Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Mortdecai - Obviously, after seeing the trailer, and reading the reviews, I wasn't expecting a good movie. At all. However, it does have an intriguing cast. I know everyone hates Johnny Depp now (not me; never will), and I know he hasn't picked the best roles lately (although, I haven't seen Black Mass yet, I've heard it's a "return to form" role). He's still entertaining to watch; he definitely dissolves himself into every role, whether it's good or bad, so I don't really agree with the criticism that he's "given up" and "only in it for the paycheck now". I thought that him and Gwyneth Paltrow were an odd pairing, but it could work (it didn't), and the supporting cast is awesome (Paul Bettany, JEFF GOLDBLUM, Ewan McGregor). The movie is sort of fascinating, to be honest, it reminded me of those cheesy 90s movies like Once Upon a Crime (and fuck yes, I LOVE that movie in all of its cheesy glory); it just wasn't funny enough to really hit those levels of "so bad it's good". The running joke was about his mustache and it wasn't funny, at all. The plot was all over the place, and it didn't seem to make sense, although, I was pretty bored so I found it hard to pay attention to any of the intricate details that may have helped the plot. Bettany was, by far, the best part of the movie; he has some great reaction scenes. Overall, though, it's catastrophically awful, and even worse, a gigantic waste of money.

2. Dope - I adore this movie. It's so much fun. I think the biggest reason that I enjoyed it is because it reminded me of the movie Go, and that was one of my favorite movies when I was a teenager. It's completely different in tone and structure, but it has that same plot points and pace. Someone recommended this movie to me, based on my love of independent movies; I didn't really know anything about it and I really haven't heard many people talking about it, which is a shame. The cast is excellent. The dialogue is smart and hilarious (my favorite scene is when he is arguing against the metaphor that is being thrown at him - "I wouldn't order a Macklemore CD. That wouldn't happen."). My favorite aspect of the movie, though, is the story of this kid, a minority, who lives in a bad neighborhood, and is raised by a single mother, absolutely refuses to use it as an excuse, and furthermore, he refuses to use it to gain sympathy on his Harvard application. He deserves to go to Harvard because of his hard work and determination; not because of his "story". The second best part is the music. At first, it's a little jarring because he's listening to 90s hip-hop (on cassette), and dressed like DJ Jazzy Jeff, but then the dialogue refers to bit coins (which I still don't understand) and Justin Bieber (ditto). It's like he's the hipster of hip-hop. He talks about Summertime as a "classic" song, which is true and is in clear contrast of "new" hip-hop, especially during the club scene when that God-awful song is playing (it literally just repeated "these girls let it pour" over and over again. What does that even mean?? Wait...I don't want to know.). The third best part of the movie is that it is memorable. I will remember the scene when he is being seduced by the beautiful, naked stranger who questionably offers to take his virginity because it is such a cliched, unrealistic scene that is in every teenage coming of age story, and then it taints the whole thing in the grossest way possible (I won't spoil it, but it's definitely memorable). I will also remember the last line of his Harvard essay (which should have been the last line of the movie, but they ruined it with an unnecessary scene), because it stings so much. And lastly, I will remember the credits because I could not stop watching him dance; it made me smile literally from beginning to end.

3. Infinitely Polar Bear - I think I built my expectations up too high for this movie. I figured it had an interesting subject matter, a bipolar man trying to care for his two daughters, and it had one of my favorite actors (favorite might be too strong of a word, but certainly one of the most likeable actors), Mark Ruffalo. The movie is just ok. There really isn't any depth to it, which is a shame because it could have definitely dug a little deeper into this complicated mental illness. It did show the ups and deep downs that this character suffered through. It did show the effect that his illness has on his family; and that, in some small cases, domestic abuse isn't always black and white (trust me, this is hard for me to admit, but there ARE certain cases where mental illness is a huge factor, and if you love someone who suffers from one, and you know they love you, etc...). I think they did a good job of showing that this person would never truly mean to be hurtful; he loves his kids (even when he is screaming at them and giving them the finger. I honestly laughed so hard). I didn't really like the wife's story. I don't know; I understand her motivation to give her kids a better future, but you have to consider their "present" before their "future" and leaving them in the hands of a mentally ill person while you go to school in another state doesn't seem like the best idea. I just question the whole plot (he comes from a very wealthy family, I highly doubt they would let those children starve). I think the bigger picture is just too problematic, but there are some nice small moments that work really well.

4. The Walk - I think if you've never seen the documentary Man on Wire, then this movie might be of interest (but I highly recommend you watch the doc instead of this movie). It's such a well-known story, especially in NY, the movie just doesn't play out with any sort of excitement. Visually though, it is better than I was expecting. The ads and trailer looked horrendously fake, but it works somehow as a whole film. I love JGL, and I don't think I've said anything bad about his acting, ever, but there is a first for everything. The accent? ATROCIOUS. The movie was difficult to watch because of it. However, I definitely understand why he was cast. He is this type of entertainer - one who is passionate and determined (if you want proof, search his opening number of his SNL episode.). The movie tries to tell the story of "why", but it doesn't actually answer this question, other than this man wanted to achieve the impossible. I guess it must be an amazing feeling, to defy the odds, it would make one feel invincible. But, honestly, I still don't get it.

5. Sicario - I was really looking forward to this movie. I was quite upset with myself for not having seen it in the theater, but again, 2015 was a tough year for me (2016 is amazing, so far, FYI). Denis Villeneuve teaming up again with Roger Deakins, is an automatic win. Villeneuve is definitely moving up on my list of favorite directors (Incendies, Prisoners, Enemy are all very solid movies). Plus, a fantastic cast of Emily Blunt, Benicio del Toro, Josh Brolin AND Victor Garber (I know, I know, not many people include Garber when talking about this movie, but I adore him always and forever.). The story seems pretty straight-forward at first, the plot is actually a little bit dull in the beginning, then the middle bit is a little hard to follow, but THEN the last 40 minutes are spectacular. I should have expected a twisty story, considering Villeneuve's previous films, but I didn't really know where the story was going. There is a very shocking scene, that I think most filmmakers would shy away from, which is exciting (and stomach-turning at the same time). I like that it just ended without any particular resolution, but instead, an impending sense of doom. Overall, I wish the whole movie was as intense as the third act, but it's still one of the best movies of the year (but probably my least favorite of Villeneuve's films).

