Thoughts on 5 Films

1. One Night in Miami... - I really like this idea of reimagining/fictionalizing history when making films about certain real-life people or famous events (a few movies that have done this very successfully recently: Once Upon A Time in Hollywood... and Rocketman). It makes the story far more interesting than showing something that I can essentially read off of Wikipedia. I thought that this whole premise was fiction, but after looking into it, it seems that this meeting of these four icons actually did happen. What was discussed isn't really known, so this is where the story takes creative license to imagine how this night went down. First, I am such a big fan of Regina King - going back to the 90s, but I really was so impressed with her performance in Southland (as I was with everyone's performance - that show is criminally underrated). I'm so happy that she is thriving and taking her turn behind the camera, but it just took so damn long to get her to this point. She does a great job of keeping the story moving, which I think is sometimes a difficult feat with films that are previously staged plays featuring a ton of dialogue. It helps that the dialogue is wonderful - not only filled with poetic beats, but also with challenging ideas of how one can use their power to influence change. I also LOVE Aldis Hodge (anyone else watch City on a Hill? It is extremely "my shit" and I love it. Hoping it gets another season). And now I love Kingsley Ben-Adir. But, I just really don't like Leslie Odom Jr. I really tried with this, but there is just something about the way he acts - like, you can tell that he's "acting" every moment. And his voice just gets under my skin (yes, I felt this way in Hamilton and yes, I listened to Sam Cooke perform "A Change is Gonna Come" right after I watched this and it is stunning. Yet, I barely made it through Odom Jr.'s rendition). He is getting a lot of praise for this movie so I guess, once again, I am on my own with this (*shrugs*). Overall, I think this movie is very successful - mostly wonderful performances, interesting dialogue and ideas presented, and it feels fresh. 

2. Herself - *spoilers* Okay, this movie got me. For some reason, I totally expected this to be a cheesier, lighter take on this woman starting a new life after leaving her abusive partner. And some of it is a bit cheesy, but it's also one of the few movies that address the BIGGEST issue people (especially with children) have with leaving abusive relationships - A PLACE TO LIVE. Most stories gloss over this - like in Sleeping with the Enemy - a film in which she changes her whole identity, but somehow passed a background check to rent a GIGANTIC home in the suburbs (or did she buy it? I can't remember now, but that would be even worse). And even more recently with The Invisible Man remake - this man just lets this strange woman live in his home with his teenage daughter (sorry, nice to think this would happen, but there is no way a parent would let someone who is escaping an abusive man live in their home, putting their own child at risk). But this movie shows a closer reality - she has to get help from the government so she's put on a list for housing, but is forced to live in a hotel room with her two children indefinitely. Plus, she has to fight for custody of her children, and prove him to be unfit otherwise he might end up with partial custody or even full custody if she can't prove that she can shelter them properly. It's such a backwards cycle - and it gives the answer to the ignorant question of "why doesn't she just leave?". Because the reality is that maybe it's better to just stay so you have a roof over your children's head and you don't have to leave your children alone with a violent asshole? I also like that the catalyst for her leaving is that her daughter witnesses the abuse. Because, ultimately, that's the moment you know that you have to make a decision - continue to let your children witness abuse or leave not knowing if you'll be able to care for them. This story just gets so much right - but then it does turn into a bit of a melodramatic story of this woman "starting over", and she decides to take things into her own hands by building her own "tiny home". She gets a lot of help along the way, specifically from a woman whom she works for (that her deceased mother used to work for, as well) - who very generously gives her a loan, along with land for her to build her house. She also gets assistance from some local people to help her with the construction - which is really heartwarming (and made me remember how fulfilling it was to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity - such a fantastic organization). I think I should have seen the end coming, but I was definitely expecting more of a happy one. I wish they gave a little more information about the repercussions of what he did (she's no longer on the housing list, and has used up her loan money...what's next?), but I also like that it doesn't give a satisfying ending (because that's more realistic). But the part that really got me is the scene at the end with her abuser's mother - more for personal reasons, because I was really, really close to my paternal grandmother and she still believed her son was good until the day she died (you can't argue with a mother's love). I really love this movie (probably in my top 10 of 2020), so I looked up the director's previous work - and...was so disappointed (The Iron Lady...eek). 

