Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The New Mutants - Not nearly as bad as I was led to believe. I actually enjoyed it for what it is - which is a sci-fi horror. It's certainly not your typical superhero film, as it's very clearly filmed as a horror movie (jump scares and all). And even though it's part of the X-Men series (the final one? I don't believe it), I appreciate that it does its own thing. It's weird and dark, with a smaller, more focused story. However, it's not exactly good, either. For one, the acting is atrocious (Anya, is that you??? I thought you could act? And her character is the best one too! I wanted to love her, but some of that line delivery is *cringe*). The different accents are all very jarring (and none of them feel natural - the worst is Maisie Williams. I don't think she can act at all - she was horrible on Game of Thrones and even worse here, but I was so confused by her accent because I thought she was Irish and I thought why is she doing such a terrible Irish accent if that's her natural accent? So I looked it up and apparently she is supposed to be doing a Scottish accent? What? That was Scottish? And she's actually not Irish, she's English.). It's all very obvious as to what is happening and it takes them way too long to figure it out. And the lesbian plotline feels very forced. It's a shame because there is a great movie in there somewhere, it just doesn't work. 

2. The Prom - Let me start off by saying that I have been a Ryan Murphy fan from the beginning - I was a huge fan of Nip/Tuck and I was obsessed with Glee (if you go back far enough on this blog I used to even do episode recaps! OBSESSED). This film seemed like Murphy doing what he does best - which is over-the-top, campy, musical productions. Yet, I hated *everything* about this. Yes, everything. My biggest problem with it is that it feels soooo dated. Yes, I realize that there are certain parts of America (and the world) that are 20 years behind the times (this takes place in Indiana. One of my co-workers is from there. When she moved here 10 years ago, she said she felt like she was in another country. I don't think people outside of America realize how incredibly different each state is). But, movies aren't behind the times, Hollywood is not behind the times, so stories like this have been told TO DEATH. Even Murphy, himself, did stories like this on Glee 10 years ago! And does anyone else find it weird that they make sexuality a big "taboo" subject, but don't say anything about racism & diversity? The cast is wonderfully diverse, but doesn't that NOT MAKE SENSE in Indiana? It's falsely presenting Indiana as culturally and racially diverse (one of the LEAST diverse states out of 50 - I think it ranks in the bottom 5), and the movie doesn't even address it. Another big issue is that it has this ridiculously amazing cast of Hollywood A-listers like Meryl Streep and Nicole Kidman, and then they go and cast James Corden in the main role. First, EVERYONE hates James Corden. I know that there are plenty of celebrities who I hate, but have a large fan base, but I've literally never seen anyone say anything nice about James Corden. Also, it's really surprising to me that Ryan would cast a straight man in this role? I actually don't agree with people who feel that only gay actors should play gay roles (this idea is problematic for so many reasons but the biggest one is that not everyone is out - and maybe playing a gay character will help them with their own identity? And also some people don't like labels - I'm one of those people.). BUT, I also think that it depends on the movie and the character? And this felt like it needed someone who has a little more connection with the character - because it feels like Corden just took a bunch of flamboyant gay cliches and WENT TO TOWN, and therefore it becomes offensive. I don't know, I may be contradicting my own thoughts, but my point is that Corden is terrible. ANYWAY, the musical numbers are mostly awful - the only one that is great is the "Love thy neighbor" one, and the final number is fun and sweet. I also enjoy that it makes fun of celebrities who take up a "cause" (mostly for publicity and public support). This always angers me - bringing attention to certain things is sometimes necessary, but the ones that really get me is when celebrities tweet something like "hey my friend has cancer and she can't afford her medical bills - here's a link to donate money", when this person can literally pay said medical bills with one week of their own salary. FUCK OFF (I literally just saw this happen a few weeks ago.). Overall, I really hate this movie - even though it's probably a better film than, say, The New Mutants, I had higher expectations so it just becomes even more of a disappointment. 

3. Mank - I was dreading watching this, but I figured I should get it out of the way now, otherwise it will keep moving down THE LIST and I'll never end up watching it. I thought it was super weird when the trailer released and everyone flipped their shit about how "great" it looked because I thought it looked like boring, film elitist garbage. And guess what? I was fucking right. Fincher has made some masterpieces - there is no denying that (se7en is one of my favorite movies ever), and even the ones that I think are lesser than, are still good. And they are all...beautiful. This loses the one thing that all Fincher films have - the beauty. The black & white is just so pretentious - and it looks terrible - it's mostly just grey. And it makes it even harder to pay attention to. The story isn't even that interesting? The only people who care about the true story behind Citizen Kane are film buffs, and they likely already know this story. Not that that completely matters (knowing the story shouldn't hinder ones enjoyment), but they do absolutely nothing to make it interesting. Drunk Gary Oldman just reminds me of his guest appearance on Friends, and it's really distracting. But, Amanda Seyfried is great - I've been a fan since she surprised me in Loveless, but I don't think this performance is worthy of awards chatter at all. 

4. I'm Your Woman - Now this is an award-worthy performance. Rachel Brosnahan is wonderful in this very complicated role. I've never seen her in anything before, but I'm so happy to know that she's this good because she's received many awards for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (a show that has been on THE LIST for years...I'll get to it...eventually!). She always reminds me so much of Evan Rachel Wood, which is a good thing. I really love this movie from beginning to end - I love the way it mixes the suspenseful, thrilling parts with the quietness of the day-to-day. I love that it's from her perspective, so we never quite know the full story - the audience is forced into the same confusion that she suffers from. I love the way it ends in a really satisfying way. And most importantly I LOVE the sunglasses she wears in the beginning (I NEED them). This is one of those movies that is hard to articulate why it works so well, it just does - there is just something special, something memorable about it, a vibe that I just adore. And as much as I appreciate films telling a concise story within their timeframe, I do think this would have worked really well as a mini-series. I could have watched hours more of this woman's story. Also, on a side-note, I keep getting this, Pieces of a Woman and Promising Young Woman confused - all three seem to be getting really good reviews. 

5. The Witches (2020) - I'm not sure if I've ever seen the one from the 90s? I certainly don't remember it. There's a few things that surprised me about this - first, it STARS Octavia Spencer! Every promotional image I've seen is with Anne Hathaway. I had no idea that most of the story revolves around Octavia and some mice (the main one narrated by Chris Rock!). Second, I thought it was supposed to be darker - more of an adult Halloween campy movie (the promo images reminded me of Death Becomes Her (one of the greatest films of all-time!) - but it's very clearly a kids fairytale, which is ultimately disappointing. And third, *spoilers* they stay mice in the end! Haha! That's kind of funny, and sad? Especially when he's like "hey Grandma we'll probably die at the same time because mice only live a few years....COOL!". Like, what in the actual fuck is that about? This is not great, and barely entertaining, but Anne Hathaway is perfectly cast, because she does "camp" so, so well. And the production design is fabulous. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. A Teacher - There are some things I really like about this limited series  - first, I absolutely adore Kate Mara. I think she deserves so much more credit than she gets, and she's excellent here in a very unlikeable role. Second, I appreciate that they take a very "icky" subject and give it depth and layers - nothing in life is black and white. I'm not referring to her actions - which are very clearly disturbing. Instead, I'm impressed with the way they are showing his side of the story and how his life is effected (vs how people assume his life was effected). And I do think they do a good job of showing her side, as well - even if it doesn't change the fact that she's a terrible person (being bored with your life is no excuse for her actions, but I think it's this innate sense of needing/causing "drama" to stimulate one's world that isn't often explored in a realistic way like this is). And third, I'm not finished with the series yet (I think I have 3 episodes left), but I love how quickly it's paced. The episodes are short and concise with very little filler, there are time-jumps that push the story forward, and it never really ends the way you expect. I'm interested to see if they end the series in the way that I think they will (which would be very controversial, but also realistic and explores more of the "grey" of life). There are also a few things I don't care for - a big one is the over-use of 90s/00s hip-hop songs (17 year old kids definitely don't listen to "Big Pimpin'" - a song that is 20 years old). It feels so forced, which contradicts everything else about the show. I'm also not the biggest fan of Nick Robinson; he reminds me of Ansel Egort, minus the charisma. He also needs a haircut, stat. 