4 Thoughts on The Golden Globes

1. The Host - I really don't care what anyone says, I think Ricky Gervais is hilarious. And mean. Very mean. I'm considered a nice person (and I'm often criticized as being "too nice", to which I say fuck right off. I'll be as nice as I wish.), but I often roll my eyes at celebrity hi-jinks. I feel like Ricky calls out the bullshit. A perfect example is Jennifer Lawrence and her "essay on feminism". As a feminist, I will admit that it's absolutely necessary for all women to speak out about the injustices of the pay gap that still exists. HOWEVER, when you're throwing numbers around that exist in the millions, the message gets lost. It's absolutely ridiculous for someone making 52 million in one year to complain about any type of money issue. If she wants to make an impact, then I suggest she donate to the millions of women who live in poverty because they can't afford to pay a babysitter, and therefore have a hard time maintaining a job. I'm on one of my epic sidetracks now, but my point is that it's hypocrisy at its best (worst?). Ricky making fun of her is essential, because some of these celebrities live in clouds - and sadly they are the ones with enough money to make an impact. I feel a similar way about the Caitlyn Jenner fiasco. Sure, transgender role model, but she KILLED SOMEONE, so human role model? Um. No. I love that Ricky pointed out that she "didn't do a lot for women drivers" (and is he really getting flack for saying that? That was in no way criticism of the transgender community, but a comment on how that family is so popular that they are essentially above the law. If anything it's a joke about female drivers, which isn't a new joke, and it's true. Women are shitty drivers.). So, needless to say, I enjoyed Ricky as the host. Keep those "mean" jokes coming, Ricky.

2. The Show - Last year, I watched the Golden Globes on an hour delay so that I could fast-forward through all the boring parts. This year, I didn't even watch it until the next day. It just doesn't feel like an important awards show anymore. I know, I know "important" and "awards show" doesn't really go together. But, as someone who loves movies and television, I love to see talent awarded, and I used to love the Golden Globes. I appreciated that it didn't really take itself too seriously. Now, though, the Hollywood Foreign Press just doesn't seem to be inline with my opinions (doesn't make them wrong, but I mean, they did nominate The Tourist. Nope, still not over it). I like that the show doesn't really have any sketches or gimmicks. It's just a host and presenters. You think, it would move pretty quickly, but nope. The main reason for this is that almost all of the presenters obnoxiously tried to steal as much stage time as possible. They need to limit who gets to do elaborate jokes, and they should do a better job of approving said jokes, because Jonah Hill dressed as the bear from The Revenant is a severe waste of precious minutes. And, what the fuck was with Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence? Why did they start talking all whiny like that? Was that supposed to be funny? Sexy? It wasn't either. The only presenters I enjoyed were Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling (because duh), and Amber Heard and Jaimie Alexander (also, because duh). There really wasn't even any good speeches, either. The worst (by far) was Quentin Tarantino accepting the award for Ennio Morricone, and he made the win all about himself (that's soo Quentin). Even Denzyl Washington seemed clueless on stage accepting an award that he knew he was going to win. Oh, I did like Taraji P. Henson's "I've waited 20 years for this" shout at the orchestra. Those poor people, they tried their best to play off every single winner to no avail. They even (had the nerve) to play off Leo. That's brave, orchestra people. I think the best part of the show was all of the audience reactions that were caught on camera. I know Leo's face when Lady Gaga bumped his arm is the one that became instantly popular, but the one that made me laugh was Alan Cumming's reaction after the banter between Ricky and Mel Gibson. Plus, it took balls to pan the camera to Harvey Weinstein when Ricky was talking about producers paying for awards. I mean, it's a known thing, but still...He's right there! And he owns Hollywood. I wouldn't mess with him.

3. The Winners - 2015 wasn't one of my favorite years in film. The Big Short is a landslide for my favorite movie of the year, so I would have liked to see it win for Bale and for Comedy. And speaking of comedy, let's get this out of the way, because it was continuously joked about - The Martian is not a comedy in any way, shape, or form. I wouldn't categorize The Big Short as one, either, but at least, there are very funny moments. I didn't laugh at all during The Martian, although I did hear of people laughing (was it the disco thing? Because that was just the same joke, over and over again. How is that funny?). I think the whole reason that I ever liked the Golden Globes is because they separated comedy and drama. But, it defeats the purpose, if they are just going to fill the comedy category with dramatic movies. I can't really comment much further on the movie side of the awards, but the television side was straight up crazy. First, how did no-one tell me that one of my favorite actors, Gael Garcia Bernal, is in a television show? HOW?! (Also, how do I watch it? I loathe Amazon. Is there another way?). Second, how did Mr. Robot not win? WAIT, WHAT?! They actually awarded the best show of the season?! HOLY SHIT. Kudos, Hollywood Foreign Press, you may have gained my respect again. Another one they got correct is Maura Tierney. I've been a huge fan of hers since NewsRadio, and of course, E.R., and I am in complete shock that this is her first Golden Globe nomination (and win). She definitely stole the show in season 2 of The Affair. It made me sad that someone like Rachel Bloom (who might be very talented, I don't know), can win such an award so quickly (off of a 1/2 season of a show that not many people watch), while it took Tierney 20 years? It kind of puts the whole ridiculousness into perspective. Third, how did Ben Mendelsohn not win? I love Christian Slater, but Ben deserved the win. Plus, Lady Gaga is alright on AHS. She's better than I thought she was going to be, but award-worthy? No fucking way. Overall, though, I can't complain about a show that gives an award to Leonardo DiCaprio AND Kate Winslet (Titanic fangirl forever).

