3 Thoughts on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

1. It's better than I thought it would be - I went into this movie with the lowest expectations possible. I love the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, but I haven't seen them in probably 20 years. I'm positive that if I watched them now; I would laugh at how awful they are. I'm not opposed to updating something that was popular over 20 years ago, but I was hesitant with the new appearance of the turtles. They look weird. With all of the critics shitting on it, I assumed it was going to be painful to sit through. It wasn't. The story is decent, the turtles are fun (still weird looking), Megan Fox is hot, Will Arnett made me laugh a few times, and the movie moves really fast. It's a typical Michael Bay production - action scenes galore. One in particular, the truck flying down the snow-filled mountain is a really, really well executed scene. It's an adrenaline rush, for sure. I left the theater with a sense of "nothing gained, nothing lost" attitude, which is better than expected.

2. It's still not a good movie - I'm not going to lie or over-state my enjoyment. It's not a *good* movie by any sense of the word. But like I said, I doubt the original movies are *good*, if I watched them as an adult. Kids, however, will probably enjoy this movie and that is kinda the point....right? It's a big, loud, obnoxious summer blockbuster made for teenage boys (generally) and it succeeds at that.

3. Okay....it's ridiculous - I can't understand how certain plot points get overlooked. There are so many what the fuck moments that seriously don't make any sense (but that can be said for some critically praised movies as well....*ahem* Snowpiercer). The biggest one that bothers me is that same snow-filled scene mentioned above, apparently takes place about 20 minutes outside of NYC - yet, there is no snow in NYC...not even a flurry. I didn't even get the impression that it is supposed to take place in the winter (April O'Neil exercises outside on a seemingly warm, sunny day). Also, the convenience of the story is just a little too silly for it to be taken seriously, even if it is made for a younger generation; it doesn't have to be so simple and straightforward. A little depth never hurt any film.