2. Truth Seekers - This is a big disappointment for me. I just have really high hopes for something created by Nick Frost and Simon Pegg - and this is just sort of blah. I was entertained for some of it, but I kept getting sidetracked by other things while watching it. The plot is actually great (they are paranormal investigators - as a comedy that should work really well). And I adore the cast - especially when my favorite, Kelly Macdonald, shows up! Where has she been? I haven't seen her in much lately. Anyway, overall, it's cute - I would watch more. I think I was just hoping for more of a laugh out loud comedy. Although, every scene with Malcolm McDowell is hilarious. What a legend. 

3. Big Sky - I'm very angry with this show. And I'm about to write about a *MAJOR Spoiler/plot twist* within the first episode - so stop reading if you want to be surprised. The show is advertised as a new show STARRING "the sexiest man on the planet, Ryan Phillippe" (I may have added the sexiest man on the planet part, but it's true), and then he gets shot in the fucking head at the end of the pilot. And like, really shot in the head, no way is he coming back from that - he's dead, no question. That's some bullshit, right there. He has shown up in the next few episodes in very short flashback scenes (and credited as "guest starring"), but the stars of the show are definitely a bunch of no-names, so I really feel like they tricked a lot of people into watching it (i.e every girl who was obsessed with Ryan since 1997). Actually, I obviously recognize many of the other actors (especially the two teenage girls - one from Little Fires Everywhere and the other from Gotham &The Goldbergs). But, it's some damn fine false advertising and it really upsets me. I've watched another 3 or 4 episodes and so far it's been really boring (and actually the "twist" in the pilot about the sheriff is obvious even from the commercials and literally nothing else about it has surprised me - it is really disappointing). I'll keep watching this season, but if it doesn't actually DO something, then I won't be watching anymore (unless they do a prequel? with Ryan's character alive and solving a previous mystery?). 

4. Your Honor - I've watched the first two episodes so far, and it is GOOD. I couldn't really figure out how they were going to take this story and make us sympathize with this father/son - if you don't know what the story is about: the kid kills someone in a hit & run and his father, a judge, uses his power to cover it up. Absolutely vile. BUT, they actually make it work (I won't spoil how, but basically he isn't saving his son from being rightfully charged with murder, he's saving him from being murdered....intriguing...right? WATCH IT.). The second episode makes everything even messier by introducing a fairly innocent individual who gets caught up in this crime - bringing even more depth to the story. Bryan Cranston is spectacular (as per usual). I'm so excited to see where this story goes (and hopeful that everyone gets what's coming to them). 

5. Small Axe - I'm not sure if this is considered a bunch of short films or a limited series? I've looked into it and is seems like people are in two very different camps. I guess we'll find out once it starts getting submitted for awards (will it be submitted for Oscars or Emmys???). To me, it's a limited series/anthology, similar to Monsterland. I feel like there is a superiority complex with people insisting it's a film, as if being seen as tv is lesser than, but tv has surpassed films in so many ways, so that's a weird take, in my opinion. So far, I've watched the first 3 "episodes" and I loved one, liked one, and was indifferent on one (Lovers Rock > Red, White and Blue > Mangrove). I think this might be a controversial take because I've seen a LOT of love for Mangrove and I don't understand - it's a standard boring courtroom drama. The acting is great, but ultimately that's all I remember about it. Red, White and Blue felt more essential to me, with current world events - I like the dichotomy of wanting to be a police officer while also wanting to change everything about what the title represents. I also loved the story with the father demanding his day in court. It's just a much stronger story - and again, the acting is great (John Boyega is finally in a role that he seems passionate about). But, Lovers Rock is like nothing I've ever seen. It's basically just a filmed house party but there is so much happening in the small moments. It feels raw, genuine, and sensual. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. And I'll never forget it. I do feel a bit disappointed as a whole, though, simply because I haven't been absolutely stunned by any particular scene yet (which is essential with a Steve McQueen project - even with a film I didn't care for like Widows, there is still a scene that I was stunned by). But there's still two more episodes to go, so here's hoping!

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Happiest Season - This movie is super cute. I appreciate that it keeps to being a "traditional" family holiday movie, while also focusing the story on a gay couple. There's just a lot to like - First, I adore Clea DuVall. I'm so happy that she's writing/directing now. And the Josh Hartnett poster in Harper's room is the perfect nod to Clea's beginnings. I think she did a great job creating characters that are layered, flawed, charming, and genuine. Second, this is where Kristen Stewart excels - she is very adorable in this because her awkwardness works with the story. I'm a big fan of the rest of the cast - Mackenzie Davis is wonderful (even when her character turns into a bitch, I still had sympathy for her). Dan Levy is hilarious (him pretending to be straight is probably my favorite part of the movie. Plus he nails my feelings about marriage as one of the most "archaic institutions of the human race". Hear fucking hear!). Plus, you can't go wrong with Alison Brie AND Aubrey Plaza (who is actually decent in this - I've questioned her acting in pretty much everything aside from Parks and Rec). Third, I think it's wildly hypocritical that people are criticizing the ending of this movie, because historically there is so much valid criticism of gay representation in films as being that of tragic nature (as in, most gay characters in mainstream movies aren't given happy endings). This movie sticks with a very classic happy ending for our main couple in a traditional rom-com Holiday movie. Isn't that what we want? 

2. The Hunt - *spoilers* I expected this to be insane; I just wasn't sure how insane. It's basically a Goddamn shit-show, really. It's a literal fight between the "Deplorables" and the "Snowflakes" except the "Snowflakes" have turned into the "Deplorables" because the "Deplorables" accused them of something heinous in a wacky conspiracy theory so they decided to make the conspiracy theory a reality. Truly a shit-show. However, it's also a little bit fun - the dark humor works really well, there are some great kill scenes (and also extremely surprising - Just as I thought "ooooh I didn't know they were in this!" Boom *dead*. And on a side-note - it's obvious who the brunette is in the beginning because her name is listed in the opening credits and she's THE MOST FAMOUS ONE. Why did they bother trying to make it a surprise?). Betty Gilpin leads the whole movie, and she is great (as always), but it's hard to root for her (or anyone, really), so the twist at the end is definitely necessary. It's all beyond ridiculous and stupid, but entertainingly so. And I think that's what they set out to do, so ultimately it is a successful movie. 

3. Nocturne - *spoilers* Another Blumhouse Production on Amazon. While I liked it better than The Lie, it still feels like it's in the same universe as it, and of movies that are trying to be deeper than they actually are. It's like an amateur version of Black Swan and Whiplash. I like the idea of jealousy and greed destroying you (mentally and physically), and I think it's even more complicated when the person that you are seen as "lesser than" is your twin sister. It's sibling rivalry taken to the extreme. There are a few really great scenes - like the "coming at me" scene - the music is haunting and the beats hit just right. The ending is also very stunning (and makes the already beautiful poster downright chilling). But ultimately it feels immature, and a little bit like a soap opera (sleeping with her sister's barely ex-boyfriend instantly makes her unlikable. And ugh, what a shitty first time - with someone who is clearly an asshole, on the floor, for 30 seconds. I truly feel bad for this girl). I'm pretty disappointed with these movies, so far, but I'll give one more a go (I'm thinking Black Box?). 