3. Babyteeth - I read some really great praise for this movie (some putting it on their best of 2020 lists, but it's very clearly a 2019 release...even by UK standards?), and I can see why - but there is something about it that I just didn't connect with. I even read a few reviews in which people seemed to get really emotional with it, but I just didn't get that effect at all. In fact, I remained fairly emotionless for its entirety, which is surprising considering the subject matter (it's about a girl with a terminal illness falling in love/lust with a drug dealing weirdo). I do think it has a really strong story and idea, along with a fantastic cast - I adore Ben Mendelsohn and I love him even more when he's not playing a bad guy (which is very rare). Essie Davis is wonderful. And I've never seen Toby Wallace in anything but he is captivating - this performance kind of reminded me of young Leo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries. I think the main girl was the weak link among the cast (I don't feel like looking up her name, but she's also the weakest link in Little Women). I also just think the age difference is tough to overcome (and actually unnecessary. He could have been her age and the story would have been just as strong and would have avoided the distraction of being problematic). I know consent laws vary by country (and state by state in America and it's super confusing), but there is a line and this sits right on that line. But, I get that it's not really about that (which is why it shouldn't have been part of the story?) and it's more about her happiness in that moment and in the moments leading to her death, and also about her parent's resignation in fighting against her happiness. It's devastating to think about parents of terminally ill children having to let go of the "parenting" and just letting their child live without precautions in the little time they have. Again, I can see why people had such a connection with it, and I do think it's a film that I will think about for a while, but there's just something about it that left me cold. 

4. Tenet - So, things I knew about this movie before watching it: (1) it doesn't make sense and is hard to follow and (2) the sound design is awful. I disagree with both of these things. I didn't find it hard to follow at all. BUT, I went into it with a hyper focus because I was expecting to be confused. So, I think that helped. I also figured that the story was going to be told backwards at some point because that's what all of the marketing hinted at, and playing with time is kind of Nolan's "thing" (and sidenote: shocking revelation ahead - I fell asleep at Nolan's other "backwards" movie, Memento and I've never rewatched it so I always list it last in my Nolan rankings, which is as follows: Dunkirk, Interstellar, Batman Begins, Inception, The Dark Knight, The Prestige, Tenet, The Dark Knight Rises, Insomnia, Memento). It's like taking the movie and folding it in half and both parts are the same (I'm sure there is a word for that, but I can't think of it? Symmetrical?). There are a few scenes in which I didn't fully understand the importance, but I can't tell if it's just over-inflated or the scenes are, in fact, important (I'll probably never rewatch, so it will remain a mystery to me). I also think there is one scene that completely gives away what is about to happen so much so that I actually sighed out loud. Why did it have to be done with that much obvious effect? As far as the sound goes, I think if I saw it in a theater, I might have been frustrated by the sound, but at home I could adjust the volume as needed and I had no problem hearing it. That being said, that shouldn't have to happen, but I get why Nolan finds this exercise fascinating. He's been consistently criticized for sound design in several movies - favoring background noise over dialogue, with his argument being that every part of a film tells a story not just the dialogue. I actually loved the sound design in Dunkirk, and I never had a hard time understanding any of his previous films (most I've seen in a theater) so I don't really know if I would have been upset with the sound in this, or if I would have just went with it. Anyway, one thing I am upset about is John David Washington's dead expression through the whole damn movie. I thought he was very good in BlacKkKlansmen, so I wasn't expecting to be so disappointed in his acting, but he is just terrible in this - and he has ZERO chemistry with the other actors especially Elizabeth Debicki - the person that he is inexplicably risking it all for. And Kenneth Branagh is really hard to watch sometimes - he just seems so fucking full of himself (which fits this part), but he just never seems natural in any role unless it's Shakespeare. 

5. Sylvie's Love - This is a really cute, unexpected love story. I love Tessa Thompson, but I was even more intrigued when I saw Aja Naomi King listed in the opening credits! She deserves so much more attention and praise than she receives (and she's so gorgeous!). Rounded out with a wonderful supporting cast of Jemima Kirke, Wendi McLendon-Covey, and Eva Longoria, all in unexpected roles - it's all just glorious. Oh and there's some men in there too, but they are mostly dull and inconsequential (except Lance Riddick, of course!). The story is kind of like La La Land in that it's about finding your love - aka your passion, which might put you on a different path than the person that you love. It seems really light-hearted, but there is a lot to unpack within the story. There's a lot of underlying discussion of race, class, and gender equality. I appreciate that they didn't make her husband a complete asshole - he isn't always shown in the best light, but ultimately he did love her and he did do the right thing for her. He felt more like a real person that the typical controlling "villain" type character. I also like that she's so passionate about her career that she understands the importance of having the love of her life follow his (although, I think the secret she hides from him is really shitty). Of course my favorite part is when she explains to her husband (who is not the man she's in love with) "I can't be the woman of your dreams while also being the woman in mine" (or something to that effect, I didn't write it down, but damn that notion has stuck in my head since I've watched it). Oh wait, my actual favorite part is when Mama Goldberg tells her dirty joke "when are your ears going to get cold?!" and then the way she keeps repeating the punchline - it's just comedic gold. The movie could have easily been 30 minutes shorter without losing anything, but overall, I really enjoyed this. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The High Note - This is the worst case of "convenient storytelling" that I've seen in a while, but there is still something very likeable about it. I'm a big, big fan of Kelvin Harrison Jr. (and the more I think about Waves the more I love it) and, guess what?! HE CAN SING! *swoons dramatically* I also have a soft spot for Dakota Johnson - she was THE WORST in the 50 Shades movies, but I think she was supposed to be like that? I don't know, she's not the greatest actress, but she's adorable and she won me over in The Peanut Butter Falcon. She is very charming in this - and maybe this is the type of role that she should stick to? She's got this great flirtatious energy to her - it's coy but not in an annoying way. Tracee Ellis Ross rounds out the main cast - I haven't seen her in much, but I used to watch Girlfriends waaaay back in the day. It's important to note that these two actresses come from very famous families (Johnson's mom is Melanie Griffith, but even more iconic - her grandmother is TIPPI HEDREN; Ross is the daughter of a living legend, Ms. Diana Ross). This is kind of part of the story - and probably why it all seems so obvious. It's weird that they try to hide the twist, even though it's RIGHT THERE in your face. Like I said though, I weirdly enjoyed it. The cast seem very natural in their roles, it's really sweet, and I screamed out loud when it shows that her father lives on Catalina Island - one of my absolute favorite places in the world! It used to be one of my dreams to live there (population of less than 5k, there is a 25 year waiting list to bring a car to the island so people drive around in golf carts, and it's just fucking beautiful). 

