Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Animal Control - I only watched the first few episodes, but it's super cute. I doubt it will last very long because none of Joel McHale sitcoms last very long, aside from Community. Obviously, the animal aspect is a big part of my enjoyment (kangaroos! bears! snakes! cougars! rabbits! I love them ALL!), but I also really, really instantly adore this cast. Aside from McHale (who plays a similar character to....uh...every sitcom character he has done, but he's really good at it), there are GREAT supporting characters and it's already so hard to pick a favorite among them - although I'll probably pick Grace Palmer as Victoria because she's super hot and she has an accent (check and check!). I also love that Vella Lovell is in a much chipper role than My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (although she was hilarious in that role, she reminded me a bit of April Ludgate from Parks & Rec). They all have such great chemistry so quickly, which I think is rare for sitcoms (a LOT of sitcoms need a whole season for the chemistry to work - Parks & Rec is a perfect example of this). It's also laugh-out-loud funny. 

2. Copenhagen Cowboy - This is exactly what you'll expect if you're familiar with Nicolas Winding Refn projects. You can literally put on any scene in the mini-series and instantly know that it's Refn's.  It's a neon soaked noir-thriller - a visual feast with Refn's signature camera-work, a measured pace, an excellent soundtrack, and perhaps most importantly, a really memorable outfit for the main character (that cobalt blue track suit & puffy jacket is so intense and memorable). The story starts off really strong (I watched the first three episodes in one sitting), but it meanders a little too much for my liking and unfortunately I just got a little tired of it - it also hurts that it's in Danish because the combination of it being really slow, and having to read the captions just really falls apart by the 5th episode. BUT, I still think it's worth watching if you are a fan. There's some terrific acting, especially the lead actress (Angela Bundalovic), and some scenes that are absolutely stunning. It just probably could have been condensed into 4 episodes. 

3. Cunk on Earth - Uhhhhh this is hilarious. I don't really see many people talking about it and I don't think Netflix has advertised it at all, but it's really, really funny. I watched it because I recognized the woman from that Ricky Gervais show After Life, and she was my favorite character on that show. Her name is Diane Morgan and apparently she did a version of this show a few years ago called Cunk on Britain (I'm going to have to seek that one out!) and has played this character, Philomena Cunk in other projects and seems to be pretty popular in the UK. Maybe with this and After Life, she'll become more popular over here because she is absolutely hilarious. This series is basically a satire of history channel docuseries type shows about the history of civilization, but she asks really silly questions and is a bit of an airhead about it all. I have to emphasize how insanely silly it really is, but it's also sort of refreshing to just laugh at the dumbest things imaginable. I literally cried from laughing so hard, which hasn't happened in a while. I find it hilarious that she brings up "Pump Up the Jam" regularly and then plays a snippet of the video for absolutely no reason at all - it gets me every time. I also think the experts are just really good sports - nobody seems to want to hurt her feelings or call her dumb, they just look at her a little bewildered and skeptical, but still try to answer her in a serious way. I can't wait to watch more of her. I wish she was my best friend. 

4. Daisy Jones and the Six - I can't even express to you how much I didn't enjoy this book. Just so poorly written, contrived, cliched, and lacked all emotion necessary to click with these characters. I adore Riley Keough, though. So, I decided to give this a try. I watched the first four episodes and I'm not convinced that it's any better than the book. The casting is a HUGE problem. First, I'll focus on Keough as Daisy because in theory I can see why she was cast - as the granddaughter of the biggest musical act of all time, I think she must have an inherent understanding of this rockstar lifestyle. But, a big part of this character is that she's one of those women that has a *presence* that you can't ignore; that California cool girl who rolls out of bed not knowing what day it is but somehow succeeds in everything she does. Keough does not fit that description - her Daisy feels measured and planned. There is zero chaos to her. After I read the book, I looked up some more reviews (because I was baffled at the praise), and I found out that it's thought to be based on Stevie Nicks. So, basically Fleetwood Mac fan fiction and for some weird reason people like to read fan fiction (isn't that how that Fifty Shades of Grey book came about?). Changing the character to someone a little more smarter and nuanced, isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in this case, Daisy also becomes very, very boring. Next, Sam Claflin (how on Earth did I not know his last name Claflin? I always thought it was Caflin). I think I've mentioned it before, but I'm in shock that he's as young as he is. He's late 40s in my head (which is not an insult - men almost always look better as they get older). He's a strong actor, but watching him play someone in his 20s is laughable. There is also a scene in which I think he's supposed to be a teenager (LOL). The two of them are supposed to have this INSANE chemistry, and while their interactions have been limited in these first four episodes, I just don't think it's going to happen for me. Also, both of them have nice voices, but....not anything to rave about?! The supporting cast is Suki Waterhouse & Camilla Marrone, both of whom are only as famous as they are because they dated Bradley Cooper & Leo DiCaprio, respectively. I've seen Waterhouse in something else before and she was terrible, she's even worse in this. I also think it's funny that she made a point in an interview that she reached out to her friend, my husband, Taron Egerton (they were in a movie together - the one that she was terrible in), for advice on taking on a role as a musician, as if she's undertaking some big challenging role and...uh...she's barely in it and I don't even think she's had any performance based scenes??? (and also, STAY AWAY FROM HIM. I think she's dating RPatz now? Hopefully.). But Marrone is the only interesting actor of the whole bunch. She kind of reminds me of Diana Silvers (who I love), and she's acting circles around everyone else in the cast. Anyway, I probably should not have watched this considering I don't like the book and the story is dumb and cliched, but as I said, the cast really dragged me in and now I'm even more disappointed. 

5. Poker Face - As expected, I love this! It's a very fun mystery-of-the-week series, with a loveable lead and interesting characters. I think I just get blown away by the hyperbole that some projects have thrown at them, though. My friend from work kept telling me I HAVE to watch this, it's the best show ever, Lyonne is a QUEEEEEEN, etc., etc., etc., and when I finally started it (I say "finally" but I literally started it maybe a month after it started airing), I told her that I like it and she was like "Isn't it the best?!" and I was like "no, but it's good", and she couldn't compute. I think it's a societal effect of social media - to massively exaggerate everything, so saying something is "good" somehow means it's awful. Anyway, I do love Natasha Lyonne and I've been a fan of hers since Slums of Beverly Hills which came out when I was a teenager. But also, my husband is IN LOVE with her. I find it fascinating, because he doesn't really like any celebrities (I can name the most beautiful women in the world - Scarlett, Angelina, Halle, Salma and he's like "meh"). He didn't really know of her until I was watching the first episode of Russian Doll and he came home and sat on the couch and watched the rest of the episode. I figured he hated it (he hates everything *rolls eyes*), but after it ended he was like "who is that??" and also "I want to watch the rest of this so don't watch it without me", which rarely happens. He now listens to all her podcasts and interviews and when this was announced he was like "DO NOT watch that without me". When I made fun of his crush, he said "oh yeah, so surprising that I love a sassy, Jewish, New Yorker who has wild hair and a filthy mouth" and then STARED at me. And then it all made sense. I'm not saying that I'm like Lyonne (I'm certainly not as cool), but there are a lot of similarities. Maybe I'll dye my hair strawberry blonde and take up smoking. I'm sidetracked now, but back to the show - I like a lot about it. I like that it has a strong overall story that is the background of each episode, with her on the run, driving through small town America and solving different crimes. It has a great pace, a distinct style, and I like that the audience knows more than her so the fun part becomes about watching her figure it out. And Lyonne is PERFECT in this - I definitely agreed with the internet push to get her cast as a modern day Colombo. I think this is as close as we're going to get. 