4. Hillbilly Elegy - The discourse around this movie is a little bit embarrassing, to be honest. I don't read full reviews of movies until after I watch the movie - but I saw snippets of some incredibly harsh reviews for this, so my expectations were managed. Overall, I think this movie is ok - a three star movie (which is how I feel about most movies - a majority of them range between 2.5 and 3 stars). Amy Adams gives another stellar performance, and ultimately carries the movie. It's a little cheesy, predictable, and it doesn't really have anything new to offer. However, as far as the reviews and discussions about this movie, I have some concerns. So, a big one that went around is that this movie "throws all its women under the bus to save one man", which is true, but the story is a "true story" based on this "one man's" memoir - so what's the problem, exactly? He very clearly shows all the sacrifices the women around him make in order for him to be successful. And that HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE. Like, what the fuck world do people live in? Women, especially mothers, sacrifice their lives all the time for their sons (or husbands) because men have a BETTER CHANCE at being successful. It's so weird to me that people are upset that a movie is showcasing sexism...that exists, arguing that it's sexist? But....but...that's the POINT. Another criticism is that this story would have been seen differently if the family weren't white. Which, again, is true. But the story is again a "true story" about a poor, white family. Were they supposed to somehow include commentary on race? (The answer is no.) And the third discussion I saw is that the scene showing his credit card declining is inaccurate and a misconception because poor people know exactly how much money they have. I agree with that sentiment (poor people are actually better at knowing their finances than rich people, for the most part), but I also think that the point is that he's using credit cards as his means of survival because he has no money (even with scholarships and loans, he has an overwhelming amount of expenses). And credit cards are essential to poor people, but they are also what keeps poor people...poor. Couldn't the discourse be around that? Something that is actually an important discussion? Also, there are levels of poor - and I don't think it's ever implied that this family is living in poverty (I saw some suggest The Florida Project for a more accurate depiction of poor, but while it's great, it's definitely about a different level of poor). Anyway, I'm done I think (and I didn't even get into the whole judgement based on politics part! It's just all too much). 

5. Sound of Metal - I really loved this movie. First, Riz Ahmed is incredible. Second, ditto for Olivia Cooke (but whyyyyy the bleached eyebrows...whyyyyy???). Third, it's just a really great story of losing something that feels like an essential part of who you are, and having to learn how to live without it. It's applied to this story as the main character, a heavy-metal drummer, suffers from sudden hearing loss and it's recommended that he avoid loud noises - causing him to give up one of his biggest passions (and career). But, I think the story can be applied to literally any situation and is therefore very relatable. Both Ahmed and Cooke create fully fleshed out characters, suffering from heartbreak and fear of this inevitable conclusion to this part of their lives. As it ended, I noticed Derek Cianfrance's name as one of the writers and executive producers and said to myself "yeah, that tracks" (if you've seen his movies, you'll understand). There are also some stunning shots and exceptional use of sound (or lack thereof). Also, on a slightly related note - it has been on my list for a long time, but I think this next year I'm going to learn sign language. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. His House - Ok, so I read SO MANY good things about this movie...and I...don't get it. I like the plot and the original idea behind it A LOT (asylum seekers move into a house that has supernatural qualities), but the actual movie is really average. There's a lot of allegorical images, and has interesting themes of survival and sacrifice, cultural identities vs assimilation, etc., but like I've said many times - supernatural horror just never does anything for me. I did find out the BIG news while watching this (that Biden won), so I paused it for a bit to digest, and I admit, it was super hard to concentrate on it once I restarted it. But I also think that it's just really hard to concentrate on anything this year - but if something is actually really good it should hold my attention. But, maybe I just need to watch it again to see what all the fuss is about (but I really, really don't want to). I do think the acting is really great, as expected - Wunmi Mosaku is having an excellent year with this and Lovecraft Country and I recognize Sope Dirisu from Humans. But overall, I can't help but be disappointed. 

2. First Cow - I'm not really a big fan of this movie either. I probably should have looked into a little more before hitting "play" because I really wasn't in the mood for a Western. I always hear great things about Kelly Reichardt as a director, but the only movie I've seen of hers is Wendy and Lucy (which I gave an impressive 4 stars, but I have no recollection of it at all). Her other movies are on THE LIST. This is definitely well-made, except the sound feels a bit weird towards the middle (some of the dialogue is louder and not as clear in certain parts which doesn't feel like it was done on purpose because...what would the purpose be?). I like that it's a quiet and reserved story, but it is just really boring, and I can't take that actor seriously (he's the dorky guy from Orange is the New Black and The Umbrella Academy, and now you want me to take him seriously as an actor? NOPE, it just can't be done). I think, once again, my expectations were just too high. And it's also just not a story that I feel any connection to. 

3. Bill & Ted Face the Music - I have not seen Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure in well over 20 years, but I thought I enjoyed it to an extent. I also have a fondness for it because I lived in San Dimas for a little while so it was ingrained in my brain as iconic. I don't think I ever watched the sequel (but based on this movie, I may have just blocked it out). This is a really, really, really painful watch. It's just dreadful. Absolutely dreadful. I had a glimmer of hope when I first spotted Samara Weaving (I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS IN THIS!!), and both her and Brigette Lundy-Paine are definitely the best part of the movie - and I honestly would have preferred a spin-off with just them (and maybe a small cameo appearance by Keanu and Alex). Because the biggest problem is definitely Keanu and Alex - neither of whom can actually act (I adore Keanu, but again, facts are facts). They have absolutely terrible comedic timing - it seemed like they were really struggling to remember their lines, but it was ok to just go with it because they're supposed to be potheads, but it is offensively bad. And Kid Cudi...really? Could they not get anyone better than Kid Cudi? (sidenote: I do not know who Kid Cudi is...). 

4. On the Rocks - Oh no, I just realized that I didn't like any movie in this post. Ugh, I hate when that happens. This one is probably the best of the 5, but it still bored me a little and the story is kind of dumb. I've said it before, but I want to like Sofia Coppola movies, but I always find them dull and pretentious (I did like Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides, but I didn't love them. Sadly, I hate ever other one of her films). And Bill Murray is just going to ride this old, sarcastic, curmudgeon shtick until he dies, isn't he? And it's sickening that we're supposed to see him as charming or believe that the women in this movie find him charming (sorry, but in real life when old men hit on 20 year olds, it's vomit-inducing and I promise you that women do not feel flattered by it). The story is really aggravating - it's about a woman who starts to believe that her husband is cheating on her (and is egged on by her father insisting that he definitely is because "he's a male". Cool, cool, cool). So, instead of just being a fucking grown-up and asking him about it, telling him about her insecurities, etc. she starts to spy on him. I won't give away the plot, but it ends EXACTLY how you  expect it to, and is then turned into a father/daughter bonding film - which just makes the whole thing worse. I guess we're supposed to forgive her father for almost ruining her marriage because he was just doing it to spend "quality" time with her? Give me a fucking break. I did like some things about it - like Rashida Jones (she's great!) and I don't feel like I've seen Marlon Wayans in anything in so long, and I've definitely not seen him in such an adult-like role. I also think the dialogue is really great and thought-provoking about how difficult marriage can be - and how important simple communication is to a relationship (except all the anti-men "all men cheat" talk. That's just bullshit and I'm so sick of it).

