Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Bros - While I think Billy Eichner is hilarious for the most part, I also think he was a bit delusional to think that this movie was going to ever be a blockbuster hit. Not only are we still in a pandemic and an economic crisis, the only blockbuster movies are Marvel movies or star Tom Cruise. Even the recent rom-com starring HUGE movie stars, Ticket to Paradise with Julia Roberts and George Clooney, went fairly under everyone's radar. Him blaming it on straight people not supporting it is disappointing and kinda bullshit, really. If they put it on streaming, I think it would have had way more buzz, a bigger audience, and still received the (somewhat puzzling) rave reviews. Just look at Happiest Season! That was a super gay rom-com that received a LOT of love. People expecting films to make bank are just not looking at reality, anymore. It's unfortunate, but it's not (necessarily) straight people's faults. I also think, that it was set up to fail. It's touted as the first studio backed rom-com, and I do think there is a bit of conspiracy to over-hype certain diverse projects so that when they don't hit the "blockbuster" numbers that were "estimated", then the studios can shrug and say "well, we tried". I mean, they released this in late September, which is more of a traditional time to release horror, not rom-coms. And it doesn't have any big names. Why, exactly, did they think it would do any better than it did? Anyway, this movie is cute. I laughed a few times, but it wasn't nearly as funny as I expected it to be. Overall, I found it a little dull and predictable. And the acting is atrocious. Eichner is just himself (and somehow even more annoying), and the guy from Brothers & Sisters is super hot, but he's a terrible actor. They have zero chemistry. I'm honestly a bit shocked at how well it was received. But, it's far better than the next movie in this post...

2. The People We Hate at the Wedding - I wasn't necessarily expecting this to be a great movie or anything, but I thought it looked cute? And it has a great cast of people that I usually like - Allison Janney, Dustin Milligan, Lizzy Caplan, etc. Plus, I sometimes like Kristen Bell. But unfortunately, it's really, really awful. It's just about terrible people being terrible and mean-spirited, and none of it is funny. There are also these very serious issues sprinkled in, like the multiple references to a miscarriage, that I just think doesn't belong in a light comedy like this (it just alienates so many people from enjoying a movie). I'll never understand sibling rivalries, either (I'm an only child). It just always seems weird to me if, like, one sibling is super successful and another isn't. Wouldn't you share??? It's just wild to me that there would be a class difference among siblings. Anyway, like I said above, the biggest problem here is that all of the characters are horrible, horrible people (you know...the kind that you hate at weddings?), so the audience does not care about them at all and will actively root against them for most of the film. There are a lot of moments that are supposed to be funny - like when they fall into the Thames, but I would liken that to falling in the Hudson and that is absolutely disgusting. And when the bride starts yelling at the retail worker in true "bridezilla" fashion as if that's acceptable or funny??? It's not. It's also not that big of a deal to go to a wedding alone? I don't think I've ever seen someone at a wedding alone and thought they were a "loser" (I don't even assume that they are single, either? Maybe they don't want to subject their partner to the awfulness of weddings?). I think the only thing I liked about this movie is the reunion between Bell and D'Arcy Carden (love them together!!). Otherwise, I can't think of one nice to say about it. It's weird that I was just putting together my best & worst list earlier today, and this doesn't make the cut for worst? Someone needs to stop me from watching so many terrible movies. 

3. Unhuman - I weirdly enjoyed this - for a dumb zombie horror movie, it is surprisingly entertaining and well-made. There's a lot to criticize, for sure. I can start with the acting - the main actress is the one from the I Know What You Did Last Summer tv show and she is just as terrible in this as she was on that show. Just atrocious (I do like the name "Ever" though. I might name my next kitty that). Just every single cast member is awful - and I think they are all newcomers and I hope I never see any of them again. And if you thought that was mean, just wait, because also NONE OF THEM ARE HOT. I don't understand?? I can't tell the difference between who is supposed to be a loser and who is supposed to be the popular one if they all...look...like....that. Sometimes I think this is just a reaction to me getting older, but then I watch other movies and shows, and it makes sense (like Euphoria for example. That Jacob guy is very attractive. Terrible actor, but attractive). I think it's this weird thing to erase societal standards of "attractiveness", but if you are telling the audience that "this is the hot, popular guy" then he needs to be, you know, hot. Anyway, I'm not sure if it's because of the acting, their lacking in attractiveness, or just terrible character development, but I did not care about any of them. They do really weird, non-realistic things, like argue for no reason even though their lives are being threatened and the world is seemingly being taken over by zombies. And also *please* never, ever, ever kiss someone after you've thrown up. It can wait, girl. Probably grosser than anything else in the entire movie. However, there is a super, duper fun twist that I don't think anyone can predict. And honestly, it just makes the whole movie worth it. There's also some funny dialogue (like after the bus hits someone and the chaperone guy says "Let's hope he was a racist, so we don't have to feel bad". That made me laugh for a full 5 minutes). I don't know, I can't really say that it's good, but I had fun watching it and that counts for something. 

