3 Thoughts on Total Recall

1. The remake potential - I'm not totally against remakes.  Sometimes it is fun to see how an updated version of a film will turn out with new technologies and a different cast.  It's just rare that it actually turns out to be good or better than the original. I watched the 1990 version of Total Recall only recently, for the first time.  The nostalgia factor from seeing it 22 years ago was missing for me. Therefore, I was able to view the film with wide eyes, thinking of how cool a remake could be.  The potential is there, it just didn't work.  The new version updated enough of the story to break free of its roots and included some nods to the original but the most glaring problem was that all the fun was missing. Action films should be fun. Period.  I was bored.  Period. There was a strange disconnect between the movie and the audience. It felt like I was watching someone else play a video game and I was told that I wasn't allowed to play.  It was just one chase scene after another, strung together with cheesy dialogue and a cast with absolutely zero chemistry.  It is definitely the worst film that I've seen in theaters this year, so far.

2. Colin Farrell is awesome, Jessica Biel is not - If Colin wasn't in this movie, I am pretty sure I would have wanted to walk out.  He probably should stop participating in remakes but I usually end up liking his movie choices and he always has my attention.  My love for him distracted me from the movie (luckily) and I ended up spending a good amount of time remembering the film The Recruit.  I replayed parts of it in my head and couldn't wait to get home so that I could watch it, only to realize that I only own it on VHS (and no longer own a VCR).  What a fucking disappointment that was.  Anyway, he is the best part of Total Recall, while Jessica Biel is easily the worst.  I have been referring to her as "the most boring actress alive" for years now.  I honestly have nothing against her, I just think she lacks a personality and a screen presence, which are both pretty important for an actress to have.  Kate Beckinsale really had very little to do, acting-wise.  She was just there as the never-ending threat, like a fucking machine (I actually thought that maybe she was a machine, which would have been awesome).  Bryan Cranston is barely in the film, so don't go see it based on his appearance. 

3. There is really nothing else to talk about - I can't even muster up my usual minimal "3 thoughts" -that's how fucking boring and pointless this movie is. Oh, and I really hope the critics are bashing the unsubtle use of lens flares in this movie because J.J. is endlessly attacked.  It's only fair.