3 Thoughts on The Oscars

1. The Show - It seems like I might be in the minority in this, but I hated it. I appreciate that it felt like it was back to "normal" after the weird Covid production in 2021 and then last year's show that managed to celebrate film while also insulting actual filmmaking. But I can't stand Jimmy Kimmel - I don't think I've ever laughed at a single joke of his ever. He's (and I know this is a trendy word to throw around but I think it applies here) basic. I get that they want to play it safe with a more broad comedian, someone they can trust (as opposed to someone like Ricky Gervais), but then go with someone more beloved. Billy Crystal is always great. Same for Steve Martin. But they're really sticking behind Kimmel, huh? I think the only thing he did well was address "the slap" by focusing on the Academy's reaction to it, as opposed to either Will or Chris. His advice if it happens again "do what you did last year...nothing". And if you participate in any violence we will "give you an Oscar and allow you a 19 minute acceptance speech". Other than that, though, his jokes just didn't land. And he became particularly unfunny when he went into the audience and made SO many mistakes. Trying to rope Malala into a bit about Chris Pine & Harry Styles? Telling Colin Farrell you can't understand him when you're surrounded by Irish nominees? Bringing up your stupid as fuck feud with Matt Damon? It was all so embarrassing. The rest of the show was just very boring. Only two presenters were actually funny - Hugh Grant (always the best. And his pre-interview with Ashley Graham was fucking hilarious if you ask me. I've never heard her speak before and she definitely should stay away from interviewing people. This was a disaster. She also "corrected" Pedro Pascal when he said Rihanna was performing. She said she wasn't, which wasn't true? It was announced that she was performing and their own person interviewing celebs wasn't informed enough about the show. It was polite of Pascal to not point out that she was, in fact, wrong. For the love of God, can we get some actual journalists to do red carpet interviews?) and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (maybe let her host?). Also, the performances were all so dry. I was really looking forward to "Naatu Naatu", but even that seemed off with the weird lighting. I laughed HARD at Lady Gaga's stripped down performance (does she think she's Nirvana or something? Absolutely hilarious). I don't know who Sofia Carson is, but she's in Taron's next movie (Carry On), so I am forced to love her (good thing she can sing!). But, the worst part of the whole show was making the the release of a trailer part of the show! WHAT THE FUCK? Isn't that like a conflict of interest or something? How is that ok? It was for The Little Mermaid, which still looks terrible btw. Halle Bailey can sing, and I'm rooting for her, but that trailer did them no favors. 

2. The Winners - I think I'm most disappointed that there were no surprises. It's always fun when there's a big surprise in at least one category. But I think this year it came down to two nominees in every category, with one having a pretty clear edge if you've been paying attention to awards season. It all came out exactly how I expected. It's weird to watch it all go down among "film twitter" especially when someone shows sincere shock - like when All Quiet on the Western Front started sweeping the technical awards (I thought that was a given? Have you all not been paying attention?) and Sarah Polley winning the Adapted Screenplay award (she's won most pre-cursors; this was not shocking). I can't really say that I'm upset by any of the awards - most are people who deserve accolades, but most are not who I would have chosen. The only ones I'm happy about are del Toro winning for Pinocchio and "Naatu Naatu" winning for Original Song. I also think Ruth Carter deserved the Costume award for those funeral outfits alone (it was one of two categories I was rooting for EEAAO to win, but it was a tough category). I really liked Everything Everywhere All at Once (I think it could have had some tighter editing, so the editing award is kind of funny, but...uhhh...that guy is really hot so give him all the awards), but the only performance I saw in that film that grabbed my attention is Stephanie Hsu. It's insane that she went home empty handed, while her three co-stars won. She's had a great year, and I think she'll have a huge career after this, but it still sucks. I think the biggest lesson for anyone wanting to get into Oscar predictions is the old saying that Hollywood loves a comeback story. They love patting themselves on the back for giving attention to someone after ignoring them or shunning them for decades. Literally, look at all four acting wins. It was fun seeing Ke Huy Quan through this awards season - he is just pure joy to watch, and I loved his speech and that he mentioned being a part of the seemingly elusive nowadays "American dream". We have A LOT of work to do here in America, but this "dream" still exists and anything is possible here. We tend to forget that sometimes. BUT how can you watch that clip of Barry Keoghan's performance and tell me he's not the winner?! And Farrell deserves an Oscar. If you're going to give one to Jamie Lee Curtis for a NOTHING performance - clearly a legacy win, then why not Farrell? He gave an incredible performance and has been doing so for the last 20 or so years. I've not seen The Whale yet (and I'm a big fan of Aronofsky, so I think I'll probably love it), but *don't hate me internet* I hate Brendan Frasier - as an actor, at least. I'm sure he's a lovely person. He seems nice and genuine, but he is a terrible actor (facts are facts). I would have also liked if some of the awards were spread around a little - the fact that Banshees of Inisherin and Tar are going home with zero awards? Even Elvis could have won for makeup? Babylon could have easily gotten Production Design. Anyway, my point is SPREAD THE LOVE. It's so boring watching the same movies winning every award. 

3. The Fashion - I've never seen a worse fashion line-up than this year (ok, obvi Covid Oscars wasn't the most glamorous). It was my worst nightmare - the year of the wedding dress. THANKS I HATE IT. Michelle Yeoh, Andrea Riseborough, Emily Blunt, Ana de Armas, and so many more wore white (or white-ish) dresses. And Ariana DeBose and Eva Longoria were practically wearing the same dress...aren't stylists supposed to prevent that from happening? Since I started with the bad, I'll continue with the dresses I didn't like - I usually love Florence Pugh's unexpected fashion choices, but this feels like something she's already done before AND it looked like a big wrinkled mess. Mindy Kaling in that weird strappy dress with detachable sleeves - it's an ok dress but not for the occasion (also in white - but she changed into the SAME DRESS but in black for the show?? WHY?). But onto the good! My favorite dress is probably the actress from Top Gun: Maverick (do I have to look up her name?? Ugh...okay give me a second....). I also think Stephanie Hsu's dress is such a stunning color that I'll forgive the crinkled material. Sandra Oh also wore a beautiful color and I loved the relaxed Grecian style. Halle Bailey in that tiffany blue dress was perfect for the night and on theme for her Little Mermaid intro. I think my most surprising best dress (and overall look) is Jessie Buckley. Her style is usually wild and she was no different here - but the Victorian goth dress with the modernity of her bright red bob hair style was just *stunning*. It was so perfectly her. Same for Sarah Polley I love that she did menswear and didn't try to make it sexy (like with no shirt under it or something), she opted for classic but made it a little more feminine with the flower pin. Love it. As for the men - Barry Keoghan in that lavender - LOVE. And I really liked Samuel L Jackson's champagne colored blazer with matching bowtie. Okay, her name is Monica Barbaro (from Top Gun) - the color combo on that dress is so unexpected and beautiful. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. You People - I actually thought this was kind of cute. It's a little overdone, and the leads have absolutely zero chemistry together, but I like what it's trying to do and there are some laugh-out-loud moments that makes it worth the watch. It's like a modern day Guess Who's Coming to Dinner without being a direct remake. It also has a fantastic cast. Eddie Murphy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, David Duchovny and Nia Long!! Sign me up. Plus Molly Gordon and Andrea Savage (in way too small of a role). As I said, the leads don't have chemistry but I still like both Jonah Hill and Lauren London (she has THE BEST laugh). I will say, though, that this look on Hill, is not working. And when they show up on that first date together, they both look like fucking clowns. There are some really strong scenes and memorable dialogue that I think attempts to bring these two cultures together while also showing the differences and the microaggressions that happen between different cultures. Julia's character is the perfect example of someone who thinks they are being kind and open to diversity, but she's still racist. You never really hate her; she's certainly not a bad person, but she's still racist. When he tells her "you're talking to her as a black person instead of my girlfriend", and she is so oblivious to it - it's just a really well-done character. I also like that it subverts certain clichés and instead opts for the unexpected - like when Murphy's character tries to humiliate him by taking him to the basketball game and then he ends up being really good at basketball (I cheered! It's a cute scene). I did have some issues with a few things - first, Sam Jay is not funny (the not funny announcer at last year's Emmys and a writer for SNL - enough said). Second, they lost me when she described her brand new mini-cooper as an "inexpensive car". I realize that money is not an issue for either of them, but I would never describe a *new* car as inexpensive (it's at least 20k? an "inexpensive car" to me would be a used car at least a decade old that you bought for 4k in cash). Third, Nia Long is not old enough to be Lauren London's mom. For real. They are only 14 years apart! And last, why do they keep talking about having kids so casually? She is 39 years old - unless she's got some eggs frozen somewhere that's not very likely to happen. I know that it does happen, but I feel like the more realistic conversation should be about how they can still do that and what the timeline looks like if that's what they want (not "well, if we have kids...", as if they haven't really thought about it yet). Anyway, overall I did like this more than I thought I would. It's cute! 