5. Greyhound - I was actually excited about this, but then it was released only on Apple TV+, which I thought meant I would never see it (don't get me started on Apple, but just FYI - I will never give them money. Never, ever.). I received a free year subscription so I (hesitantly) accepted because there are a few projects that I really want to see (both this and On the Rocks, plus in a twist of fate - my pretend husband's (Taron Egerton) next film was bought by them and was announced the day that I signed up. Hoping they can film and edit it within a year...*crosses fingers*). Anyway, this shit is boring as fuck. I was so disappointed because it looks like it should be really intense and gripping but I honestly almost fell asleep. Elisabeth Shue is in it for mere seconds, and the rest of the cast all blended together - I couldn't even tell you anything about any of them. Also, the ocean and the waves look terribly fake. Another movie to add to the Worst of 2020 list. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Rebecca - I like this movie - I think it's a very solid 3 star film, but I think expectations were just very high, and people had a lot of preconceived notions of what this movie should be, hence the mostly mediocre reviews. I'm also in love with Lily James, so that obviously makes me a little biased. I also think people are getting way too hyped up about people categorizing it as a "remake". It technically IS a remake. I'm reminded of the time I called the 2013 Carrie movie a "remake" and I was "corrected" - "it's a reimagining of the novel!" (LOL Whatever, dude). I just feel like if a story is already told in a certain medium then it's a remake - even if it goes back to the original source. Chances are the creator, and everyone involved in the movie has seen the previous version and will be influenced by it to make "their" version - even if it's simply to avoid things from the previous version or to specifically do things different. You can't deny that you will have the previous version in your mind. And if you pretend like you don't, then you're lying to yourself. The only way this theory doesn't work is if NOBODY working on the new version has seen the previous version - and if anyone working in the film industry hasn't seen Hitchcock's version, then they should all be shunned altogether from this industry (harsh, but fair I think). Anyway, obviously I appreciate when someone takes a story and refers to the original source. I just don't really feel like Ben Wheatley does anything special with this. It's all very straight-forward and it doesn't feel like Wheatley's style at all, but it's still very well made. It also becomes quite boring about an hour again, instead of building suspense, I was sort of over it. I think Lily does a great job. I can take or leave Armie Hammer - he's a little dull in this, instead of charming. I'm also not really a fan of the ending - I think we are supposed to see this as a "happy" conclusion, but I would have preferred a more dubious ending.

2. The Addams Family (2019) - I was honestly a little disappointed with this because I thought it would be much better. It's really...blah. And completely forgettable. There's a few very funny lines, though (like the woman who sits on the toilet backwards. What the F? I couldn't stop laughing), but the best gag happens within the first 5 minutes of the movie (the perfectly timed "Welcome to NJ" sign). Also, Chloe Grace Moretz does a fabulous job voicing Wednesday. Just the perfect amount of sarcasm and boredom in her voice. Everyone else is...fine? Nobody else really stands out. But, I do wish Charlize would stop doing voice-work. I love her, but her voice is so monotonous - it works for Morticia, but I hated it in Kubo. I'm surprised this is getting a sequel because I don't really remember anyone talking about it. 

3. Inherit the Viper - Oh hey, this is the first opportunity I have to tell my Josh Hartnett story! I can't believe that I've been writing on this blog for over 10 years, and Josh Hartnett hasn't come up - where the fuck has he been?? So, Josh went to the same college as me, just three years before (in fact, he is exactly three years older than me, as we share the same birthday. And you better believe that 17 year old me thought for sure that was a sign that we were meant to be together or something). It's a very small state school, so it was a super big deal when people became famous (like Edie Falco, Stanley Tucci, Melissa Leo), but Josh Hartnett was a Drama Studies major (again, same as me) who realized after a year that the whole thing was bullshit, and he dropped out. Within a YEAR of him dropping out, he became a super famous heartthrob starring in some of the biggest blockbuster movies of the summer, and our professors HATED him for it (there were also rumors that he actually tried out for the super exclusive Acting Conservatory and didn't get in, which is hilarious, if true). So, by the time I got there, he was like this myth that nobody was supposed to talk about. Sometimes I would sit in class, listening to people analyze Othello for the billionth time and think "maybe I should just drop out - things worked out for Josh Hartnett, they could work out for me too" (I picked Othello for this example for a reason - remember the movie O with Hartnett? I LOVED IT!). Unfortunately, I stuck it out, but it was all complete and utter bullshit, and I have so much respect for Hartnett for following his gut. Anyway, back on track, Michelle. I like this movie - the cast is really strong (the girl who played Amanda Clarke on Revenge is SO GOOD - I don't think I've ever seen her in anything else), the pace accelerates quicker than I was expecting, and the ending is really dark, which I wasn't expecting. It felt Shakespearian (which is fitting!). I didn't like that a lot of it is filmed in the dark - I don't know why anyone thinks this is a good idea. I can never see ANYTHING. 

4. Over the Moon - I appreciate Netflix's attempt to compete with Pixar and other animation studios, but this is...not good. The beginning starts off cute (and in a very typical kids fairytale way), but once she goes to the moon it just takes a deep dive into shockingly terrible territory. The animation gets super trippy (and cheap looking), to the point where I felt like I needed to be on drugs to understand what was happening. One of the characters is literally unidentifiable - is Gobi supposed to be a hedgehog? The internet is calling him a "space puppy" whatever that means, but he has spikes and curls into a ball for no reason. The songs are not good, even the one featuring Chang'e because it is a clear nod to Hamilton (and NO THANK YOU!). And there is a scene with rabbits that is super confusing - the moon rabbit transferred his powers to the Earth rabbit, I think? Although I'm not sure how or why. I do like that it's centered around Chinese culture and mythology, featuring an all Asian cast of voice actors. However, I'm guessing that it is very Americanized. 

5. Emma. - I can't say that I remember the one with Gwyneth Paltrow, but for some reason I think that I liked it? But my favorite Emma rendition is definitely Clueless (OBVI). I enjoyed this version - I was hoping that it had more of a modern Romeo + Juliet ala Baz Luhrmann sort of vibe to it, and it doesn't. It's extremely straightforward and typical, but it still has this spark that makes it entertaining. Mostly because Anya Taylor-Joy is an absolute joy to watch. She's incredible in everything I've seen her in, even movies that I don't like such as The VVitch. She has some really great energy and facial expressions in this that are just absolute perfection. There are also a few other aspects that I really like - like the scene with the man getting fully dressed. They always show this scene with women - with the assistant tightening the corset, etc., so it is really refreshing to see a male character shown in this way. It's also quite funny in some parts, like when Jane starts playing the piano. Bill Nighy is probably the comedic highlight, though. Also, the costume design is stunning. I have to find that pink bolero jacket Emma wears to the wedding in the beginning (apparently it's called a "spenser" jacket. Learn something new everyday!). I've had no luck finding it or anything similar in a reasonable price range, but I am determined. I NEED IT. I think the weakest link is definitely Mia Goth. I usually like her, but she doesn't fit the role at all and she over-acts in this. I also did get very bored because the whole story is just uninteresting to me - matchmaking, catty friendships...ugh, as if! 

Thoughts on 5 TV Shows

1. The Third Day - Seriously boring. There are elements that are brilliantly done, but overall it moves at the pace of a Terrence Malick movie (that is not a compliment). It also reminds me a little of Twin Peaks with just really odd characters, confusing narrative, and mystery that feels like it's going nowhere (I do like Twin Peaks, though, but definitely not as much as others seem to). I really, really, really do love Jude Law though (I still haven't watched The Young Pope thing. I feel like every time I go to catch up on a tv show, there is something new to watch instead of going back to something slightly older. This is also why I haven't watched Succession yet). But he wasn't the highlight - that would be Naomie Harris. Her featured episode titled "The Mother" is the strongest of the series (although it's weird that they seem to think the ending would be a surprise. I assumed that's who they were from the first 2 seconds of the episode). The last episode is also strong, but Jude's hair is really wild and completely distracted me from the conclusion of the story. I honestly have no idea how it ends. But I'm hoping that it was truly the end and they keep it as a Limited Series and it's done so that I don't have to watch any more. 

