Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - So I wasn't the biggest fan of Black Panther. It's okay, I just didn't really understand the rave reviews (it's a solid 3 star movie, so not among Marvel's worst). I do understand the cultural impact, though. It's heartbreaking to finally have this huge superhero film starring a black superhero and then losing him to Cancer at such a young age. I have such respect for Chadwick Boseman for powering through his diagnosis and giving his all - he knew the cultural impact as well. He definitely left a legacy that will be remembered for a long, long time. It definitely hits different to have a funeral scene for a character when the actor died in real life - it must have been very difficult for these actors to film this. I'm glad that they decided to keep going with the Black Panther character, because I think that's what he would have wanted. It's too important to not continue. But, I do think this is just another 3 star movie. It's mostly filled with good stuff, but nothing that excels it in any way, aside from the costume design (I was rooting so hard for Everything Everywhere All at Once to win costume design, but I forgot about this! When I saw those white funeral outfits in the trailer my jaw dropped open. Simply stunning). There are a few surprises (*spoilers ahead*): After maybe an hour (I might be exaggerating, I didn't pay attention to the time. It sure felt like an hour), I finally screamed "Where the FUCK is Lupita?!!" and then she showed up a minute later looking absolutely stunning in that coral number. She's my favorite of the cast, so I was annoyed that she is missing from the first part of the film. I also was not expecting them to kill off another main character??? WHY? As if it isn't depressing enough? And another surprise, for me, is the blue people! I kept seeing people make fun of the blue people, but I assumed they were talking about Avatar, but now I realize some may have been referring to this! Hilarious. Hilariously bad, actually (they looked terrible). Also, they really need to start teaching filmmakers how to film night sequences. There are parts of this movie that I literally could not see AT ALL. Anyway, on to the good - I loved the ending. Dominique Thorne is a great young talent that I can't wait to see more of. And I like Letitia Wright - she's a great actress and her character arc feels like a very natural progression given the circumstances. As far as the "controversy" surrounding her, I think people need to move on. I think some celebrities forget the impact they have (especially ones who are newer to fame); she made a mistake and apologized for it. And to be clear, I don't blame her for questioning the Covid vaccine. Her mistake was sharing a video that was ill-informed, so instead of expressing genuine concern, she spread misinformation and that is dangerous considering the reach that she has. She's ALLOWED to question what goes into her body and make her own choices, though, as is everyone. 

2. Empire of Light - What a waste of talent this film is! It's sort of shocking. Not just the cast (led by Olivia Colman), but it's directed by Sam Mendes, shot by Roger Deakins, with music by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross. How the fuck did this group make such a mediocre film? It doesn't make sense?! And it's not even the good kind of mediocre, instead it is actively bad in certain aspects. It's very cheesy and I can't even tell you the story they are trying to tell - is it about mental illness? Racism? The magic of film and storytelling? I think it tries to tackle all three of these topics in an extremely lazy way. And then turns into the Nicole Kidman AMC ad. Colman does her best, and is actually incredible during her schizophrenic scenes, but it all feels a little too ridiculous to be taken seriously. It's also really hard for me to believe that she's in her 40s because she seems like my mom's age (late 50s/early 60s). I don't mean for that to be an insult - she just has this presence of someone a whole decade older than her. Her and Firth seem the same age but they are 13 years apart! Fascinating. She develops a relationship with her co-worker who is far younger (in his 20s), and nothing about it seems real or genuine. At almost 42, I can't even imagine having any interest in someone in their 20s. My husband is 7 years younger than me, and that is already a struggle sometimes (whenever he doesn't catch one of my dated references it's always a game of "is it because he's too young?" or "is it because he grew up in a white neighborhood?". It's a fun game. Like the other day he didn't know who Aaliyah was. *bangs head on a wall*). My cutoff is that they have to be born before 1990 (this allows for Taron Egerton in case I get bored of the whole marriage thing and decide to make Taron fall in love with me... - he was born 51 days before 1990 so we're good). What was I talking about??? Oh yeah, so I think this relationship feels so awkward because they only give reasons for her to be interested in him (he's attractive, smart, kind, etc.), but never really answer why he is interested in her - she's quite unfriendly to him in the beginning and seems to have very little personality (until the mental breakdown). It is made very well (because of course it is!), but I will remember absolutely nothing about it within a few months. 