2. All Quiet on the Western Front (2022) - Just wonderful. The score is absolutely incredible - I couldn't get it out of my head for days. It's attention-grabbing and harrowing, much like the film itself. I'm honestly not sure if I've seen the original? I feel like I must have between my grandfather always making me watch war movies as a kid and taking a multitude of film classes in college - I think it's safe to say that I have, but I certainly don't remember it nor can I discern it from any other war movie I watched when I was younger. However, I do think that somehow the film industry is still able to make war movies interesting - between Dunkirk, Hacksaw Ridge, and 1917, there's still plenty of room for them. I will admit that I did start to lose interest about 1/2 way through because the story has been done so many times, but damn, it's still so beautiful to look at. The scene with the tank driving over the trenches - just stunning! Just a really well-made film that definitely should have been seen on a big screen (especially with that score and sound design). It's actually shocking that it's a Netflix movie. Also, I didn't realize Daniel Bruhl is in this! He's great. But what a stunning debut performance from Felix Kammerer. 

3. Three Thousand Years of Longing - This is rather ridiculous and quite boring, which is surprising given the leads. I expected something more unexpected, more profound. I actually didn't know Idris Elba was in this? You can't really tell that's him in the poster. But I always expect something more from Tilda Swinton. It's just really stupid - she discovers a djinn who offers her three wishes, but she's convinced it's a trick and that anything she wishes for will end badly for her. She claims that she lives a content life so she doesn't want to tempt fate. I could literally think of 3 wishes in 3 seconds flat. And don't even pretend like you wouldn't wish for money - I wouldn't even be gluttonous about it. Just enough to live comfortably and be able to travel the world. Anyway, the effects are also absolutely terrible. It's almost hard to look at. And there are scenes that I think should have been subtitled. It's not exactly necessary because I understood what was happening with context, but it's frustrating. Anyway, I really didn't enjoy this at all, but it did get interesting with her bigot neighbors at the end. I feel like if more of the present day story was set outside that hotel room, I would have enjoyed it more. I like the idea of "stories make meaning", but his stories are soooooo boring. I almost wanted to fast-forward through them. 

4. Vengeance - I've always liked B.J. Novak so I was interested to see his feature film directorial debut. Although I question the judgement of anyone who willingly refers to himself as "B.J." (his name is Benjamin Joseph. Why not just Ben? You're gonna go with B.J.??? Really?). This movie had mostly good reviews and a terrific supporting cast (Issa Rae, Lio Tipton, Boyd Holbrook. But also...Ashton Kutcher and John Mayer...eek). I was a little nervous with the beginning because the scene with Novak and Mayer is so hard to watch. It just doesn't sound like a real, natural conversation. Although I do think that this is the way these influencer/podcaster type individuals talk to each other, I just find it grating. It's like when people use the phrase "I love that for me" (the only one who pulls off talking like this successfully is Annie from Schitt's Creek), my skin crawls and my face starts to twitch. I'm also not on the podcast bandwagon. People really believe they are interesting enough to talk for an hour, and most...are not. Also, John Mayer kind of creeps me out a little bit, even though I don't have a solid reason for it. He just seems off to me (also mini-story time: one time I got tickets for an invite-only Justin Timberlake concert, and John Mayer played the guitar the whole time. I think I was the only one in the room who noticed. I said to my friend "that's John Mayer" and she said "I don't think so" and other people heard me and nodded their head in disagreement, as if I was crazy. And then at the end of the show Justin said "thanks to my good friend John Mayer" and the crowd was all shocked. It was so weird because it's not like he was in disguise or anything). Also, this particular type of true-crime podcast really gets under my skin. They are just mostly so disrespectful (the one in this is aptly titled "Dead White Girl", which sounds offensive, but there is a real podcast called "My Favorite Murder". For real! Look it up!). It does start to get interesting, though, and I actually really enjoyed where the story goes. I think Novak is trying to do something here with uniting "city folks" and "middle America" (i.e the left and the right, typically). It's smart that he uses Texas as the main location - a state that is often the focus of elections because it it typically considered conservative and yet there are major cities like Austin and Dallas that are definitely more liberal (this is how New York is too, but nobody wants to admit it. NYC may be liberal but travel an hour north and you are in a very conservative state). There are some really funny moments (my favorite is "Schindler's List! You look like a lot of guys in that movie!" I didn't even realize that B.J. was Jewish, but that made me LOL for a good long minute). I do think it would have benefitted from more laugh out loud moments like that, but overall, I was entertained for its entirety. There are interesting characters, a fun mystery, and it's quite dark and subversive. Also, how did I not know that about Six Flags??? I thought for sure "no way", but I looked it up and it's TRUE! Holy moly. 

5. M3GAN - So incredibly stupid, but also fun and it's one of those horror movies that doesn't take itself too seriously. It does what it sets out to do, and I always have respect for that. It's like Chucky and Annabelle with a little evil Short Circuit thrown in. I think the biggest mistake, though, is that the main character, played by Allison Williams, is very, very unlikeable and I rooted for her death. She shows, like, zero emotion when her own sister dies. She's supposed to be a genius, but when asked "You didn't put in parental controls?" she responds "I didn't have time!". LOL. She had time to build the most advanced robot toy in the world, but didn't have time to add something that a simple Smart TV has?? Okay...sure. And then she advocates for her neighbor's dog to be PUT DOWN instead of just fixing a simple hole in her fence??? And we are supposed to root for her??? Uh...no fucking way. ANYWAY, I definitely expected more kills and more gore, but what we do get is fantastic. When she does *the dance* and then picks up the blade from the paper cutter, it's pure horror fun and will go down in horror history as an iconic scene (but again, it's incredibly stupid that there is a gigantic paper cutter in the middle of the hallway. Why is it there? And why would this gigantic tech company need a paper cutter? Do they even use paper??? For what?? Even my place of work has gone mostly paperless. We do have a paper cutter that we use for signage when we have promotions, but that's literally it. I can't think of a single reason this company would have a paper cutter in their hallway). It's super cheesy, a little creepy and definitely campy. And I was entertained for all of it. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Jurassic World Dominion - Well, it's certainly better than the second one so that's a plus, I guess! It doesn't have dinosaurs walking on glass rooftops, which is probably the only thing that I remember from the second one (it's literally scarred into my brain). I didn't even remember who this seemingly important character, Maisie Lockwood, was (my husband had to give me a little plot summary because I was so lost). The whole first hour that is based around her is really, really, really fucking boring. It doesn't really get any better, until the actual dinosaur carnage which isn't until the last, like, 20 minutes. I loved all the little nostalgic moments that referenced Jurassic Park. It was lovely seeing Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum back together again. BUT, I was really waiting for an appearance from Lex and Tim. I care way more about them than any of the new characters (honestly would have laughed if the pilot lady died - what a horrendously annoying character. And the little girl wasn't going to die, obvi, but I would just shrugged if she did). It's kind of weird that they didn't include them in this - they are just as iconic as the adult characters from the original. I don't know about the actress that played Lex, but I know Joseph Mazzello is still acting (he was just in Bohemian Rhapsody a few years ago). Anyway, it's not exactly terrible, just really disappointing. I'm glad this franchise is finished (for now, at least). 

