Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Stillwater - When I started watching this, I pulled up some reviews real quick expecting mostly mediocre reviews, but there are a surprising amount of good ones?! I assumed it bombed because I hadn't heard much about it, especially since Matt Damon is usually a box office draw. But anyway, I didn't actually like it, so my initial expectations were right. The only thing I knew about it beforehand was that it was inspired by the Amanda Knox story, which she responded to with a very negative article denouncing the film for using her life story for entertainment without her consent. It was a very well-written, interesting article, but honestly, if she hadn't written it, I would not connect this movie to her story at all. It's a story of a father trying to prove his daughter's innocence by taking the investigation into his own hands (which is not an original story - Prisoners and Secret in Their Eyes instantly came to my mind). As far as I know, Amanda's father had nothing to do with her acquittal, and not much about this case compares to Amanda's, other than her being accused of killing her roommate in another country. Anyway, other than that, the movie is just pretty painful - very slow, very boring. Damon's southern accent is...something. And Abigail Breslin is not a good actress. She used to be, but wow...spectacularly bad now. There are also so many wasteful scenes - there is a 10 minute long scene where he just asks strangers if they've seen Akim. Just over and over again. We don't need to see him ask all of these people - it can easily be implied. There's just nothing about it that feels compelling nor does it feel as intense as it should feel. 

2. The Northman - I have to admit that I didn't go into this movie with the highest of hopes, simply because I have not liked Eggers previous directorial efforts. And by "not like", I mean that I pretty much fucking hated them - both The VVitch and The Lighthouse are just the most boring and pretentious films to be released in the last decade, but people just eat that shit up. I do try my best to keep an open mind when watching any movie. But, I can't really say that I liked this. I liked it more than the two movies that I just mentioned, but I don't think that's saying much. It's very well-made, and far more watchable than his other efforts. It's just not for me - the raping and pillaging of towns, the savageness of it, keeps it grounded in reality, but just not something that I need to witness. I am a big fan of mythology - but mostly Greek and Roman, I'm not as familiar with Norse mythology (although I bought a book about it when I was in Iceland, but have not read it yet). I think if you have a familiarity or even some general knowledge of it, you might get more out of it than I did. I think my two biggest problems with it are (1) It feels so bloated. It doesn't really get to the good part until 90 MINUTES in. Kidman is incredible in that scene - overcoming that weird-ass accent she was attempting (why does she keep insisting that she can do accents? Even her American one is wonky sometimes). But there's just so much nonsense leading up to it that feels so unnecessary. And (2) I can not get over Kidman playing Alexander Skarsgard's MOM. They are 10 years apart and play husband and wife in Big Little Lies. It doesn't work AT ALL, because Nicole Kidman looks AMAZING at 55 - can easily pass for mid-40s. And Skarsgard, also looks...mid 40s. There's no clear distinction on his age, but it goes from him being a child (early teens I think) to "years later", but he is clearly, at least, 25 YEARS OLDER. And his love interest, the wonderful, Anya Taylor-Joy, is completely wasted in this, and also 20 YEARS YOUNGER than him. It's not totally unrealistic, given the time period (or even now...), but it just hurts my brain to the point where I can't focus on the story in front of me. 

3. The Card Counter - I think this is a solid movie, but it definitely could have been better, so ultimately it feels a little disappointing. I haven't really loved a Paul Schrader written and/or directed film since...American Gigolo (although, looking up his filmography, there seems to be so many movies I've never even heard of?! How weird! Also, I didn't hate First Reformed, I just didn't love it as much as everyone else seemed to). I didn't know much about this going in, so I just assumed it was about...uh...a...card counter? Which it is, to an extent, but the real story is far darker, and very unexpected. But back to the obvious part for a second - first, you might already know this, but I LOVE gambling and playing cards. But I'll never understand why card counting is illegal. I feel like if you have the brain capacity to do that, then you deserve to have that advantage. I think the trick is to keep it small, like he does in the beginning - nobody is going to care if you keep winning a few hundred bucks here and there. But people get greedy. Also, on a side-note, one of the biggest reasons I hate Blackjack is because I'm always worried that someone is counting the cards at the table and I'm going to do something to fuck up the count (because I go by gut feelings and intuition and my witch powers, not by what the "rules" say). I do love Poker, though. I think it's harder to count and it's based more on statistics and bluffing, etc (but again, I just go by my gut). I literally SCREAMED when the woman folded with a pair of aces (the winning hand) and this is why I can't watch Poker tournaments because I get so distraught when someone gets bluffed. Anyway, I won't give away what the actual movie is about because I think it hits harder if you don't know, but it is a very strong story. And the soundtrack and score is incredible. Oscar Isaac gives a strong lead performance (probably among my favorites of his). There's a few downsides - Tiffany Haddish is just awful. I don't think she's funny at all, but she's also a terrible actress - it looks like she's reading off of a cue card for most of this. And there is no chemistry between them, and I'm pretty sure there is supposed to be? 

4. Lamb - I was kind of excited about this - I love Noomi Rapace and I thought this looked like a more serious/horror version of the film Splice. That was the pre-vibe that I got from this. But...unfortunately it's kind of dull. Not horror at all. More of a drama about parenthood - the choices one makes and who you decide to consider family, but also about taking something that doesn't belong to you. It can definitely be interpreted into an unsettling tale of an adoption gone wrong. Obviously it's also about an animal/human hybrid - and that alone has a lot of mythological and allegorical messages. Sheep are such majestic animals - we don't see them much in the U.S unless you're from the mid-west (at least I don't think? even farms in upstate NY had horses, pigs, cows, even alpacas, but never sheep). When I went to Ireland I was obsessed with watching for sheep and then we drove down this tiny road and we got stuck behind someone herding a huge flock of them. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Anyway, this movie has a pretty creepy feeling for its entirety, but it never quite gets there until the end. Which *spoilers ahead* I'm happy that they show the adult human/sheep hybrid so that we aren't left with the feeling that her husband fucked a sheep because that's where I honestly thought they were going (either her husband or his brother). I mean, it's still implied that someone fucked a sheep, but at least it's no-one from this story. 

5. The Valet - Really fucking stupid, which I *knew* it would be, obviously. But I love Samara Weaving so much, I would watch literally anything that she is in. And I have to say, my bias might be showing here, but she is spectacular in this. Her line delivery is spot-on and I think it's hard for actors to play actors, especially if they are different then what they would actually do in a specific role - this doesn't really make sense unless you've seen it, but Weaving plays an actress who has a big movie coming out in which she plays Amelia Earhart - and she does it in this really over-dramatic and cheesy fashion, but in reality Weaving would probably make a great Amelia Earhart. And speaking of this - my favorite line in the whole movie is when she says "I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for Amelia Earhart!" with such gusto. I almost spit out my drink because that is exactly how delusional actors are and it's hilarious how she makes fun of it. I also laughed when they showed her weird sitting/standing move in the limo so that she doesn't wrinkle the dress. But back to how awful the rest of this movie is - it's somehow two hours long, which is absolutely unnecessary. It's been a long time since I haven't been able to finish a movie, but this is just so long and so boring that I had to stop it about 1/2 way through and watch the rest the following morning. It literally put me to sleep. The plot is basically Marry Me, with a few changes, but somehow that movie is far superior to this. I like Eugenio Derbez and the rest of the cast (oh I forgot Marisol Nichols is also in this! I love her), but he has sort of three love interests in this, but he is far too old for all of them! Stop doing this, Hollywood. I hate it. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Obi-Wan Kenobi - I can't believe that I watched all three of the prequels (for the first time!) only to have this series begin with a complete recap that was better than all three movies combined. What a waste of 6 hours, but what's done is done. I put off watching them for as long as possible because they just looked horrendous and I'm sorry but Hayden Christensen can NOT act and I don't know why there seems to be this overwhelming love for him currently?!? What the fuck is happening? Is everyone ok? Maybe take a nap or something? Anyway, I do really like all the new Star Wars side-stories that we've been gifted with lately - The Mandalorian is great, The Book of Boba Fett has its moments, I actually really loved Rogue One, and Solo is fun. This, so far, has been satisfying. The third episode has been the strongest, but there have been great moments in all of them, so far (5 eps in). I still hate the use of de-aging techniques and the fact that James Earl Jones likely did not record any new dialogue for this. I just think it's weird and it reminds me of the movie The Congress (which just gets closer and closer to reality everyday and I hate it. And I think actors should be terrified...). I read some of the criticism about Moses Ingram as Reva, and while most of it boils down to racism, some seemed to genuinely dislike her performance (valid criticism), however I find her chilling from the very first episode. I like how her story has progressed. The only criticism I would have is with the dialogue, which is sometimes...rough, but also true to Star Wars in general. Also, the little girl is the perfect child version of Leia, because...um...Princess Leia is...um...super annoying (sorry internet, don't hate me 😬). I could totally do without Hayden, but he's very minimally relied upon acting-wise, so it's not so bad. And Ewan is great, as expected. 