3. JUNG_E - I had higher expectations for this than maybe I should have. I just loved Train to Busan so much - it revitalized the zombie genre for me, so I was hoping for the same magic here. Unfortunately, it's just a very average sci-fi story. The world building is very cool and I enjoyed all of the futuristic technology, but nothing about it felt very original (or revitalizing!). Similar to Train to Busan, though, there are some great characters. There are some scenes that are done very well, in terms of character development - like how confident he is going into his presentation vs. how the presentation actually goes. It does a good job of giving these characters depth very quickly - you instantly know who to root for. And there's some interesting commentary on classism vs technology. But there's not much else to say about it. I would recommend it as a fun afternoon flick, just don't overthink it. 

4. The Pale Blue Eye - Christian Bale is always a reason to watch a movie (even if it looks incredibly boring like this did...). He's just an incredibly versatile actor who never plays it safe. Two more reasons to watch this: Charlotte Gainsbourg (I haven't seen her in anything in years! Where has she been?) and Lucy Boynton (I really like her, but I would love to see her in some bigger roles soon!). Other than that, though, this movie is very, very slow, as expected. It reminds me of that show Ripper Street or that one with Dakota Fanning (I can't think of the name of it) - both shows that I like to a small degree. They are well-made and sometimes have a good, twisty mystery, but ultimately it gets very boring and feels repetitive. Honestly, I stopped paying attention to a good 30 minutes, and was still able to pick up the plot again. I think it's just this genre that never works for me fully - this sort of Gothic thriller/mystery. They are usually very beautiful (helped by the Victorian costumes) and atmospheric, but I almost ALWAYS end up bored by the end. 