2. Somebody I Used to Know - Alison Brie is so fucking adorable it hurts. The movie is...okay, but definitely enhanced by how adorable Alison is. I also love Dave Franco. I actually can't decide which one of them I love more. They are one of my favorite Hollywood couples and I hope that they continue to make movies together (Franco directed and co-wrote this). I also love Jay Ellis (he is so HOT. I rooted for him hard in Insecure) and Kiersey Clemons (someone please keep her away from the superhero genre though. She excels in films like this). So, obviously I was all in with just the cast alone. But it's a cute movie, just not great. It's basically My Best Friend's Wedding, except it's about an ex-boyfriend getting married instead of a best friend you might be in love with. I think it could have been A LOT funnier, because my biggest problem with it is that it takes itself too seriously. There's only one really great scene - and it's literally a direct copy of My Best Friend's Wedding karaoke scene (just role-reversed); it's even referenced within the scene. BUT, MY GOD Alison Brie in that white button down with the bikini top and cut-off shorts improvising lyrics to that Third Eye Blind song is just a perfect scene. I could just watch that for hours. *spoiler ahead* I thought *for sure* there was going to be some sort of mix up with her trying to ruin the wedding by inviting the bride's parents but instead her assistant finds the groom's real parents instead??? There's a really weird foreshadowing scene where she is telling her assistant to find the parents of the person in the picture but it's of both the bride and groom. But then I realized that they instead were only constantly bringing up the fact that he's adopted so that he could have the acceptable excuse for being an emotionally abusive controlling asshole because of "abandonment issues". What a load of garbage. 

3. Tar - This is a very good movie, a little overhyped, but it's good. It definitely doesn't need to be 2 1/2 hours long, that's for damn sure. But, as expected Cate Blanchett is spectacular - I think the Oscar is hers (although I wouldn't be mad at Michelle Yeoh winning). I like that it's told as a biopic within this fictional world. It definitely tricks you into thinking it's about this real person, Lydia Tar, a supposed world-renowned conductor and EGOT winner (not sure that's possible, though - how would a conductor win an Emmy or Oscar? Is she also a composer? Okay...I just looked it up and she is supposed to be a composer too, so I stand corrected). I think it's an interesting take on the whole idea of a "cancel culture" (which I don't really think exists - most people who are "canceled" within the entertainment industry are still working, but they might not be getting the jobs that they want as a repercussion to their OWN ACTIONS). It's also important that it's based on a woman in a position of power - because I think it's assumed that only men take advantage when they are in positions of power, but it's definitely a human flaw (men just happen to have more positions of power). As soon as you know where the story is going, which happens in an early scene with her students, in which she tells one of her students "don't be so easily offended" - which is often a tactic of abusers (convince you that you're overreacting), the anticipation of her inevitable downfall is particularly interesting. I'm the first one to say that we have turned into this "easily offended" culture and in terms of certain things, I think it's way overblown (comedians tell jokes - sometimes they are offensive, and also sometimes people might offend without meaning to and the internet seems to overblow every situation). But in terms of professional and educational settings we, as a society, need to do better in terms of who we study and celebrate. I think it's interesting that there is this whole backlash against critics describing this as "funny" because it very clearly is a satire, especially with that ending. The whole idea of it is actually very funny if you think about it. 

4. Aftersun - This is pretty close to a perfect movie for me - I rated it 4.5 stars which, just to give some perspective, I've only rated one other movie 4.5 stars in the last 4 years and only 22 movies in the last decade (and that's only because 2013 was an incredible year - 8 movies at 4.5 stars!). But honestly, ratings are irrelevant - I try not to get to caught up in them. Instead I like to focus on my thoughts and feelings while watching a film (sounds cornier than I intended, but it's true!). I went into this fairly cold - but I did have high expectations from the resounding praise. I do admit that I was a little confused by it in the beginning - it's a simple story about a father & daughter on vacation. It seemed slow and it felt like I was watching someone else's home videos, which is never as interesting as the person showing you the videos thinks it is. I started to question why anyone would want to see this? I found my thoughts drifting to vacations as a child, and I found this odd connection with the way this father/daughter interacted in a similar way to the way I interacted with my cousin. He was only 7 years older than me, but I think he always tried to take on a big brother/fatherly presence in my life because he knew that I lacked that. All of these memories of him came flooding back, and then my heart stopped because I suddenly realized what this movie was about. I've spent the last 14 years desperately trying to hold on to memories of my cousin because he died by suicide. And I'm constantly haunted by this feeling of "I should have known", searching my memories for the signs. I realized that I was watching this young girl's memories of her father in the same way that I desperately try to remember my cousin, but I hoped I was wrong. And then she steps on that fucking carpet and I literally felt like I was stabbed in the heart. I don't know how I didn't burst into tears, but I think it was mostly because of how shocked I was - what a stunningly beautiful way to show grief within the film medium. It's not just the subtlety of the story, the little moments of brokenness, it's also the actual use of film technique. The shots are impeccable. There is an entire scene shown through a reflection on a black television screen. The intermixing of the home video shots, with shots like these to convey a "memory" is so well done and smart. I don't feel like a lot of filmmakers focus on composition of shots and character blocking anymore (at least in a way that feels natural as opposed to experimental), but this film should be studied for this purpose. When it ended, I sat for a few minutes actually considering pressing the restart button - just to focus on all of these details, but decided I wanted to sit with it for a little while before watching again. I don't understand how Charlotte Wells isn't nominated for an Oscar for this. 

5. Sharper - I can't believe how many reviews I read that called this movie "smart". It's the dumbest most predictable movie I've seen in a long time. If it wasn't for the (mostly) terrific cast and the sleekness of the film itself, I would have rated it far lower. I say mostly, but I really just mean Julianne Moore, John Lithgow, and a scene-stealing and stunning performance from Briana Middleton. As you may already know, I'm not a fan of Sebastian Stan (he's not a good actor and YET he keeps getting so many roles! I don't understand it at all), nor am I a fan of Justice Smith. As soon as I saw him, I remembered him being in something recently that I liked but hated him in it (I looked it up and it's The Voyeurs), but I tried not to let it effect my viewing of this. However, he's really bad here (he's also apparently in the Jurassic World movies. I don't even remember him, and I literally watched Dominion a week before this. Probably better to be unmemorable though, as opposed to horrendously bad). There is something about his voice - the way that it's so monotoned. It just renders him emotionless, and he's definitely supposed to be the character that we care about in this. Anyway, *some spoilers ahead, although the film is so easy to figure out, I don't really feel like I'm spoiling much* It's so incredibly obvious that the woman walking into the bookshop is a con-artist from the moment she is introduced. And then it's so incredibly obvious that John Lithgow is his "rich" father that he gets the money from, therefore making SebStan (the man behind the original scam) his "step-brother". Then it's super obvious that Moore is in on it too (sorry, I'm using the actor names because I'm too lazy to look up their character names). I was slightly surprised by the relationship twist behind Stan and Moore, but that's probably it. The ending is even worse with the predictable "twist" after "twist". It's certainly not smart. There's one cute scene, though - the one with Stan and Moore dancing after they pull off their heist successfully. They certainly have chemistry together. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - So I wasn't the biggest fan of Black Panther. It's okay, I just didn't really understand the rave reviews (it's a solid 3 star movie, so not among Marvel's worst). I do understand the cultural impact, though. It's heartbreaking to finally have this huge superhero film starring a black superhero and then losing him to Cancer at such a young age. I have such respect for Chadwick Boseman for powering through his diagnosis and giving his all - he knew the cultural impact as well. He definitely left a legacy that will be remembered for a long, long time. It definitely hits different to have a funeral scene for a character when the actor died in real life - it must have been very difficult for these actors to film this. I'm glad that they decided to keep going with the Black Panther character, because I think that's what he would have wanted. It's too important to not continue. But, I do think this is just another 3 star movie. It's mostly filled with good stuff, but nothing that excels it in any way, aside from the costume design (I was rooting so hard for Everything Everywhere All at Once to win costume design, but I forgot about this! When I saw those white funeral outfits in the trailer my jaw dropped open. Simply stunning). There are a few surprises (*spoilers ahead*): After maybe an hour (I might be exaggerating, I didn't pay attention to the time. It sure felt like an hour), I finally screamed "Where the FUCK is Lupita?!!" and then she showed up a minute later looking absolutely stunning in that coral number. She's my favorite of the cast, so I was annoyed that she is missing from the first part of the film. I also was not expecting them to kill off another main character??? WHY? As if it isn't depressing enough? And another surprise, for me, is the blue people! I kept seeing people make fun of the blue people, but I assumed they were talking about Avatar, but now I realize some may have been referring to this! Hilarious. Hilariously bad, actually (they looked terrible). Also, they really need to start teaching filmmakers how to film night sequences. There are parts of this movie that I literally could not see AT ALL. Anyway, on to the good - I loved the ending. Dominique Thorne is a great young talent that I can't wait to see more of. And I like Letitia Wright - she's a great actress and her character arc feels like a very natural progression given the circumstances. As far as the "controversy" surrounding her, I think people need to move on. I think some celebrities forget the impact they have (especially ones who are newer to fame); she made a mistake and apologized for it. And to be clear, I don't blame her for questioning the Covid vaccine. Her mistake was sharing a video that was ill-informed, so instead of expressing genuine concern, she spread misinformation and that is dangerous considering the reach that she has. She's ALLOWED to question what goes into her body and make her own choices, though, as is everyone. 

