Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Conclave - I get why people are putting this in their Top 10 of the year lists. It's extremely well-made. Edward Berger definitely deserves a directing nomination for this. He knows how to make a visually interesting film, as seen with his All Quiet on the Western Front remake. There are shots that are simply stunning. The character blocking is incredible- which is not something I normally critique, but I did study film a long time ago, so stuff like this stands out to me, especially when it's done so well and with so much thought. I think my disappointment is with the actual story - I've seen The Two Popes and I've watched that tv series with Jude Law (The New Pope? The Hot Pope? I don't remember what it was called), so I feel like I've had my fill of pope stories for a while, if I'm honest. This whole thing is just a chore to sit through, as I could care less about the pope. Let's not pretend the whole entire system isn't corrupt. But, I do appreciate that the incredibly boring plot, plays out like a thriller - keeping it suspenseful and intense. I think the ending is really, really, really dumb, but I also appreciate the relevancy of the modern twist - which is what the papacy struggles with (modernity). Like I said, it's all very well-made, so I understand the love for it, but it's just not my cup of tea. I'll go along with Fiennes for the Oscar though because anyone is better than the other expected nominees. 

2. Maria - I kind of expected to not really like this because I didn't love Jackie (I did like Spencer, and I loved Ema and El Conde). The thing is, though, I don't really know much about Maria Callas, I didn't even know about the relationship with Aristotle Onassis (Jackie's husband). And, guess what? After watching this movie, I still don't feel like I know anything about her. She was an opera singer who had a public relationship with a married man? So what? She also seems like a narcissistic bitch, with the way she treats the people around her. I was waiting the whole time for this film to give me a reason for it to exist, and it never does. And, after looking at pictures of her, I don't think Angelia Jolie has even a tiny bit of resemblance to her. I don't have a better actress in mind, but there has to be someone who is of closer resemblance (I actually think Natalie Portman looks more like her than Jolie, but that would be weird to cast her as both Jackie Kennedy and Maria Callas. OR would that have been genius?? Hmmm...??). Jolie just has such strong, recognizable features and she's one of the most beautiful women in the world - a biopic is just automatically a bad casting move. But, she's probably going to get an Oscar nomination (and maybe even the win? Demi Moore should have that in the bag, but I guess we'll see how it all plays out soon). I just found this movie terribly boring. It was hard to stop myself from falling asleep. I actually was falling asleep but then the lantern scene in the rain happened and I woke up - some stunning imagery. But then it was over, and I started to doze off again. The ending with the dog crying over her dead body is so sad, though. It got me. 

3. Joker: Folie a Deux - I don't know why there was so much visceral hate towards this? It's...fine. I rated the first Joker 3 stars, and I've given this the same. I think the first one was elevated by Joaquin's phenomenal performance (he deserved that Oscar, but only because the best performance from 2019 wasn't nominated. *cough* Taron *cough cough*), but it was mostly a love letter to 70s films like Taxi Driver, The King of Comedy, etc. And this is the same - only the love letter is to Old Hollywood musicals, referencing Fred Astaire, and famous Hollywood couples, like Sonny & Cher. After watching, I actually agree with Todd Phillips that this is not a musical. It's a Drama with musical interludes. I appreciate that it's an unexpected turn for a Joker story. I enjoyed the concept, the dream-like sequences, and Lady Gaga's voice in some of the songs sounds angelic. Joaquin gives just as much to this performance as he does in the first. I think Hollywood is giving up on his antics (being difficult to work with, dropping out of projects last-minute, etc.), so he needs to shape up because he's one of the strongest actors currently working. I liked Lady Gaga in A Star is Born, but she can NOT act, and we need to stop pretending that she can. I think her casting only works to counter-balance the fact that Phoenix can't sing (like at all - his voice is far too gravelly and weak). But it also has very little substance or focus and almost feels like a waste of time. 

4. Fly Me to the Moon - This is a cute movie. It's not something I'll remember in a year or two, but I was entertained for the most part. I don't know HOW we haven't had a Scarlett Johansson/Channing Tatum led film before because they are absolutely PERFECT together. They need to do a rom-com STAT. It's got some great dialogue, really funny one-liners, Scarlett's dry sarcasm, and it's fast-paced. But it also should have been 90 minutes. I think I actually would have rated it a whole star higher if it had been edited down. Also, my husband, who is a big NASA space nerd, is very upset that this movie exists because it's going to amplify the conspiracy theorists "they faked the moon landing" nutjobs again. He came home from work while I was watching it and was legitimately mad that I was watching it (and enjoying it! LOL). There's literally a line that says "no-one will trust the legitimacy of NASA again" and he was like "SEEEEE!!". WHATEVER, HUBBY, it's just a movie, get over it! I will say that as much as I love the match-up between Tatum and Johansson, I do think that he feels a bit out of place in this world. And that haircut is FUNNY on him. He looks like a football player dressed up as a nerd for Halloween. That's all I really have to say about the movie, which is why I think it's going in the forgettable category. 