4. Dual - Hmmmmm.....I love the concept of this movie, but I just don't think it's executed very well. It's not very original since a film with practically the same concept came out last year on Apple (Swan Song - it also wasn't very good), and it's influenced by previous works about "doubles" and "doppelgangers", such as Dostoyevsky's "The Double" and Jose Saramago's, also purposefully ironically titled novel, "The Double" (it's called Enemy for the movie version). I think this one takes things much farther than Swan Song does by exploring the complications that could occur if this cloning practice actually existed. The title is an interesting play on words with the often confused duel vs dual - the film could have easily been titled with either word and it would have worked. *spoilers ahead* In case you haven't worked it out yet - the plot is about being able to clone yourself if you know that you have a terminal illness so that your loved ones won't have to suffer your death. But then, this woman finds out that she's not actually dying, after her clone has already taken over her life. There's some great dialogue ("what's the point of fighting to live?" - something I ask myself every day and I've yet to find an answer), and asks some really interesting questions. However, the acting is really distracting. Clearly a stylistic choice, the absurdist, emotionless tone, is really painful to experience. I like Karen Gillan a lot - even though she's been in some terrible projects. I don't think she should be blamed for this, though, because as I said, it's definitely an intentional style that I just don't think works. It's also inconsistent - the only one that act this way are her, her clone and her doctor (everyone else seems normal including her mother & her boyfriend). The worst part is that I don't really care about the characters - the main character is a bit too pathetic and just severely unlikeable. I do relate to her relationship with her mother, though. I don't hate my mom, but she is very self-centered and doesn't listen to a word I say, so it's very hard to love her sometimes. Oh wait, the worst part is the white people trying to hip-hop dancing. CRINGE. 

5. Amsterdam - I know this got slammed by the critics, but I honestly thought that meant I would enjoy it because that seems to be the case this year (I loved Blonde, Men, Don't Worry Darling, Crimes of the Future, etc.), but unfortunately this is just as terrible as everyone said it was. Pretty shocking considering the talent involved, but sometimes it just all falls apart and it's like everyone is trusting each other that it's going to be successful, but nobody is pointing out the faults (does that make sense? I feel like it happens a lot - like the cast just put their blind trust in the other actors and O. Russell assuming everyone knows what they are doing). I tend to like O. Russell films, but they do seem like they are getting progressively worse (Joy is probably my least favorite of his, except for this disaster of course). This is, without question, the strongest cast in a movie this year - Margot Robbie, Christian Bale, Robert De Niro, Anya Taylor-Joy, Michael Shannon, Zoe Saldana, ANDREA RISEBOROUGH (!!), Matthais Schoenaerts, Chris Rock, etc., but then also John David Washington (who actually isn't bad here, but he sounds so much like Denzel it's actually distracting to me) and Rami Fucking Malek. I will concede that he at least attempts to act here, but he still comes off as cold and unfeeling and he somehow still seems like he has his Bohemian Rhapsody false teeth in? And I don't know who told Taylor Swift she could act, but they need to reel her in before she makes a fool of herself. I felt bad for her with the Cats fiasco, because that wasn't her fault - just completely miscast. But she's really bad in this (Please don't come after me Swifties! I have no hard feelings about Taylor - she's adorable and has some nice songs), and *spoiler* I laughed hysterically when she gets hit by the car. Some of the character eccentricities become a little distracting - it felt like the actors were all trying too hard to be quirky (the only one who succeeds is probably Bale. Sometimes I forget how good he is). Other than the cast, though, there is just nothing interesting about it. I honestly could not care less about the mystery at all (something about dodgy medical practices??). I don't think it's particularly interesting to look at either - the colors are very muted and bland which is off-putting. For the first hour, I thought, well this isn't bad, necessarily, just boring - but it never really picks up so watching another hour of it becomes pretty painful. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Interview with the Vampire - I was definitely not expecting this to be as good as it is. I'm not even the biggest fan of the movie (and I've never read the novel! Must correct that soon, I think). But I do like vampire tales, and this one is a classic. But, it's really, really good. First, the two main actors, Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid, have insane chemistry together (and Jacob is HOT!). I was not expecting it to be so explicitly sexual and violent for an AMC show, but it definitely never shies away from either (I guess The Walking Dead was pretty violent, but I can't remember a single sex scene in it? Was there ever? I know people had babies on it, so there must have been sex?). It's also genuinely funny, which I wasn't expecting (when they talk to each other through the coffins LOL). I've also become a little obsessed with New Orleans recently (I've been there about 14 years ago, but I went there again this summer and there was something about this time that really made me fall in love with the history there. I'm also in the middle of watching Spike Lee's When the Levees Broke, which is devastating), and there are a lot of gothic myths and vampire legends that is just so deeply embedded in the culture. I also think the tv series adds another layer with how it handles racism in the south during the early 1900s (on a side note, when I mentioned how good this show is on twitter, a weird person responded that it's "racist". I ignored it, but it definitely baffles me that people think something depicting racism - that most definitely existed in the early 20th century and still exists - is automatically the thing that it is depicting. It's not racist to show racism, just like it's not misogynistic to show misogyny). Anyway, so far, I am loving it. It's something that I actually look forward to watching. 