2. Empire of Light - What a waste of talent this film is! It's sort of shocking. Not just the cast (led by Olivia Colman), but it's directed by Sam Mendes, shot by Roger Deakins, with music by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross. How the fuck did this group make such a mediocre film? It doesn't make sense?! And it's not even the good kind of mediocre, instead it is actively bad in certain aspects. It's very cheesy and I can't even tell you the story they are trying to tell - is it about mental illness? Racism? The magic of film and storytelling? I think it tries to tackle all three of these topics in an extremely lazy way. And then turns into the Nicole Kidman AMC ad. Colman does her best, and is actually incredible during her schizophrenic scenes, but it all feels a little too ridiculous to be taken seriously. It's also really hard for me to believe that she's in her 40s because she seems like my mom's age (late 50s/early 60s). I don't mean for that to be an insult - she just has this presence of someone a whole decade older than her. Her and Firth seem the same age but they are 13 years apart! Fascinating. She develops a relationship with her co-worker who is far younger (in his 20s), and nothing about it seems real or genuine. At almost 42, I can't even imagine having any interest in someone in their 20s. My husband is 7 years younger than me, and that is already a struggle sometimes (whenever he doesn't catch one of my dated references it's always a game of "is it because he's too young?" or "is it because he grew up in a white neighborhood?". It's a fun game. Like the other day he didn't know who Aaliyah was. *bangs head on a wall*). My cutoff is that they have to be born before 1990 (this allows for Taron Egerton in case I get bored of the whole marriage thing and decide to make Taron fall in love with me... - he was born 51 days before 1990 so we're good). What was I talking about??? Oh yeah, so I think this relationship feels so awkward because they only give reasons for her to be interested in him (he's attractive, smart, kind, etc.), but never really answer why he is interested in her - she's quite unfriendly to him in the beginning and seems to have very little personality (until the mental breakdown). It is made very well (because of course it is!), but I will remember absolutely nothing about it within a few months. 

3. JUNG_E - I had higher expectations for this than maybe I should have. I just loved Train to Busan so much - it revitalized the zombie genre for me, so I was hoping for the same magic here. Unfortunately, it's just a very average sci-fi story. The world building is very cool and I enjoyed all of the futuristic technology, but nothing about it felt very original (or revitalizing!). Similar to Train to Busan, though, there are some great characters. There are some scenes that are done very well, in terms of character development - like how confident he is going into his presentation vs. how the presentation actually goes. It does a good job of giving these characters depth very quickly - you instantly know who to root for. And there's some interesting commentary on classism vs technology. But there's not much else to say about it. I would recommend it as a fun afternoon flick, just don't overthink it. 

4. The Pale Blue Eye - Christian Bale is always a reason to watch a movie (even if it looks incredibly boring like this did...). He's just an incredibly versatile actor who never plays it safe. Two more reasons to watch this: Charlotte Gainsbourg (I haven't seen her in anything in years! Where has she been?) and Lucy Boynton (I really like her, but I would love to see her in some bigger roles soon!). Other than that, though, this movie is very, very slow, as expected. It reminds me of that show Ripper Street or that one with Dakota Fanning (I can't think of the name of it) - both shows that I like to a small degree. They are well-made and sometimes have a good, twisty mystery, but ultimately it gets very boring and feels repetitive. Honestly, I stopped paying attention to a good 30 minutes, and was still able to pick up the plot again. I think it's just this genre that never works for me fully - this sort of Gothic thriller/mystery. They are usually very beautiful (helped by the Victorian costumes) and atmospheric, but I almost ALWAYS end up bored by the end. 

5. Spoiler Alert - Ugh...this movie got me. Sometimes a good ole' sappy romance is needed, and this one filled the void for me. I didn't cry, but I felt the tears forming. It's kind of like The Big Sick except *ironic spoiler alert* the guy dies at the end. I didn't know much about this before hitting play - so I was a little shocked in the beginning that it's based on Michael Ausiello's memoir (I didn't even know he wrote a memoir! He was one of my favorite writers at Entertainment Weekly, but sadly I did not follow his career once he started that other website. TV Line? I think?). I truly loathe The Big Bang Theory, but I've liked Jim Parsons in everything else I've seen him in and the guy who plays his partner is really hot (I think it's just the glasses though? and the personality?). Plus, you can't go wrong with Sally Field in the perfect mom role. It's a very sweet movie - I found myself smiling through most of it (except for the ending obvi). They have a very cute and realistic romance, and I like that it doesn't shy away from the hard times and the difficulties that arise after being with someone for over a decade. I also laughed hysterically (and was flabbergasted) by the reveal of what his apartment looks like. I was trying to guess beforehand and I figured it might have to do with some sort of pop culture - like he has an apartment filled with classic television memorabilia or something to that effect but the reality is far worse (I'm not going to spoil it). But it's like that house that was listed on Zillow (I think?) that was completely normal and then one room was filled from floor to ceiling of Tasmanian Devil stuffed animals and collectibles. I'm not sure I would follow through with the relationship after that reveal, to be honest. There's a difference between collecting something and being obsessed (it borders on insanity - I don't care if there is a meaningful backstory or not, it's still unhealthy). ANYWAY, aside from that, I loved learning about their story and I'm glad that Ausiello decided to share it with us. It's really heartwarming, endearing and life-affirming. I could have done without the narration (it gets a little grating after a while), but overall I liked this very much. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Fleishman Is in Trouble - *major spoilers ahead* Well, I think it's been quite a long time since I truly hated a television series *this* much. Maybe since Girls, which I did not continue watching - one of the few shows I could not stomach even with my completist compulsions, luckily this series is a mini-series so I only had to sit through 8 episodes. I was able to get through it simply because of my love for both Lizzy Caplan and Adam Brody. I will say that I did take a LOT of angry notes while watching this and sometimes it's kind of refreshing for a series to make you feel something, even if it is mostly frustration. I kind of feel like just copying and pasting my notes into this because after reading them over they are kind of hilarious, but I also sound like a crazy person so I'm going to try to rewrite it all in a more cohesive way. So, the first reason that I hate this show so much is because it's completely misogynistic. Yes, I realize that a woman wrote the book that this is based on, but facts are facts. It disguises itself as this story of different perspectives, but ultimately it's a story about a woman being a crazy bitch who abandons her children because she can't control her emotions. The male perspective is the focus for SIX of the 8 episodes, and then we're supposed to go "oooooh she's been through some shit, that's why she's like that". It's manipulative BULLSHIT that I could see through in the very first episode. But the series relies on the audience to be on his side until the switch (i.e it's relying on you to be misogynistic, as well. So...um...if you fell for it, you might want to have a look at your feelings towards women). I think it's also trying to tie together successful women with mental breakdowns - as in women are under so much pressure to "have it all", but I will just never feel bad for someone who CHOOSES a life like this (millionaires choosing to make more millions). There are societal pressures of being a working mother, sure, but the real pressure for working mothers are on the women who have to work in order to provide for their child financially. That's when the "balance" becomes mentally unhealthy. Do you know how easy it would be for this woman to just take a few months off of work? The privilege of just falling asleep on a bench in the park and losing track of time? She loses a client, but she still has a home and...millions of dollars. What am I supposed to sympathize with here? I have sympathy for mental breakdowns, obviously. I had a mini one a few years ago and it definitely would have been more terrifying if I were alone. And it did happen because of stress and a lot of bad things happening all at once (my best friend was really sick, I had a huge falling out with my mom that still hasn't fully recovered, my cat died, I witnessed a stranger almost commit suicide, a man fell through our glass window at work and it was the most amount of blood I've ever seen and I thought I witnessed his death but luckily he survived - but this caused a lot of nightmares with glass shattering and PTSD was triggered. I know most will say that 2020 was the worst year, but the end of 2019 really fucked me up). But I do think there is a difference if you have the resources to help you through it. And also if you have children - your choices are crucial, that is all I'm saying. Like I said, it's clear from the first episode that things aren't as they seem and that he's an unsupportive asshole - it's garbage that we have to wait SIX WHOLE EPISODES for that to be revealed. The second reason I hated this show so much is because of Jesse Eisenberg and Claire Danes. Just the most mis-matched couple I've seen in a while. I've liked Eisenberg in a few things, but mostly when he plays a version of himself. It does not work for me here because he's supposed to be like a hot commodity. This part is going to make me sound like a superficial bitch, but there is no world where Eisenberg is physically hot. I can understand women being attracted to him because he's smart and funny (and uh...rich and famous), but in this world on a dating app - he would not pull all of these hot women. He has the body of a 12 year old and the sex scenes are so uncomfortable to watch because uh...he looks like he has no idea what he's doing (I'M SORRY BUT IT IS TRUE!). I don't think I've ever really been a fan of Claire Danes. She's one of those actresses that just does a really great ugly cry and everyone laps it up. As I was watching this, I saw many reference episode 7 as Danes giving a phenomenal performance and I thought "I bet she does her ugly cry" and goddammit I was right. It's so ugly (and over the top) that I actually laughed out loud, though, so it had the exact opposite effect for me. I'm sure she'll probably get an Emmy nomination for it, but, I would love for her to do a project in which she doesn't rely on this ONE skill she has. Some other reasons I hate this show: The flashback scenes with the terrible wigs and the soft lighting are horrendously bad. The fact that it has a "happy" ending with her showing up at his door after they've both knowingly caused each other so much pain. The painfully slow story-telling. You get the picture. It's just awful. But here are a few good things (aside from Caplan and Brody): The one line in the whole show that resonated with me was about why men prefer younger women - "they hate us less", it really captured my attention because I actually think that's a reasonable and true reason. There is also some FIRE music in the last episode. Regina Spektor (I went to college with her) and that cover of Dancing in the Dark - an oldie but a goodie. That's all I got. 