5. Spoiler Alert - Ugh...this movie got me. Sometimes a good ole' sappy romance is needed, and this one filled the void for me. I didn't cry, but I felt the tears forming. It's kind of like The Big Sick except *ironic spoiler alert* the guy dies at the end. I didn't know much about this before hitting play - so I was a little shocked in the beginning that it's based on Michael Ausiello's memoir (I didn't even know he wrote a memoir! He was one of my favorite writers at Entertainment Weekly, but sadly I did not follow his career once he started that other website. TV Line? I think?). I truly loathe The Big Bang Theory, but I've liked Jim Parsons in everything else I've seen him in and the guy who plays his partner is really hot (I think it's just the glasses though? and the personality?). Plus, you can't go wrong with Sally Field in the perfect mom role. It's a very sweet movie - I found myself smiling through most of it (except for the ending obvi). They have a very cute and realistic romance, and I like that it doesn't shy away from the hard times and the difficulties that arise after being with someone for over a decade. I also laughed hysterically (and was flabbergasted) by the reveal of what his apartment looks like. I was trying to guess beforehand and I figured it might have to do with some sort of pop culture - like he has an apartment filled with classic television memorabilia or something to that effect but the reality is far worse (I'm not going to spoil it). But it's like that house that was listed on Zillow (I think?) that was completely normal and then one room was filled from floor to ceiling of Tasmanian Devil stuffed animals and collectibles. I'm not sure I would follow through with the relationship after that reveal, to be honest. There's a difference between collecting something and being obsessed (it borders on insanity - I don't care if there is a meaningful backstory or not, it's still unhealthy). ANYWAY, aside from that, I loved learning about their story and I'm glad that Ausiello decided to share it with us. It's really heartwarming, endearing and life-affirming. I could have done without the narration (it gets a little grating after a while), but overall I liked this very much. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Fleishman Is in Trouble - *major spoilers ahead* Well, I think it's been quite a long time since I truly hated a television series *this* much. Maybe since Girls, which I did not continue watching - one of the few shows I could not stomach even with my completist compulsions, luckily this series is a mini-series so I only had to sit through 8 episodes. I was able to get through it simply because of my love for both Lizzy Caplan and Adam Brody. I will say that I did take a LOT of angry notes while watching this and sometimes it's kind of refreshing for a series to make you feel something, even if it is mostly frustration. I kind of feel like just copying and pasting my notes into this because after reading them over they are kind of hilarious, but I also sound like a crazy person so I'm going to try to rewrite it all in a more cohesive way. So, the first reason that I hate this show so much is because it's completely misogynistic. Yes, I realize that a woman wrote the book that this is based on, but facts are facts. It disguises itself as this story of different perspectives, but ultimately it's a story about a woman being a crazy bitch who abandons her children because she can't control her emotions. The male perspective is the focus for SIX of the 8 episodes, and then we're supposed to go "oooooh she's been through some shit, that's why she's like that". It's manipulative BULLSHIT that I could see through in the very first episode. But the series relies on the audience to be on his side until the switch (i.e it's relying on you to be misogynistic, as well. So...um...if you fell for it, you might want to have a look at your feelings towards women). I think it's also trying to tie together successful women with mental breakdowns - as in women are under so much pressure to "have it all", but I will just never feel bad for someone who CHOOSES a life like this (millionaires choosing to make more millions). There are societal pressures of being a working mother, sure, but the real pressure for working mothers are on the women who have to work in order to provide for their child financially. That's when the "balance" becomes mentally unhealthy. Do you know how easy it would be for this woman to just take a few months off of work? The privilege of just falling asleep on a bench in the park and losing track of time? She loses a client, but she still has a home and...millions of dollars. What am I supposed to sympathize with here? I have sympathy for mental breakdowns, obviously. I had a mini one a few years ago and it definitely would have been more terrifying if I were alone. And it did happen because of stress and a lot of bad things happening all at once (my best friend was really sick, I had a huge falling out with my mom that still hasn't fully recovered, my cat died, I witnessed a stranger almost commit suicide, a man fell through our glass window at work and it was the most amount of blood I've ever seen and I thought I witnessed his death but luckily he survived - but this caused a lot of nightmares with glass shattering and PTSD was triggered. I know most will say that 2020 was the worst year, but the end of 2019 really fucked me up). But I do think there is a difference if you have the resources to help you through it. And also if you have children - your choices are crucial, that is all I'm saying. Like I said, it's clear from the first episode that things aren't as they seem and that he's an unsupportive asshole - it's garbage that we have to wait SIX WHOLE EPISODES for that to be revealed. The second reason I hated this show so much is because of Jesse Eisenberg and Claire Danes. Just the most mis-matched couple I've seen in a while. I've liked Eisenberg in a few things, but mostly when he plays a version of himself. It does not work for me here because he's supposed to be like a hot commodity. This part is going to make me sound like a superficial bitch, but there is no world where Eisenberg is physically hot. I can understand women being attracted to him because he's smart and funny (and uh...rich and famous), but in this world on a dating app - he would not pull all of these hot women. He has the body of a 12 year old and the sex scenes are so uncomfortable to watch because uh...he looks like he has no idea what he's doing (I'M SORRY BUT IT IS TRUE!). I don't think I've ever really been a fan of Claire Danes. She's one of those actresses that just does a really great ugly cry and everyone laps it up. As I was watching this, I saw many reference episode 7 as Danes giving a phenomenal performance and I thought "I bet she does her ugly cry" and goddammit I was right. It's so ugly (and over the top) that I actually laughed out loud, though, so it had the exact opposite effect for me. I'm sure she'll probably get an Emmy nomination for it, but, I would love for her to do a project in which she doesn't rely on this ONE skill she has. Some other reasons I hate this show: The flashback scenes with the terrible wigs and the soft lighting are horrendously bad. The fact that it has a "happy" ending with her showing up at his door after they've both knowingly caused each other so much pain. The painfully slow story-telling. You get the picture. It's just awful. But here are a few good things (aside from Caplan and Brody): The one line in the whole show that resonated with me was about why men prefer younger women - "they hate us less", it really captured my attention because I actually think that's a reasonable and true reason. There is also some FIRE music in the last episode. Regina Spektor (I went to college with her) and that cover of Dancing in the Dark - an oldie but a goodie. That's all I got. 