5. Red One - I thought FOR SURE that this was the worst movie I would see in 2024. I'm shocked that I just watched something worse (Dear Santa - 2024 Christmas movies can't catch a break!). But this is pretty bad. Like, one star bad. I hadn't seen much about it - just that it bombed at the box office and cost a lot of money to make. I just knew it was a Christmas movie with Chris Evans and The Rock, but as soon as the talking CGI polar bear appeared, I thought "oh no, I might not be able to watch this. It may actually be unwatchable". I've never been the biggest fan of Chris Evans - and I know that's a minority opinion. I just think he's boring. Very hot. But boring. The only film that I actually liked him in was that rom-com with Anna Faris (I think it was called What's Your Number?" or was that a different Faris movie?). I don't think he's a good actor - he just lucked out with the Captain America role. And people can argue all they want about his dramatic roles being good (I see a lot of love for his performance in Defending Jacob), but I think he's especially bad when he leans into his natural Boston accent. It's just too much. As far as The Rock, I think he's been good in family friendly adventures (like the Jumanji remake), but lately he's been taking himself too seriously. He got burned by the Black Adam debacle and he's making us all suffer for it. Plus a movie that cost a reported $250 million should look FAR better than this. The CGI is terrible. It's all very ugly. The whole military vibe version of Santa is very jarring too - like, why would kids want that version of Santa? He's supposed to be jolly! I will say that the one star is only because of Kiernan Shipka. She's a lot of fun as the villain. Imagine being a petite 25 year old girl and getting a role that requires you to fight The Rock and make it believable? LOL. She's great, though. It's like she actually gets the spirit of the movie and rides along with it, while the rest of the cast is fighting against it. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Speak No Evil - First of all, no, I have not seen the original. I tried to watch it before watching this but I couldn't find it streaming anywhere, but I will keep it on my list and hopefully it will appear somewhere soon. Second, James McAvoy is the fucking greatest. I guarantee you that he gives a stronger performance here than any of the potential Oscar nominees for this year (I haven't seen a lot of the likely nominated performances but the thought of Adrien Brody, Timothee Chamalet (Chalamet), and Sebastian Stan in the category makes me cringe so hard). Third, I somehow successfully avoided the trailer that everyone kept complaining about - apparently it was shown A LOT, and it gives too much away, which seems to be the case with every trailer, which is why I try my best to avoid them. But it was definitely hard with this because it's my LOVE James McAvoy and I wanted to watch it so fucking badly! But I didn't! So, I thought I was going to be really surprised by some big twist or something??? But unfortunately, it's very easy to figure out from the first few minutes of these people meeting each other what is going on. I kept waiting for a shock or a twist, and NOTHING! I was actually very bored, which I definitely was not expecting. I love Mackenzie Davis, though, and I screamed when I realized that Scoot McNairy is in this too!!! I love a Halt & Catch Fire reunion! I think overall, the plot is very stupid, but it is elevated by an excellent cast. McAvoy is very convincing as someone who would be very charming but very sinister in one breath (him singing "Eternal Flame" is glorious!). Davis has THE BEST facial reactions to some of the events that occur. And McNairy excels at being this dopey husband who is kind of useless but endearing. I love that when shit starts going down, she's the one that takes charge and he kind of fumbles around. I've always found that women are much better in emergency situations - mostly because it involves multi-tasking and men are generally bad at that. It's why men are better drivers - women are in constant multi-task mode and driving is something that should be a solo focus. Men can do that better. I don't know why people get so offended by basic biological facts (and I'm talking general, because I am actually a very good driver. I was taught by a retired police officer and I feel like he was a better teacher than most driving instructors because he taught me more "real world" driving and my husband is a very bad driver because he was born and raised in NJ and NJ has the worst drivers in the world. They are all so fucking aggressive). But, like I said, the plot is just stupid. I would never in a MILLION YEARS let my child on a bike with a stranger in a foreign country, and I don't think any parent would either. And then, they go back for the stupid bunny, not once, BUT TWICE?! Fuck off with that nonsense. It's also stupid that the little boy knows what's under the shed? How would he know all that stuff is down there if it's all locked up? It's still very gripping and intense at the end, but when I actually think about the movie I'm very disappointed. McAvoy's presence increases the rating by a whole star, though. 

2. It Ends with Us - *major spoilers* I've tried really hard to not think about this movie since I watched it last week because the more I think about it the angrier I get. I had not read the book, but from all the media attention, I knew that it was about domestic abuse. I will admit that I did not see the *twist* of the unreliable narrator, even though she literally calls herself that in the beginning. It got me. But that doesn't mean it's good. The idea is actually BRILLIANT - to show the audience her version of the events as the truth. Events that led to her being injured (she fell down the stairs, there was a fire incident and he accidentally hit me, etc), are shown to the audience so that we go - "oh, yeah, that seems like an accident". I started to question when the abuse was going to start. I think it forces the audience into an uncomfortable reality about abuse and encourages us to ask further questions/offer more support to women who may seem like they are in a perfect relationship and make excuses when the cracks start to show. I really wish the movie was good so that we could focus on this and begin to have a different conversation around domestic abuse. But the movie is FAR from good. The dialogue is rough, there is a lack of chemistry between the leads (and she often looks at him with disgust, which is weird), and it has one of the worst endings of all-time. All the light that it shines on domestic abuse is instantly dimmed with this bullshit ending. She just...leaves? She calmly asks for a divorce after giving birth to his child and he goes "yeah, you're right you should ask for a divorce". Because abusive men are apparently that self-aware??? If women could leave that easily THEY WOULD!! The issue is that most women CAN'T leave - most will fear for their lives or life of their child, but others can not leave for financial reasons! Especially if a child is involved. If the choice is staying in a warm home with food & clothing but suffer abuse, or live on the street or in a half-way house type situation where there is no guarantees and is often unsafe also, most will choose the former. And most abused women, will have their financial independence slowly drained without them realizing it because abusive men are manipulative. It's such a disservice to abused women for this film to show her *deciding* to leave as if she's deciding what to make for dinner. ANYWAY, I like Blake Lively (as an actress - some of the stuff that has come out about her has been rough, though), and I think if the director didn't cast himself in the movie, it would have been far better. But nothing could save that ending. I also think the costume designer might have been on drugs because what the fuck was she wearing for most of the film? That outfit she wears to the party?? I made the biggest "ew" face I could make. And why is Jenny Slate dressed like she's a housewife from the 60s for the majority of it? Make it make sense?! They did do a really good job of casting a younger Lively, but the casting of the younger/older Atlas is really off - they have completely different bone structure. Also, do these people realize that they are in their 40s??? They way they talk about their lives and having kids, you would think they are 28. It's all really stupid. Worse than a Lifetime movie. 