2. 5. Under the Banner of Heaven - I watched the first episode and practically fell asleep. It's sooooo slow and boring. How do you make a show about a grizzly murder that fucking mind-numbing??? But I persisted, and am now on the 4th or 5th one, and it's gotten slightly better. I really like the cast a lot - Andrew Garfield can be really great sometimes (not always), and I love that he's had a resurgence this year. I also like that he's taking a break for himself. I always get nervous for people when they have a tragic event happen (his mom died recently) and then they overwork themselves as a way to "forget" instead of heal. Dude needs a break. Plus, Daisy Edgar-Jones, Rory Culkin, Gil Birmingham, AND Sam Worthington (someone I used to really like but has been in so much garbage that I thought my original opinion was wrong and he's actually a terrible actor, but GUESS WHAT?! I was right! He can act. He just needs smaller, more dramatic roles like this! Casting the right person for the right role is important, people!). Anyway, this is also created by Dustin Lance Black, someone I am a big fan of, so I guess I just had expectations that were too high. It's not a bad show, but there's nothing of note about it, and with so much content overwhelming us, a show like this just gets lost nowadays. I enjoy the scenes with Daisy the most because I like her rebellious character - she's brave in questioning things, but also tries to be respectful. She comes off as really endearing, honest, and sweet - which is the goal, I think. I do struggle with her accent, though - first, I actually thought Daisy was Irish because of Normal People so I thought her Irish accent was peaking out a bit, causing this weird American/Irish hybrid accent. But then I looked it up and SHE'S NOT IRISH. So, what the fuck accent is this? There is another actress on the series that has an Irish accent so maybe she let it bleed into her own attempt at a Utah/Idaho/Iowa accent (sorry I can't remember where she's supposed to be from, but to a New Yorker - those are all the same state...). I like that it shows the sinister nature behind the LDS church and Mormonism (and...um...all religions, really), while also showing that there are good people within this...uh...cult. And Garfield does a great job at being the moral compass while displaying this conflicting idea about this...uh...cult. I'm definitely interested to see how it all ends, but it's been a big chore to get there. 

3. Roar - This series is really kind of out there, and I think that I love it? Some episodes are miles better than others, but overall I dig what it's doing. It's an anthology series telling different stories of womanhood, mostly taking a literal take of a cliché or idea (like "the trophy wife" episode is about a woman literally sitting on a shelf like a trophy so that her husband can adore her all day long, obviously that doesn't go so well), featuring a spectacular group of actresses - Issa Rae, Nicole Kidman, Betty Gilpin, Cynthia Erivo, and MY FAVORITE, Merritt Wever! Also, they are only 30 minute long episodes, which is a dream, and so much easier to binge. There's no filler, the pace is quick and concise, etc. I just prefer it overall than something so stretched out that I find myself questioning the importance of every second (*cough* Stranger Things *cough*). Out of the 5 episodes that I've watched so far, my favorites are the one mentioned above, which stars Gilpin, and the Meritt Wever one, so I'm going to talk about those two for a quick second. I think I like the "trophy wife" episode so much because it didn't end with any sort of certainty, which I feel like is true to life - feminist thought is kind of messy and it means different things to people (an example is that once I had this woman flat-out tell me that I'm not a feminist because I watched Game of Thrones - because of the mostly female nudity. And when I told her that I didn't have a problem with nudity in films and tv, she got even more upset with me). I think a lot of women look down on other women who choose a more domestic lifestyle, and even more so if they are wealthy. But honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with not having or wanting a career if your partner makes enough money to support you both? Who the fuck chooses to...work? Why are we built like this? So when he tells her "you never have to worry about anything ever again" and "all you have to do is sit here and be loved", that sounds like a fucking dream to me. It all goes south, of course, and turns into a story about inserting your independence. But the episode gets really interesting once she throws herself off of the shelf - Gilpin's performance is extraordinary as she relearns the world with this physical rag doll walk that is clumsy and perfectly choreographed. Then it all comes full circle with an interesting feminist precaution about beauty standards, being objectified, and this internal struggle that so many women have about their looks. I sort of love the obviousness that it showcases while also offering absolutely zero answers. The 5th episode is really unexpected - because it starts off really cute about a talking duck, but then it quickly goes full-crazytown with Wever's character falling in love with said duck. I couldn't really figure out where it was going, but when it got there, I almost cried at how perfect it is - as it's a story of how incredibly easy it is to suddenly find yourself in an abusive situation - whether it's emotional or physical, I guarantee you that most women don't catch the early signs (and the early sign in this is that he's overly supportive and convinces her that her relationship with her sister is hurting her mental health), until it's too late. While I think these two episodes are superb, two others are strong - with the first being about a successful black woman who still remains invisible among her peers, and the other about the struggle to juggle both motherhood and a successful career (and also about doctors ignoring the concerns of women...). The only episode that is not good is the one featuring Nicole Kidman - completely boring and forgettable. I think the series, overall, is super cool and I hope they keep doing more seasons (similar to how Black Mirror just keeps going). 

4. Pachinko - I've watched the first two episodes so far, and overall I think it's a bit confusing. The timelines aren't very clear and there are too many stories being told - and I'm not very well-versed in Asian history, so I don't feel like I'm getting the intricacies of the plot that I should be getting. BUT...it's absolutely beautifully made and just gorgeous to look at. The opening credits with them dancing among the Pachinko machines are just so joyful and fun. I could watch that on repeat for hours. I love that it is in both Korean and Japanese - and it distinguishes between the two languages with different color subtitles. I don't have much to say about it, yet, but I'm still certainly invested, and am hopeful that the different plots will become more clear with each episode. 