2. Ratched - I definitely like this more than the other Ryan Murphy Netflix shows. I know he's been getting a lot of hate lately (from myself included) but there is no denying that he has super cool ideas and intentions. Sometimes they just go too far, or become almost a parody of what his brand is. And his brand is obviously to go too far, so, in that, he's pretty successful (even going back to the beginning - Nip/Tuck was fucking crazy). I like the idea of giving back stories to iconic characters - it's more creatively inspiring than just remaking something, in my opinion. I am also surprised at how Hitchcockian it feels - there are certain scenes that feel like they were literally copied from classic Hitchcock scenes. I think the acting is a little off-putting. EVERYONE over-acts except Sarah Paulson (who is perfect, as per usual). I do like that Murphy stays true to his cast and keeps casting people in unpredictable roles (and they usually end up surprisingly wonderful). It always makes me a little sad, though because I feel like if Cory Monteith were still alive, he would surely have taken part in some of these projects (I could picture him specifically in Hollywood). Ugh...I miss him so much. 

3. The Right Stuff - Overall, exactly what I was expecting. I thought it would be like a wholesome, kind of cheesy, "fluffy" dramatic series about the Mercury Seven. And even with all of the cheating stuff, it's still feels like an extremely wholesome show. It's a Disney+ show, so it's just not the kind of show that's going to dive deep into the emotions and possible darkness of these men. Plus, the whole astronaut wives thing was already done (the show was literally called The Astronaut Wives Club. I didn't watch it because it sounded so boring.). The entire reason I watched this show is because of Patrick J. Adams and Jake McDorman. I love them both so much and they shine equally in every episode. The only thing I've really connected to, though, is the scenes with the niece they've adopted because her mother dies. Him showing her how to raise the American flag is done really well (I almost teared up. Almost.). I hate that it's released as a weekly show. I appreciate the weekly series format still, and I rarely binge more than three episodes of the same show at a time, but I feel if we are paying extra for these streaming services then they should release it all at once and let the audience choose how they want to consume it. 

4. Monsterland - I love the anthology idea (I'm still thinking about certain episodes of The Romanoffs), but this series is really inconsistent. I absolutely love 2 episodes, and another one is solidly strong, but that's only 3 episodes - out of 8. The other 5 episodes are...just awful. I like that the running theme is about actual monsters (like literal "monsters", and also, more importantly, human "monsters"), but I also think the fact that it is all based in reality keeps the idea really strong. Each story is told quietly and is very character driven (I guess it's kind of like Black Mirror, but more realistic even thought it's about monsters, which is weird). I'll focus on the good episodes (for now...) because I'm hopeful that if it continues, it tells more stories like this. The best episode is quite clearly the third episode "New Orleans, Louisiana". It's downright bone-chilling. First, Nicole Beharie gives an Emmy-worthy performance. It's stunning and I will remember it forever. Her denial at her son's accusations (and truth) is just heartbreaking - when he says "he knew you would keep your mouth shut". UGH...it just hits so fucking hard. I'm emotional just thinking about it. The other superb episode is "Plainfield, Illinois". Taylor Schilling is great, and I just really like that it's a love story centered around someone who is bipolar. Again, there is one bone-chilling line that I remember forever ("You're the one who left me in the bathtub"). And finally, I think the first episode featuring Kaitlyn Dever is also a strong introduction to the series. I really like her (and she's the reason I even watched this show), and she is a recurring character (I think she's in four episodes?). I wasn't a big fan of her accent, though. It sounded more like she was trying to do this Hollywood glamour type accent instead of a southern accent. Otherwise, she's great. Plus the first episode also has Jonathon Tucker! Love him. 

5. The Undoing - What an incredible pilot episode! I haven't felt this way in quite sometime (although I did recently enjoy the pilot for Lovecraft Country, but it was only really the last 20 minutes that really captured my attention). I wasn't sure what this show was about - just that it starred Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant and I thought that was an interesting combo. I didn't see any commercials so I had no idea that it was about a murder. I assumed, obviously, that he was cheating on his wife with the weird woman because he left "on an emergency medical situation" (he's a doctor), quite soon after the woman left. But I was not expecting her to die (and very brutally). Something about it reminds me of Damages - which is one my favorite series ever. Nicole Kidman has one of the most consistent resumes of any actress - she has had at least one project (and sometimes multiple projects) every year for like 25 years. And they are (mostly) good! Plus, she sings the opening credit song and it is so beautiful. I've always liked Hugh Grant, too (he's made some mistakes in his past life, but there are so many people doing so many worse things and getting away with it). He's quite good at bringing the charm to any role. Also, I like the mystery about the weird girl - she's definitely spoken about as "weird", but I think we'll discover that she has reasons behind her "weirdness" (although I don't think her breastfeeding in front of a group of women in a house is weird? And it's disturbing that so many were uncomfortable, but I think they will delve into that a bit more too). My other thoughts are that it's filmed beautifully - the shot from the outside with Nicole standing inside the high-rise building is so stunning. And Nicole's wardrobe is to die for (haha get it To Die For? I'm hilarious). But seriously, that rainbow pleated dress is God-tier. The fact that I have so much to say and it's only been one episode is really exciting to me. I can't wait for more. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Gretel & Hansel - Atmospherically creepy, but ultimately just really, really boring. After 15 minutes, I completely lost interest to even follow the very simple plot. The main girl is very striking and has great screen presence (she's also the girl that plays Beverly in the It movies - and even though I didn't like those movies, she definitely had a great presence there too). That's probably the only positive thing I have to say? It might even end up as my worst movie of the year? Just because it's so boring and pointless. Although, I did smile at the line "Guests?...I'd rather have roaches" because same girl, SAME. 

2. The Last Thing He Wanted - Another one of those movies that has an A-list cast (Anne Hathaway, Ben Affleck) that just appears on Netflix without me hearing a single peep about it. I assumed that this was probably bad, so it was just released quietly. Although, it's also directed by Dee Rees, so I'm surprised that it is, in fact, bad. I loved Pariah; didn't love Mudbound, but it's still a well-made film. This, however, is just really messy, dull and unnecessarily confusing. Aside from the confusing narrative, it's also really confusing as to why she wears a scarf slung over her shoulder for most of the movie. I realized that it's in reference to her Breast Cancer, and I think it's supposed to be like a cover for the fact that she's had a masectomy (there is a topless scene where this becomes fact). But, it doesn't make sense because the scarf only covers her shoulder - and she very clearly has both tits for the whole movie; obviously, in real-life, women can get bras that are 1/2 filled to simulate the appearance of a breast, if they choose to do this, so maybe that's what they were trying to imply, but then WHY THE SCARF? And I thought maybe I'm over-thinking things (anything to distract me from the terrible movie that I was watching), and maybe it has nothing to do with Breast Cancer, and instead the scarf thing is just a nod to the author of the book, Joan Didion, who is a fairly famous novelist, but also known as a bit of a fashion icon and scarf wearer, but I googled it and found NO images of her wearing a scarf in such a ridiculous manner. Also, Ben Affleck has like one line for the whole first hour of the movie. He doesn't even become an important character until the last 20 minutes or so, which is weird. 