3. Carry-On - I think my love of Taron Egerton might be clouding my judgement with this one, but I think it's a lot of dumb fun and it's entertaining as Hell!! I loved it. It's definitely a throwback to 90s action thrillers combined with director Jaume Collet-Serra's talent for anxiety-induced tension. Of course, I can see the flaws, but I choose to ignore them - at least while watching - because it's very easy to just "go with it". The cast is great - and they all really sell the plot. Bateman as the bad guy is an unexpected but lovely choice - he is someone who would just blend in at an airport, but he does cold and sinister evil, really well. I don't know much about Sofia Carson, but she has a very large online fan-base (I think she's a singer??? Definitely missed a trick by not having her and Egerton sing a holiday song together!). She's great in this - holds her own and has great chemistry with Taron. I'm used to seeing Danielle Deadwyler in more prestigious type films, but she's really fun in this. There's also lots of familiar faces among the supporting characters (Theo Rossi! Dean Norris! Trey Atwood!! - although the twist of his character is obvious from the second he appears). And as for, my love, Taron Egerton - this is a great role for him. He's great at being an "everyman" hero type character (which is what he does in Kingsman even though he's a bit more chav-like). He's also great at action scenes - definitely perfected the Tom Cruise run. When this project was announced with his name attached, I *knew* it was a good step for his career. I miss seeing his face on the big screen, but as much as people want to complain about Netflix, it is how a huge amount of the population watch movies nowadays. Having the #1 spot on Netflix WORLD WIDE is a huge accomplishment and pushes his popularity into new territory. However, I can not handle his American accent. I feel like it somehow got worse??? There are several nods to NJ (he's supposed to be from there, transplanted to LA), but with that accent??? I don't think so, buddy. As for my other nit-picking things - why would anyone put a random earpiece in their ear without sanitizing it first??? EWWWW that's so GROSS. And how can he keep walking away from his post? Do they keep just shutting down the line every time he gets up?? The whole sniper from the parking lot is supremely dumb, too. Why would a pregnant woman encourage her baby-daddy to be a COP? Also, why are her eyebrows brushed straight up and down???? Is that how young people are styling their eyebrows now? It looks so stupid. 

4. Subservience - I expected bad, but I didn't expect this bad. I'll always stick up for Megan Fox (not for her dating life though - she makes very bad choices there) - I think she's someone who knows exactly what kind of projects are made for her and she doesn't take herself too seriously. She's also gorgeous (I'm sad that she's chosen the plastic surgery life, but to each their own!). She's definitely the best part of this movie - every single step, bad dialogue and all, she is a robot. Never faulters once! Everyone else in the movie is woeful. I couldn't figure out how I recognized the wife, so I looked her up and was like "oh, yeah, from Californication", but then I realized that she's also the little girl from The Nanny!!! How did I not make that connection before! Mind. Blown. She's bad in this, but she has one good moment when she sees the robot, that is Megan Fox, for the first time. I laughed. But otherwise, this movie plays out exactly as expected - it's like M3GAN and the tv show Humans combined, but bad. Really, really bad. And dumb. There's just no substance or point, and it's not even entertaining other than seeing Megan Fox in her underwear (but there are several other movies for that, so this is unnecessary). "Why does a robot even need undergarments"? is a question I asked myself more than a few times, mostly because I was bored. 

5. Kneecap - I don't think I was in the best mental state to watch this - I couldn't even pay attention to the first half hour. I saw this movie gaining awards traction in the foreign film category and it showed up on Netflix, so I pressed play, but I had no idea what it was about. After about a half hour, I decided to google what the fuck I was watching and it made way more sense. As an American, I have no idea who this group is - but watching them act out their own origin story is definitely an interesting concept. But also, as a (maybe dumb?) American, I do not understand why Irish is not an official language in Northern Ireland???? WHAT? Someone explain it to me like I'm 5 because I started looking into it and it made me even more confused. Apparently it is as of 2022, but why wasn't it originally that way - like from the beginning? I don't get it, but I guess it was super controversial for these guys to rap (??) in Irish. I'm putting the question marks there because it just sounds like noise to my ears (and I love rap - but if I can't understand the words then it's hard for me to listen to - not a knock on them, more of a knock on my own understanding of the language). Their whole sound gives off more of an EDM vibe to me instead of hip-hop, but I guess in Northern Ireland this is hip-hop. Once I understood the story, it definitely started to grow on me - and even though I don't know who they are, they create very engaging characters and a very inspiring story. I think maybe the shouldn't have really advertised Fassbender in it, because he's not really - it's more of a glorified cameo which should be that - not an advertised role in the film. But otherwise, it's good!