5. Anatomy of a Scandal - I had this at the top of my list, but then my mom texted me about how much she loved it and how great the acting is, and I moved it down a few notches (my mom has terrible taste in television - the only show she's ever loved that was actually good is Mad Men). Honestly, it's basically a copy of the UK series A Very British Scandal (or A Very English Scandal - I'm confused at the title because it's listed as both on Amazon Prime). Except each season of that is based on a real scandal, and I think this one is fictional (although a scandal is a scandal - and they are usually about political people cheating so fiction and reality blur with these types of shows). So far, I think it's...okay. It's certainly not terrible and is definitely elevated by the performances. I'm a big, big fan of Sienna Miller, but also of Michelle Dockery. I don't believe that anyone would cheat on Sienna Miller but it happened in real life (Jude Law is beautiful, but also a dummy), so I guess I will go with this plot even though my brain tells me it makes no sense. The first episode is pretty underwhelming because it's already so cliched that cheating doesn't even feel scandalous anymore - as one of his supporters says "that doesn't even qualify as a storm". So it is satisfying that it ends more disturbingly with the rape accusation. I don't like the way it shows him lifted in the air as if being literally punched in the gut (such an odd choice for such a serious show - and each episode ends this weirdly for...no reason at all). I'm definitely more interested in the scandal now, and in the moral questioning of the "believe all women" mantra that has seemed to overwrite "innocent until proven guilty". It also questions the subtleties of consent, as in, is it rape if there was never an explicit "no"? I'm interested to see how deep it goes. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Italian Studies - So fucking boring I almost had to turn it off. Vanessa Kirby makes it somewhat watchable, but just barely. There isn't really a plot or a strong narrative at all - this woman meanders through the streets after losing her memory and then she writes about her experience, but it jumps back and forth in time (but is never really clear about which timeline it is in). It doesn't really make sense, either, because if you suddenly forgot who you were, you would seek help via hospital and/or police station instead of going into convenience stores and stealing food or going to hotels and trying to trick them into giving you a key to a room. It's just so...dumb. I think the worst part, though, is definitely any scene featuring the students. They are all just really annoying and they say "like" repeatedly - it made my brain hurt (I say "like" a lot, too. It's very natural for a valley girl, but it's also extremely irritating so I try my best to pay attention to it when I'm speaking so that I don't annoy the fuck out of everyone around me - it's called courtesy, people!). Nothing they say holds any value, it's just random conversations that make no sense. Also, why is Maya Hawke in this? She feels above this to me. Vanessa is definitely above this, but at least she's the star?! Hawke only has a handful of lines - and if you blink you might literally miss her. 

2. The Fallout - I really wasn't prepared enough to watch this. I think I watched it about a week before the school shooting in Uvalde, but it's so heartbreaking to think about how relevant this story is and how many children and teenagers can relate to it. Just devastating that this is...normal. I truly watched this for Jenna Ortega. If there's one good thing I can say about getting sucked into the dumbest show on the planet (You), it's that, at least, Ortega steals the show with every one of her scenes. I was also interested to see Maddie Ziegler in something that wasn't offensive. Both actresses excel this story into something so personal and emotional, it's really satisfying to witness. I think when it comes to tragic events like this, the focus is often on the victims and their families, but it's such a traumatic thing to survive something like this - it effects your entire life from that moment on. It's devastating that the expectation for these kids, is just to go back to school (the place of the tragedy that they witnessed, like having their friends murdered) and just pretend like everything is okay? I think this movie does a really great job at showing how people handle tragedy differently - for some it's debilitating and they shutdown, but for others it will motivate them to take action, and neither of these things are wrong or right. I also really like the relationship that is formed between these two girls - nothing more than acquaintances in different circles at school. It felt very real (often I feel like teenage girls are portrayed as either cliquey or as enemies, but often it's just like "this girl I know from school"). But it turns into an undeniable bond between two people who don't feel like they can connect to the rest of the world. There are some really brilliant little moments too - like when Maddie's character goes to open the door and she pretends like she's not waiting impatiently for her new friend to arrive by stomping her feet towards the door. I also like that it feels a bit directionless, because it mirrors their lives now. This is definitely one of my favorite movies from this year (I'm including it as 2022, even though it was released at SXSW in 2021 - it took a whole year for a wide release. I usually go by IMDB U.S. release dates, but the pandemic really fucked that system). 

3. Firestarter (2022) - Absolutely pointless. I recently rewatched the original because I also recently read the novel, and I wanted to compare. I'm a big fan of the original - it's not a great movie, exactly, but I have a lot of nostalgia for it and it is the first horror film that I remember vividly watching. I'm not sure if I think this remake is such a disaster because the original is so fresh in my mind, or if it is just that much of an actual disaster (although other reviews seem to point to complete disaster, so it's not just me). First, they changed SO MUCH. And they cut SO MUCH. And they do nothing to update or modernize it in any way, which is why my initial reaction is that it's pointless. I think having Zac Efron in a dad role is probably really hard for a lot of people in their mid-30s (I was too old for the High School Musical craze, but I get it). I'm actually a big fan of Zac (it surprised me too - but he's super charming in everything I've seen him in), but he is miscast in this role. The young girl is fine, I guess, but she's no Drew Barrymore (hard shoes to fill, but not impossible). As for the changes, none of them are for the good of the film. I think it's very confusing - if I didn't already know the story, I'm not sure I would understand what was happening. Also, why on Earth do we need a sympathetic Rainbird, and WHY did they give him powers?? He was TERRIFYING in the original and in the book - his obsession with this little girl is unnerving and so disturbing, but in this, I'm supposed to understand his motives? Fuck that. But the absolute worst part, that is also completely unnecessary, is that she kills a cat...ON PURPOSE. I guess it's not really on purpose but at this point she has more control over her powers and still uses her abilities to SET A CAT ON FIRE. Why would any producer/filmmaker think "yeah...that will win over audiences"? How does this person still have a job? 

4. Ambulance (or AmbuLAnce if you prefer, but it's a total copy of SouthLAnd...) - It's a Michael Bay heist movie, what's not to love??? I, for one, will always love Michael Bay. Always and Forever. And he's discovered DRONES! LOL. I know this is a lot of people's version of Hell, but I absolutely dig it. Plus Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II,  AND Eiza Gonzalez??!! The plot is absolutely preposterous and the actual bank job wasn't really thought out very much - just horribly planned from day one. It reminded me of the time when I lived in Philly and someone robbed the bank across the street from my work and he just tried to walk out the front door with the money in an open bag on a very windy day. Money was just flying everywhere and the crowds of people trying to grab at it all was just absolute chaos (hilarious, though). Anyway, it's also really convenient storytelling that this guy is in desperate need of money so he hits his brother up the exact day that he's planning a bank robbery! And obviously it's ridiculous because it's not like you can walk up to a hospital and pay a hospital bill with cash from a bank robbery - he would have to launder it somehow first. WHERE ARE THE PLANS, PEOPLE?! But, it's still a highly entertaining action movie with some wildly chaotic performances - especially from Jake, who just gets more and more unhinged with every performance (I love it!). I can see how the camerawork can be a distraction for some, but for the most part I enjoy all of the overly complicated and completely unnecessary shots (the drones, but also the oddly placed circular shots). It's peak Bay, even if it's not one of his best. 

5. Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers - I think I was led to believe that this was much better than it actually is, but it is super cute and very nostalgic. However, the pop culture references are overwhelming. It's just too much - and the audience (i.e ME) becomes too focused on figuring out every one of them, so the story gets lost. There are just too many references and cameos it's such a distraction. The only one that was really laugh out loud funny is ugly Sonic. I have no idea how they pulled that off, but it's absolutely genius. Actually it's amazing how they pulled all of this off - if you search the wiki page for all of the references, it's mind-blowing - and to think of the years of work that people had to do in order to get permission for all of this! And for that, I definitely have an appreciation for it. OF COURSE I watched Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers when I was a kid. It was never among my favorite cartoons, but I definitely fell into the nostalgia trap of this "reboot". But, objectively, it's not actually a good movie - the story is so bland and it's very long. I do like the different animation styles used together, but ultimately it's an average animated film. Not something that will stick with me at all. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Outfit - So I enjoyed this while watching it, but I watched it only 3 weeks ago and I barely remember it. That's never a good sign. But lucky YOU, I take notes! I watched this for Dylan O'Brien - I just really like him. However, it's a good thing that I like the rest of the cast, because *spoiler* he's not in it for very long (and his Chicago accent is a bit cartoonish, especially combined with the gangster dialogue). Mark Rylance is the lead - it's a quieter, more toned down role than what he's been doing lately (sorry, but what exactly was he doing in Don't Look Up?). Zoey Deutch is lovely. And Johnny Flynn!! I really like him, and this is the third time that I've seen him and been like "oh he's good, who is that?" and low and behold, it's Johnny Flynn - he's a very chameleon-like actor. I'm interested to find out what his actual accent is? The internet just says that he's "British" but that could mean a lot of different accents (and he was born in South Africa, which is also interesting!). The film is a little slow-moving, but the dialogue keeps it interesting. It feels a bit like if you made a movie from the perspective of the tailor from the Kingsman movies (like he's just minding his business making suits, but he's surrounded by espionage - this tailor is surrounded by gangsters, but you get my point). It picks up in the end, and becomes a strong tale of revenge. It goes a bit OTT for my liking, especially in comparison to the rest of the movie, but overall it's good (but obviously not very memorable...). Also, the poster makes it seem a lot more "gangster action movie" than it actually is. 

2. The Forever Purge - I had NO IDEA that a new Purge film came out last year?? Was it even advertised? Was it released in theaters? Also...wow...this is a bad movie. I was expecting not great because the only one that I genuinely liked was the second film of the series. The first one obviously has a great premise, which is why there have been so many of them (and a tv series that I haven't gotten to yet). They have all been not-so-subtly about racism, classism, America's obsession with guns and violence, etc. so it makes sense that this one is at the heart of it all - set in Texas and focuses on immigration. It's just...not good. First, it's soooo boring. Second, they make the racist guy the white savior character (oh good, he's racist, but not a murderer so...he's a good guy? OK, no thanks). And last, I stopped paying attention fairly quickly in because it's just *so stupid*. I do really like the main actress, Ana de la Reguera. She's from Narcos and the tv show version of From Dusk Till Dawn, and stood-out in both. This is an unfortunate misstep for her. 

3. Dear Evan Hansen - I obviously have heard the criticism for this, but I tried to go into this with an open mind. Plus, it's a common thing in the film industry to have actors in their late 20s/early 30s play teenagers, so I was confused as to why so many people had problems with it happening here - and it seemed, to me, to make sense to cast the original actor from the very successful Broadway show. Ben Platt is super talented, so I'm sure it was devastating to have his performance lambasted from the very first trailer, that he, nor the film, were just never able to recover from. It's clear to me, after having seen it, that the biggest issue is from the makeup & hair department. That hairstyle clearly makes him look older, even older than he actually is - and absolutely nothing like what a teenage boy would look like in today's world. He's also hunched over for most of the movie as if he's an 80 year old man, which doesn't help (I think this is an attempt to "shrink" himself - to visibly show his introverted tendencies, which probably works better on a stage than on film, so again, not his fault - the director should have caught that it wasn't working). I also thought it was hilarious that the general population had no idea what the plot of this story is - and were horrified by how fucked up it is. But, even though, yes, the story is fucked up, it's also about someone who is paralyzed by social anxiety (likely autistic, even though I don't think it's ever confirmed), and how not being able to pick up on social cues can detrimentally effect your life. It's supposed to elicit empathy from the audience. Unfortunately, the film is very slow (I have not seen the Broadway show, but this certainly does not make me want to) and mostly dull. I had no idea Kaitlyn Dever is in this - and I'm surprised that she is actually a singer (or trying to be?) because I do not like her singing voice AT ALL. But I still do love her. It's also weird that Colton Ryan is in this because he's also in The Girl from Plainville, but I've never seen him in anything before and then suddenly I'm watching him in two different projects the same week! And even weirder, he plays another character that kills himself! The only real positives are, obviously, Amy Adams (as Dever's mom! That's perfect casting, right there) and Julianne Moore. Also, the songs are very pretty and the lyrics are wonderful. Otherwise, unfortunately, the critics were right on this one - just a big ol' mess. 

4. Uncharted - This isn't necessarily a bad movie, but it's just so disappointing. I love both Tom Holland and Marky Mark (yup, still Marky Mark to me!). I've never played the video game, so I had no expectations regarding its translation to the big screen, but I do think that treasure hunting action-adventure movies should...be fun? And this is just sort of a slog. I'm so surprised at the audience rating on RT of 90% (critic RT is at 40%, which is correct), because I can't imagine that anyone had any fun with this. And if it didn't star Tom Holland, I'm not sure it would even be watchable? Marky Mark is as dull as a rock in this. There is a forced chemistry between them that feels uncomfortable instead of a funny comradery, and there is no chemistry between Holland and Sophia Taylor Ali (I didn't even realize he was supposed to like her until the movie was almost over). The other actress is from You, and she is a very one-note "bad guy". And it's not funny, at all. I laughed once and that was when Holland hits the security guard and falls back almost knocking himself out. Oh and when he says "I'm not much of a dancer", because, in case you don't know, that boy can move. But everything else feels overdone and just not funny. The "action-adventure" part is okay, I guess. It's just very predictable and routine, nothing at all new. With some better dialogue and a more charismatic supporting cast, this could have been passable, but as it is, it's just...so dull. 

5. Respect - I watched the miniseries with Cynthia Erivo not that long ago, and I definitely learned some things about Aretha's life that I did not know. I'm not sure why her family denounced the mini-series, but were behind this movie? Perhaps because the movie glosses things over a little more? Or because Aretha handpicked Jennifer Hudson to portray her? Either way, I think the miniseries does a better job of showing her complicated life, but I still feel like neither live up to the legend that is Aretha Franklin. Hudson is perhaps the only person who can nail the vocal range necessary, while also being an incredible actress - I'm surprised this was overlooked for more awards (it's certainly Oscar-baity and it's certainly better than the disastrous Billie Holiday move that got way too much attention last year). Unfortunately this just feels like every other biopic - very straightforward and clean. It implies a lot of stuff without actually saying it, which is sort of an easy way out. It also feels very rushed and directionless. The supporting cast is all over the place - Marlon Wayans is horribly miscast. He's way too soft to play a "tough guy", and his lowered voice feels like a parody (it's actually hilarious). It seems like every record exec is played by either Paul Giamatti or Marc Maron (the latter is in this - and the role is exactly what you expect it to be). Also, why cast the fabulous Mary J. Blige and give her barely anything to do? It's all such a waste. Maybe one day somebody will get it right (like do it as a big fantastical musical bio with Dexter Fletcher at the helm). 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Moon Knight - While I enjoyed some parts of this, I think overall it is all very "meh". I don't love Oscar Isaac the way the entire world loves Oscar Isaac (probably because I didn't love Inside Llewyn Davis as much as everyone else. Although he was in one of the greatest movies of all time, so I'll never hate him). I don't really like him in this role, though. There's something about it that just doesn't feel right, but it's hard to explain (it's probably the accents and the characters don't really feel that different enough from each other). The show just feels like a combination of the show Legion and Venom, with a little bit of The Mummy mixed in. I was waiting for it to do something new, and it never does. It did surprise me in a few parts, but only because I'm not familiar with the character or comic (I definitely wasn't expecting a talking elephant to show up). I do like Ethan Hawke as a bad guy. But that's really all I have to say about this series. I hope that there is no season 2 - although the end credit scenes imply more story. I hope it's just incorporated into one of the films. 