2. Pieces of a Woman - *spoilers* I knew very little about this movie before watching it - just that it was getting a lot of positive reviews and that Vanessa Kirby is great (and that they pulled all of the award consideration marketing for Shia - even cropped him from the posters!). From the very first moment, I was in awe. I haven't had a movie fully sweep my attention...in a long time. It's a very triggering topic for a lot of people, but a topic that has recently gained attention due to several famous women opening up about their own experiences with having miscarriages, stillbirths, and neonatal deaths. I never really understood why this life-altering, devastating event that happens to thousands of women every year, is kept to such a hush-hush whisper. The biggest problem with this is that so many (most?) of these women suffer in silence because of this weird tradition/superstition of not telling anyone you're pregnant until after your first trimester (which is when most women suffer miscarriages). So, once it happens, it's almost easier to just go about your life as if nothing happened, but trauma needs to be felt otherwise you don't heal. I try to stay out of this particular topic because I've never been pregnant, and therefore can never know what these women go through. But it seems like people are finally opening up about this, and it seems like a positive step to help women feel like they aren't alone. This movie focuses on the tragedy of having your baby die right after giving birth - and it is just absolutely devastating. It has been noted by some that the first 24 minutes is let down by the rest of the film - and I agree with that, to an extent. But first, let's talk about those first 24 minutes because they are glorious. It's a 24 minute single-shot scene of a childbirth that ends in complete and utter heartbreak. It's a rare time in which I was so focused on the story in front of me, that I actually didn't even notice the technical masterpiece of the scene. As I looked at reviews that mentioned the single-shot, my mind was blown - I actually questioned its existence (like, there's no way that was a single-shot, so I replayed it and was blown away again). As many have also noted - Vanessa Kirby is stunning (I actually looked up to see if she had children because I fully believed she must have been through this before). I think the reason that its so effecting is because it focuses on the actual trauma of just giving birth - even if the baby ended up fine, it's still soooo stressful. I'm not sure why anyone would choose to do this at home (why take the risk? with all of the medical advances we have now, it just doesn't make sense to me, but again, I've never been pregnant or have had to make these kinds of decisions - so what do I know? I do know that if I got pregnant I would absolutely beg for a C-section and, like, an induced coma for a week after the birth. Do they do that?). Anyway, as for the rest of the movie - I agree with some that it doesn't feel as raw and intimate as this first scene, and instead turns a bit melodramatic. However, I still feel like it does a great job of showing the aftermath of tragedy - of having people tip-toe around you, judging your reaction or non-reaction, deciding for you how you should feel. And, it does a satisfying job of showing how relationships are effected. I think it fails in its attempt to show a male perspective - while it's absolutely necessary to show his frustration, it also almost excuses his actions (he suffered a tragedy too, but it's still not to the same extent). His character turns into an abusive, cheating, just all around scummy human, so the audience is forced to think it's probably better off that he didn't become a father? And speaking of human scum - I say this with a heavy heart because I've always been a big supporter of Shia, but what a fucking disappointment. While, I've always admitted he was a shitty person, he's also an incredibly talented actor (two things can be true at the same time), but this is the final straw. I was hopeful that he turned his life around and learned from his abusive past, especially with how personal Honey Boy was, but it seems he's just really an asshole. I truly hope he has someone in his life who is guiding him to seek help (he's still so young - and I will always have hope that people can turn their life around - look at Marky Mark!, but he still has to acknowledge the pain that he has caused and suffer the consequences). Anyway, overall I love this movie - it will stay with me forever and that is always a welcome result. 