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Disclaimer - I love Cate Blanchett, but I don't love this. It's definitely a chore to get through - every episode slower and more predictable than the last (I think I'm on episode 5 and nothing of note has happened). The catalyst for the story is interesting - this young, married woman is on vacation with her son, meets an even younger man and has a quick love affair with him. He gets attached and wants more, she gets upset, then her son almost drowns in the ocean so her lover goes to save him and ends up dying in the process. She can't even pretend that she knows him because she doesn't want anyone finding out about the affair. The whole situation would fuck you up, but the part I don't really understand is that she wanted him to die and doesn't say anything about him still being in the water. Way to lose any empathy from your audience. She's basically an awful person and deserves to have her life destroyed? Okay...so now what? I don't care about the main character, and this doesn't make me care about any of the supporting characters either. I guess that's why it's a chore to sit through. I can appreciate villainous characters, but I'm struggling here. I also think the time-jumping is jarring in some cases, although it's probably the only interesting aspect. I hate the iris out shots between scenes too - it just feels pretentious but also amateur at the same time. But there are some really stunning scenes - like the scene with the drowning - the way the waves crash over the camera. You really feel the intensity of the water and how it can overtake you. As far as the cast, Blanchett is untouchable. But Leila George as a younger version of her doesn't work at all for me. I keep having to remind myself that they are the same character. Her vibe is just completely different. And Sacha Baron Cohen in a serious role is jarring! Sharing a scene with Cate Blanchett is EMBARRASSING for him. Who thought that was a good idea? I also did not recognize Kevin Kline for the entire first episode. I know they probably aged him a bit, but he is 77 so he is older than I'm used to seeing him. Also I can't believe him and Phoebe Cates are still married!! Good for them. Anyway, I also hate the narration - it reminds me of Nocturnal Animals, the way that it's "telling a story", but the story is boring so it all feels pointless. 

2. Cross - I can't tell if this show is good or if Aldis Hodge is just *that* hot. I think it's the latter. I was a big fan of Morgan Freeman's version of Alex Cross from the 90s - Kiss the Girls is a fantastic movie (Along Came a Spider was just ok from what I remember). I'm also a big fan of Aldis Hodge, so this show seemed like a no-brainer for me. I just think it could have been done better. The cat-and-mouse production of it is dragged out for way too long. It easily could have been 6 forty minute episodes instead of 8 hour long episodes. I like the whole backstory of Cross' wife being murdered (I don't remember if that was in the movies?), and he's just a great detective character, overall, but the whole side-plot with the stalking and attack on his family is unnecessary. Or it could have been the main plot for season 2. This just feels like there's too much going - this is a show that would benefit from simplicity. It's smart to update his story with the "defund police" movement - and show both sides of the coin. This could have been the side plot (a more in-depth look at how difficult it is to be a black police officer). I also think the main villain is a little too cartoonish (especially Ryan Eggold with that bleach blonde hair - there is no way I would trust a man with that hair). I'm not sure how I recognize the victim - played by Eloise Mumford because I searched her IMDB and the only thing I know her from is the 50 Shades movies, but I doubt I would recognize her from that. But the wig she wears in the beginning is God-awful. She's very strong in this role, though. I think I would have liked a little more of her story before the capture, too. But otherwise, I was entertained for most of this. I appreciate that Cross figures out the identity of the serial killer by episode 5 and then he's just struggling to prove it, but like I said, it just goes on for too long. I also knew that a certain character was untrustworthy from the second they are introduced - but I'm not sure why. I guess gut instinct, but it just was so obvious to me for the whole series so the finale is a bit of a letdown (aside from the climax fight song being "X Gon' Give it to Ya" by DMX). I will definitely watch, and probably enjoy, season two. 

3. St. Denis Medical - The first episode of this is a little rough around the edges, but it is significantly better by the second episode. And extremely funny so far. It's very similar to Parks & Recreation and The Office, but it's set in a hospital (like Scrubs if it were mockumentary style). The cast is very strong -Mama Goldberg and Allison Tolman!! Plus, David Allan Grier is a comedic legend - I remember watching him in In Living Color when I was a kid. He's the highlight here - in the second episode he has so many hilarious lines and he nails every single one of them. I think I'm only on the 5th episode, but there's been so many funny moments so far - like The Beastie Boys opening number with the doctor dancing to "Intergalactic" - I was crying laughing. And the doctor trying to find someone "good" to save to show how satisfying it is to be a life-saving doctor and the patient yells "Finally! A white doctor!" It's so fucking funny. I can't wait to watch more, but I have to wait for my husband to watch it with me (he will watch sitcoms with me - like real sitcoms, not shows that submit themselves as comedy for awards shows like The Bear). I think there is a big hole for sitcoms lately (Animal Control and Abbott Elementary are the only ones holding down the whole category), so I'm all in for this. And if it's already found it's footing in the first few episodes, hopefully it will be a long-running sitcom that will feel like a comfort show. I miss those. 

4. Interior Chinatown - Okay, so I watched this show because Chloe Bennet is in it - and I only really know her from the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D show and I have no real opinion of her from that. But she's dating my husband, Taron Egerton, so I have to support her. That man deserves to be happy - I've never read a bad thing about him (even his current co-star Jason Bateman praised him as "not being an asshole yet" and said something to effect that he doesn't have it in his bones - just pure kindness. The only thing I've ever seen of someone saying something bad about him is that one time a girl ran into him in the street and asked him for a picture and he said "no" and kept walking. Which is out of character for him, but also we can't expect celebrities to constantly be "On" every second of every day. I've also seen him be snippy when interviewers ask stupid questions or say something stupid - like when someone referred to his sisters as "half-sisters" and he corrected them "they are my sisters. period.". ANYWAY...I'm on a Taron tangent! It's been a long time! I just love him so much). I also like Jimmy O. Yang and Ronnie Chieng - they are both very funny. "I feel like I'm a background character in someone else's story" is the premise of the story. I'm not sure if I like it yet, though. It's very surreal - it's kind of reminiscent of that show with Jason Schwartzman where he's a private eye solving outrageous cases. Anyone remember that show?? It wasn't very good, but there was something interesting about it. Anyway, this kind of does the same outrageous scenarios thing, but it feels really cheesy; especially the "tv detectives". Nothing is grounded in reality. But I'm only 3 episodes in, so I'll still watch it and hope it finds its footing. There are definitely some funny parts ("I'll have the ginger chicken with no ginger" LOL. And when they are talking about Chloe and he goes "she's clearly Korean! Know your Asians!" I laughed. And then looked it up to see what her background is and she's not Korean. She's of Chinese descent on her dad's side and Caucasian American on her mom's side.). Also there's ANOTHER DMX song heard in this! I'M LIVING! 