2. Super Pumped - This show feels very unnecessary. It's all just so uninteresting. Definitely not good enough for this cast (JGL, Kerry Bishe, Kyle Chandler, Elisabeth Shue). I will probably watch every project that Joseph Gordon-Levitt does, but this is not one of his best. He's good at playing an asshole, though. I'm not really a big Uber fan (I think I've used it 3 times total. But, I have a car and if I'm in a place where I'm not driving (mostly just NYC or AC), getting a cab is super easy - so I just don't understand its usefulness). But, I'm not really a fan of a lot of these major companies/apps that have seemingly taken over the world Amazon, Apple (although I use both streaming services), Airbnb, TikTok, Instagram. I just have no use for any of them (oh the one that kills me is Venmo - everyone I work with uses Venmo except for me, so anytime we buy stuff as a group for like a birthday or pizza for the team, I use cash and everyone is like "ok grandma". Which reminds me of a funny story that has nothing to do with anything but I'll write it down anyway. One of my very young co-workers (she was 22 at the time), lost her ATM card so she walked to the bank on her break to get a new one. She had to walk because her car was in the shop. She came back and was upset because they couldn't give her a new card right away; they told her they would send it to her. I was confused as to why she was so upset and she said that she couldn't get her car back because she didn't have her ATM card to pay them. So I asked "didn't you take out cash while you were at the bank?" and she was so confused. "what do you mean?", I said, "you can just take the cash out of your account and pay for your car...with cash". And it was like a fucking light went on. She didn't even think to do that. Yes, I make fun of her every chance I get about this). Okay, sorry, where was I??? This show is so boring. It's just him yelling and stomping around until he gets his way. It's interesting to watch this and compare it to The Dropout - they should, in theory, compliment each other (I believe Uber is even mentioned in an early episode of The Dropout), both being about CEOs of start-ups, even though they have no experience nor do they follow proper protocol. But The Dropout is superior in every way. This will be forgotten as soon as I watch the last episode (I think I have 2 more episodes left. Lord, help me!). It's turned into something I put on while I clean, or write, etc. It's told in a very Adam McKay kind of way with random weird scenes added for effect (the video game scene with fighting de Blasio is downright embarrassing). There's just not enough story there for all of these episodes. 

3. The Girl from Plainville - First things first,  I'm absolutely speechless at a huge part of this story that I did not know - Michelle Carter's obsession with Glee. In the first episode, there is a quick shot of her bedroom wall with posters of Lea Michele, but I thought that was just done for a timeline effect (and a lot of girls her age at that time were Gleeks). But then when the episode ends with the fucking creepy shot of her memorizing the speech that Rachel (Lea Michele) gives after Finn dies I was so fucking horrified (in case you live under a rock - the actor, Cory Monteith died in real life of a drug overdose. Lea Michele was his girlfriend on and off the show.). I, myself, was a huge Glee fan, but Monteith's death was so traumatic, there was NO WAY I could watch the show after he died. I've avoided all things Glee every since, so it was a huge punch to the gut watching this scene for a multitude of reasons, but it's also deeply sickening - that this young girl sought to have this "tragic love story" just like her idol, so much so that she basically fucking masterminded it. The series does a decent job of showing both sides of the story, but I'm not sure we really need to show her side? I'm not sympathetic or empathetic towards her at all, no matter how hard you try to convince me otherwise. If you know (or even *think*) someone is suicidal, you should try to help them, not encourage them. They are so lucky that a detective followed up on his suicide, and realized that there was something else going on. It could have easily just been labeled a suicide and everyone would have just believed that and moved on. I was also unaware of the fact that she was not actually his girlfriend. I do think you can have personal connections with people via texting, social media (obviously), but the fact that nobody even knew about their "relationship" until after he died was really surprising for me. I did know this was going to be a hard watch for me - for personal reasons (I know I overshare a lot on this blog, but some things are still off limits for me), although I wasn't expecting to also be attacked by all the Glee stuff. It just made me so depressed (Cory had so much potential. It's just so sad). Overall, I think the series is just okay. It's extremely repetitive, every episode has a ton of filler, and the timeline gets really confusing (I hate the scenes that are texts, but played out as if they are talking to each other. It's unnecessarily confusing). It did not have to be 8 episodes. In fact, it could have easily just been a 90 minute movie. But, Elle Fanning, is once again, fantastic. Chloe Sevigny is also always good (but really plays the same character in a lot of projects. Not necessarily a bad thing, she's found her niche and sticks to it). 

4. The White Lotus - I know this isn't exactly "new", but it was only released last year and season two hasn't been released yet, so I'm considering it new (the rush to watch things RIGHT NOW is insane. I saw someone say "I know I'm late to the party, but Heartstopper is really good" a week after its release. A WEEK. And they are "late" in watching it. I just don't understand why everyone is in such a rush??). I didn't actually expect to like this - it seemed like the same show as Nine Perfect Strangers and I really didn't like that show - just a bunch of entitled white people acting like their lives are so fucking difficult. No Thanks (I deal with this on the daily at work because all of my customers are like this - and a lot of the clothes from my store are featured in this show...). But this is highly entertaining trash tv. It helps having Alexandra Daddario - I adore her, but I feel like this is the first time she's been given a chance to actually...act? I mean, there are also multiple shots of her in a bikini (as expected), but she's given a really good, realistic storyline - someone struggling with how she is going to keep her own identity within a new marriage (although...she probably should have thought of all this before marrying him??? And, to be clear even though I like her and her storyline, I don't actually agree with her nor do I feel any sympathy for her. NO, she should absolutely not even consider working during her honeymoon - I would be pissed if my partner even suggested it unless they were, like, saving a life. And she married a super wealthy guy, which will make her life considerably easier. Trust me. I *know* the saying of "money doesn't buy happiness" which is definitely true, but it's so much easier to navigate a depressive episode if you don't also have to worry about...money for food? or money at all). She showcases a lot of depth and emotion (I've also recently watched the Percy Jackson movies, which aren't good, obvi, but she's not overly sexualized because they are kids movies, and she's definitely the best part of both of them). Yes, I know that was a really, long thought with multiple run-on sentences that probably doesn't even make sense, but I don't feel like going back and editing it (deal with it!). I also really, really like Sydney Sweeney. I loathe her character in Euphoria (the first season, at least), but she is really great in the role (I've also really liked her in The Voyeurs and Nocturne - even though both of those movies aren't the greatest). She's actually really funny in this (her sarcastic "we all love Hillary Clinton" and when she keeps talking about her grandfather's sex life and she just keeps going. Oh and the books that her and her friend are reading, while on vacation in Hawaii. It's all really funny). And so is Connie Britton (her response to "mom, you look deranged": "I have a filter for that"). I definitely wasn't expecting it to be so funny. The rest of the cast is all great - Jennifer Coolidge, Jake Lacy, Molly Shannon, Steve Zahn. They are all given moments to shine. I look forward to season two!