3. Like a Boss - I watched this for Rose Byrne, but I also thought I would give one more chance to Tiffany Haddish since people seem to love her (I did not like her in Girls Trip or The Kitchen), even though the movie itself looked awful. I'm disappointed to say that it is, indeed, awful. Like, really, really terrible. And I just don't think Haddish is funny. To each their own, I guess. The first 10 minutes are just so cringeworthy - and if women ever actually talk like this I would just leave the conversation instantly. So many vagina jokes - and none of them are funny. And the plot doesn't really even make sense - they are shamed by their friends as being the "unsuccessful" ones but...they OWN their own business and live in a house that is bigger than most people dream of. The only positive aspect of the movie is the discourse on makeup - it never really goes as deep as it should, but it's still an interesting discussion. When asked "who" they do their makeup for, one says "myself" and the other says "each other", but it's important that neither of them say "for men". From my experience most men say they prefer women without makeup, yet makeup is a billion dollar industry because women, myself include, don't wear makeup for men. It's to look how WE want to look. Also, if men had any idea how much makeup it takes to look "natural" they would be stunned (and yes, I realize that I'm talking in very heteronormative scenarios). Also, Salma Hayek is a goddess (her scene in From Dusk till Dawn will live in my mind for eternity - I think, at 15 years old, it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen at that point). She looks terrible in this movie - that wig does her no favors, but in real life - she is still absolutely stunning. And I'll never forget when someone asked her how she stays looking so young and she spent the whole time talking about her neck routine - and how it doesn't matter how young your face looks if your neck looks old, so she does these intense neck moisturizing and massaging techniques. And it's totally true (mostly for women) sometimes I think someone is very young, but I look at their neck and realize the truth! So I now consistently moisturize my neck. Side-tracked once again, but this movie sucks. As expected. 

4. I Used to Go Here - I really wish Gillian Jacobs would take on something more challenging, but she's really good at this immature, "I make terrible choices", early-to-mid-30s woman. In this, she plays a writer who just published her first book to less than desirable results. She accepts a speaking gig at her alma mater, not because she wants to engage with the dialogue around her book, but because she has a crush on the professor. I think it's supposed to be a cute, let's reminisce about college hijinks, type tale, but it's all very dull and unrealistic. It just gets too ridiculous to be taken seriously. The audience has no choice but to root against her because she consistently makes terrible choices and then to top it all off she sleeps with one of the students - this is awful for two reasons: (1) while he's technically legal, he's very obviously vulnerable and she takes advantage of that and at 35 years old she SHOULD KNOW BETTER and (2) she's considering taking a teaching job at his college so that's not cool or ethical at all. There is also a character named "Bradley Cooper" (why??) who tells her "you were my number one jerk-off", and she doesn't immediately leave (and I think we're supposed to think it's funny?). It reminded me that a few months ago, I had someone on Twitter DM me to tell me that I was his "first twitter crush" and referred to a picture of myself that I posted over 7 years ago. Like, dude, I know what that means and ew. Also, thanks for making me feel a million years old. I know he wasn't trying to be gross - and just genuinely trying to give a compliment, but my God men are just terrible at communicating with women. ANYWAY, this movie feels pointless - I don't really feel like she grows, or changes, in a genuine way - it's more like 'I keep fucking up because I'm terrible so I'm going to prove to everyone that I'm not terrible' (even though everything leading up to this has proven the opposite). 

5. Evil Eye - WHHHYYYY are these Amazon/Blumhouse movies so mediocre? So far the three that I've seen share one thing: a very strong concept that goes nowhere and feels amateur. It's hard to distinguish between Feature Films and Made for TV Movies these days, and I think that's where the problem is. I went into these movies expecting a certain quality, but if I had the mindset of watching a Lifetime type movie, my expectations would be levelled (and I probably wouldn't watch to begin with). This movie tackles a very interesting subject - reincarnation, but it's too silly to be taken seriously. This woman becomes convinced that her daughter's new boyfriend is actually a man who tried to kill her 30 years earlier. I like certain things about it - the way it shows this young woman balancing her mother's traditional Indian culture and beliefs, while also living in America, is very well done and it felt very realistic. Sarita Choudhury is a fantastic actress and she really pushes to make this movie better than it is. And I think it does a respectable job of depicting PTSD - and how sometimes people who suffer from it also develop a sort of intuition to avoid future traumatic events. But, there's also a lot to criticize. Like, the incredibly dumb ending (which could have been better with a very simple revision). Also, it's never interesting to watch two people talk on the phone...over and over again. Finally, I adored Sunita Mani on GLOW and I think she's super adorable, but this is a terrible performance - especially in the phone scenes. It's so awkward watching her try to make those scenes work. This one is definitely the worst of the three, and apparently there is five more? And I somehow still want to watch the rest of them? What is wrong with me? 