2. The Last of Us - So, I don't dislike this show, but I'm not really understanding all of the overwhelming love for it. I've never played the game (I've never been a gamer. Even as a kid I would play Nintendo at my cousin's house, but I never owned any game consoles and never wanted them. I think I had enough entertainment with books and tv). I went into this extremely blind - I didn't even know it was about zombies until after the first episode aired. So far, it hasn't really done anything new - it feels a little bit like The Walking Dead but somehow slower. I've only watched the first 3 episodes, and I'm definitely going to keep watching but it's all just sort of baffling. I love Pedro Pascal (and I feel like I was there before everyone else. I remember talking about him in Narcos and everyone was like "who?"), but, and this is a big BUT, I really can't stand Bella Ramsey. I remember the casting announcement and as soon as I realized it was the girl from Game of Thrones, I was like UGH. I thought I would give her a chance, but I watched that movie by Lena Dunham recently (I can't remember the name of it) and she was even worse that I remembered. There are just so many talented young actresses out there, I don't get it. It's definitely not the first time I've hated a beloved actor/actress so I'll just throw her on the pile (of Claire Danes, Julia Garner, Timothee Chamalet/Chalamet, Adam Driver, there's many, many more I can't think of right now). HOWEVER, I was thrilled to find out that Anna Torv is in this!!! She's one of my favorites. Although *spoiler* I guess she's probably not in many future episodes (I'll hopefully be placated with the appearance of another favorite - Melanie Lynskey). I find it fascinating how many people are singing praises for the third episode, as if it's some sort of revelation. It's an incredibly slow episode about a couple that are given very little depth. I could not tell you one thing about Frank and the only thing I can tell you about Bill is that he's a survivalist (my husband is too. Literally, he's intent on surviving the apocalypse - he builds his own radios and has space food in our basement along with a hydroponic garden. He's recently even acquired some solar panels that will be strong enough to run our coffee machine because he thinks that I'll have the will to live if I can have my coffee. He is wrong. If there is an apocalypse type event I do not want to survive it). I just don't have any reason to care about these characters? They seemed like they lived a pretty boring and lonely life together, and dying together is fairly logical. I'm not gonna cry about it. 

3. Mayfair Witches - You can probably guess why I started watching this show: Alexandra Daddario. It's weird that I never even heard of this show until it was announced that it was picked up for a second season??? This is what I'm talking about with there being waaaay too many options for television nowadays. It feels like an odd complaint but I think that's why everything keeps getting canceled. Half the time when people are complaining about a show being canceled too quickly I have never even heard of the show they are talking about. It's so hard to keep up with everything - especially because I used to rely on Entertainment Weekly for such information. I miss that magazine so much. Anyway, I thought well, at least with this show, we already know there will be more...so in theory...it should be good? It's not, unfortunately. It's not really bad or anything, just very uninteresting. I've never been much into witch stuff though (even though I've been known to have my own witchy powers...*ahem*). I'm on the 4th episode, and I just feel like nothing that interesting has happened. She's just learning about her history and that she is, in fact, a witch, but....so what? I need more of a plot than that. Daddario is just stunning though. I could probably watch her read a phone book and be mesmerized. I also really, really like Jack Huston, but he's kind of below his talent in this. I'm sad to say that if it doesn't get better in the next few episodes, this might be a show that I cut from my watch schedule. It's pretty rare for me to do that, but, again, there's just so many other options out there. 

4. George & Tammy - I liked this mini-series quite a bit. Perhaps it's because of the two lead actors - Jessica Chastain (on a side note: I'm so excited that I got tickets to see her in A Doll's House on Broadway in April. She's one of my favorites) and Michael Shannon. Just two of the best working actors out there. But also I think it's because I knew practically nothing about Tammy Wynette or George Jones. I couldn't even name a song before watching this. I'm obviously not a country music fan. Once I heard her sing, I realized quickly she's famous for "Stand by Your Man", which is a beautiful song with some disturbing lyrics (although one of my all-time favorite love songs is "I'll Stand by You" which essentially says the same thing, but isn't about an abusive/cheating man. At least I don't think it is??? Don't correct me if I'm wrong). It's weird for Chastain to play perhaps the two most famous "Tammys" within the span of a year, but she does a fantastic job in both. Wynette has a very distinct voice and Chastain absolutely perfects it. I love that they both do their own singing - it always feels more natural in terms of acting then when they have them lip-sync. I just think it's just very interesting to watch a biopic about someone you know nothing about because it was all BRAND NEW INFORMATION and I had zero expectations for what was going to be included and excluded within their story. I tried really hard to not Wikipedia stuff while watching (but failed a few times - I was just checking to make sure it was factual!). Tammy really led a sad life in the spotlight - treated just awfully by the men in her life and the music industry. I was also fascinated by George's part of the story, especially towards the end when he starts randomly talking in a duck voice and NOBODY put him in a mental facility? The things men get away with...