5. Heartstopper - I absolutely, whole-heartedly love this show. It's just so lovely and full of joy. I watched 7 episodes in a row (which is very rare for me) and then watched the final episode the next day (this morning). It feels like the antithesis of Euphoria in every way, and it is exactly what I needed to watch. LGBTQ+ projects are often just so fucking depressing and bleak (and its not just specific to Euphoria, but also, having your trans character a teenager who seeks out adult men for anonymous sex, is not the best, in terms of representation). Heartstopper does something that is so rare - it features teens just...figuring shit out about themselves, but it features ZERO sex scenes, nor does it have any drug or alcohol abuse. And while I know that it's not exactly true to life, it feels somehow more realistic to me. It all feels like "normal" teenage angst instead of something that's trying to shock its audience. Although, I don't think any kid would google "am I gay?", but it's still really cute. I think it would be really hard to be a teenager right now (for SO.MANY.REASONS), for me, because I never had any inclination to define myself or my sexuality, and that is so much a part of being young nowadays - everyone has to identify as something (I'm still not sure why?). The cast is ADORABLE. The only reason this show was on my radar is because there's a lot of twitter talk about how "Kit Connor went to the Taron Egerton school of acting" (actual tweet from someone), which makes sense because he played the kid version of Elton John in Rocketman, but he does have this charm to him that is similar to Taron (that is obviously a compliment of the highest order coming from me). But everyone is really perfectly cast in this. Especially Olivia Colman as his supportive mom. I hope this gets a season two - it's based on some comics and I know there is more to their story and I WANT TO SEE IT. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Sing 2 - Please excuse this upcoming rant about my love, Taron Egerton. He is, without a doubt, the Love of My Life (I'm kidding! Maybe...). And he is super, duper extra fucking hot, but...he also has, like, the dreamiest voice in the world. I watched the first Sing movie because I got stuck in a YouTube hole of videos of him singing in interviews, and I was not disappointed. He has such a great voice for animation. There's something about his accent, too. It's Welsh, obviously, but I've listened to others with Welsh accents and it doesn't hit me the same way (I also remember being surprised by his actual accent - I assumed he just sounded like Eggsy sounds. I truly thought Matthew Vaughn lucked out by finding this kid off the streets who is hot, charming and could act. But no, he's like a trained actor. Which is funny because when I was upset that he didn't get the Oscar nomination for Rocketman (a literal travesty), my bf said "well, if you think about it, he really should have gotten an Oscar nomination for Kingsman because he's a performer naturally, like Elton, but he's nothing like Eggsy". Makes you think, right?). Anyway, my point is that this movie is worth sitting through just to hear his voice. Johnny is obviously the best and least annoying character (and I would definitely watch a spin-off!!! Make it happen Illumination). I've been listening to the soundtrack since it was released back in December - just Taron's two songs, really, but he's featured in a lot of the group songs too. "A Sky Full of Stars" is so good, and faaaaaarrrr better than the original (and I say that as a Coldplay fan, but he destroyed them for real). I liked the drumming, and his angry singing at the end, but I didn't know the context. And let me tell you, the context almost made me cry! It makes the song even better, which I didn't think possible. I'm a bit disappointed that "There's Nothing Holding Me Back" is a duo on the soundtrack featuring Taron and Tori Kelly. She's lovely, but her voice is too screechy for me and she's not even in the scene in the movie?! Doesn't make any sense. I think they underestimated Taron's popularity, which is weird considering how popular his Sing version of "I'm Still Standing" is (it has 145 million listens on Spotify!!!). "A Sky Full of Stars" has over 23 million listens on Spotify and the next song from the soundtrack is only at 1/2 of that. If they gave us the film version of "There's Nothing Holding Me Back" it would definitely be a bigger hit. I don't have a whole lot to say about the rest of the movie - it's very similar to the first. Just super cute, but not much substance. The whole thing felt like it was trying to make Bono cool to a younger audience, which is...weird. The main message was about overcoming your fears, but the whole Bono thing is really shoved in your face. Again, Johnny has the best storyline because it's not just about overcoming your fears/learning new things, but it's also about doing it your own way (and not putting up with bullies). Also, I cheered when his bank robbing gangster father shows up to help them (sorry, but it's so funny that this is part of a kids movie). 

2. The Batman - Honestly, this was such a chore to sit through. Just absolutely pointless. It's not all bad - there are some stunning shots and overall, it's very well-made. But I'm just getting exhausted by the barrage of "well-made" movies that are just that. Like, where is the excitement? The innovation? The surprises? Something? I have a friend who is someone I would describe as "the ultimate Batman fan" (he is even covered in Batman tattoos - like head to toe) and he LOVED this. And, for that, I'm happy. If it satisfied core fans, then that's great! I'm not sure why he loved it yet because the last time I saw him I had not seen this yet (he was so upset when he ran up to me and was like "YES someone I can talk to about The Batman! And I felt so bad to tell him I hadn't seen it. I'm just not in any rush to see movies nowadays). But he, himself, is someone I would describe as a bit "emo", so I feel like he probably felt more of a connection to this iteration of the character, someone who is more of a depressed recluse than a playboy billionaire. For me, though, it just feels so overdone. As beautiful as the score is, I just WILL NEVER get behind a giant blockbuster movie using a Nirvana song as its core theme. I get the parallel that Matt Reeves was trying to point out (Cobain's struggle with fame, etc.), but NO THANKS I HATE IT. Hearing it over and over again, made me want to burn this movie to the ground. Sad emo Batman is fine, but I didn't find the story particularly any darker than previous Batman movies/shows. The Riddler is obviously darker, but also kind of boring - I feel like he blends in with every other villain now. I just feel like the film focuses more on a "vibe" than on story and character development, and in the end I won't remember a thing about. I like Robert Pattinson, BUT, he's NOT good when the dialogue is this bad. There are actors that can make cheesy dialogue work and there actors who can't. He can't (which is why he was sooooo awful in the Twilight films). I like Zoe Kravitz, too. But, again, nothing memorable. The Penguin transformation is legitimately insane, but seems unnecessary. Sorry, but if Colin Farrell is in your movie, I would like for him to look like Colin Farrell (and talk like Colin Farrell). The tiny snippet of Joker was intriguing (and I watched the longer clip that was circulating online). I wish they would focus on literally any other villain, but...I guess we'll see what the sequel brings. 

3. The Weekend Away - This is the worst movie I've seen since last year's False Positive. It's poorly made, the acting is dreadful, and it's the dumbest plot I've seen in a while. I watched this for Leighton Meester - I thought she was someone who would just always be her Gossip Girl character (I still quote her "leggings are NOT pants" tirade to this day), but she surprised me in the show Single Parents (a show that I really liked, but was cancelled too quickly). She has great comedic timing and she's really charming. I also like her for more personal reasons - she genuinely seems like a good person who understand her privilege (and she didn't come from a "normal" life - her mom was in prison when she gave birth to her), plus she is married to Adam Brody and he is a doll. I'm a fan of both of them. Unfortunately, this movie does not do her any favors. It's not really her fault, but it's hard not to blame the lead actress. Everything about her situation seems *off*, like huge red flags flying everywhere - the way her husband reacts to her best friend in the background of her video call, the overly friendly taxi driver, the best friend insisting they talk to two complete strangers, the creepy building manager guy, the cop who tells her he can't help her. It was very easy to guess the outcome (although there are two outcomes - the first one is a little unexpected but mostly because it doesn't make sense, but the second one is the one that I guessed from the beginning). 

4. Needle in a Timestack - The sci-fi premise for this is excellent. It's too bad the final product is such a drag. The cast is (mostly) fantastic - Cynthia Erivo is sure to be a household name soon enough (especially after Wicked comes out), Freida Pinto, and ORLANDO BLOOM! It's been SO LONG! Since the last PotC movie, I think? I've missed him and he looks so fucking GOOD in this. I sort of hate how much better men look as they age. It's really annoying that they peak (looks-wise) between 40-50. I'm not the biggest fan of Leslie Odom Jr., but mostly because of his singing voice. I actually don't mind him in this at all, as the acting is probably one of the few redeeming qualities of the film. And like I said, the premise is really, really cool. Set in "the near future", it's about if time travel really existed and how it would be used. And they nailed it! Used almost exclusively as something to entertain the wealthy, while the rest of the world are forced to suffer the consequences of some rich person's "time jaunting". There are some great ideas within the story about relationships, destiny, free will, the circular nature of life and love (and I really love the idea that "one relationship negates other possibilities"), it's just such a shame that it's so damn boring. The characters have very little charisma or depth at all, so I don't really care about the outcome. And I don't even think the story cares about the outcome? The characters just feel like props within this really cool idea. 