2. A Friend of the Family - This story is straight-up insane. But I love that it starts with an introduction from the real victim of the story, setting up the fact that, yes, it is insane, but not everything is black and white, and times were very different back then. It's a little weird, but I think it instantly makes the audience empathetic to this family instead of judging them (at least, that's the effect that it had on me). I really started this for the cast, but the story is definitely intriguing. While I'm not the biggest Anna Paquin fan, I do love Jake Lacy, Colin Hanks, McKenna Grace and Lio Tipton (for once I wasn't being lazy and looked up how to spell their name only to realize that they've changed their name and came out as non-binary last year. Good thing because I would have repeatedly used the wrong gender without even realizing it. Please know that if I do ever do this it's not out of disrespect but out of pure laziness. I am not a professional. I assume that I spell actor names incorrectly at least once per post because of my laziness). I've loved Lio since America's Next Top Model (they should have won!) and I even watched that terrible show they were in, Manhattan Love Story. Anyway, the cast is great, and all feel authentically part of this time period. I am super fascinated at how he got away with kidnapping this girl - and legitimately made it believable for this little girl to fall for his story about aliens abducting them, etc. But it's even crazier that he does IT AGAIN?! I'm so intrigued! I haven't gotten to that part of the story, but it's so batshit crazy! And it's TRUE! 

3. Shantaram - Ughhhh this is very disappointing for two major reasons: One, I really love Charlie Hunnam, but his Australian accent is really hard to listen to. It's not necessarily bad, but it just doesn't fit him at all. And Two, Apple TV+ has been so on point with their television programming, I instantly had higher expectations than if this were on, say, Amazon Prime or Netflix. The show isn't that bad, but it's incredibly boring. And also somehow way too complicated. I can't even really tell what it's about? Or if it's actually about anything? Maybe I'm reading into it too much and it's just very surface level about an escaped convict getting into some more trouble in India. But it's just not interesting enough to be this complicated - too many characters are introduced and I'm too confused to figure out who is important. I think I'm 4 episodes in, but I don't really have any interest in watching more. But I will. Eventually. 

4. The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power - I watched The Lord of the Rings movies a total of once and it was when they were first released (so approx 20 years ago) and I do remember really liking them, and even rooting for them during the Oscars (also I was pretty obsessed with Orlando Bloom back then). But I have to admit, I don't remember a single thing about them. I've also never read the books (but it always reminds me of the Friends scene when Ross is baffled that Joey doesn't know who Gandalf is and he asks "didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school?", "no, I had sex in high school". Never fails to make me laugh). I was nervous watching this that I would have no idea what was going on, but it's fairly easy to follow. I think hardcore fans will obviously get a lot more out of it than I did, but overall, I did like it. It's beautifully made, and *looks* expensive (and it's super weird that certain critics claim that it looks terrible). The biggest draw for me was Morfydd Clark because she is stunning in Saint Maud. She is fantastic here - tons of screen presence, raw emotion and she showcases a quiet sort of strength that is necessary for this lead role. BUT, the actual highlight for me is Nazanin Boniadi!!! I freaking LOVE her (I was a big General Hospital fan - watched it for a solid 15 years, but stopped about 5 years ago. She played Leyla for a few years and was one of my favorite characters)!! I hope this makes her a star. I was so happy when she appeared, I actually waved my hands in the air and started screaming. It's dumb, but there are so many popular actors who get randomly shoved into the spotlight and they can't even act, so it's always nice to see someone shine who actually belongs there. Anyway, I watched the whole thing pretty quickly - it's easy to binge which I wasn't expecting, but it's also a little boring in parts so I found myself drifting and doing house errands as it was on. 