2. The Last of Us - So, I don't dislike this show, but I'm not really understanding all of the overwhelming love for it. I've never played the game (I've never been a gamer. Even as a kid I would play Nintendo at my cousin's house, but I never owned any game consoles and never wanted them. I think I had enough entertainment with books and tv). I went into this extremely blind - I didn't even know it was about zombies until after the first episode aired. So far, it hasn't really done anything new - it feels a little bit like The Walking Dead but somehow slower. I've only watched the first 3 episodes, and I'm definitely going to keep watching but it's all just sort of baffling. I love Pedro Pascal (and I feel like I was there before everyone else. I remember talking about him in Narcos and everyone was like "who?"), but, and this is a big BUT, I really can't stand Bella Ramsey. I remember the casting announcement and as soon as I realized it was the girl from Game of Thrones, I was like UGH. I thought I would give her a chance, but I watched that movie by Lena Dunham recently (I can't remember the name of it) and she was even worse that I remembered. There are just so many talented young actresses out there, I don't get it. It's definitely not the first time I've hated a beloved actor/actress so I'll just throw her on the pile (of Claire Danes, Julia Garner, Timothee Chamalet/Chalamet, Adam Driver, there's many, many more I can't think of right now). HOWEVER, I was thrilled to find out that Anna Torv is in this!!! She's one of my favorites. Although *spoiler* I guess she's probably not in many future episodes (I'll hopefully be placated with the appearance of another favorite - Melanie Lynskey). I find it fascinating how many people are singing praises for the third episode, as if it's some sort of revelation. It's an incredibly slow episode about a couple that are given very little depth. I could not tell you one thing about Frank and the only thing I can tell you about Bill is that he's a survivalist (my husband is too. Literally, he's intent on surviving the apocalypse - he builds his own radios and has space food in our basement along with a hydroponic garden. He's recently even acquired some solar panels that will be strong enough to run our coffee machine because he thinks that I'll have the will to live if I can have my coffee. He is wrong. If there is an apocalypse type event I do not want to survive it). I just don't have any reason to care about these characters? They seemed like they lived a pretty boring and lonely life together, and dying together is fairly logical. I'm not gonna cry about it. 

3. Mayfair Witches - You can probably guess why I started watching this show: Alexandra Daddario. It's weird that I never even heard of this show until it was announced that it was picked up for a second season??? This is what I'm talking about with there being waaaay too many options for television nowadays. It feels like an odd complaint but I think that's why everything keeps getting canceled. Half the time when people are complaining about a show being canceled too quickly I have never even heard of the show they are talking about. It's so hard to keep up with everything - especially because I used to rely on Entertainment Weekly for such information. I miss that magazine so much. Anyway, I thought well, at least with this show, we already know there will be more...so in theory...it should be good? It's not, unfortunately. It's not really bad or anything, just very uninteresting. I've never been much into witch stuff though (even though I've been known to have my own witchy powers...*ahem*). I'm on the 4th episode, and I just feel like nothing that interesting has happened. She's just learning about her history and that she is, in fact, a witch, but....so what? I need more of a plot than that. Daddario is just stunning though. I could probably watch her read a phone book and be mesmerized. I also really, really like Jack Huston, but he's kind of below his talent in this. I'm sad to say that if it doesn't get better in the next few episodes, this might be a show that I cut from my watch schedule. It's pretty rare for me to do that, but, again, there's just so many other options out there. 

4. George & Tammy - I liked this mini-series quite a bit. Perhaps it's because of the two lead actors - Jessica Chastain (on a side note: I'm so excited that I got tickets to see her in A Doll's House on Broadway in April. She's one of my favorites) and Michael Shannon. Just two of the best working actors out there. But also I think it's because I knew practically nothing about Tammy Wynette or George Jones. I couldn't even name a song before watching this. I'm obviously not a country music fan. Once I heard her sing, I realized quickly she's famous for "Stand by Your Man", which is a beautiful song with some disturbing lyrics (although one of my all-time favorite love songs is "I'll Stand by You" which essentially says the same thing, but isn't about an abusive/cheating man. At least I don't think it is??? Don't correct me if I'm wrong). It's weird for Chastain to play perhaps the two most famous "Tammys" within the span of a year, but she does a fantastic job in both. Wynette has a very distinct voice and Chastain absolutely perfects it. I love that they both do their own singing - it always feels more natural in terms of acting then when they have them lip-sync. I just think it's just very interesting to watch a biopic about someone you know nothing about because it was all BRAND NEW INFORMATION and I had zero expectations for what was going to be included and excluded within their story. I tried really hard to not Wikipedia stuff while watching (but failed a few times - I was just checking to make sure it was factual!). Tammy really led a sad life in the spotlight - treated just awfully by the men in her life and the music industry. I was also fascinated by George's part of the story, especially towards the end when he starts randomly talking in a duck voice and NOBODY put him in a mental facility? The things men get away with...