5. The Day of the Jackal - Um, so I don't really understand all the great reviews for this. It's fine, I guess. It's very James Bond-coded, just with an assassin instead of a spy. And if you don't believe me just watch the opening credits, because I literally yelled out "are you fucking kidding me, with this James Bond song???". The opening scene of the series is really dumb, too, because we've all seen Mission: Impossible. Way to reference how unoriginal this series is within the first 10 minutes. I'm also not the biggest fan of Eddie Redmayne. I think he's been good in some stuff (The Theory of Everything), but he's not an Oscar-worthy actor (and yet he has one!!), and he over-acts. However, I appreciate that he takes on different/challenging roles in all different genres. He's following a different path than a lot of actors his age (I actually thought he was mid-30s until I just looked it up. He's my age!). I think he scales his acting back a little bit in this, and feels more human than I've seen him in a while, but I also think he's very boring in this role. And casting Lashana Lynch in this is really confusing, because she's IN the newer Bond films. I also don't care about any of the characters. I don't care if he gets away or dies. I don't care if she catches him and loses her family because she's so obsessed. They do nothing to make us care. I've just seen it all before - it's all playing out exactly how I expect it to and they've given nothing new to the spy/assassin genre. It's basically the same as Cross except that's actually entertaining. It's definitely another show that should have been 6 episodes maximum. I actually thought the 8th episode was the last one, but then I realized that the other 2 episodes just weren't released yet, and I feel like it's going to be a chore to finally finish this series. I will say that the music is fantastic (and I saw someone note that their music budget must be extraordinary because HOW did they get the rights to all these songs???). 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Transformers One - This is really cute! And action-packed! The animation is great - especially the scenes with the robots mixed into the natural world. Just gorgeous! I think a lot of original Transformers fan, like my husband, are scarred by the Michael Bay movies (for the record, I love them! I think the only one I really didn't like was The Last Knight, but overall I find it a very entertaining franchise. And the first one is incredible, I don't care what anyone says). So, when this came to streaming, I asked my husband if he wanted to watch it with me and he shook his head no, but then I said "it's animated and it's not related to any of the previous movies." And that made him change his mind and I'm glad because he LOVED it (I failed to tell him that Michael Bay produced this, but he doesn't need to know that information). It definitely feels like the "old school" style of the original cartoons, but with updated technology in the animation. It's a great "from the beginning" origin story about how Optimus Prime and Megatron became enemies (but started as best friends). It's interesting to see the chain reaction of a villainous world creating more villains that parallels the cycle of abuse (I don't think kids will grasp this concept, but it's definitely there). I think the voice casting is very uninspiring - Chris Hemsworth is probably the biggest mistake of the whole movie. Also Scarlett has a great voice for sultry, sexy characters, but not for this. I love Brian Tyree Henry, but I don't think he has a particularly interesting voice. Hamm is too expected. I did enjoy Keegan-Michael Key because B-127 was the best character ("I get to work for the government!" LOL). I'm excited for a sequel! 

2. Blitz - Hmmmmm....I rated this movie 3.5 stars, but I don't think I quite liked it. It's just a really well-made movie though, because I don't think Steve McQueen is capable of making a bad movie (even Widows has its moments of stunning filmmaking). I appreciate a lot of things about this. First, the film is partially told from a black child's perspective during WWII in London, which is not a perspective we've seen a lot of. It's really interesting to see the racism persisting even among people who are being bombed and trying to literally survive the day. Second, like I said, some incredible filmmaking is displayed - from the use of sound, to some of the shots, to the costume design - it's all gorgeous. There's also a great tracking shot (because it's McQueen, so OF COURSE there is!). And third, Saoirse Ronan supremacy!! I don't think this is her strongest role, but she's still so mesmerizing on screen - I couldn't look away from her. But, the film is also very boring. I don't think the kid is a good actor, and he's not engaging at all. I saw someone compare it to Oliver Twist, and that tracks - it just doesn't feel very original aside from the multicultural aspect. And if someone asked me to pick the most current "vanilla" actor working today, I would absolutely respond "Harris Dickinson". He's so dull - and I don't even understand his character in this. It seems his entire part could have been cut altogether. Stephen Graham goes way over-the-top with this, which is his thing, but he needed to be reined in. Overall, I think film enthusiasts will find the value in this, but I would not recommend this to the average moviegoer. 

3. Alien: Romulus - This was actually far better than I was expecting. It's exactly what I've wanted from an Alien movie since Aliens. It might not be as thoughtful as Prometheus or Covenant (both of which I liked), but it's entertaining as Hell in a purely horror blockbuster sensibility. It also may be a little too referential (some of it was laughable - "get away from her *stutters*, you bitch". WOW incredibly bad), but I can forgive that. The two main stars are STARS - Cailee Spaeny is great. She's so tiny and petite, but she's also scrappy so I can believe her in this role. She really carried the whole movie, and I *think* she's about as close to Sigourney Weaver's Ripley that we're ever going to get. David Jonsson is also great as a malfunctioning robot - his facial expressions are so good. But unfortunately, the rest of the cast are incredibly forgettable. Isabela Merced is so under-utilized. I don't know the other three of the group, and I have no interest in finding out more about them. All...just...blah. But the action and the kills are so good! I love all the face-hugger action too. The best part of the whole film is the ending - because HOLY SHIT - it goes batshit crazy. I thought the film was pretty much over, and then THAT happens and the whole thing takes a whole new direction. I was not expecting it at all. I was expecting more of a twist with a "twin" plotline because the whole thing is a play on Romulus & Remus (from Roman mythology about the founding of Rome), but I'm wondering if that's going to be the focus for the sequel? It's definitely an interesting twist in the story. Anyway, I loved it - it sits right outside my Top 10 of the year so far. 