3 Thoughts on Wonder Woman 1984

1. I Renounce My Wish - So, big news...I saw this movie in a theater! I haven't been since February 2020 (the last movie I saw in a theater was The Rhythm Section - eek!), but I can't say that I've really been actively seeing movies in a theater for...years. In 2019 I saw ONE movie in the theater. 2018 - maybe a dozen. I can't blame Covid for that. Instead, I blame people. The theater experience has been miserable, and I feel like every year it just gets worse and worse with audience entitlement to be loud and act obnoxiously (I've written about this in the past). However, when I realized just how much my theater attendance had declined, I became a little upset that I let other people ruin something that I used to enjoy, so I went into 2020 with the goal of going to the movies more. And with that I said two things OUT LOUD: "I wish I could see movies in a theater by myself...that would be ideal" and "I wish all film & television productions would just take a break for like a year, so that I can catch up on stuff". It's fitting that this movie is about the consequences of making selfish wishes - and the only way to save the world is to "renounce" the wish, and, man, if that could happen in real life that would be great because I RENOUNCE MY FUCKING WISH. The theaters by me have been open since August, I believe, but the thought of going to one and having to wear a mask the whole time, and worrying about others not wearing a mask, and sitting too close, etc. I had no interest in going. BUT, I got my wish of seeing this gigantic blockbuster movie in a private theater (it was a very thoughtful Christmas present), and while I'm thankful that I can enjoy such luxuries, I would obviously rather the world go back to normal.  

2. Chaos Reigns - I don't really know how to describe this movie other than completely chaotic. Like, it's just chaos from beginning to end. The plot, the dialogue, the action, the CGI, the villain(s) - it's just one big ball of chaos. Some of it's decent, some of it's confusing, but most of it could have been done better. And I sort of expected that? I enjoyed the first one (way more than I even expected to), but, critically speaking, it had a lot of issues, mostly with consistency - some of it looked terrible and some of it looked great. When that happens - it's clear to me that it's a director issue. And not that Patty Jenkins is a bad director (hardly), but she's still so new and she's learning, especially with big blockbusters like this. The problem is that everyone overlooked the problems in the first one, so...why would she bother fixing them with the sequel? And now, she's suddenly being held to a higher standard. I don't think this sequel is a bad movie - it's just...a lot. And it's very inconsistent. Gadot and Pine do a fine job, and have lovely chemistry, but Pedro Pascal felt like he was in a different movie. I'm LOVING the adoration I see for him (between this and The Mandalorian, it feels like he is everywhere now and it is well-deserved), but I didn't love his performance here. Kristen Wiig is great until she turns full-blown Cheetah (please stop making cat/human hybrids in movies - my eyes still haven't recovered from Cats). I also feel like it should have been a lot more fun with the play off of 80s nostalgia. Maybe it's passed its prime, and has already been done to death (we've moved on to 90s nostalgia - Clueless remake imminent), but I still think it could have been done better. 

3. The Response - I'm not sure why the response to this became such a big deal seemingly overnight. From what I could gather, the critics that got to see it early gave it fairly good reviews - which left a lot of people disappointed in the results. And then people started to gang up on these critics for pandering to the studios (and possibly getting paid to review favorably). The whole point of studios releasing to critics early is to build "hype" for a movie, so obviously this happens to a degree, but I fully believe that most critics stand by what they write. And I think a lot of critics were probably just super happy to be watching a blockbuster movie after months and months of delays (and a worldwide pandemic happening) and they let that effect their thoughts. This is what happens when you let anyone with an opinion and a keyboard write movie reviews. Honestly, "professional" critics are a thing of the past. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing - it became such an elitist, self-aggrandizing profession and personally, I would rather read reviews from my twitter buddies who put their own personal thoughts into movies (like myself). However, there is now a shit-ton of people writing about film, who actually know nothing about filmmaking. You can't hold them to the same standards, anymore. And if they felt joy and hope while watching this and decided to write in their reviews, what's the big deal? Anyway, there is also a whole weird focus (mostly by men) who are "disturbed" by the body swapping plot and actually have the audacity to complain about consent - first, maybe do some research on power dynamics within heterosexual sex and then...um...shut your face. Second, the whole plot point is obviously a play on the very questionable plots within 80s movies (I mean, there was a movie in which a guy falls in love with a fucking mannequin for fuck's sake). It's called commentary and it's supposed to be a little "icky" you dumb fucks. Everyone got one thing right, though, and that is that this would be forgotten within days. That's definitely a result of releasing films on-demand - the shelf life for discussion is two days max. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Soul - Completely unexpected story. I was prepared to watch a kids animated movie, I was not prepared for a visual translation of a Death Cab for Cutie song. I thought it was about a musician trying to make his way - maybe a life-lesson about "working hard while enjoying what you're doing", might have been tossed in for good measure, but...it's actually about the human soul. I'm not sure why Pixar feels the need to try to explain complex concepts like "the soul" to children, but it feels like a spiritual sequel to Inside Out (which is a movie that I liked, but hated how audiences interpreted it as a study of depression). And, boy, does this movie have some thoughts. On the after-life, human existence, the meaning of life - it's all in there in a really jumbly, not completely coherent way. And then it all boils down to the lesson of "enjoy the little things in life", which ultimately has nothing to do with "the soul", but a great lesson for kids to learn, nonetheless. I can see why people are connecting to it, but it's not something that really connected with me. The animation is great, though. And the voice acting is all on-point. And a cat is heavily featured (obviously my favorite part!). 