5. Accused - I like the idea of this series - especially as an anthology of episodes with the them being a story about the "accused" party of a crime. However, I think that they are trying to show a grey area of these situations, as a way to create empathy for the "other" perspective, and so far (I've watched the first 3 episodes), they are...not grey. The first episode focuses on the father of a teenager who killed himself and several of his peers in a school shooting, starring Michael Chiklis. It's a very relevant story to current times, in America, and there is always a discussion on how much the parents are to blame. It often depends on the individual situations, in my opinion. In this case that they present, though, both of the parents are absolutely to blame, but absolutely the father because he funded his plan! He makes excuses at first, even though he knows that something isn't right with his son ("he refuses to talk to a therapist", "he hasn't committed a crime so the police can't do anything"), but that's just all bullshit. He should have definitely spoken to both police and doctors. His son is a minor and has very little legal rights. And then he believes his son has changed and wants to take a trip? If he had gotten help, then any psychologist/therapist would have told him that this is a common tactic that is used (suicidal people do this to. They will do their best to convince everyone that they are fine. It's like one of the biggest signs). The second episode is...uh...wait? I don't actually even remember the second episode and I *just* watched it last week so that's a problem, eh? Anyway, the third one stars Rachel Bilson, and she is the biggest reason I even wanted to watch this show. I adore her and miss her. I would love for her to hit it big with something soon. She has really great comedic timing if someone can utilize her correctly. She's not that great in this and it's clear from the beginning how this story is going to end. The story is told from the perspective of a teenager who thinks that Bilson's character killed his mother, so he STABS HER. He could have just calmed down and collected evidence the right way. Vigilante violence is still illegal? So, therefore he should still be charged of a crime. Case closed. Not grey. It's all just so stupid so far. I would love to be engrossed in a new primetime drama, but they all suck now. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Shotgun Wedding - The trailer for this was hilarious because it's not really what you expect from a JLo rom-com. It's just a really weird premise for a comedy. It's more of an action/adventure similar to The Lost City, but it works better for that movie because it's an action/adventure that turns into a romance instead of a romance that gets ruined by....pirates. An actual line in the movie is "everyone we love could die!" HAHAHA get it? It's hilarious! Anyway, it's also another JLo rom-com in which she falls in love with a white guy (I didn't notice the trend until someone pointed it out with her last one, but it's definitely weird). I sometimes enjoy a good rom-com, but this one is not good. The biggest problem is that I don't root for this couple to stay together at all. They are awful together - they seem to want completely different things and he doesn't listen to her at all, and she continues to agree to things she doesn't want to do. Then they bicker for a solid hour. Just absolutely bizarre that this is the dynamic that they're going for. On a related note - I am someone who never, ever wanted to get married and I definitely never, ever wanted a wedding. I've obviously changed my mind on the marriage thing (I still think it's kind of dumb, but it makes sense financially and for life-event reasons. Does that make sense? I just mean like in an emergency situation I would want my partner to legally be able to make decisions for me if I can't). But when I agreed to the marriage thing, I said there is no way I'm walking down an aisle in a big froufrou dress, etc. and my husband responded the say way Josh Duhamel does in this, saying "it would kill my mother". But the difference is that my husband continued with "but we'll do whatever you feel comfortable with", which ended up being eloping on the beach - just the two of us. The fact that this guy is just like no we're going to do a big wedding and his mom is like you're going to wear my dress and she's just like okay even though she's miserable is THE WORST and NOT what a marriage should be about. Anyway, there are a few cute moments - like the ceremony scene when they all start singing "I'll Be". Jennifer Coolidge is the obvious scene-stealer. I feel like I've been a little negative about all her wins for The White Lotus, and it may seem like I don't like her, but that's not true. I adore her - she's hilarious. I just don't think people should win awards for playing themselves. I also love D'Arcy Carden - when she is introduced and she rolls her "R" pronouncing Renata, I laughed hard. Other than that, though, this movie is pretty terrible. It also feels very long even at only 100 minutes. 

2. Breaking - I had never heard of this movie, which I find surprising as it stars John Boyega and Nicole Beharie. If you've read this blog (the 5 of you), then you know my love for Nicole already (I even talked about her in my previous post!). I'm not the biggest fan of Boyega's acting, though. He's fine in the Star Wars movies and I loved him in Attack the Block, but I haven't liked him in literally anything else. I do like him though, so I'm willing to keep giving him chances and hopefully one day he'll surprise me. Unfortunately, this movie is NOT it. He is clearly trying to do a Denzel Washington impression - it's like he watched John Q and decided to do exactly that. It just doesn't work at all. The movie is also a little dull - nothing really happens for most of it, just a back and forth between the cops, the press, and him. It feels like they just have the same conversation over and over again. It's a classic tale of demanding justice (similar to John Q), but the fact that he holds innocent people hostage for a $900 injustice is not going to make me root for you. Do you not realize the psychological trauma that you are inducing on someone else that had nothing to do with you? A strong lead performance is essential with a story like this, so without that it's just really boring. Beharie is the highlight, obvi. I also loved seeing Michael K Williams (I'm assuming this was his last performance? What a huge loss) and Selenis Leyva (Gloria from Orange is the New Black). I don't think I've ever seen her in anything else before but she's a great actress. 

3. Emancipation - This is a well-made movie, but I didn't like it. I hate the black & white cinematography, and it just doesn't capture my attention at all. He's just running through a forest and/or swamp through the first 2/3rds of the movie. There are some absolutely beautiful shots, but ultimately it fails at telling this story in an interesting way. It's a shame because it's probably Will Smith's best dramatic performance, but the Academy is not going to touch a Will Smith performance for years to come. I'm not usually a fan of his dramatic roles (and I thought the performance that he won his Oscar for was actually downright awful), and someone needs to tell him that he can't do accents. But even with the bad accent here, his performance is mostly internal and far more interesting than what he's done in the past. I think a much bigger deal should have been made about the interview in which he discusses how he was treated by Ben Foster on this set. It's wild that some things are just...ignored? It's all being swept under the rug as some sort of excuse for method acting? That's just bullshit. Sorry, you don't get to treat your co-worker like shit because your character would. ESPECIALLY with this subject matter and power dynamic between the characters. It's so disturbing and Fuqua should have cut that shit down. But you know what's even more disturbing??? That one of the producers of this movie (a white guy) collects slavery photography. He has his own personal collection of pictures of slaves and claims he's "preserving them". UHHHH WHAT? Anyway, I will say that the last third of the movie - when it gets to the battle scenes, is really strong. These scenes are filmed perfectly and hit really strong. I just wish the rest of the movie created a stronger emotion. The true story is really inspirational - about hope and survival, but it just doesn't come through on the screen.  

4. She Said - Similar to Emancipation - it's a great story, but that doesn't mean that it's a great movie. And also like Emancipation - there is a problematic producer. The fact that this movie is about the system that protects abusers and then BRAD PITT is a fucking producer just has to be a joke, right? And I'm not even taking into account the newer Jolie stuff; I'm talking about the fact that Pitt knew of Weinstein's abuse (of his OWN WIFE EVEN) and did absolutely nothing - just continued to work with him (you know, SUPPORTING A SYSTEM THAT PROTECTS ABUSERS) and is now making money off of the story just goes to show how performative Hollywood is. They have no interest in actually changing things. ANYWAY, this movie is fairly dull for the most part and extremely repetitive - just these two reporters confronting people asking them to tell their stories, they get denied, make a convincing gesture, then eventually get their story. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I also think Hollywood is churning these movies out too quickly - this just happened and we haven't seen the full outcome yet nor have we had the time to reflect on different nuances of each situation. It's all getting swept up into a particular movement (i.e the "me too" movement) instead of explored individually. There's an attempt to showcase other struggles of womanhood (aside from sexual harassment and assault) within this film - such as PPD, breast cancer, balancing careers with motherhood, etc,, but it all feels like a passing concern and a bit manipulative, in my opinion. I don't think either of the leads have particularly difficult roles to play but both Carey Mulligan and Zoe Kazan give satisfying performances. The most successful part is hearing the testimony from the real people like Ashley Judd. It's not a bad movie, but most of it just plays a little too melodramatic - like the ending when they all look at each other before they dramatically hit the publish button. I rolled my eyes so hard. 