5. Licorice Pizza - Well, this is a big NOPE from me. PTA has made two of my favorite movies (There Will Be Blood and The Master. I also loved Inherent Vice), but I haven't always been a fan. In fact, I absolutely loathed Magnolia and Boogie Nights when I watched them (as a teenager - I do intend to watch them again as an adult, but who know when that will actually happen). My biggest issue with this film is the characters - just absolutely annoying and completely unrelatable. And there is just no way I would ever root for a 15 year old KID to end up with a 25 year old woman (who might actually be 28? Was that a mistake in the dialogue or did she lie?). I saw some people making a big deal about it, but then others being like "they are overreacting", which led me to believe that the couple in question were one of those grey areas where one is 15 and the other is 19. BUT IT'S NOT GREY. She is an adult taking advantage and manipulating a CHILD. What the fuck is wrong with people who think this is ok? The movie, itself, doesn't really cross any lines - there's nothing sexual about their relationship (other than a quick "here's what my tits look like" and the kiss at the end), but I feel like the audience is supposed to root for them and that's troublesome. But I don't necessarily have to root for a couple to like a movie, or appreciate the story, this just does nothing for me though. I think it would have been a stronger story if they focused on this woman's stunted maturity - maybe explained why she feels comfortable hanging out with 15 year olds (she does call herself out at one point - I believe she calls herself "weird" or something to that effect) and also still lives with her parents (which I know was a more common thing for women to do at that point in time - living with your parents until you're married), and then gets super jealous when he starts showing interest in someone his own age. I actually ended up hating her completely. She has zero redeeming qualities. I'm also not really sure about Alana Haim as an actress. It's hard to tell because with this because I hate the character, but I think a lot of that has to do with the writing. I'll certainly give her another chance. I'm also not the biggest fan of Cooper Hoffman in this role - I think he's supposed to be more charming than he is, instead he comes off incredibly obnoxious. I also just think the movie is super boring. I found myself distracted by other things, and then looking back at the screen only to have them running. Just lots of running. Every time I looked up they were fucking running again. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Spider-Man: No Way Home - Uhhhhhh...this movie is...a....mess?! I know Marvel movies get over-praised, but I'm genuinely surprised at the universal love for this movie? It's not even close to being anything above average. And did I mention that it's a total mess? First, I guess my expectations for the movie were obviously high - and I *think* I might have been the last person on the planet to watch it. But I don't even think it's the best of the Marvel Spider-Man movies, let alone up there in the top of the MCU overall. Second, I was under the impression that it was a Spider-Man movie that would introduce the multi-verse at some point, but for, like, a quick fun moment, not that it was the entire plot. I sat there for 2 hours and 28 minutes wondering when the actual plot was going to...start. Nothing about this plot makes any sort of sense. And I know that's a dumb thing to complain about when we are talking about a comic book movie that is introducing a multi-verse, but they could still attempt to explain things that are non-sensical - like how the villains arrive in this new universe only remembering their last moment before they die, but don't question why they are all...older? But the biggest, most ridiculous part is that why on Earth does he care if these villains die? I realize that he is sympathetic towards them because their abilities have taken over and made them evil, but...but...isn't that the point of it all? He. himself, got abilities and used them for good because HE'S A GOOD PERSON, while others will use their super powers for their own gain, or in true supervillain form, to take over the world. They've all killed so many people! In other universes, but also this one! Does he think all of those people on the bridge where Doc Ock appears in the beginning...lived?? It was a major disaster! And what are they supposed to do now? Just go back to their own universe and live a normal life? Wouldn't they just repeat what they did in order to regain their powers and do it all over again because THAT'S THEIR NATURE?! Aside from the asinine plot, the appearance of all of these characters is fun. Briefly fun. But they overstay their welcome. Especially the other Spider-Men. When the three of them "riff" for what feels like 5 hours, I genuinely felt my whole body tense up. Like, what the fuck am I watching, it's so painful. Please make them stop talking. Toby Maguire looks exhausted for most of it and Andrew Garfield is so...dopey? I remember thinking he had a tough time with cheesy dialogue in the previous movies. He's kind of too goofy to make it work. Having them appear in this is definitely a WIN for Tom Holland because he out-acted them in every moment. I don't even know what else to say without seeming like I'm nitpicking. It's just...not great. Some tighter editing, a major overhaul of the dialogue and a...sensible plot would have helped it immensely. 

2. The Bubble - I'm hopeful that this will be the worst movie I see this year. Because this is a bad movie, and I cringe at the thought of watching something worse than this (actually, now that I think about it, I already have...will probably be in my next post). It's pretty insane that all of these talented people got together and made such an unfunny, annoying movie. I saw someone describe it as the film version of that viral Imagine video that celebrities did, and that is a great way to describe this. It's basically a movie about making a movie "in a bubble" because of the pandemic. I think it's super weird that film/television production still continued during lockdowns, but I guess the revenue is worth it? But I absolutely do not feel bad for actors being forced into a bubble in order to continue working (because most do not actually have to work - they are financially secure), so they are still choosing to be in this situation. Anyway, again, the cast is great - Karen Gillan, Pedro Pascal, Leslie Mann and her daughter Iris Apatow (nothing makes me feel older than seeing celebrity children as full-grown adults. Her and Maude are killing the acting game, though). And as annoying and unfunny 95% of this movie is, there are about a dozen really, really funny lines. Some of my favorites: "Don't say 'waitress' in that tone. She risks her life to feed people!", "Do you know how to fly that thing?" "Yeah, I took 8 lessons!" and the entire scene with *cameo spoiler alert* James McAvoy (I seriously can't believe he agreed to this, but obviously my favorite part). He plays himself, and the Professor X jab had me rolling, "I play a lot of different characters!", and the "I don't think you're allowed to run during a pandemic" (might be my favorite line of the whole thing because I literally yell at people all day long for running up and down our stairs at work - "NO RUNNING!!!", and once we re-opened after lockdown I started adding "NO RUNNING WE'RE IN A PANDEMIC!!" because I thought it was funny. I make myself laugh all the time. I'm hilarious, actually). I also laughed that when they pronounced Gal Gadot's name wrong (although I don't even know if they did it on purpose or if they actually think it's pronounced like Waiting for Godot). I did not laugh at the TikTok scenes. It's unbearable. I appreciate that Judd Apatow made this only two hours long (his films are usually far longer, even though it's always unnecessary), but this could have easily been a 90 minute movie and it would have been far better. 

3. French Exit - Michelle Pfeiffer and Lucas Hedges as mother and son?! Count me in! I hadn't really heard much about this - I'm pretty sure I only saw the poster briefly and added it to my list (I mean, there's even a cat on the poster. It's like it was specifically designed for me!). Unfortunately, it is very boring. It's not a bad movie, but it just moves very slowly and they do very little to make me care about any of the characters. They are all just very inaccessible (it's basically about rich, eccentric people, but I guess we are supposed to care because she has no money left?? But she does have a rich friend who is like "oh just use my fancy apartment in Paris, I don't need it", so why exactly should I feel bad for her? And why don't I have any friends with empty apartments in Paris? I'm doing life wrong, I think.). The cat is actually very important to the story, as she believes that her dead husband's soul is inside the cat (it's basically the episode of Friends in which Phoebe thinks the stray cat is her mom). But they never really go far enough with this, instead it feels like an afterthought. There's not much else to say. Oh wait, Danielle Macdonald is in this, too! I just recently talked about how much I enjoy her in my post about The Tourist. She's not in this much, but her scenes definitely standout. Oh, wait, one more thing - the scene when she starts the fire at the restaurant is hilarious. Completely unrealistic, but it makes for a cool, memorable scene nonetheless. 