5. Accused - I like the idea of this series - especially as an anthology of episodes with the them being a story about the "accused" party of a crime. However, I think that they are trying to show a grey area of these situations, as a way to create empathy for the "other" perspective, and so far (I've watched the first 3 episodes), they are...not grey. The first episode focuses on the father of a teenager who killed himself and several of his peers in a school shooting, starring Michael Chiklis. It's a very relevant story to current times, in America, and there is always a discussion on how much the parents are to blame. It often depends on the individual situations, in my opinion. In this case that they present, though, both of the parents are absolutely to blame, but absolutely the father because he funded his plan! He makes excuses at first, even though he knows that something isn't right with his son ("he refuses to talk to a therapist", "he hasn't committed a crime so the police can't do anything"), but that's just all bullshit. He should have definitely spoken to both police and doctors. His son is a minor and has very little legal rights. And then he believes his son has changed and wants to take a trip? If he had gotten help, then any psychologist/therapist would have told him that this is a common tactic that is used (suicidal people do this to. They will do their best to convince everyone that they are fine. It's like one of the biggest signs). The second episode is...uh...wait? I don't actually even remember the second episode and I *just* watched it last week so that's a problem, eh? Anyway, the third one stars Rachel Bilson, and she is the biggest reason I even wanted to watch this show. I adore her and miss her. I would love for her to hit it big with something soon. She has really great comedic timing if someone can utilize her correctly. She's not that great in this and it's clear from the beginning how this story is going to end. The story is told from the perspective of a teenager who thinks that Bilson's character killed his mother, so he STABS HER. He could have just calmed down and collected evidence the right way. Vigilante violence is still illegal? So, therefore he should still be charged of a crime. Case closed. Not grey. It's all just so stupid so far. I would love to be engrossed in a new primetime drama, but they all suck now. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Shotgun Wedding - The trailer for this was hilarious because it's not really what you expect from a JLo rom-com. It's just a really weird premise for a comedy. It's more of an action/adventure similar to The Lost City, but it works better for that movie because it's an action/adventure that turns into a romance instead of a romance that gets ruined by....pirates. An actual line in the movie is "everyone we love could die!" HAHAHA get it? It's hilarious! Anyway, it's also another JLo rom-com in which she falls in love with a white guy (I didn't notice the trend until someone pointed it out with her last one, but it's definitely weird). I sometimes enjoy a good rom-com, but this one is not good. The biggest problem is that I don't root for this couple to stay together at all. They are awful together - they seem to want completely different things and he doesn't listen to her at all, and she continues to agree to things she doesn't want to do. Then they bicker for a solid hour. Just absolutely bizarre that this is the dynamic that they're going for. On a related note - I am someone who never, ever wanted to get married and I definitely never, ever wanted a wedding. I've obviously changed my mind on the marriage thing (I still think it's kind of dumb, but it makes sense financially and for life-event reasons. Does that make sense? I just mean like in an emergency situation I would want my partner to legally be able to make decisions for me if I can't). But when I agreed to the marriage thing, I said there is no way I'm walking down an aisle in a big froufrou dress, etc. and my husband responded the say way Josh Duhamel does in this, saying "it would kill my mother". But the difference is that my husband continued with "but we'll do whatever you feel comfortable with", which ended up being eloping on the beach - just the two of us. The fact that this guy is just like no we're going to do a big wedding and his mom is like you're going to wear my dress and she's just like okay even though she's miserable is THE WORST and NOT what a marriage should be about. Anyway, there are a few cute moments - like the ceremony scene when they all start singing "I'll Be". Jennifer Coolidge is the obvious scene-stealer. I feel like I've been a little negative about all her wins for The White Lotus, and it may seem like I don't like her, but that's not true. I adore her - she's hilarious. I just don't think people should win awards for playing themselves. I also love D'Arcy Carden - when she is introduced and she rolls her "R" pronouncing Renata, I laughed hard. Other than that, though, this movie is pretty terrible. It also feels very long even at only 100 minutes. 