4. Smile 2 - Another great horror film! I have so many horror films rated as 3.5 stars this year (Abigail, Immaculate, The First Omen, etc. and 3.5 stars is a high rating for me), and this is one of them. I was not expecting it at all - even with the good reviews (I'm always more skeptical of good horror film reviews - because a lot of them are bad). I liked the first one just fine - I rated it 3 stars (which is average/good to me). I liked Sosie Bacon, but that's about all. I thought a sequel seemed excessive (not every story needs to continue!). But this, is far more memorable - and Naomi Scott is INCREDIBLE. I like how they connect the stories, and then focus on this demon overtaking a pop star (a character that is already deemed as "crazy" due to an excessive life style). It's a really interesting turn in the story. But I truly think that Scott makes this movie - not only in acting, but the performing. I would fully believe that she is a pop star if I didn't already know otherwise. I recently watched the Power Rangers movie from a few years ago and she stood out among a great cast, but as I was watching this, I wondered what else she's done only to realize that she's the actress from the live-action Aladdin and the Charlie's Angel's remake - both of which I destroyed in my reviews. I still stand by both of those movies being terrible and the acting even worse, but obviously Scott can act - she's just been cast in bad movies. She gives off a bit of a P!nk vibe with this role (and I love P!nk), especially with the choreography and the spectacle in her performance. And Naomi does all the singing and dancing too! Incredible - better than most current pop stars. And I added the "New Brain" song to my Spotify list, because it's SO GOOD! I had it stuck in my head for days. Anyway, aside from her performance, I just think it moves a lot quicker than the first one does - it's more straight-forward, there are some truly gruesome scenes (the weight smashing into his face - so gory!). And it has a GREAT ending. I expected it, but I also thought they wouldn't actually go there, but they do (and it's a great commentary on the cult-like fanbase for a certain pop star that shall remain nameless). I think the only critique I have is that as great as Scott is, the constant reaction shots are annoying. 90% of the movie is just her face reacting to something horrific. 

5. The Piano Lesson - I mentioned this when I watched Fences, that I think it's incredible that I, a Drama Studies major in the early 2000s, have not read a single August Wilson play. It should have been a part of my curriculum. It's definitely a glaring omission - and direct proof of exclusion in the arts. I have been meaning to correct this, but I don't read a lot of plays anymore (I do read a lot of POC non-fiction because I think the whole purpose of books/movies/tv etc is to expand your worldview and that's not going to happen by just consuming things from white authors). There's a lot of good stuff in this - first, Danielle Deadwyler is fantastic - probably my favorite supporting performance of the year. Second, the scene with the men sitting around the table singing and stomping along to the beat is so simple, but yet SO EFFECTIVE. I could have watched that scene for another 20 minutes and enjoyed every second of it. Third, HOLY SHIT IS THAT RAY FISHER??!!! I thought he was completely miscast in the Justice League movie and I WAS RIGHT! Because he was terrible in that, but he's SO GOOD in this. I didn't even recognize him at first because dare I say, he's also REALLY HOT in this?! The scene in which he buys the suit is so cute! He's so excited about it and I wanted to reach into my television and give him a big hug. Fourth, the ending is really good with a proper horror haunted house vibe. The lighting (and flashing lights) is so strong and effective. The silhouettes of past lives is haunting and just so incredibly beautiful. And last, I appreciate the generational family affair of this - with Denzel producing, Malcolm directing, and John David starring in. Unfortunately, my biggest problem with it is John David Washington. I just don't think he's a good actor. He sounds just like his dad, but he definitely does not have the same star power or charisma. I think he struggles here - the dialogue does not sound natural for him at all and he just spends the entire time shouting. There's a deep divide too when he shares the screen with actual great actors (like Deadwyler - who doesn't even need dialogue to act or Samuel L. Jackson who is probably the only actor that can over-act and still be incredible in every role). I read a few reviews from black critics, all of whom praise John David Washington in this, so maybe I'm wrong, but he's just not convincing from my perspective. I also think it feels a little too stagey in parts, but I'm not sure if that can be helped with the nature of the story mostly taking place in one location. It just doesn't feel like a movie until the end. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Twisters - **spoilers ahead** I appreciate a good ole' summer blockbuster - and this is exactly that. But, it's also not exactly great. It's...ok. Which I think I also thought the original Twister was also...just ok. Especially compared to the other summer blockbusters of the time (Jurassic Park, Men in Black, Independence Day, Speed, Face/Off, I could go on forever - there are so many good ones in the 90s). I think the whole storm chaser thing is so ridiculous - and the way they idolize it and turn it into influencer level hysteria is really dumb. But putting your characters in peril several times over the course of 2 hours is what a summer blockbuster is all about! I can't say I wasn't entertained, but I was definitely disappointed. I just don't think either Daisy Edgar-Jones or Glen Powell are ready to lead big films like this. They both have star power, but neither can work with bad dialogue (which this has a ton of) and they don't have any chemistry (I know I'm in the minority but that's not new for me). The bigger problem is that they make Powell the most annoying, pompous, asshole for the first half of the movie and then they are like "just kidding, he's actually the good guy". My husband commented towards the middle (after I announced "that's the new Superman!!" to him after spotting David Corenswet), "so does she end up with the Superman guy?" and I was like "no, she ends up with the Youtuber guy??? DUH...he's the star of the movie" and he was really upset by that. Mind you, he knows very little about pop culture so he doesn't know that Glen Powell is the new internet boyfriend. But there is no way in Hell he was going to root for the asshole to get the girl, and I get it. Anyway, I think the movie might have been FAR better if it actually starred the two people who die in the beginning. Daryl McCormack and Kiernan Shipka aren't exactly well-known names, but they are certainly scene stealers. I was shocked that they don't make it past the first 15 minutes. So, do you guys want to hear my "twister" story? Well, I'm going to share it anyway, because this is MY film blog that I treat more as a journal and just write whatever the fuck I want! So, there is a line in the beginning of the movie "twisters don't happen in New York" and while they are rare, they do, in fact, happen in NY. A tornado hit a nearby school when I was a child and it was devastating. It was East Coldenham Elementary School in 1989 - you can look it up, it was a big story. A few kids died. There is still debate about whether it was an actual tornado or if it was "tornado-like winds" or a "strong hurricane", but I'm here to tell you it was a tornado. My school let out early because of the weather, so I was on a bus heading home. Our bus driver suddenly stopped and told us all to get on the floor. We had no idea what was happening, but the bus shook really hard, some of the windows even broke. And then...nothing. We got back in our seats and saw - CLEAR AS FUCKING DAY- a full blown tornado had passed us. I don't think we were fully in it because we would have died, but we were close enough to it to feel the effects. I don't know why the Coldenham school did not evacuate like other schools in the area; nor do I know why they continued to let children eat lunch in the cafeteria full of glass windows, because even in a hurricane you're supposed to stay away from windows. But it's all very sad. I was 8 years old, and I think it was my first exposure to the fact that children can die. Well, anyway, after I've depressed myself and probably anyone who reads this, let's talk about that leather camera strap that Daisy wears in this movie??? I was so intrigued by it that I couldn't look away from it. Oh wait, I also want to talk about this poster because I saw so many people make fun of it ("the twister is BEHIND them" LOL) only to be corrected multiple times that it's called "TwisterS" with an "s" because clearly there is one in front of them too (and if you look closely there is a reflection of the other twister in the driver's side mirror. It's actually kind of a brilliant poster. You losers!). 