3. Always Be My Maybe - Super, super cute movie. Completely cheesy, predictable rom-com fluff, but ultimately it's enjoyable and that's what matters. Plus, the whole thing with Keanu Reeves is fucking hilarious and just downright genius. I love that he agreed to do this because it totally makes it seem like Keanu is an elitist asshole (he orders "the concept of time" off a dinner menu and says his childhood crush was Mother Teresa), but I guess we all know that's not true so it just makes it *that* much more perfect. I really like the overall story and character arcs, I laughed quite a bit ("smoking weed and dancing in front of a mirror" and then his dad starts dancing - I died), and it feels very genuine (having sex in a beat-up Toyota Corolla with D'Angelo playing in the background? That doesn't bring back ANY memories AT ALL. Ahem. *coughs*). Also, Daniel Dae Kim is fucking fine - he looks even better than he did on Lost! And Michelle Buteau really steals every scene that she is in. There are a few things that annoyed me (surprise, surprise) - like them playing the teenage versions of themselves - sorry, but they do not pass for teenagers. And UGH Charlyne Yi. I was hoping she disappeared from the film world, but NOPE. Oh, and I always hate when skinny women in movies wear spanx. Like, there is no way in the world you need spanx. I mean, I don't even think any woman needs spanx, but if it makes you feel better, than go for it. However, it's ridiculous to show someone skinny using them because there is NO fat to even suck in. SO DUMB. 

4. The Lie - I'm kind of lost on the whole Blumhouse Productions thing, but there are like a ton of new horror movies on Amazon Prime and I'm excited to watch the rest of them. This definitely feels like a made-for-tv movie, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I like this story (a lot) and Mireille Enos and Peter Sarsgaard are so fantastic, and then, a spectacular twist makes this very mediocre movie memorable. *slight spoiler alert* The "lie" is not the lie you think it is. I think it could have developed a little further into a tale of teenage selfishness and peer pressure, because ultimately it's not as intense as it should have been. And I like Joey King, but she is definitely the weak link, acting-wise. She seems a little too immature for the age that she is supposed to be (and also...stupid). Also *more spoilers*, the whole hit and run bit is really, really dumb. Did they think they were going to get away with it? Did they leave the body in the street? Why did they wait until the morning to clean the car? It just doesn't make any sense, but it could have easily been done in a better, more believable way. It feels lazy. 

5. The Trial of the Chicago 7 - Ridiculously timely and relevant - it's fascinating that this went into production before this year, because I can't think of a better time than 2020 for this story to be resurfaced. I've always heard about "The Chicago 7 (or 8, as they are often referred to as)", but I never really dove deep into their stories. It's so interesting that they all didn't really even know each other, and yet they were on trial for conspiracy charges. Sorkin does a great job - the dialogue is very Sorkin; it's fast-paced, witty and compelling. The huge cast is all given time to shine (some out-perform others), and the characters are all fully developed. Other than that, though, it is a little cliched and just a very typical courtroom drama. It's set-up from the beginning to emotionally manipulate the audience, and it definitely succeeds - especially in the end moments with the reading out of the names of soldiers who died in Vietnam. It's a powerful "movie moment", for sure, but it feels extremely manipulative (and it's not even true...). I think it's another movie that is being hyped up as better than it is, just because so little has been released this year. Still good, though.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Gloria Bell - I enjoyed this movie - it's so rare to see a film starring a woman in her 50s happily living life to the fullest. She makes being this age look FUN. Like, I want to be her in 15 years (Hell, I want to be her now - she's certainly having more fun than I am). Also, I just looked up how old Julianne Moore is and she's going to be 60 this year. Holy shit. She's fucking stunning. The movie is cute. I like that's it about a relationship that doesn't work out, but she doesn't let it destroy her (and the moment at the end when she gets "revenge" is just so good. It made me laugh for days). I also like the small family moments; it all feels very real and authentic. I wasn't expecting to see Michael Cera, but he's been missed. 

2. Velvet Buzzsaw - I didn't know what this movie was about - only that it was a Nightcrawler reunion (written & directed by Dan Gilroy, starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Rene Russo) and that's enough to peak my interest. I was not expecting it to be a haunted art story, nor was I expecting it to be so outlandishly absurd. It held my interest though, because it's super weird, really well acted (Toni Collette is also in it - and she is the best!), and I had no idea where the story was going. The opening credits are also super cool. I like the dialogue around art and art "snobs" - honestly going to art galleries is the worst (and it shouldn't be) because people are so fucking snooty. It's hard for me to enjoy things like that. There is also some strong opinions on critics (*spoiler* as a "bad" review causes someone to kill themselves). It's tough because I understand the work and energy that artists put into their creations and it's something so personal - to have it publicly shit on by critics is probably really devastating, but I also think we should be able to discuss art freely without worrying about people's feelings. There's a way to do it that's respectful, though, and I don't think that's considered nowadays. I'm guilty of it myself, but I'm also not a professional critic and have very little reach in the world. Anyway, this movie goes a little off the rails for my taste - but like I said, I was completely invested for the whole thing. It's certainly intriguing. 

3. Never Rarely Sometimes Always - *spoilers* I like this movie, even though I have a hard time with the subject matter and I also think the timeline of events is confusing (possibly editing issues? More on this in a minute). I think it's really important to tell stories like this - of real women who have to face the toughest decision of their lifetime. It's so easy to judge someone else's decisions but in reality there is so much "grey" and I guarantee you that no woman makes the decision lightly. I like that they make this girl's story very grey - we have no idea how she got pregnant. I assumed in the beginning that she may have been raped by her father (a very strange, tense relationship is implied), but she also admits to having multiple sexual partners in her questionnaire. This scene is probably the best of the whole film - it's so quiet, but stunning in the way that it depicts what life is like for many young girls. The "never, rarely, sometimes, always" questions and answers will break your heart. And the way the counselor is so soothing in her questions with no judgement in her voice is so wonderful (I hope that's how they are all trained, but sadly I don't think that's the case). I also like how they showed how alone this girl is (even though she has her cousin, she has NO adults supporting her which is devastating). I was shocked by a few things, though. The way she is treated in the clinic in PA is disgusting but also confusing - why did she go there? It's a place designated to convince women to not have abortions. I find it hard to believe that a fully capable 17 year old wouldn't have done some research first? And I don't understand why they lied and told her she was less far along in the pregnancy than she actually is. If they are going to lie, wouldn't they tell her the opposite? As in, sorry you're too far along for an abortion anyway so you have no choice? But then, I was actually shocked by NY abortion laws. Honestly, I don't keep up with abortion laws, but I had no idea NY is 24 weeks for abortions. I thought 12 weeks was the standard, and anything after that was emergency based only. And they will do abortions on minors without parental consent? EEEEK. I have...no comment, other than EEEEK. Anyway, back to the timeline thing - I don't understand why they sleep in NY the one night, but then go home in between the 2 day procedure? It doesn't make any sense. Where did they sleep? At home? And how did they get the money to go back again? I feel like scenes were either cut, or they changed the timeline in the middle of making the movie. (also side note: I know NYC has changed a lot over the past 15 or so years, but I can't tell you how many times from 2000-2005 I slept on the floor of Grand Central Station and never had a problem with authorities - drunk girls and train schedules don't get along well. You miss the last train out and you are fucked). I have two other comments - first, I thought for a little while that this movie took place in the 90s because of how they are dressed - flannel shirts, chokers, Dr Martens, but then I remembered that the 90s are back (fucking kill me). And second, the main actress, Sidney Flanigan, is stunning, especially for a debut performance. She also has a wonderful voice. The song she sings in the beginning is so beautiful. 

