movie), which is just ludicrous. But then the kicker is that *major spoiler* they get fucking played by a man. Then what in the actual fuck is the point of this movie? OH...wait...I just remembered back to my earlier point about it not being funny - I did laugh once, when she made fun of her Beetlejuice suit. That was a good one.

3. Parasite - I wanted to believe the hype, but it was hard considering that I believed the hype surrounding Snowpiercer, and I thought that movie was...just "ok". While I did find this to be a much better movie, I'm not in love with it as most cinephiles are. I enjoyed it. It's well-made, and wonderfully acted. It will definitely be in my Top 10 from last year (probably top 3), but that doesn't mean it's a masterpiece - it just means that last year was a shitty year for movies (at least from what I've seen so far). I was actually a little annoyed with this movie in the beginning. It's hard to believe that poor people worry about phones and wifi? Is that poor now? Because when I was poor we worried about food and shelter and heat (and we walked to school uphill both ways!!!). I'm not trying to be unsympathetic, but I genuinely just don't understand - it's weird to me that the internet has become a necessity. Anyway, there comes a point in the movie, about half-way through, when I finally bought into this family and this story and really started to enjoy it. And then, once the rain starts, it gets so good I get goosebumps thinking about it. I was under the impression that this was a horror movie, for some reason, and it's definitely not, so I think I also kept waiting for the "horror" part which was a disservice. Overall though, it is a brilliant story about class - the symbiotic relationship between the wealthy and the poor. There is also an amazing balance of controlled chaos. It felt like the movie was going to bubble over every second, but it holds back until the end, and it is very satisfying.

Judy - This movie just makes me so angry. Well, actually, it's the performance that makes me angry. Wait, no, it's the fact that is performance was so praised and showered with awards that makes me angry. I've never been the biggest Renee Zellweger fan - except for the Bridget Jones movies and Chicago. She is sort of this spacey, eccentric personality, and she seems intoxicated all the time (mean, but true), so I don't think this role is a stretch for her. This performance is just Renee Zellweger with really good makeup and hair. Plus, I could hear her Texas twang through the whole movie, so someone please explain to me just how this deserves an Oscar - when Lupita and Sienna Miller weren't even nominated?? Also, I was under the impression that she sings the songs herself (which is why none of the real high notes are ever featured), but it seems like she is lip-syncing through the performances (which is more of a sound-mixing issue than her fault). Judy's story is a tragedy, and just so heartbreaking but I would have loved if the movie had a little more nuance - it's just so cut and dry (A to B storytelling is just so ordinary, especially for a biopic).

5. The Best of Enemies - I watched this a few weeks ago and I just had to look up what this movie was even about, so that tells you exactly how memorable it is. I watched it for one reason, and one reason only, Sam Rockwell. He is the best at playing unlikeable characters that you still somehow root for. Taraji P. Henson is great, but that show that she is on is so awful, it makes me not like her (why are you wasting your talent on such a garbage show, Taraji??). I was surprised by Anne Hache! I haven't seen her in anything in years. I assumed, for some reason, that she quit acting? Anyway, I don't really have much to say about this movie. It's based on a true story, and I don't think it tells you anything new - But I'm actually surprised that it didn't get more attention and rave reviews like other mediocre stories about race (like Green Book). It seems like the type of movie that Oscar voters love to pat themselves on the back for.