2. Blackbird - The cast had me intrigued - Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet, and Mia Wasikowska. That's some talent, right there. The plot is pretty simple - this woman is dying, and decides to end her life on her own terms, so she throws a "goodbye" weekend gathering with her family. I like that it feels very genuine, and the actors all have great chemistry together, but the characters are a bit one-note and full of cliches (one sister is uptight and controlled, the other is a typical "mess"). I also think it lacks emotional resonance. The only part that kept me interested is the odd introduction of this other woman, who is obviously close to the family, but there is also a mystery about her (it becomes obvious as to what this mystery is pretty quickly). And I know it shouldn't matter, but I think showing this family as wealthy makes them so unrelatable. It's never really spoken about, but the house that this story takes place in makes it very obvious that this family is very privileged. My thoughts kept wandering to this stunning greenhouse that they have - I would love to just live in that greenhouse (side-note: I've become a bit obsessed with plants over the past few years - I was always so hesitant to have plants because of the cats. But, I started with one to see how it went, and now I have over 25 house plants and I grow my own herbs too! I have to do a bit of research first to make sure they are safe for cats - and also accept the fact that the cats will ruin some of them. The new kittens have destroyed 3 plants so far and broke my favorite pot. UGH.). Anyway, the acting is sufficient, but I think I expect more from these three - although I was surprised by Kate Winslet because it doesn't really look like her - it's not like she does much to change her appearance just the glasses and her hair pulled back combined with that preppy wardrobe - it took me a second to realize that was her (her voice gives it away - even with the American accent, her voice is so distinguished). 

3. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom - It still disturbs me that I spent 4 years in college studying Drama, and was never tasked with studying August Wilson (or read any of his plays). Isn't that weird? Maybe I will correct that this year. It immediately felt like Fences - which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I didn't really like Fences (I can see why the play is so vital, but it didn't work on-screen for me). There's a LOT of dialogue - and the dialogue moves with such a fast pace, and twists and turns in really unexpected ways, but it's also hard to focus on. I don't want to criticize it for that, necessarily, because the dialogue is what keeps it so lively and challenging (but, again, I think it would be really satisfying to watch as a live performance, it doesn't work for me here). The performances, though, are spectacular. Viola Davis is a force of nature in this - her mannerisms, her swagger - she just embodies this woman so well. Chadwick is also wonderful - his smile and energy is infectious. The ending is also a highlight - first, the "surprise" hits really unexpectedly and delivers just the right amount of confusion mixed with satisfaction. Second, the final shot of the white band recording the song is just heartbreaking, and a solid reflection of the point of it all. I hope that makes sense. I didn't know it was based on real people, and a real struggle that is so often fought within the music industry, which is exactly the point it's making. Overall, I think it's successful - and I think I'll remember it more than I remember Fences, even if I didn't love it. But more importantly, I read a few reviews by black critics who really connected with it, and that's what's important. People seem to forget that just because something isn't made for you, doesn't mean it doesn't hold value. 