4. The Fashion - There were some really beautiful dresses this year. My favorite is surprising because I usually like more subtle dresses, but I thought Kirsten Dunst looked absolutely stunning. The shape of that dress is just perfect. I think it's impossible to look at her in that dress and not say out-loud "DAMN, GIRL". I also liked Brie Larson's goddess dress and Alicia Vikander's white dress, which are both things that I usually don't like. I really didn't see any stand-out dresses that I didn't like, and I don't really care to look through the sea of pictures to find one. The guys were all pretty handsome, too. Brad Pitt looked like late 90s/early 00s Brad Pitt (my favorite Brad Pitt). And Christian Slater! I never really thought he was hot like most girls my age, but now, at 46(!), he's really handsome. Orlando Bloom looked real good, too. I didn't realize he was coming back to the POTC saga. I feel like he's kind of disappeared. The worst was Channing Tatum's hair, which was much more disturbing that Jonah Hill as the bear from The Revenant. 

3 Thoughts on The Big Short

1. The cast - The main (i.e. ONLY) reason I wanted to see this movie is because of the cast. I will see anything with Christian Bale. ANYTHING. He's always fascinating. In this, he plays Michael Burry, a socially awkward genius with a glass eye and a penchant for heavy metal music. And like always, he's the best part of the movie. He's one of the few actors who gets completely lost in a role; I never see Christian Bale in any of his characters, and as much as I love the other actors in this movie, I can't say that about any of them. Brad Pitt is always Brad Pitt in some way. Ryan Gosling is always Ryan Gosling. Ryan has the most charismatic role, which is why several reviews cite his performance as the highlight, but the reality is, he just has the best lines. To me, the highlight, aside from Bale, is the supporting cast. Specifically, the trio of Rafe Spall, Hamish Linklater and Jeremy Strong. All are incredible.

2. The story - The part that I wasn't that excited about was the actual story. I'm really not into financial/Wall Street type stories because I don't feel like I ever truly understand what is happening; instead I usually just know when something is "good" or "bad" based on character reactions. I did enjoy the recent movie Margin Call, which had a similar theme, but I will fully admit that I didn't understand every detail. The brilliance of this story is that the filmmakers understand that the general audience probably doesn't "get it", considering that people who do this for a living don't fully "get it". So, they dumb down the financial aspects, use terminology that anyone can understand, and pause the story to explain the plot (more on this in the next section). While I fully understand how this tactic isn't for everyone, it completely worked for me. COMPLETELY. Not only did I enjoy the movie, I learned a lot about what happened during the financial crisis of 07-08. Before this movie, I could tell you that people defaulted on their loans and the big banks went into debt and the government bailed them out; which is essentially what happened, but this movie explained why it happened and how the banks should have been held responsible for their own corruption. It's always amazing to me to see so many people living above their means, not able to afford their mortgage and car payments, and I always blamed them for their own greed, but really it's the banks that are allowing this to happen. If you're giving a loan to someone who has no income and/or proven bad credit history, what do you expect to happen? It's completely fascinating. It's also fascinating that there are people who predicted this housing collapse, and no-one did anything about it. It's interesting that the author of the book (that the movie is based on) also wrote Moneyball, because that movie did a great job of explaining the politics and history behind baseball. The combination of this intelligent story and director Adam McKay (known for comedic movies), is absolutely perfect.

3. The editing - As I said above, the movie uses a lot of different tactics to help the audience follow the story. First, it uses celebrity guests to explain certain situations (my favorite *spoiler* - Margot Robbie in a bubble bath). Yes, this is a little disruptive to the plot. Yes, it's a little too condescending. Yes, it still works, brilliantly. Second, it defines financial terms in the bottom left corner of the screen. Third, it uses different editing and sound techniques for the four main plots/characters. Again, yes, it's disruptive. But I would argue that this is what kept my attention for the entirety of the movie. Each part felt like a different movie, therefore avoiding any dragging plot-lines. I'm actually finding it hard to find a flaw, and trust me I've spent the last 3 days trying. It's by far my favorite movie of 2015 (and yes, I still have a lot to see).

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. - I had really high hopes for this movie. I usually like Guy Ritchie films, with the exception of the Sherlock movies (which are still decent). Snatch is one of my favorite movies ever. Ritchie has a really fun style, not only aesthetically, but with his use of dialogue. It usually movies really quickly, with lots of throwbacks to previous scenes, forcing the audience to pay attention to every detail. I liked the look of this movie from the trailers, it seemed to be Ritchie back in form, but I think the actors fail to sell the dialogue, and therefore, it falls flat. The back and forth banter felt forced and awkward (the accents, although necessary, were a disservice to the pace that the dialogue should have followed). I'm not a big Henry Cavill fan (pretty, but blah), but Armie Hammer and Alicia Vikander have interesting chemistry. It was probably the only thing that kept me entertained through the entirety of the film. Although, I did look at the clock at one point and gave a heavy sigh that I still had a whole hour to get through. The end did pick up, and had some surprising twists and turns, but overall, it's just a very pretty movie, with very pretty people, with very little fun, especially if you compare it to the similarly themed movie, Kingsman: The Secret Service, also from last year.

2. Tangerine - There is always one movie every year that is critically praised to an extreme (currently at a 96% RT rating), that I absolutely loathe (see The Grand Budapest Hotel from last year). This is that movie. I am absolutely baffled as to how anyone enjoyed this movie. I can appreciate the very basic level of enjoying the fact that it's starring characters that are under-served in the film industry, but it's a really annoying movie with annoying characters who basically run around creating drama and yelling at everyone around them. It's literally just two people walking around the dirty streets of LA, screaming. That's it. As I watching in astonishment that something like this can receive critical praise, I started to read about the movie (because anything was better than actually watching it) and I discovered that it's all filmed on an iPhone. So, yes, that's pretty impressive, too. However, creating a film about horrible, conceded, self-absorbed people who YELL AT EVERYONE and create chaos everywhere they go and presenting them as the "funny", is disturbing to me. And if you think I'm exaggerating, watch the scene when they are screaming at each other at the donut shop at the end, in which one of them is holding a child who is screaming out in fear and confusion while the adults around her are fighting. That child's scream was real and I strongly feel everyone involved should be arrested for child endangerment. And if it wasn't real, someone give that kid an Oscar.