5. Wednesday - This is a super cute show. I'm obsessed with Jenna Ortega. OBSESSED. And I would like to point out that I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon (she's definitely a hot name right now with several popular projects in 2022), and that I noted how great she was during the second season of You. And even in that dumb movie Yes Day. She is undoubtedly a star - the camera loves her. The absolute perfect casting is her in this role of Wednesday Adams. She feels like she owns this character even though others have excelled before her (I never thought anyone would out Wednesday Christina Ricci, but here we are). Plus, anyone who can make dark hair and pale skin popular again is a win in my book (I have dark hair and pale skin...). And speaking of Ricci, I love that she is in this show as a different character. It's weird because she was a big name when I was growing up, but I never really liked her, but NOW, I adore her. I really, really, really don't like Catherine Zeta-Jones though (I do like her voice. And I loved her in Chicago. And regularly listen to her songs from the Chicago soundtrack. I just don't think she's a good actress in anything else). I understand the casting, but she's just so blah. But the show is really fun and cute, has a little mystery and self-awareness. It's like Riverdale, but has a plot that makes sense (at least so far...). 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Cyrano - I loved this! I really wanted to see it before I updated my Best of 2021 list, but it took FOREVER for it to be available on one of my streaming services. I think it would have made the cut during my reassessment, but oh well. I saw a lot of love for this during awards season, but then it got a total of zero nominations (I think?) and I haven't heard anyone talk about it since. I didn't realize that it's a musical, but that makes me really, really happy. I've since added some of the songs to my Spotify playlist because some of the songs are stunning; "I Need More" is my favorite - it really showcases Haley Bennett's voice. Bennett is a really strong, captivating actress. I've loved her in everything I've seen her in. But my personal highlight in this is Kelvin Harrison Jr. I'm just patiently waiting for his career to explode (if you aren't familiar, then please watch Waves - his performance is something I think about often). I love Peter Dinklage, too, but his voice isn't the greatest - and since it's a musical, I think that a strong voice is incredibly important. Obviously, the story is strong (it's a classic for a reason!), but it's also just so beautifully made, which caused me to go "oh who made this??" only to realize it's Joe Wright. So OF COURSE it's beautifully made! It's JOE WRIGHT! He has never made a visually dull film. Which just makes it even weirder that this film was basically ignored? I just looked it up because it is really baffling and apparently it did get one nomination for Costume Design, so the Academy knew of its existence, clearly, but decided to ignore it in every other category. Huh. Anyway, highly recommend!

2. Where the Crawdads Sing - The book has been sitting on my "to read" pile for a year or two, but haven't gotten to it quite yet. I wish I read it before watching this because I know that it is probably far better than this movie and I would have loved to be surprised by the ending. I really love Daisy Edgar-Jones - she was incredible in Normal People and really proved herself in that Mormon mini-series that I can't remember the name of right now. She is definitely the strongest aspect of this movie, because otherwise it is a boring mess. It definitely feels like a Nicholas Sparks movie, except they hired really bland actors (aside from Daisy). I think my biggest problem is that the two male characters look so much alike - I thought it might be part of a twist or something (it's not), but also they are so fucking dull. Just no charisma at all (one of them is Harris Dickinson - who I previously described as having the charisma of a garbage bag. This is the third film I've seen him in and I stand by this claim). I don't recognize the other guy from anything, but he's just as bad. I also don't think that a girl living in a marsh would...uh...look like this (once again, I'm supposed to believe that Daisy isn't one of the most gorgeous women you'll ever lay your eyes on...). Her hair smooth & shiny; her skin clear and even-toned. It's all just so unbelievable. Plus, the blue floral dress she wears looks identical to one that we had at my work a few years ago (I think it might be the same one, but I'm not 100% sure. My point is that it's not a cheap dress). The story is pretty bland for most of it - and all seems fairly obvious. However, I really wasn't actually expecting the ending?! I thought it was going to end in a more ambiguous way, as in, leaving you guessing who the killer really was. I think if Daisy had some better actors to play off of, and if it really committed to showing someone authentically poor and living off the land, then maybe this could have been a good movie. 