4. Scream (2022) - I know that this received some pretty positive reviews, but I didn't really take that too seriously. I thought enough was enough with the Scream movies, especially after the disaster of the 4th film (which I've seen a lot of retroactive love for?! What?! It was terrible and the killer was ridiculous). But I liked this! Like, a lot! The cast is incredible - obviously there's the original trio of Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette, but the new cast is just so perfect. It definitely feels "next generation", but not in an obvious way (like the 4th one). I adore Jack Quaid, like if I were a few years younger I would have the HUGEST crush on him (he was born in the 90s so it's a NO for me now). I remember when I saw him in The Boys, and I couldn't figure out why he seemed so familiar - so it made sense that he's Dennis Quaid's son, but I only recently connected that MEG RYAN is his mom!!! But also, the real reason he seems so familiar is that he reminds me of Pacey from Dawson's Creek (not Joshua Jackson. Pacey. There's a difference. Trust me.). Jenna Ortega is a STAR. She stood out for me in You, and I'm so happy that she's getting all these huge roles. It's weird that being the first victim in a Scream movie is such a big deal, but it definitely is (also, I thought her name was JennY Ortega and I'm pretty sure I referenced her as that for the past year or so. Oooops). Melissa Barrera was one of the very few good things about In the Heights. Dylan Minnette continues to prove himself as a strong young actor (he was really good most recently in The Dropout). But perhaps my favorite of the new cast is Mikey Madison because she is so brilliant on Better Things and I want all three of those kids to go on to other great projects. Aside from the cast, I think it's perfectly done to keep it relevant - still sticking to the whole "meta" thing by discussing it as a "requel" (a reboot/sequel) that seems so popular now. *slight spoiler ahead* I do think it's a little too obvious as to who the killer is because they keep discussing "revisiting" the original movie. I guessed it from the very first moment they are introduced and the movie did nothing to make me think otherwise, which is a little disappointed but also better than making the killer completely ridiculous like the 4th one did. 

5. I Want You Back - I thought this would be a cute rom-com, and it is. But it's also...not very memorable or funny. It's just cute. I like a lot of the cast - Charlie Day is just so frickin' funny. I really liked Gina Rodriguez in Kajillionaire (that's the only thing I've seen her in). Jenny Slate can be really, really funny (but also sometimes annoying). AND Manny from The Good Place! He was my favorite character. The only downside of the cast is Clint Eastwood's son. He always comes off as such a douchebag. He's attractive, for sure, but I would most definitely pick Charlie Day over Clint Eastwood Junior (I don't actually know his name? Scott, maybe? Doesn't sound right...). Charlie has more charisma in his pinkie than Junior has in his whole body. I was enjoying it, but I paused it around the 50 minute mark thinking it was over soon, only to realize there was a whole HOUR left. Romcoms should NOT be 2 hours; 100 minutes max for stories like this, unless they are top-notch 5 star movies (which don't really exist). Also, I SCREAMED when Ben McKenzie walks through the door. I definitely was not expecting that to happen - mostly because BEN MCKENZIE AKA RYAN ATWOOD AKA MY SOULMATE is now playing the father of a 17 year old girl. FUCK MY LIFE. Just kill me now. I did laugh though. And this movie definitely needed some more laugh out loud moments. I only remember one LOL moment and that's when Junior/Scott(?) confuses the idiom "get back on the horse" as "get back on the whores". The most disturbing part of the whole movie is that they use the trunk at the end of their bed for....dirty laundry??? That's supposed to be used for storage (like extra sheets and pillowcases, etc.) not your laundry? How do they get it from there...to the washing machine?? It's not something that can be easily carried so they would have to transfer it to a different basket anyway? It just doesn't make any logical sense. I spent way too much time thinking about this, I know. 

3 Thoughts on The Lost City

1. The Action-Adventure Romantic Comedy - I whole-heartedly adore this movie. I feel like there's been a little bit of a resurgence of the action-adventure genre recently with the Jumanji movies, Jungle Cruise, the Jurassic World movies, and even Uncharted. So it's definitely capitalizing on an upward trend, but I feel like this movie really gets a big aspect of the older action-adventure movies, and that is that it mixes up the genres by adding the rom-com within the story. The closest comparison I can think of is Romancing the Stone (and that's from 1984). Other films have done it, of course, like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but I don't think any of them have balanced all of the genre mixing so well. I genuinely laughed so hard at multiple parts of this movie, I rooted for the main characters to get-together in the end, and I had SO MUCH FUN with the adventure that they are forced to embark on. For me, going to the movie theater has become a thing of the past - and this started waaaaay before the pandemic. There are several reasons for this (theaters are too crowded, people are inconsiderate, easier to just wait for comfortable home viewing), and in 2020, I made it my goal to go to the movies more (LOL that didn't work out well, obviously) because I did start to miss it. Before the pandemic really hit, I watched two movies in the theater - Bombshell and The Rhythm Section and neither were very inspiring. After Covid hit, I went to the movies once to see Wonder Woman 1984 (in a private theater), and even that was...meh. It did not make me long for the movie theater experience at all. I would still rather just watch movies at home! But this movie might have finally changed things for me. I sat there in awe of the spectacle, enjoyed laughing along with the other audience members, and just being taken out of the real world for a few hours. Total bliss. 

2. The Movie Star(s) - Another thought that sprang to my mind while watching this movie is this idea of "The Movie Star". There's definitely a disintegration of the idea of movie stardom - it rarely exists nowadays. And I'm not talking about actual acting chops either - just that magnetic charisma that very few people have that makes you gravitate towards their every move. I've always loved Sandra Bullock (I'm not exaggerating in the slightest - she was my role model as a teenager and well into my 20s. I bought her every magazine cover, saw every single one of her movies, recorded her television appearances (ON A VCR!) - she was everything to me), but this is the first time in a while that I sat there watching a film, thinking, "this is a movie star". She's peak Sandra Bullock in this - hilariously funny, genuinely charming, intelligent and witty, and she has a way of making you love her even when she's being a little bit of a bitch. She just commands the screen. It's also kind of amazing (and inspiring?) to watch Sandra, at 57 years old, star in a movie like this and still be that hot. And she plays off of Channing Tatum so well - the chemistry is instant (the age difference doesn't even bother me, but probably because I'm so used to seeing it the other way, this is actually kind of refreshing). I'm a fan of Channing, and I think he should stick to comedy (or comedy/action movies like this). He's not the best actor, but he's actually hilarious. The way he fumbles through some of the action sequences had me in tears from laughing (his failure during the fight scenes are just so good). Plus, the scene with them dancing is soooo fucking sexy. I don't think he's hot (just not my type, he's obviously attractive), but damn, sometimes I forget that he's a professional dancer, but I LOVE when I'm reminded of it. The other big "Movie Star" I should mention is, obviously, Brad Pitt. His appearance is more of a glorified cameo, but it is absolute perfection. I knew he wasn't in it for long, but it's quite shocking what happens to him - my mom was very upset about it, but I thought it was hilarious. 

3. The Supporting Cast - I love what Daniel Radcliffe is doing with his career lately. Just really big risks in which he gets to be super weird (Miracle Workers is a joy to watch mostly because of him, and Steve Buscemi, of course). He plays "the bad guy" in this, but the audience is never really led to hate him. He's quite funny, and charming in a way, and also super weird and a little creepy. I also really like the girl from Together Together! I liked her in that movie so much, so it was nice to see her in something else (especially such a big movie like this) so quickly. Her name is Patti Harrison, btw. Da'Vine Joy Randolph is a hilarious side-kick too. Just overall a perfect cast.