3. American Ultra - I'm not a huge fan of Jesse Eisenberg or Kristen Stewart, but I thought this movie looked fitting for both of them and the trailers were pretty interesting. It's a great concept; it's been done before but not really in a stoner setting. I really liked her character - she supports him and loves him, and most importantly, believes in him. She makes a conscious choice to stay with him, even though he tries to push her away. I think it's increasingly hard to find female characters that are like this. The movie is a little silly at times, and not nearly as funny as it should be, but I did enjoy it for the most part. The twists kept me interested and it features an awesome supporting cast - John Leguizamo, Connie Britton, Topher Grace and Tony Hale - all are perfectly cast. It's written by Max Landis, who also wrote Chronicle (which I loved). He seems to be a pretty controversial person on social media recently, but you can't knock the fact that he has a knack for creating something new out of old concepts. I don't really understand the hatred towards him.

4. Ricki and the Flash - My mother begged me to see this with her in the theater, but I refused. It looked absolutely ridiculous and cheesy. The title alone, is off-putting, but then the trailers....ugh...the trailers. I thought for sure it would make my worst list, but good news, it's not awful. It's mediocre, and yes, absolutely ridiculous and cheesy. Meryl Streep will always be praised just for being Meryl Streep, but she's certainly earned her reputation with some stunning performances. I like the choices that she makes, and this is certainly a different role for her. But singing Lady Gaga? No thanks, Meryl. Her daughter, Mamie Gummer, who plays her daughter in this movie, is usually someone I enjoy, but I think they both overdid their roles here. Also, I can't take Rick Springfield seriously in any role except Dr. Drake from General Hospital. I hated the whole feminist aspect of the story. Ricki declares "if I were a man, it would be ok if I left to be a rock star". Um...no. There are plenty of people with abandonment issues because their father left (for whatever reason). Sorry, this is NOT a feminist issue. This is a "you're a shitty parent" issue. Surprisingly, the part that I liked was with the guy that all the girls love from Captain America (Bucky!). I don't actually like him (IT'S CARTER BAIZEN FROM GOSSIP GIRL), but he was super cute in this movie.

5. Tig - Wow. If you are having a shitty day/week/month/year, then I suggest you watch this documentary on comedian Tig Notaro to put some things into perspective. I knew of her because she became famous after her breast cancer diagnosis. She infuses her diagnosis into her stand-up, and to be honest, I was skeptical. Without having seen the sketches, I assumed that she exploits her situation (a situation that millions of women are dealing with, and aren't as fortunate as Tig), to gain fame. After watching this documentary, and absolutely bawling my eyes out, I want to kick myself for assuming the worst in humanity. The cancer diagnosis is actually the third horrific event that happened to Tig in a series of extremely unfortunate events, and it was her breaking point. She never meant to use the diagnosis as a way to gain attention, it just sort of happened that way, because her now infamous routine hit the audience and fellow comedians with a wave of inspiration. The documentary explores this surprising reaction, but also Tig's apprehension to continue talking about it, and also her struggle to follow it. It's incredibly inspirational to see someone who has experienced the worst kinds of pain, pull herself out of depression, determined to discover the joys of life, such as love. As someone who suffered from depression last year, and am proud to say that I survived it, I can't explain in words how much someone like Tig effects my mindset. I'm glad that she shared her story.

Best and Worst Films of 2015

For the past 4 years, I've written my best and worst list on New Years Day, but this year, unfortunately it's a little incomplete. My movie viewing schedule has practically screeched to a halt; partly because television shows have surpassed the quality of most films and partly because 2015 hasn't been the best year for me, which limited my free-time that I usually use to go to the theater. I can't say that I truly loved any movie I've seen this year. I've enjoyed several, but to do a "best of", I feel like I just haven't seen enough. So, here is a list of my top 5 movies of the year, but if you're interested, check back in July when I do an updated list - it will surely be more comprehensive. 

Best: 

1. The Martian

2. Ex Machina

3. Kingsman: The Secret Service

4. Mad Max: Fury Road

5. Jurassic World 

Now, as far as worst films, I've seen a ton of shitty films this year. It's actually hard to narrow it down. 

Worst: 

1. Serena

2. Blackhat

3. She's Funny That Way

4. Chappie

5. Terminator: Genisys

6. Aloha

7. 50 Shades of Grey

8. Unfinished Business

9. The Loft

10. Focus 

3 Thoughts on Secret in Their Eyes

1. The story - First, the answer is no, I have not seen the original. It's been on my list to watch, and I just moved it up to the top because I'm interested to see how it differs (other than the gender swap). I rarely would ever watch a movie that is a remake without watching the original first, but this was the only movie that both my mom and I wanted to see. Oddly, as I started watching it, I remembered that I already knew the story. I read an article about the original, and when it mentions a surprise twist, I couldn't help myself and read what it was. I didn't make the connection until about 1/2 through watching this movie, but luckily, it didn't really ruin it for me. I think that's what makes a great story - when even knowing the twist, it's still interesting. And, this, is a great revenge story.