2. My Old Ass - The good reviews for this are surprising because I found it so boring, unoriginal, predictable, and poorly acted. And I was just annoyed by most of it. First, the main star, who I'm not familiar with, but reminds me of Larisa Oleynik from her Alex Mack days (which should, in theory, be a good thing), is very bad in this. She's very performative and seems like she's playing towards a camera with every gesture and facial expression. The character is also annoying and kind of stupid. The supporting cast is Aubrey Plaza, once again being Aubrey Plaza, a very underutilized Maddie Ziegler (who maybe should have been the star based on her performance in The Fallout - an incredible movie with incredible performances! Obviously Jenna Ortega is a big name now, but Ziegler has yet to find her push into the mainstream. I really like her though), and the guy from Wednesday who is absolutely not hot at all; nor is he a good actor. Second, the whole "older self warning about the future" should be interesting. But instead of focusing on all these apocalyptic type warnings that she hints at ("Nobody is allowed to have 3 children anymore" and "I miss salmon" are all swept under the rug, with the focus on "Avoid a boy named Chad" - which is probably good advice for all young women, right? The only other real advice is to be nicer to her family, but it's clear with her whole "Chad" focus, that clearly something bad happens to Chad. The whole movie boils down to the very popular saying "it's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all". So, just say that, and be done with it. This movie just drags everything out and it feels about 5 hours long (it's only 90 minutes), and tops itself off with a Justin Bieber dancing & lip-syncing scene that made me want to slit my wrists. Also, 39 is not old, so FUCK OFF. And these two people look NOTHING alike. It's so stupid. 

3. Emilia Perez - There are some really varying reviews for this from people I trust - 1 star all the way to 5 star reviews. Which usually means I'll land in the middle, and this is no exception. It's a 3 star movie. I can see the issues with it, but it's also very inventive in its narrative, there's a few really strong scenes, and it feels modern. So, first I'm going to focus on the good - I went into this knowing very little about it. I knew that it starred Selena Gomez and Zoe Saldana, and that it had won some festival awards (I think at Cannes?). So, you can imagine my surprise, when I realized that it's a musical. And that it's in Spanish. And that it's about a sex change operation. The story is actually very interesting. I also think it's interesting that Karla Sofia Gascon portrays Emilia Perez before and after the transition (the makeup for the before is a bit bad, though? - Like, it doesn't look like a real person until after the transition). I think it's a huge mistake to push Gascon in the lead performance for awards season because Saldana is the STAR of this movie, and she is also the heart and soul of it. Submitting her for Supporting Actress is most definitely category fraud (it's getting worse & worse every year - they need to define the rules for these things and stick to them). There is one (yes, only one) stand-out scene and that's the one with Saldana in the red velvet suit dancing around the tables full of people. It's the only song that actually has a beat. Plus, the choreography and camera-work are incredible. As for Gomez, I like her. She's fine in this role, but not award-worthy. I think she's strongest in dry comedic roles (like Only Murders in the Building suits her so well. And I liked her in The Dead Don't Die). I was hoping for her to get a good musical number, but instead we get her rolling around on a bed and then she just screams a lot. It's the definition of cringe. The rest of the movie is a little silly (there's a viral clip from it in which a hospital staff sing about changing "a penis to vagina" that is insane). Most of the songs are really dull with no memorable moments or catchy beat, which I think is sort of essential for a successful musical. And there is really bad lighting throughout (especially the opening musical number). Overall, I appreciate the risks that are taken and that alone makes me rate it higher than I should. Plus, Rust and Bone (also directed by Jacques Audiard) is one of my favorite films of the last 15 years, so I'm probably biased.