3. Smile - I truly love a great marketing campaign, and this really hit the mark. In case you missed it, they hired people to stand in crowded arenas smiling. Like really creepily just standing there smiling into the camera for no reason at all. It kind of freaked me out when people started posting these random people smiling, so I was super relieved that it was part of the marketing this movie and not a bunch of freaks. It definitely got people talking about the movie and created some mystery and intrigue. I also think that this has a little bit of originality to it for a horror movie (although I do think there is some inspirations from recent films like It Follows). Unfortunately, it just doesn't quite work for me. I didn't hate it, but it definitely relies way too much on jump scares, and goes too batshit in the end (and not in a good way like Malignant). It also feels terribly long and just drags the story out far too much. And obviously I do not like the cat scene - incredibly unnecessary. I just don't really connect to the story either, because if all of this were happening to me I would just beg to be locked up (like, HELLO I'm going fucking insane someone please just put me in a room where I can watch tv all day). It does have some great commentary on suicidal depression and forcing yourself to "smile" through the pain ("I smile, and I smile, and I smile" is still one of my favorite movie quotes of all-time). And the main actress, Sosie Bacon, is really great - and I feel really dumb for only *just* figuring out that she is the daughter of one of my favorite Hollywood couples, Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick. I guess I would have figured it out if I knew her name, but I only knew her face from 13 Reasons Why and Narcos: Mexico. But now that I know who she is, I realize how much she looks like Kyra. I'm interested to see what she does next. On a random side note: how fucking cool is her ex-boyfriend's apartment? 

4. Nope - I'm a big fan of Jordan Peele as a director. I thought Get Out was brilliant, and even though I didn't love Us as much, there are still moments of sheer genius within it. I was all in for this. Plus, Daniel Kaluuya is great - one of my favorite young actors (I prefer him with the British accent, though. Posh Kenneth forever!). I don't know Keke Palmer very well - I think I've only seen her in Scream Queens and the Scream tv show (weird that those two things have no connection to each other). I like her though - she seems sweet and honest, and doesn't seem to take herself too seriously (and I adored the pregnancy announcement - it was so cute!). This is a rare time in which I'm rating a movie higher than how much I personally liked it. It's stunningly made, with every detail perfectly curated - from the sound design, character development, depth and layers of the story, it's all flawless. But....I was kind of bored throughout? It just didn't really hold my interest and that is incredibly disappointing. I felt like maybe the pace was off a little bit, but others seem to disagree. I'm not really sure why I wasn't captivated. It's not something I would ever watch again, while I definitely would watch both Get Out and Us again (maybe even Us more so because I feel like there were little things I missed). I also don't really think it's scary at all, which is fine, but I definitely feel like it's advertised and talked about as a horror movie. It's more Western Sci-fi (although there are some disturbing moments). I think the biggest problem that I have with it is that I don't have much to say about it. I really liked Kaluuya in it, though. His little "nope" throughout the movie really made me smile. And when he manually locks his truck door as if that's going to protect him while the sky is seemingly swallowing everything whole. I giggled. Anyway, as I said, I've rated it higher than my own personal enjoyment simply because it's well-crafted, full of imagination while also explicitly referential, and I can completely understand why film enthusiasts enjoyed it. 

5. The Wonder - This is definitely one of those movies that hit me harder after absorbing it. I rated it 3 stars, but I might reconsider and add a 1/2 star to that. I think the most interesting aspect about it is that if feels dated while watching it, but I can see the connection to modern religious zealots who are willing to put others at risk due to their "beliefs". The story is fairly simple - set in the late 1800s, this nurse is hired to watch a young child who claims that she hasn't eaten anything in months but remains "healthy". Locals start to tout it as a "miracle". It's honestly very boring for the most part, but there is some intrigue in finding out exactly how this miracle is taking place. *slight spoilers ahead* I think I was expecting a straightforward explanation, but the part that really hits strong is that when she explains the "miracle" to this group (of men) that hired her, they completely reject the explanation and turn it on her - she's suddenly the villain for telling the truth. It's really interesting, and unexpected. The score is really beautiful - haunting and mesmerizing. Florence Pugh just gets better and better, yet I don't love her in period pieces (I'll never understand the Oscar nomination for a rather mediocre and miscast role in Little Women). There is something about her that feels too modern. I was excited to see Niamh Algar because she was sooooo great in Censor, so I wanted to see if that was a fluke, but unfortunately she's barely in this so I can't tell yet. I think the only thing I really, really didn't like about this movie is the weird introduction "you are about to watch a movie" part - it's just one of the dumbest things I've seen in a while for a movie like this (and just unnecessary? Did they think that would make it feel modern or cool?). Overall, I definitely liked this but I LOVE that it seems to be sticking with me.