2. The "secret" - *MAJOR spoilers, obviously* So, the part that I remembered from reading that article is that the mother finds her revenge rather quickly, but can't admit to it (because she would go to prison), so she continues in the "search" to find her daughter's murderer. Think about that. How brilliant is that story? And, it hasn't really been explored before. We've seen revenge stories, but it usually ends at the revenge, but what happens after? We assume, they either go to prison, or they get away with it. But, the psychology behind "they get away with it" and can't tell anyone is really, really interesting. I wish the movie focused on this aspect more, but instead it focuses more on her partner still convinced that he will find the guy. It actually ruins the movie to tell such a strong female-driven story of revenge, through a male perspective. It become more his story; his obsession to get revenge for his partner; his need to be the hero (which is interesting, but not as interesting). Also, there is actually another twist that I didn't know about, which in case you're still reading, I won't spoil for you. It's really great, though.

3. The aftermath - After letting the movie sink in for a few weeks, I'm surprised by the fact that even with such a strong story and strong actors, it's a forgettable movie. My mother kept reminding me of the movie An Eye for an Eye, with Sally Field, and about how that movie really effected her as a mother. I remember that movie so clearly, and I don't see how this one could compare to that impact. Perhaps it was because An Eye for an Eye was more gruesome and displayed the violent manner of the daughter's death more prominently, or perhaps it reveled in the simplicity of the vengeance theme. I don't really know. However, for a movie to have an impact, it needs to be memorable, and Secret in Their Eyes fails at this. The cast gives their all, but I think there is something lacking in the way the story is told. And the chemistry between Chiwetel Ejiofor and Nicole Kidman is non-existent (and, arguably, unnecessary?).

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Paper Towns - I didn't have the highest of hopes for this movie, but I really enjoyed The Fault in Our Stars way more than I was expecting to. It's a movie that stayed with me and has actually helped me overcome a little of my depression (when I'm at my worst, I remind myself that this is in fact NOT my "great and terrible 10" and convince myself that I can survive). This movie, based on the novel by the same author, did not have the same impact. It's mostly forgettable. I was interested to see Cara Delevingne act, since I've heard her name over and over again all year long. I do not understand the fuss. I don't know a nice way of saying this, but she seems incredibly average. She doesn't really fit the part of an "unattainable dream girl". Instead, she just seems like a bitch. The movie gets infinitely better when she leaves, but it's still mediocre, at best. The only part of the movie that I appreciate is the relationship between the 3 boys, because it seems very true to life - they are like the guys in Superbad, but just incredibly boring. Like, you know how the guys in Superbad are supposed to be the dorky outcasts, but of course, the audience wants to hang out with them? This is the opposite. These guys are actually dorky outcasts. So, while I appreciate the "trueness" of it, they are also boring as fuck, so do I really want to watch a movie about them? The answer is a resounding "no". I also feel like the DVD menu is a spoiler, because they are trying to figure out where she went, but the map on the menu is of Upstate NY. ASSHATS.

2. She's Funny That Way - This probably wouldn't have been as painful, if it didn't feature the worst accent of all time predominately through the whole movie. I almost had to turn it off. I already didn't think too highly of Imogen Poots, but man, this movie really made me hate her. Sure, some people from Brooklyn have really thick accents, but it's increasingly rare these days. Plus, I feel like it's better for actors to give hints of an accent, that way they don't sound as ridiculous as she does here. There are other things that bothered me about this movie, too. Like, the main guy, a clear misogynist, defines himself as "sort of a feminist", the "native" New Yorker saying the words "in a New York minute", and the use of a horse-drawn carriage (the people who use those in a city environment are the worst kinds of people - right behind murderers and rapists). I sort of stopped paying attention about 25 minutes in, because it was all just too horrendous, but my attentiveness perked anytime Kathryn Hahn appeared. Sadly, even she couldn't save this movie. It's one of the worst of the year, in my opinion.

3. Tomorrowland - Surprisingly, this movie will not be on my worst list (I've seen it on many others already). I actually really liked it. It's no surprise, considering my love for Damon Lindelof. I am so baffled as to why people shit on him so ferociously (other than apparently not being able to write characters with peripheral vision. Again???Really?? RUN SIDEWAYS FOR FUCK'S SAKE). He has such an imagination; he has more ideas in his pinky finger than most people will have in their entire lifetime. Partnered with Brad Bird, this movie is just one big idea and I think it's beautiful. I admit, I got a little bored in the middle, and I started to lose track of the plot, but it picks up again, and has a wonderful ending. I like that the main character is an optimist (not someone I typically relate to), but I felt like her positivity is inspiring. Instead of just stating all of the problems with the world, she asks "ok, what are we going to do about it?". I'm very much in a complacent process of giving up on this world (it's already turned to shit, nothing I do will change that), but this movie is about finding the ones who haven't given up. And I for one, sure hope they are out there.

4. No Escape - I think everyone knows this movie as "the one where Owen Wilson throws his daughter off the roof". It's really the only thing I knew about this movie (and it is a pretty gasp-worthy moment, that probably shouldn't have been revealed in the trailer, but whatever.). Watching a movie like this is definitely hard, with all that's going on in the world. A political uprising where a large group of people shoot to kill anyone in their path, is incredibly terrifying, and I'm not sure it's what the world needs to see right now. Other than the subject matter, I would say that it's an incredibly watchable movie. It moves really quickly, it's intense, and *spoiler* you know that everything is going to be okay in the end (I mean, really, if you didn't figure out that Brosnan's sole purpose in the film is to be the hero, then I don't think you understand how movies work). The only part that I really disliked was the part where they make the little girl hold the gun. It's so stupid and melodramatic. They would have just killed them instantly, like they did with every single other person in the movie. The saddest part of the whole thing is that this is a solid 3 star movie, nothing more, and yet it almost made my Top 10 of the year list, because this year has been the shittiest (and I'm not one to insist this every year, like some critics, but seriously, 3 star movies should not come close to my Top 10 list).