2. Breaking - I had never heard of this movie, which I find surprising as it stars John Boyega and Nicole Beharie. If you've read this blog (the 5 of you), then you know my love for Nicole already (I even talked about her in my previous post!). I'm not the biggest fan of Boyega's acting, though. He's fine in the Star Wars movies and I loved him in Attack the Block, but I haven't liked him in literally anything else. I do like him though, so I'm willing to keep giving him chances and hopefully one day he'll surprise me. Unfortunately, this movie is NOT it. He is clearly trying to do a Denzel Washington impression - it's like he watched John Q and decided to do exactly that. It just doesn't work at all. The movie is also a little dull - nothing really happens for most of it, just a back and forth between the cops, the press, and him. It feels like they just have the same conversation over and over again. It's a classic tale of demanding justice (similar to John Q), but the fact that he holds innocent people hostage for a $900 injustice is not going to make me root for you. Do you not realize the psychological trauma that you are inducing on someone else that had nothing to do with you? A strong lead performance is essential with a story like this, so without that it's just really boring. Beharie is the highlight, obvi. I also loved seeing Michael K Williams (I'm assuming this was his last performance? What a huge loss) and Selenis Leyva (Gloria from Orange is the New Black). I don't think I've ever seen her in anything else before but she's a great actress. 

3. Emancipation - This is a well-made movie, but I didn't like it. I hate the black & white cinematography, and it just doesn't capture my attention at all. He's just running through a forest and/or swamp through the first 2/3rds of the movie. There are some absolutely beautiful shots, but ultimately it fails at telling this story in an interesting way. It's a shame because it's probably Will Smith's best dramatic performance, but the Academy is not going to touch a Will Smith performance for years to come. I'm not usually a fan of his dramatic roles (and I thought the performance that he won his Oscar for was actually downright awful), and someone needs to tell him that he can't do accents. But even with the bad accent here, his performance is mostly internal and far more interesting than what he's done in the past. I think a much bigger deal should have been made about the interview in which he discusses how he was treated by Ben Foster on this set. It's wild that some things are just...ignored? It's all being swept under the rug as some sort of excuse for method acting? That's just bullshit. Sorry, you don't get to treat your co-worker like shit because your character would. ESPECIALLY with this subject matter and power dynamic between the characters. It's so disturbing and Fuqua should have cut that shit down. But you know what's even more disturbing??? That one of the producers of this movie (a white guy) collects slavery photography. He has his own personal collection of pictures of slaves and claims he's "preserving them". UHHHH WHAT? Anyway, I will say that the last third of the movie - when it gets to the battle scenes, is really strong. These scenes are filmed perfectly and hit really strong. I just wish the rest of the movie created a stronger emotion. The true story is really inspirational - about hope and survival, but it just doesn't come through on the screen.  

4. She Said - Similar to Emancipation - it's a great story, but that doesn't mean that it's a great movie. And also like Emancipation - there is a problematic producer. The fact that this movie is about the system that protects abusers and then BRAD PITT is a fucking producer just has to be a joke, right? And I'm not even taking into account the newer Jolie stuff; I'm talking about the fact that Pitt knew of Weinstein's abuse (of his OWN WIFE EVEN) and did absolutely nothing - just continued to work with him (you know, SUPPORTING A SYSTEM THAT PROTECTS ABUSERS) and is now making money off of the story just goes to show how performative Hollywood is. They have no interest in actually changing things. ANYWAY, this movie is fairly dull for the most part and extremely repetitive - just these two reporters confronting people asking them to tell their stories, they get denied, make a convincing gesture, then eventually get their story. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I also think Hollywood is churning these movies out too quickly - this just happened and we haven't seen the full outcome yet nor have we had the time to reflect on different nuances of each situation. It's all getting swept up into a particular movement (i.e the "me too" movement) instead of explored individually. There's an attempt to showcase other struggles of womanhood (aside from sexual harassment and assault) within this film - such as PPD, breast cancer, balancing careers with motherhood, etc,, but it all feels like a passing concern and a bit manipulative, in my opinion. I don't think either of the leads have particularly difficult roles to play but both Carey Mulligan and Zoe Kazan give satisfying performances. The most successful part is hearing the testimony from the real people like Ashley Judd. It's not a bad movie, but most of it just plays a little too melodramatic - like the ending when they all look at each other before they dramatically hit the publish button. I rolled my eyes so hard. 