4. Fighting with my Family - How super-freakin'-cute is this movie?! It's really unexpected. It's never even been on my radar, until I saw a picture of Florence Pugh from this movie, and didn't know where it was from. Once I looked into it, I realize that I failed to connect that that's Florence in this movie about wrestling starring The Rock. Then, I was even more surprised to see its RT score of 92%. I repeat...92%. And I have to admit, it totally deserves it! It has a great story, a really strong central performance from Pugh, really funny dialogue, and a hot guy! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT? I laughed more than a few times (my favorite: "you should see his cock...sorry...penis...you should see his penis" - oh man, that line delivery is pure gold). AND The Rock is in it for only a few minutes - but he is hilarious ("please, sir, can I have some more advice?" I died.). I think the fact that it's about wrestling will turn a lot of people off (and I'm sure a lot of people are pumped by it, too - wrestling, amazingly, still has a shit-load of fans. I actually know of someone who writes for WWE (a past co-worker's husband - and yes, I just put parenthesis inside of parenthesis. I do what I want.) - isn't' that crazy? He writes those batshit crazy storylines and fans just eat it up.), but the story is universal and can be applied to literally any sport or talent. It's about being yourself - finding that voice that no-one else in the world has but you. It's also about not judging others, and making assumptions, working as a team, etc., and it's all just lovely. And the hot guy is Jack Lowden - I've seen him in other things and he never really stood out, but he's adorable in this. And then I made a huge mistake of googling him only to learn that he's Scottish (and possibly dating Saoirse Ronan? Good for him!). It's all over for me; soon I'll be saying "Taron, who?" (kidding...Taron is irreplaceable). 

5. Possessor - I can't imagine that it's easy to be a filmmaker living in the literal footsteps of David Cronenberg (I mean, obviously, opportunity-wise, it's much easier for him, but like critically-speaking and pressure-wise, those are some mighty footsteps). Brandon's first feature film, Antiviral, is something that still lives vividly in my mind, and I remember being really surprised by it. With this, I think it's safe to say that Brandon is clearly making a name for himself as an incredible filmmaker. Possessor is fascinating and hypnotic from beginning to end - disturbing, beautiful, stylish, gory, and slightly nightmare inducing (the scene with the skin mask is just really unsettling - I'm hoping I don't have nightmares from it, but I can't be sure. Just seeing it on the poster totally creeps me out. Also, when the kid turns to her and says "pull me out" - ugh...I get chills just thinking about it.). Andrea Riseborough is a favorite of mine (and definitely not talked about enough. She's so good - every.single.time), but I think Christopher Abbott is the stand-out performance here. He's been in so much - most memorably, The Sinner, but he really proves himself here. He reminds me of the guy who plays Jon Snow (you know, the guy who can't act at all) combined with the guy from The Expanse. Like if you showed me a picture of the three of them together I might not be able to tell the difference between them. Anyway, I absolutely love this movie - will most definitely be one of my favorites from 2020. 

10 Books I Read in 2020

I made a conscious effort to start reading more a few years back, but I definitely slipped in 2020. Time was obviously not the issue - it just takes a lot of mental energy to read (and, more importantly, digest what I'm reading) so I found reading a little difficult to do. I did manage 10 books (maybe 9?) but I purposely chose "easy" reads (for the most part). Here is what I read and a quick thought on each: 

1. Turtles All the Way Down, John Green - I have a soft spot for the movie The Fault in Our Stars (have a lump in my throat just thinking about it...), so I thought I would like this book. I was wrong. It's so childish and immature. One of the main characters writes Star Wars fan-fiction (is that a thing people do? I mean, who am I to judge, but my God, I wish I had that kind of time when I was 16. It instantly makes this whole group completely unrelatable to me). I think it's important to tell stories about growing up with mental illness - and how to overcome it, but this book was just hard to read. 

2. Dirty John and Other True Stories of Outlaws and Outsiders, Christopher Goffard - I enjoyed some of these stories way more than others. I appreciate the way that it is written - very fact based with little emotion. Some of the stories, though, seem very pointless. And the only reason that I even bought the book was for the "Dirty John" story because I thought there would be more insight than the tv series, but surprisingly, I feel like there is even less information given. I can see a few of these stories turned into other mini-series, though. 

3. Fates and Furies, Lauren Groff - Man, did I loathe this book and how these characters are written. It's the most misogynistic thing I've read in a while (and it was written by a woman...). Just the description of the female character is so awful - she's basically a manipulative shrew of a woman. I think that the author was going more for a "great woman behind a great man" kind of thing, but it turned out terribly wrong on every level. I almost stopped reading it, but then I got to the "Furies" part and I thought "oh good, her point of view", but then it got even fucking worse. I can't think of one nice thing to say about it. 

4. I'll be Gone in the Dark, Michelle McNamara - I actually think I might have read this in 2019, but I didn't list it in my year end book list, so I guess maybe I read it in the beginning of 2020? I was watching the series, and I went to look up my thoughts on the book and I couldn't find anything. I know that I liked the book a lot, but it was very hard to read (emotionally), especially because I typically read right before I go to sleep. I had never heard of the Golden State Killer/East Area Rapist until I heard of Michelle's death. There were just so many serial killers in the 70s to keep track of! Anyway, this book is so well written, and so respectful of the victims. It has great insight into the minds of serial killers, victims, and people working on these extremely emotionally disturbing cases. It's heartbreaking that Michelle didn't live to see the impact this book had on the case. 