4. The Glorias - Truly unexpectedly awful (also complete coincidence that I watched two movies in the same week in which Julianne Moore plays a woman named "Gloria"). I have so many issues with this movie, it's hard to decide where to begin. I guess my biggest problem is with Alicia Vikander. I actually really like her, but she is in way over her head with this iconic role. It's quite embarrassing to be honest. There is such a stark difference in emotional impact when you compare her Gloria with Moore's Gloria; especially in the scenes in which they share the screen. Another issue I have is that the title implies that she is different people at different points in her life - which is an excellent idea for a biopic, but instead the film is fairly straightforward and I never really see a change in character other than getting older and wiser. I don't like the scenes in which she confronts her younger self because honestly it's just plain dumb (Rocketman did this too, although minimally, and its probably the only fault I can find in that film). The film completely lacks focus, which I think can be said of Gloria, herself. She really had her hand in EVERY issue regarding feminism - which is great, but also, at times ineffective. I read the book that this is based on (My Life on the Road), and it doesn't feel as chaotic as this movie, but it's much harder to boil someone like Steinem down to 2 1/2 hours (and of course, it's way too fucking long!). Gloria was involved in the making of this (as it's based on her memoir and she shows up at the end -which is completely unnecessary), which is ultimately the thing that irks me the most. There is no critical thought - Steinem is literally portrayed as a fucking saint (and even in the moments in which she is criticized, it's used to gain sympathy for her). As I said with my thoughts on Mrs. America, I adore Gloria - she is a legend, but she's not perfect; I would have appreciated a biopic that shows her faults along with her accomplishments. Also, it's been so long since I've seen Barbra Streisand, that I actually questioned who this woman doing the bad Streisand impression was. I can't believe I didn't recognize that that's actually her. I feel so dumb. OH and I also forgot that Steinem married for a little while and wondered to myself what happened to her marriage so I googled it - and was dumbfounded in realizing that Steinem was married to Christian Bale's dad!!! How insane is that? He died of Cancer four years into their marriage. Anywho - this movie will probably make it into my Worst of 2020 list just because it bothered me that much.

5. Cats - I'm truly speechless. I'm not sure how anyone ever thought this was a good idea anyway? Like, what dumbass really thought that this idea would work on screen? And how did so many people go along with it? Like actual talented people (Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellen, JUDY DENCH!). It's not even one of those movies that is entertainingly bad - it's an assault on your senses. When it was over, my eyes hurt from wincing at the awful, awful special effects and I felt actual pain in my eardrums from what I guess was singing from people who CAN'T sing (like James Corden and Rebel Wilson). Thank God they had Jennifer Hudson sing the most famous (and probably most difficult) song "Memory". I've never seen the Broadway play (and you'd think it would be right up my alley seeing that I love Broadway and I love cats, but it never appealed to me. It always seemed a bit creepy instead of cute). It doesn't seem like there is an actual plot, though? I honestly couldn't tell you what it's about. I also don't understand why they all have different accents but it takes place in London (how did the American cats get there??). And...are some of them wearing FUR COATS? Is it cat fur? Why would they need a fur coat if they naturally have fur???? The scaling of objects is really off too. Oh and I have nothing against Taylor Swift, but casting her as a "vixen" is just one of the many, many, many terrible decisions. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Invisible Man - *spoilers ahead* For some odd reason, I've been watching a lot of Elisabeth Moss stuff - this and Shirley in the same week, plus I started & finished season one of The Handmaid's Tale (it's great but so depressing and anxiety-inducing). I do not like her, but I can't argue that she chooses to participate in some wonderful projects. I heard some incredible things about this movie, which seemed hard to believe, but most of them are actually true! I am very critical of films that deal with domestic abuse (my college thesis project was a deep dive into films with this topic, like Sleeping with the Enemy and typical Lifetime movies, and then I attempted to write a screenplay that fixed my issues. It was hard.). But I think this movie attempts to show how dangerous and psychopathic abusive men are - and it's not as easy to "just leave" as many seem to think it is. I *do* have to point out that this woman has the advantage of having support from her sister (in her initial escape, as well as figuring out shelter), AND she doesn't have children (which changes everything). But the beginning sequence is rightfully intense - with just the right amount of suspense, and horror movie jump-scares. Then, the movie successfully turns into a full-blown horror movie - it's a bit ridiculous, but it's also all done very well. I like the use of the camera as "the other" perspective - it makes it super creepy. The biggest success is that she figures out the *twist* that he is in fact alive, and invisible, pretty quickly so it's not a big reveal at the end. The movie quickly turns from a horror movie into a psychological thriller about this man actively destroying this woman's life (I did not see *that* scene with the sister coming AT ALL. Holy shit). Overall, I think this movie is very well done (even if I still don't like Moss). I do have about a MILLION questions about some of the plot points - like - if, as she states "nobody knows I'm here" and she received a letter, then wouldn't they have moved her? Because someone obviously did if she received mail. Did she know that he was working specifically with invisibility? Because I would never just assume that an invisible person was stalking me. It's like believing in ghosts. I would assume that I was hallucinating and I would instantly be like "lock me away, it's finally happening". Also, why did the sister believe that nasty email? And speaking of the sister, why the fuck is she so rude to the waiter for absolutely no reason? And even something so minor as the *open* can of paint just laying around really bothers me. Great, now my brain hurts. 

2. A Hidden Life - I'm such a fucking sucker for watching and hating Terrance Malick movies. This one is no different. It's just like EVERY OTHER Malick movie - way too long (3 FUCKING hours), absolutely stunning cinematography, monotonous narration, and repetitive shots of people laying in tall grass and petting each other and grasping hands (seriously, at least 6000 of these shots). I couldn't even tell you what the movie is about - other than he goes to war, and it's sad. It's all just pure torture. I don't even have anything else to say - it's just so tiring, and yet I just keep getting sucked in. 

3. Replicas - This is a nice reminder for everyone that Keanu Reeves can't actually act. He just got really lucky with some iconic roles that don't require a whole lot of emotion, and is therefore a legend. I mean, I'm a huge Keanu fan, but facts are facts. This is one of the worst movies I've seen in a while, which is a shame because it has a great sci-fi plot. If it was done well, it could have been really fun. Instead, it is a chore to sit through. Basically, this guy is scientist who is working on transplanting human neural maps into androids, when suddenly his wife and three children are killed in a car crash. He, logically, decides to transfer their neural maps into clones essentially bringing his family back to life. That sounds awesome...right? I mean, dumb, but awesome. However, there are only three cloning pods, so he has to choose. The biggest problem is that he chooses to save his wife over one of his children. I guess it has to be done that way because he can conveniently "erase" his daughter from their memories, but it would be impossible to "erase" the wife, because then where did the children come from? But I think he could have figured it out because killing off your kid will always be the wrong choice. Anyway, the dialogue is also really awful. And then the plot goes completely off the rails once the "bad guy" twist happens. It's just hard to watch, really. 