5. The Gift - I was actually really invested in this movie, because I was expecting an incredible twist. The movie seemed so mediocre, but so many people insisted that it was more, and I foolishly believed them. It's really terrible. And SURPRISE....there is no twist. The structure of the story just reveals a little more with every scene - that's called a plot. FYI: A twist is when you are led to believe one thing, and then something completely different happens. We are never led to believe that her husband is a nice guy - he's set up as an asshole from the first minute of the movie. We are never led to believe that the "creep" is anything other than a creep. We just find out why he is a creep (because the husband is an asshole). THAT'S THE WHOLE MOVIE. I didn't realize that this movie was written and directed by Joel Edgerton, and, as his first feature film, it's not a bad debut. I didn't like it, but I can admit that it's well-made and intriguing. It's just a gigantic let down if you were expecting to be blown away by a twist.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. San Andreas - I love a good ol' natural disaster movie. In the 90s, we had so many good ones - Twister, Armageddon, Deep Impact, Volcano, Dante's Peak (ok..."good" is a relative term). If you enjoyed those movies, then I think you will enjoy San Andreas. It follows the exact same formula, has a fantastically cheesy cast, and spectacular scenes of destruction. I'm not a big fan of The Rock; the only film I found him bearable in was Pain & Gain. I didn't mind him in this, but probably because I really, really like both Carla Gugino and Alexandra Daddario. I've loved Carla Gugino since I was 12 from Son in Law (I have no idea why, but I loved that movie). She was (and still is) one of the most beautiful women in the world. It's a little ridiculous that Daddario is playing her daughter, they are only 15 years apart, but they do sort of look alike. Daddario is on my list of up-and-coming actresses, but right now she has been coasting on her looks too much (I *knew* that conservative buttoned up top was coming off at some point in this movie, and OH LOOK, yup, right before she gets really, really wet). I'm not complaining (she's STUNNING), but I also see a shimmer of talent and I hope she gets the chance to let that shine, as well. She carried her scenes, because the brothers that she shares her scenes with are awful. The one guy (I refuse to learn his name) has a really terrible British accent. The accent isn't even necessary - just because he's a tourist doesn't mean he has to be from The U.K.. He could have just been from small town America (I don't even know if he's American, but he's certainly not British). All of their scenes were pretty repetitive with her just shouting "trust me, my dad will save us", but really she should have yelled "he's the fucking Rock". The earthquake premise is definitely terrifying. I was born in California and spent every summer there until I was 19, so I experienced a few. The one I remember the most is when I was 10, and I was on an airplane (by myself) when it hit. They wouldn't let the plane land, and when they finally did, everything was chaos. It definitely felt like the end of the world to me. I know that a gigantic quake along the San Andreas Fault line is expected in our lifetime, so the movie felt like a possibility. I don't know if it's possible for it to be felt on the East Coast, but you know, dramatic effect and all that. Tsunamis are natural effects of earthquakes, so it seemed a little dumb that they didn't expect one to happen. And to be clear Tsunamis are the scariest of all natural disasters.

2. Southpaw - This movie is exactly what I was expecting. Led by an outstanding performance from Jake Gyllenhaal, it's a predictable comeback story of a boxer who lost everything. I was entertained, for the most part, but I just feel like it's the same story that I've seen so many times before. *spoilers ahead* I knew the wife was going to die (I read it somewhere; someone was complaining that McAdam's role was cut short and I say thank fuck for that because she's awful in this - her dying scene "I'm cold". Jake had to be embarrassed for her.). I figured it would be an accident, though, like a car accident, not that she got shot by a rival boxer's gang. It added some intensity to the last boxing scene, but realistically it's a little too sensationalized, even for boxing. I'm not big on the sport, itself, considering that I am anti-violence, I don't find it appealing to watch people beat the shit out of each other. I watch violent movies (and enjoy them), but hopefully I don't have to remind you that movies aren't real. I understand, though, how someone who has lived a rough life, can use boxing as a form of therapy, and an outlet for their anger and grief. So, it's not something that I think shouldn't exist, I just don't want to see it. Does that make sense? Anyway, I think this movie is worth watching for Gyllenhaal's performance alone. It's my favorite performance of the year, so far.

3. Inside Out - It's official, I'm dead inside. I really don't want to shit on a movie that is this universally praised (which is why I usually keep my mouth shut when people talk about the Toy Story movies), so I will just focus on the main thing that bothered me, which is the message that it is presenting. It's incredibly confused, and as someone who suffers from depression, it is dangerous. Now, to me, this movie is about the emotion that is "sadness" NOT depression. Yet, every review that I read is about how this movie tackles depression. At first, I would agree with reviewers, the movie is about the chemicals in your brain, and about what happens when those chemicals suddenly stop working correctly (chaos reigns). However, the "lesson" is that sadness is a basic, normal part of a healthy brain and sometimes we need to let it in the driver's seat. That is, indeed, a great message. This little girl has plenty to be sad about, moving away from her friends, the stress of pleasing her parents, etc., so the message is that sadness is not a chemical imbalance; it's normal. So, if this movie "spoke" to you, then good news for you, you probably don't suffer from depression. Depression hits for no reason (sure, it is sometimes sparked by a life-changing event), and is not cured by letting yourself feel sadness. In fact, you feel nothing. I guess, I'm not as upset about the actual movie, as I am by how people interpreted it. I don't see how anyone that suffers from depression could disagree with me; if depression could be cured with some empathy and a hug, well, wouldn't that just be delightful? Maybe my own depression prevents me from feeling anything for this movie, but I did recently bawl hysterically during an episode of America's Next Top Model, so maybe I'm not totally dead inside. Also, I have a hard time connecting to the whole "core memory" aspect because I'm pretty sure if I accessed any of those I would want to slit my wrists (let's be real, not everyone has great memories of their childhood). On a less emotional note, there are a few moments of genius - like when "facts" and "opinions" are thrown in the same box, the imaginary boyfriend "I live in Canada", and the tween boys brain screaming "Girl! Girl! AAAAAH!" at the end made me laugh harder than I've laughed in a while.