5. The Double, Jose Saramago - Blindness is one of my favorite books ever (the movie is, sadly, garbage). I tried to read the sequel, but I couldn't get into it. However, once I saw the movie that is based on The Double, Villeneuve's Enemy, I added this book to my reading list (not to be confused with the movie The Double that is based on the Dostoevski book). I liked this book a lot, but it's difficult to read (it's a translation, and there is practically no grammar - It almost feels like one really long run-on sentence. Blindness is the same way, but for some reason it worked better with the story). I love how it starts off rather an innocent curiosity, but then turns menacing - and you don't really know how it's going to end (I already read that the book does not have the ending that the movie has - which is one of the greatest movie what-the-fuck endings of all time). 

6. The Hazards of Time Travel, Joyce Carol Oats - It's been pretty rare for me to get really, really into a book (especially this year). But I read the first 100 pages of this in one sitting (I usually do 60-70 pages max before my eyes start to hurt and my brain shuts off). It's YA sci-fi in the same vein as The Hunger Games (which I've never read, but I enjoyed the film series). There's some great stuff - especially about long-term effects of 9/11. It's exciting and a really interesting new idea. And it would make an EXCELLENT mini-series or film series. It's an easy read, but there is still a lot of stuff happening that you have to really pay attention to. 

7. The Hate you Give, Angie Thomas - Obviously a timely read for 2020, not really done on purpose. I saw this book mentioned a few years ago, when I was reading about the police killing of Oscar Grant - before it was turned into a movie. I happened to walk past it the very next day at Barnes & Noble, and usually when stuff like that happens I try to listen to what the universe tells me so I bought it. However, it then sat on my bookshelf for a few years before I actually picked it up again. It's a heartbreaking story of a young black girl who witnesses the police murder of her black friend. Inspired by Oscar Grant's story, it delicately and intelligently reflects on telling someone's "whole" story - directly commenting on the media's tendency to focus on certain parts of a narrative. It's written for a YA audience, in that it explores systemic racism in a way that is easy to digest, but it's compelling and complicated enough for an older audience to reflect on as well. 

8. Testament of Youth, Vera Brittain - Absolutely stunning novel. Probably one of my favorite books of all-time. I fully admit that the only reason I added this book to my "To Read" list is because I watched the movie (and the only reason I watched the movie is because of Taron Egerton, who plays Edward). I didn't like the movie (it's very boring, but Taron is adorable as per usual), but I really liked the story so I did a little research and became absolutely fascinated with Vera. What an iconic and inspiring woman! I love that it's a very female story told during WW1, which isn't typical. I love that she feels a duty to "suffer" as much as she can in order to honor her fiancé, her brother, and her two male friends. It's so poetic, thoughtful, intelligent and utterly heartbreaking. I think it loses a little steam once the war is over and Brittain focuses on her accomplishments in literature and speaking engagements (not because it's not interesting, but it's just not as interesting). I can't wait to read more from her. 

9. Murder on the Orient Express, Agatha Christie - I watched the new movie version of this very famous story in 2019 and added the original film to my list, but thought it might be better to read the story first (I'm trying more and more to do that, but am often unsuccessful). Obviously, I already know how it ends, but it's interesting to see how Christie brilliantly builds the suspense. I've read some of Christie's short stories before (my grandmother had a collection of them) but I was very young (maybe 13 or 14) and I don't really remember them. Planning on reading a few more over the next few years.

10. When We Were Orphans, Kazuo Ishiguro - I think this is my third Ishiguro novel (?), and probably my least favorite. It's still great, but it's really hard to focus on - and the time jumps kept me confused. It's a little bit of a detective story, but also a story about a detective (does that even make sense?). I liked the build up of suspense about his missing parents, but then it jumps to a completely different part of his life - as soon as I get comfortable and immersed, it jumps back to this detective story. It just didn't work for me as a whole. But, Ishiguro is definitely becoming one of my favorite writers - I love how he writes his characters with so much introspection. I really feel like I know exactly who they are. 

Best and Worst Films of 2020

Best:

1. The Devil All the Time
2. Sound of Metal
3. I'm Your Woman
4. Horse Girl
5. The King of Staten Island
6. The Invisible Man
7. Happiest Season
8. The Trial of the Chicago 7
9. Palm Springs
10. Onward 

I have a strong feeling that this list will look much different when I update in July - I expect Nomadland, Ammonite, Promising Young Woman, & several others might kick the current 6-10 off my list, but we shall see!

Worst: 

1. Bill & Ted Face the Music
2. Gretel & Hansel
3. The Last Thing He Wanted
4. Radioactive
5. Capone
6. The Glorias
7. Greyhound
8. Guns Akimbo
9. Project Power

10. The Rhythm Section