4. Hamilton - Not technically a movie, but I thought I would include it with my film thoughts anyway since 2020 is such a weird year for the industry - anything goes at this point. I really had no interest in ever seeing this and I love going to Broadway, watching live productions (I was a Drama studies major for a reason). This just honestly looked horrendous to me, even with the almost unanimous praise for it. I still stand by my opinion that some of it is really...painful. Lin-Manual Miranda is obviously a talented writer, lyricist, and musician, but his voice is like nails on a chalkboard for me. I cringed during every one of his songs, and cringed harder during his rapping. I feel the same way with Leslie Odom Jr., so that's like two-thirds of the musical that I had a hard time enjoying. And the plot is...so...boring. HOWEVER, there is some great stuff to point out. The biggest highlight is Daveed Diggs and Jonathan Groff. Not only does Daveed have a stronger presence, he also can actually rap. And Jonathon has actually theater training that he puts to use - his voice has more power behind it, plus he has wonderfully exaggerated facial expressions that are necessary for live performances. I also enjoy Renee Elise Goldsberry (I recognize her from The Good Wife, but more importantly from Aly McBeal!). She has a great presence and strong voice, as well. Plus, her first song is one of the best of the whole production. I think the only other performance that I can say I truly enjoyed is the rap battle between Hamilton and Jefferson (simply because it's amusing). I will also say that the camera-work done to film this live performance is astounding, but I wonder if it hindered the live performance for the audience?

5. Enola Holmes - Super cute YA story. For me, I can't really say I enjoyed it because it seems a little immature, but I can see pre-teens enjoying this. There is a really sweet mother/daughter relationship in the beginning, and the mystery builds quite nicely. It's a little too long - there is just so much filler, so I got a little bored with it. The Fleabag connection (directed by Harry Bradbeer) is quite clear with the constant breaking of the fourth wall, but Millie Bobby Brown does a great job making it work. She's wonderful in this. She's super cute, has some great comedic moments, and holds your attention even through the dull bits. Henry Cavill is super stiff and boring, as per usual. Hot, but boring. I have no idea why anyone would want a spinoff with his Sherlock (I've read it's in discussion, but UGH...HOW, WHY?). Originally, I thought this was a new TV series, rather than a movie, and I think that would have actually worked better? Maybe as a short 8 episode mini-series? I think it would have helped the "mystery" bits, and it wouldn't have felt as boring. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. I'm Thinking of Ending Things - Charlie Kaufman, it's been a long time, and I was super excited to watch some weird shit (I didn't see Anomalisa and I hated Synecdoche, New York so much that I pretend that it doesn't exist). I successfully avoided any dialogue around this, so I went in completely blind. I assumed that the title referred to suicide, so I was a little disappointed that it's about a break-up (but...not). The beginning is intriguing, I guess, but also sort of annoying - it's all very odd and doesn't make sense, like why she can't remember how long they've been together - she thinks it's 7 weeks, but it could be 4, but either way, it's not long enough to meet the parents, yet. Especially if you're "thinking of ending things". And then she is seemingly horrified by what goes on at farms (um...is she stupid?). Things start to get interesting, pretty quickly though - the scratches on the door, the weird reaction from his parents, etc. I suddenly realized that I might be watching a horror film? A Charlie Kaufman horror movie?! How exciting! Only it doesn't turn out that way, either. I realized as soon as she looks at the photograph, what was happening - and while a narrative focusing on fragmented (and sometimes false) memories, is a great idea, my interest faded as soon as they get back in the car. The car ride is filmed during the dark, and I literally could not see anything for at least 10 minutes, plus the dialogue just goes round and round but never really accomplishes anything. Overall, it's similar to other Kaufman projects - original, odd, intellectual, and poetic. The dance sequence at the end is really emotional and beautiful. Jessie Buckley is great, but her American accent bothered me. Jesse Plemmons is also really strong - and he has such a beautiful voice! The highlight is Toni Collette (always and forever). 

2. Da 5 Bloods - Spike Lee is a legend, but I didn't love this movie. First, it's waaaay too long. They find what they are looking for an hour in, and it's excruciating to realize that there is still a whole hour and 35 minutes left. Second, it's basically Triple Frontier but this time the team is smarter - and they BURIED the money (btw, I didn't like Triple Frontier either). And third, are we supposed to ignore the fact that they should be 45 years younger in the flashbacks? Why didn't they get younger actors to play them? It's Chadwick Boseman and 4 old men fighting in the Vietnam War. It's just absolutely, stunningly ridiculous. But, there is some good stuff - the interspersed scenes of Trump rallies and present day news, is done really well (especially the part with the black guy in the background), and the dialogue is really natural and often hilarious (and the monologues are stunning). The cast is great - I expected that Chadwick was in it more, so that's disappointing, but Delroy Lindo gives a career best performance. I also think that it's a story perspective that we haven't really seen as the main focus for a movie - the Vietnam War told exclusively through the Black experience. 

3. Dora and the Lost City of Gold - I don't know much about Dora, but I thought this movie was going to be bigger. Maybe Dora isn't as popular with the young kids anymore? This movie is a super cute, treasure hunting, family friendly good time. I love this girl - Isabela Moner (but apparently her name changed to Isabela Merced? That's odd.), she is a terrific young actress and has such strong screen presence. Michael Pena steals the movie though - his rave music impression had me laughing so hard. How did they keep a straight face while he did that? I'm not the biggest fan of Eva Longoria (she said something extremely awful in my presence, but I keep it to myself because maybe she's a better person now? I sure hope so.). The story moves really quickly, and the twists are done really well (for a kid's movie). And it's kind of funny ("can you say severe neurotoxicity"?). I didn't really care for the CGI animals - they take you out of the story. Also, there is a really awkward drug scene in which they (accidentally) do drugs and turn into the cartoon versions of themselves and have a really good time (so...um...do drugs kids! It's fun!). And, there is a scorpion scene (fuck my life, I hate scorpions so much). 

4. The Devil All the Time - First, I have to say, thank God for Netflix. Getting to see new releases, safely at home, during this time has been a true saving grace for people like me. Three movies from this post are Netflix 2020 releases, and I am just so appreciative that we have this option, at the very least. Second - this is probably one of the strongest casts I've seen in a while. It's just (almost) perfect. The two highlights are Bill Skarsgard and Riley Keough. But the heart of the movie weighs heavily on Tom Holland, and he does an incredible job. I'm not sure why his acting abilities were ever questioned - he was the standout performance in The Impossible. I also think R. Patz did a great job. There's a lot of chatter about the accents (specifically Pattinson and Holland's), and I am usually a really tough critic when it comes to accents, but I thought they were both...fine? I think it's great when I can watch something and forget where the actor come from. And they both made me forget that they both are British, so to me, they are successful. However, I think Pattinson went a little overboard with the high pitched tone - and that's what people are reacting to. I read that he refused a dialect coach, which I find infuriating. You're getting paid in the millions, but refuse expert advice? That's so disrespectful and arrogant. Anyway, my only real problem, acting-wise is with Bucky (or how I will forever know him as - Carter Baizen, and no, I still don't know his real name). He just sticks out so much as the weak link. Third, I love the intertwining stories, the way the narrative unfolds, the ending - it's all so disturbing, intoxicating, and oddly moving. The way the preacher talks about "delusions", as the other scene happens, is so deeply heartbreaking. By far the best movie of this year (so far). 

5. Shirley - As you may already know, I'm not the biggest fan of Elisabeth Moss. I've read terrific things about her performance in this, but I also read that she was great in Her Smell and she is actually awful in that, so I had to see for myself. I'm going to disagree again - she over-acts and doesn't have any depth. But, I did enjoy a lot of this movie - everyone else is great (Logan Lerman, Odessa Young and Michael Stuhlbarg). I appreciate that it's not a typical biopic - I think we've surpassed the traditional biopic by now, let's get more creative biopics like this from now on, please. I like the focus on her depression, and her agoraphobia (I assume?). I can relate to her need to stay in bed all day (I can literally sleep all day; I think it terrifies people how easy it is for me to just give up on living). The sound design is wonderfully unsettling and intense. And Shirley's husband's disgust for mediocrity is fantastic ("terrifically competent. There's no excuse for that."). There is also a scene that is very memorable in which she confronts "the other woman" - it's done very well.