4. Terminator Genisys - Sadly, as horrible as this movie is, there has been worse this year. It's the 4th worst movie so far this year. That's the nicest thing I can say about it. It didn't have to be so bad. The Terminator movies have never been anything but cheesy fun (aside from Terminator 2, which is an awesome movie). The worst part is Jai Courtney (obviously). I don't understand how he is still given parts after the atrocity of that Die Hard movie. And I just found out he's in the Suicide Squad movie! Way to ruin EVERYTHING, guys. He is so bland and boring and just plain terrible. The second worst part is Emilia Clarke as Sarah Connor. Connor is a legendary kick-ass character, so it's tough to fill Linda Hamilton's shoes, but Clarke doesn't even come close. She's a beautiful woman, but she has no presence. Sorry, I don't really care for her on Game of Thrones, either, but I do like her character. The third worst part of the movie is that I am *pretty sure* this plot has happened before...right?!? Or am I crazy? It's been a long time since I've seen any of the Terminator movies, but I felt like I was watching a reboot instead of a sequel. Maybe that was the intent? I don't know. At least J.K. Simmons made me laugh a few times ("Goddamn time traveling robots!").

5. Magic Mike XXL - Three things I read about this movie: 1. It's better than the first. 2. The Joe Manganiello scene is one of the best of the year. 3. It's about female empowerment. This is all BULLSHIT. 1. I didn't hate the first one, but there was definitely room for improvement and this movie does not do it. I was completely bored to death for most of it. I thought the first one was a bit cheesy (terrible dialogue), but it had a good story. This one has no story. It's just a group of guys traveling to a stripper convention and um...finding themselves? I guess? 2. If a guy walked into my place of work and started sexually dancing to The Backstreet Boys like that, I would call the cops. I think any sane woman would. And I don't find him sexy at all (I would still call the cops, even if I did find him sexy). I actually don't think any of them are sexy. I love Channing Tatum because I think he's funny and he is an extremely talented dancer. And I think Matt Bomer is very pretty, but sexy? Nope. You know why? None of them have any personality in this movie. 3. Female empowerment? WHAT? Where? Women paying men to give them compliments and pretend like they are attracted to them? The scene where this group of men tell women to "own it" (referring to their sexual desires)? Sorry, but that's just another case of the male savior syndrome. It's men making women feel good about themselves. WE DON'T NEED THIS. This movie is just perpetuating the idea that we do, and it's fucking depressing. Ok, now that I got that out, there are some things I liked about this movie (when I wasn't bored to death). Amber Heard is a Goddess. For real. I love her reaction to the dance at the end, and I love that you could tell it was a genuine reaction (she spoke about how Tatum didn't tell her the intensity of the dance). I was also so excited by Donald Glover, as a performer because Childish Gambino's Camp album is my favorite modern rap album. I was prepared for an awesome performance, but it fell so flat. Such a disappointment, but I still love him. The highlight of the movie was the final performance. All of them did their own thing (you know, because they found themselves...I guess?), and it was all very entertaining.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Pitch Perfect 2 - I liked the first one, but I wasn't as enamored by it as most were. It was just a combination of Bring it On and Glee, and it definitely wasn't as witty as either of them. The sequel is more of the same, and unfortunately seems even less witty. Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) is overused and she absolutely ruined one of my all-time favorite songs ("We Belong"). It's so bad that I actually hate her now. HATE. Also, I still don't get Hailee Steinfeld. I guess she might have been good in True Grit (I still haven't seen it. I know!), but she hasn't been good in ANYTHING else. She has a decent voice, but her song (I don't know what it's called, so I'll just call it "The Flashlight Song"), is certainly no "Cups". There are so many scenes that are meant to be funny that I just stared at the screen in complete confusion. HOWEVER, there are a few very funny moments. My favorite is the underground competition (completely ridiculous, but at least it was funny). When they had to "sing a song about butts" and Kendrick responds "anything on the radio". Plus, the Green Bay Packers?! Haha! Seriously?! If you enjoy music mash-ups, then this is a highly enjoyable scene. It's a cute movie, but I guess I just don't see why it's so popular.

2. The Age of Adeline - Not as terrible as I was expecting, but I had really low expectations, so that's not saying much. I absolutely adore Blake Lively. She isn't a great actress, but she is so extremely beautiful and she always seems so happy and nice in interviews. I was a huge fan of Gossip Girl, mostly because of her and of course, Blair "leggings are not pants" Waldorf. I think Lively did a decent job in this role. There is something magical about her, like a sparkle in her eye, that makes this supernatural story a little believable. It's not realistic in any sense of the word, but they explain the "magic", and then they follow through with it, so it doesn't have to be realistic (it's fiction, like most movies). To me, it's a beautiful tale of the joy that is in life, but also in death. There is something to be said for living a full life and dying in peace. Adeline is denied this basic life experience and it is lonely and unsatisfying. I think I would have been fully on board if it weren't a love story. A very awkward and weird love story. Or maybe if it was a love story, but it didn't have the "other" love story twist? I don't know, something about it just doesn't sit right. I do like that she falls for Ellis because he is intelligent. Her response to "I don't want to come across as a know-it-all" is "too bad, I adore know-it-alls", and it is my favorite line in the movie. I don't think she means the intended obnoxious behavior of "know-it-alls", but instead that she is attracted to people who aren't afraid to show their knowledge and passion for certain topics. Having lived for so long and having so much life experience, she would certainly get bored with someone of average intelligence. I wish the movie moved a little quicker, because there is definitely some pacing issues, but overall, I don't know why, I think I kind of liked it.

3. The Gunman - I read some reviews that are really harsh on this movie, but a few of my "movie people" said good things about it, so I watched it with an open-mind (like I usually do). It does have an excellent cast. Sean Penn is one of my favorite actors (unfortunately), plus, Javier Bardem, Idris Elba and Ray Winstone are all top-notch. There are some excellent scenes, the trapped in the bathroom scene, in particular. It's just not a very memorable movie. I only watched it a week ago and I barely remember anything about it except that I hate the female character in it. She stops in the middle of a life threatening situation and demands "I'm not moving until you explain", um...there are people shooting at you, dumb-ass bitch, shut up and do what he says. Ugh...it makes me angry just thinking about it. I hate stupid female characters. It just ruins the whole movie, for me.