5. Violent Night - This is a fun Christmas action movie. I hadn't seen the trailer so I didn't know the story was about an *actual* Santa Claus. I like the concept, but the obvious plot hole is that if there were a real Santa wouldn't parents notice that there were presents under their tree that they didn't purchase? If Santa were real then it wouldn't be a shock, right? We would have some inkling already...right?? Anyway, David Harbour is the perfect disgruntled Santa. But my heart stopped when I spotted CAM GIGANDET! AKA the guy who killed Marissa Cooper! I haven't seen him in a while so I may or may not have screamed out loud. He's actually pretty funny in this. Also I really like Alexis Louder - she's the one who stole the show away from Gerard Butler and Frank Grillo in Copshop. There's some fun action, great kills, and a likeable lead performance. The twists are kind of expected, but it doesn't ruin the fun. The only big problem (other than the obvious plot hole...) is that this should be 90 minute tops. There's way too much filler to stretch it to almost 2 hours. Totally unnecessary. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Mack & Rita - So I'm pretty far behind on my movie thoughts - about a whole month behind, so excuse me if I don't have much to say on these next 5 movies. My memory kind of sucks, and sometimes boils down to whether I liked it or not, and my quick notes taken during my viewing of it. Which is why I keep writing on this blog - it's not really for others (I think like 5 people read it), but it helps me remember more specific things about films I've watched. And this is definitely a case of me not really having any memory of this movie - I rated it 2.5 stars on Letterboxd (which means "average" to me). So, according to my notes: I like the cast a lot - The girl from You is adorable (I don't know her name, sorry), and I really like Taylor Paige in Zola, so I was interested to see her in a different role - she is also adorable. Dustin Milligan - also....adorable! Plus, Simon Rex! (He's not adorable, he's very sexy though). And Diane Keaton, who I have some complicated feelings about, and I don't think she's given a truly great performance since the 70s, but I adore that she continues to do romcoms well into her 70s and ages with such grace and beauty. She's definitely someone I would describe as a "legend". She sat next to me at a restaurant last year (she was filming a movie in the town I work in), and she actually made me a little flustered and nervous; she has a sense of regalness to her that is hard to ignore. Anyway, this movie is cute - it's a typical body swapping story which is such a dumb plot, but continues to be explored by Hollywood over and over again. This one is about a young woman who has an "old soul"; she stops by this mystery guru person (?) who accidentally turns her into her 70 year old self (somehow?). It's dumb, but cute. The beginning is kind of annoying, though, because these women she's friends (?) with all seem kind of mean to her, and I don't think she should be friends with them - she has nothing in common with them. I can identify with her a little bit, because I was partly raised by my grandmother too (and I love a good kimono - does that make me a 70 year old? I'm pretty sure they are fashionable. Most of the clothes she wears are from my store and it is a very trendy store). Some of the scenes drag on too long - like the Pilates scene (we get it, her body is old so she can't do the moves), but I thought the whole "Instagrammies" thing was really cute. The most disturbing part of the movie is that this group- a WINE CLUB group- put ice in their red wine. Fucking monsters. 

2. Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. - I liked what this movie was trying to do more than I liked the movie. It's a mockumentary style movie about this couple trying to rebuild their megachurch after a scandal has disrupted their success. There are many good things about it - Sterling K. Brown is THE BEST. Regina Hall has been so up and down for me (but mostly down lately with Nine Perfect Strangers and Master - both just horrible performances), but she is incredible in this. Her subtlety in the dramatic moments where she is being absolutely humiliated by her husbands actions, combined with her sharp comedic timing is really wonderful to witness. They feel like a very real couple. My favorite moment is them rapping together in the car (this is me when I'm driving, except I'm white and can not rap). Also, my mouth dropped open when Nicole Beharie appeared because I had no idea she was in this - and I love her! I wish she had a bigger role in this. She definitely deserves bigger roles (if you're not familiar with her please watch Miss Juneteenth and her episode of Monsterland - she should have earned an Oscar nomination and an Emmy nomination respectively). There are a few key scenes that are really wonderful - the end in particular with Hall saying the line "I would sooner kill him than leave him". What a line. Unfortunately, some of it is a little dull and repetitive so it becomes a little boring. It's also very reminiscent of the Tammy Faye and Jim Bakker story.  

3. The Menu - Not what I was expecting, but I loved it. Anya Taylor-Joy is a true talent (and I love her as a red head). Nicholas Hoult can be really great sometimes (I used to hate him, but he's definitely grown on me. I guess I'm no longer a hater. It happens sometimes!). But the true star of this is Ralph Fiennes - just an absolutely incredible performance. I like that the story takes some really unexpected twists and turns and doesn't cop out the ending. It's a classic "eat the rich" type story similar to this year's Triangle of Sadness (although I did like Triangle better just slightly), and it goes quite dark and deadly. I like that it sort of twists the idea of the "final girl" too, since the story can definitely be considered in the horror genre. I would probably describe it more as a very dark comedy, though, because there are several scenes that are quite hilarious. I'm not a foodie at all, and I think most of these over-priced exclusive menu places are just not worth the money at all, but it's satisfying to watch all these pretentious people describe their food experience ("we're eating the ocean" LOL), knowing that things are not going to go well for them. There's a great supporting cast of Judith Light, Janet McTeer, Hong Chau, and John Leguizamo. There is also a deliberate pace and purpose that feels really intense and quite refreshing. It's atmospheric, very jarring in places, and haunting - all while somehow keeping it very light and funny. Just excellent. 

4. Bodies Bodies Bodies - This movie is really, really fun. I was expecting it to be more annoying and too "young" for me, but it's surprisingly well-written and enjoyable. It's also very well-acted. I liked Amandla Stenberg a lot in The Hate U Give and Rachel Sennott is incredible in Shiva Baby, they are both definitely actresses to look out for. Giving a voice to the influencer generation that didn't make my eyes and/or ears bleed is a difficult task, but I really like them both in this. Maria Bakalova won me over with this, too (I wasn't the biggest fan of her in Borat - she was...fine, but an Oscar nomination? Be real.). And even Pete Davidson didn't irk me! I also didn't mind him in that movie he wrote about Staten Island, but I just don't think he's funny at all. I didn't realize that "Bodies Bodies Bodies" is a game - a game that I would definitely never play?? I would just hide in a closet somewhere until it was over. But it does provide for a good horror type movie premise, but I would argue that this movie is never scary (I don't think it's supposed to be?) - it's more of a fun whodunit plot. I figured the least likely person was the killer, and boy was I wrong. The ending subverts every whodunit plot in history and I LOVE IT (although I do remember this being a plot of another movie, I just can't for the life of me figure out which movie??? Anyone?). It's just so fucking funny. 

5. Orphan: First Kill - What a ridiculous fucking plot. I didn't mind the first one - but it only works because of the twist. I feel like once you know the twist, watching it again would just be torture. But this "adult in a child's body" does not work for a prequel if the actress looks like an adult now?? How did they think this would work? I spent the first 15 minutes googling and doing the math because it just doesn't make any sense. First of all, I actually thought that the actress was an adult in the first one (like I thought she was maybe 20 and passing for 10. Not unreasonable because I passed for a child well into my 20s), but she was actually only 12 years old! I have a lot more respect for her acting abilities after learning that. But now she's 25 and she looks about 17/18 but it's a prequel so she's supposed to pass for under 10!!! There's just no fucking way anyone would believe this girl is under 10 years old. So the whole plot becomes null and void. Then, it turns into The Imposter, which as I've said before is just such a ridiculous story (I know, I know, it's a true story). There is just no way that someone wouldn't recognize that this person is not their child and there would be extensive medical tests of a child who was abducted and then found (I mean, just a simple physical would show that she's not a child). HOWEVER, *slight spoilers ahead*, the big twist is revealed. I should have guessed there would be a twist considered the first one was literally built around a shocking twist. But this one is even more stupid! I'm not going to spoil it, but it at least makes the plot make a little bit of sense, even if it's stupid. I haven't seen Julia Styles in a while, which is probably a good thing because she gave one of the worst performances in history in that last Bourne movie she was in. Like, unforgettably bad. She's pretty terrible in this too. Isabelle Fuhrman is way too talented for these movies, but I don't see her getting many roles because this character is too iconic in a way - I think it would be hard to see her as anyone else. I'm hopeful that I'm wrong though, and she has a successful career in the future.