5. Violent Night - This is a fun Christmas action movie. I hadn't seen the trailer so I didn't know the story was about an *actual* Santa Claus. I like the concept, but the obvious plot hole is that if there were a real Santa wouldn't parents notice that there were presents under their tree that they didn't purchase? If Santa were real then it wouldn't be a shock, right? We would have some inkling already...right?? Anyway, David Harbour is the perfect disgruntled Santa. But my heart stopped when I spotted CAM GIGANDET! AKA the guy who killed Marissa Cooper! I haven't seen him in a while so I may or may not have screamed out loud. He's actually pretty funny in this. Also I really like Alexis Louder - she's the one who stole the show away from Gerard Butler and Frank Grillo in Copshop. There's some fun action, great kills, and a likeable lead performance. The twists are kind of expected, but it doesn't ruin the fun. The only big problem (other than the obvious plot hole...) is that this should be 90 minute tops. There's way too much filler to stretch it to almost 2 hours. Totally unnecessary. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Mack & Rita - So I'm pretty far behind on my movie thoughts - about a whole month behind, so excuse me if I don't have much to say on these next 5 movies. My memory kind of sucks, and sometimes boils down to whether I liked it or not, and my quick notes taken during my viewing of it. Which is why I keep writing on this blog - it's not really for others (I think like 5 people read it), but it helps me remember more specific things about films I've watched. And this is definitely a case of me not really having any memory of this movie - I rated it 2.5 stars on Letterboxd (which means "average" to me). So, according to my notes: I like the cast a lot - The girl from You is adorable (I don't know her name, sorry), and I really like Taylor Paige in Zola, so I was interested to see her in a different role - she is also adorable. Dustin Milligan - also....adorable! Plus, Simon Rex! (He's not adorable, he's very sexy though). And Diane Keaton, who I have some complicated feelings about, and I don't think she's given a truly great performance since the 70s, but I adore that she continues to do romcoms well into her 70s and ages with such grace and beauty. She's definitely someone I would describe as a "legend". She sat next to me at a restaurant last year (she was filming a movie in the town I work in), and she actually made me a little flustered and nervous; she has a sense of regalness to her that is hard to ignore. Anyway, this movie is cute - it's a typical body swapping story which is such a dumb plot, but continues to be explored by Hollywood over and over again. This one is about a young woman who has an "old soul"; she stops by this mystery guru person (?) who accidentally turns her into her 70 year old self (somehow?). It's dumb, but cute. The beginning is kind of annoying, though, because these women she's friends (?) with all seem kind of mean to her, and I don't think she should be friends with them - she has nothing in common with them. I can identify with her a little bit, because I was partly raised by my grandmother too (and I love a good kimono - does that make me a 70 year old? I'm pretty sure they are fashionable. Most of the clothes she wears are from my store and it is a very trendy store). Some of the scenes drag on too long - like the Pilates scene (we get it, her body is old so she can't do the moves), but I thought the whole "Instagrammies" thing was really cute. The most disturbing part of the movie is that this group- a WINE CLUB group- put ice in their red wine. Fucking monsters. 

2. Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. - I liked what this movie was trying to do more than I liked the movie. It's a mockumentary style movie about this couple trying to rebuild their megachurch after a scandal has disrupted their success. There are many good things about it - Sterling K. Brown is THE BEST. Regina Hall has been so up and down for me (but mostly down lately with Nine Perfect Strangers and Master - both just horrible performances), but she is incredible in this. Her subtlety in the dramatic moments where she is being absolutely humiliated by her husbands actions, combined with her sharp comedic timing is really wonderful to witness. They feel like a very real couple. My favorite moment is them rapping together in the car (this is me when I'm driving, except I'm white and can not rap). Also, my mouth dropped open when Nicole Beharie appeared because I had no idea she was in this - and I love her! I wish she had a bigger role in this. She definitely deserves bigger roles (if you're not familiar with her please watch Miss Juneteenth and her episode of Monsterland - she should have earned an Oscar nomination and an Emmy nomination respectively). There are a few key scenes that are really wonderful - the end in particular with Hall saying the line "I would sooner kill him than leave him". What a line. Unfortunately, some of it is a little dull and repetitive so it becomes a little boring. It's also very reminiscent of the Tammy Faye and Jim Bakker story.  