4. Entourage - I know, I know, as a feminist, how on Earth can I possibly watch this, but honestly, I think it's hilarious. Judge me if you want, but I promise you that any typical romantic comedy has the same, if not more, anti-feminist, misogynistic sentiment. I'd rather watch a montage of women confidently dancing around in bikinis, than a montage of a woman changing her outfit 30 times and disapprovingly looking at herself in the mirror. So, moving on, I enjoy these characters, especially Turtle. He is always my favorite. Him and Ronda Rousey make such a cute couple. Overall, I am satisfied with this movie, but it did feel a little dated, which is weird (there are references to Tonya Harding and Karen Carpenter, so awkward). I am also really, really annoyed that E. and Sloan were yet again, separated, so they spent the whole movie doing that back-and-forth thing that they did for 8 seasons. Drama had the best story arc, like usual, and he had the best line "I was given the gift of delusional confidence". And, as usual, the least interesting character is Vince. It's awkward that he is also the least attractive one in the group, too. Superficial, I know. But that's what this movie is: superficial fun. Don't take it so seriously.

5. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl - *spoilers* I was annoyed by the trailer for this movie, because it seemed like it was just trying so hard to be quirky and "independent", and worst of all, it panders to movie geeks by having the main kid be a "filmmaker". It turns out, the movie is exactly what I feared from the trailer, but there are some really sweet moments. The part I liked the most is the message that death isn't the end. There is still so much you can learn about a person after they die. I wish this was explored more, but instead it is just shown in the last moments of the movie, as Greg discovers these amazingly creative book sculptures that "the dying girl" made. And in case you don't know how sappy movies work, "the dying girl", does in fact die, even though Greg insists that she doesn't several times in the movie. I'm not sure why the filmmakers chose to lie to the audience, maybe they thought it would add emotion, but I found it aggravating. I really like the supporting cast. Olivia Cooke is AWESOME on Bates Motel and she is the highlight of this movie. There is also Nick Offerman, Connie Britton and Molly Shannon. I wish the main kid was as good. He just bored me. The movie would have been better if it were just Earl and the Dying Girl. Or maybe just The Dying Girl. 

Holiday Movie Preview: 6 Movies that I am Excited About

1. Macbeth (12/4) - Fassbender. Cotillard. Macbeth. I am there. It's already been released in other countries and it's getting fantastic reviews. I love Shakespeare, but I rarely like the film adaptations. This one looks like it might get it right, though. Also, did you know there is a 2006 film version of Macbeth that stars Sam Worthington??! That has to be hilarious.

2. The Big Short (12/11) - Cast of the year? Christian Bale, Brad Pitt & Ryan Gosling. That's the kind of cast that draws my attention without knowing anything about it. I wish I still knew nothing about it, but unfortunately, I saw the trailer before The Martian and I wasn't too impressed. It looks boring. Also, it looks like a bigger, "Hollywood" version of Margin Call (which wasn't boring, I actually really liked it, but I don't think I would ever watch it again). A movie like this is really going to rely on the dialogue - it needs to be fast-paced and witty, and I didn't get that at all from the trailer. I'm still interested in seeing it, though. If done well, it will surely be a front-runner during awards season.

3. Sisters (12/18) - I've always been a big fan of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Especially Poehler. She is definitely the funnier one. Recently, I read Fey's Bossypants, and it really made me an even bigger fan of her because she flat out admits that Poehler is indeed funnier than her. She recalls a lot of earlier struggles during their Second City run, and the push-back she got for calling out the minor roles for women (oddly enough, I read this book while on a cruise which featured the Second City performers, and to my delight it was very equally gendered. So, Tina's stubbornness paid off. Kudos.). Anyway, the two of them together is bound to be funny (Baby Mama had me in tears), plus Paula Pell wrote the screenplay and she is one of my favorite SNL writers.

4. The Revenant (12/25) - Now this has an intense trailer. I could barely breathe when it was over. First, it's directed by one of my favorite directors, Alejandro G. Inarritu. While I wasn't completely in love with Birdman, and other films of his, 21 Grams and Amores Perros still remain as two of my absolute favorite movies. Second, Leonardo DiCaprio is fucking determined to get an Oscar. I'm kidding, I don't think he actually cares about a stupid statue (He has to care a little bit, though...right?), but he just picks the toughest roles imaginable and excels every single time. As dumb as it is, he deserves the recognition that an Oscar stands for. He's deserved it for 20 years.

5. Joy (12/25) - I have no idea what this movie is about because the trailer is so random. It's just a bunch of chaotic scenes of beautiful people. But, it's David O. Russell. He's another one of my favorite directors (more for earlier stuff like Three Kings and I Heart Huckabees). This is his third movie with Jennifer Lawrence, and I haven't really liked their collaborations. She was good in Silver Linings Playbook, but I thought she was the weakest link in American Hustle. I am interested to see her headline a project like this, though. She definitely carries the Hunger Games movies, so I see her potential.

6. The Hateful Eight (12/25) - Other than the controversy of the leaked script, I know nothing about this movie. Just that it's Quentin Tarantino and that the cast is kind of awesome - KURT RUSSELL! JENNIFER JASON LEIGH! Fuck yes! I think it's going to be one of those "love it or hate it" kind of movies, but I usually enjoy Tarantino movies - even the ones that I don't love usually have something to still praise (the ones that I don't love will probably shock you, the Kill Bill movies and yes, Pulp Fiction).

P.S. - I realize that a BIG movie is missing from the list. Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I do plan on seeing it because I am a HUGE J.J. Abrams fan, but I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies (I KNOW! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!), and I probably won't be able to watch them before this one is released. However, I'm sure this will be in the theaters for a few months, so I'm planning a Star Wars binge in January. Then, I will venture out to see the new one.