3. The Menu - Not what I was expecting, but I loved it. Anya Taylor-Joy is a true talent (and I love her as a red head). Nicholas Hoult can be really great sometimes (I used to hate him, but he's definitely grown on me. I guess I'm no longer a hater. It happens sometimes!). But the true star of this is Ralph Fiennes - just an absolutely incredible performance. I like that the story takes some really unexpected twists and turns and doesn't cop out the ending. It's a classic "eat the rich" type story similar to this year's Triangle of Sadness (although I did like Triangle better just slightly), and it goes quite dark and deadly. I like that it sort of twists the idea of the "final girl" too, since the story can definitely be considered in the horror genre. I would probably describe it more as a very dark comedy, though, because there are several scenes that are quite hilarious. I'm not a foodie at all, and I think most of these over-priced exclusive menu places are just not worth the money at all, but it's satisfying to watch all these pretentious people describe their food experience ("we're eating the ocean" LOL), knowing that things are not going to go well for them. There's a great supporting cast of Judith Light, Janet McTeer, Hong Chau, and John Leguizamo. There is also a deliberate pace and purpose that feels really intense and quite refreshing. It's atmospheric, very jarring in places, and haunting - all while somehow keeping it very light and funny. Just excellent. 

4. Bodies Bodies Bodies - This movie is really, really fun. I was expecting it to be more annoying and too "young" for me, but it's surprisingly well-written and enjoyable. It's also very well-acted. I liked Amandla Stenberg a lot in The Hate U Give and Rachel Sennott is incredible in Shiva Baby, they are both definitely actresses to look out for. Giving a voice to the influencer generation that didn't make my eyes and/or ears bleed is a difficult task, but I really like them both in this. Maria Bakalova won me over with this, too (I wasn't the biggest fan of her in Borat - she was...fine, but an Oscar nomination? Be real.). And even Pete Davidson didn't irk me! I also didn't mind him in that movie he wrote about Staten Island, but I just don't think he's funny at all. I didn't realize that "Bodies Bodies Bodies" is a game - a game that I would definitely never play?? I would just hide in a closet somewhere until it was over. But it does provide for a good horror type movie premise, but I would argue that this movie is never scary (I don't think it's supposed to be?) - it's more of a fun whodunit plot. I figured the least likely person was the killer, and boy was I wrong. The ending subverts every whodunit plot in history and I LOVE IT (although I do remember this being a plot of another movie, I just can't for the life of me figure out which movie??? Anyone?). It's just so fucking funny. 

5. Orphan: First Kill - What a ridiculous fucking plot. I didn't mind the first one - but it only works because of the twist. I feel like once you know the twist, watching it again would just be torture. But this "adult in a child's body" does not work for a prequel if the actress looks like an adult now?? How did they think this would work? I spent the first 15 minutes googling and doing the math because it just doesn't make any sense. First of all, I actually thought that the actress was an adult in the first one (like I thought she was maybe 20 and passing for 10. Not unreasonable because I passed for a child well into my 20s), but she was actually only 12 years old! I have a lot more respect for her acting abilities after learning that. But now she's 25 and she looks about 17/18 but it's a prequel so she's supposed to pass for under 10!!! There's just no fucking way anyone would believe this girl is under 10 years old. So the whole plot becomes null and void. Then, it turns into The Imposter, which as I've said before is just such a ridiculous story (I know, I know, it's a true story). There is just no way that someone wouldn't recognize that this person is not their child and there would be extensive medical tests of a child who was abducted and then found (I mean, just a simple physical would show that she's not a child). HOWEVER, *slight spoilers ahead*, the big twist is revealed. I should have guessed there would be a twist considered the first one was literally built around a shocking twist. But this one is even more stupid! I'm not going to spoil it, but it at least makes the plot make a little bit of sense, even if it's stupid. I haven't seen Julia Styles in a while, which is probably a good thing because she gave one of the worst performances in history in that last Bourne movie she was in. Like, unforgettably bad. She's pretty terrible in this too. Isabelle Fuhrman is way too talented for these movies, but I don't see her getting many roles because this character is too iconic in a way - I think it would be hard to see her as anyone else. I'm hopeful that I'm wrong though, and she has a successful career in the future.