4. Poolman - I expected a terrible movie (based on reviews) and that's exactly what I got. It will, for sure, make my worst of 2024 list. And I love Chris Pine (by far the best Chris). I'm happy that he's directing now, but after watching it, maybe he should stick to acting? It's probably not fair to even rate it, considering that I fell asleep for about 25 minutes of it. I couldn't even repeat the plot if I tried. It's *supposed* to be a homage to Chinatown (okay....I guess?). Obviously, the supporting cast is great - Jennifer Jason Leigh (I can't believe she's 62!!), Annette Bening (who must have owed someone a favor? Why would she do this??), DaWanda Wise, Danny DeVito, and apparently Ariana DeBose? I honestly don't remember her in it at all. Maybe she was in the part I slept through? Hahaha! Anyway, I like the quirkiness of it, it feels a bit retro, and I get what Pine is going for. He just made a very boring movie with very bad filmmaking aspects (the underwater shots are horrifically bad). It's just a terrible film.  

5. Thelma - This is cute. But that's about it. It's basically the same plot as The Beekeeper, which is kind of weird, but a sequel for The Beekeeper would be missing a beat if they don't cast June Squibb. I would love a team-up with her and the Stath. It would be hilarious. I love her so much, and I love that she is starring in a movie at the age of 93 (she's 95 now!). That's incredibly inspiring. I'm trying to change my mentality of getting old to "getting old is a privilege". It's a hard concept to wrap your head around because there is so much stigma and bad stuff that comes with getting old - your body stops working like it used to, your mind isn't as sharp, and the older you get the more death surrounds you. BUT, getting to grow old and experience the world for 95 years is such a gift. June is still out there - doing what she loves and living her life and it's SO COOL. She has so much fun with this role, too. Her timing with the dialogue is spot-on, and made me laugh out loud several times ("how can ZuckerBORG let this happen?" LOL). But other than Squibb nailing this, the rest of it is a little boring and predictable. 30 minutes in and I was sighing and thinking "okay...get on with it, already". AND WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE...I was just about to write about how it was also nice seeing Richard Roundtree (who has a very large role in this), and I *just* found out that he died last year and that this was his last role??? How did I miss that? That's so sad! He was so cool! Awww...anyway, I do like the rest of this cast - Parker Posey is always hilarious, and the guy from The White Lotus is going to start blowing up everywhere (I think he's in the new Gladiator movie, too?). The ending is cute too - how she only takes back $9500 (leaving him $500, after hearing his hardships), and then shooting the computer. On a related sidenote - my husband's grandmother is extremely computer savvy. It's kind of incredible. She's in her 80s, but hopped on the computer trend as soon as became a thing and grew with it instead of letting it intimidate her. She's lost a lot of her eyesight now, so she can't do as much, but I think it's funny that the whole family goes to her or my husband if they have computer issues. 

3 Thoughts on The Wild Robot

1. The Robot - I didn't know much about this before watching it. I was meeting my mom for lunch and a movie - and this was the only thing playing aside from horror movies (Heretic, Smile 2), movies I've never heard of (Here, Elevation), or movies I know my mom would hate (Conclave, Anora). So we picked this and I have no regrets! It's so good! The best animated movie I've seen since The Mitchell's vs. The Machines. There has been some great animated movies about robots (Big Hero 6, Wall-E, The Iron Giant), so I didn't know how this one was going to stand out. But it does. Roz not only has to adapt to her new environment (on an island of wild animals), she also has to learn about friendship, motherhood, and the laws of nature. All of it is done so well, and SOMEHOW, I didn't cry! Instead I left the theater feeling inspired and entertained. 

2. The Wild - Not only does this have a loveable robot, but it also has loveable wild animals, so OBVIOUSLY, I'm going to love it. The biggest "lesson" of the movie is that kindness is, in fact, a survival skill - something that A LOT of people would probably argue against. I think we've adapted the mantra that the "nice guy finishes last" and have run amuck with it, unfortunately. In theory, it's really cute - and a good lesson for children, but my mind kept wandering to - "but if all the animals are friends and take care of each other, how are they getting food???" In "the wild" animals will eat each other and it's survival of the fittest! They do mention this more than a few times, but in the end, the animals all band together and they ignore the whole eating each other thing. But, I know, I know, it's a kid's movie. And I know if I were a kid, I would have been obsessed with this - especially with Fink the fox. They do a great job of giving depth to these characters - Fink is a loveable "hated" character. I also like that it touches on how being different (or having a disability), i.e being a runt of a litter, still has its strengths within a community. Everyone contributes to society - you just have to find out how. 

3. The Rest - I think the thing about this movie that really blew me away is the animation - and I haven't really cared for modern animation in a long time. Especially from DreamWorks (I like a lot of their animated movies - The Kung Fu Panda movies, and The Bad Guys, but I still find the animation lacking that spark. OH WAIT - I just realized that Puss in Boots is not only DreamWorks but came out in 2022, after The Mitchell's vs The Machines - so that's probably the last animated movie I truly loved). But this movie is gorgeous. Simply GORGEOUS. I love the way it intertwines the relationship between technology and nature - it's so vibrant, detailed, and feels magical. I also think the casting is incredible because as recognizable as all the voices are, it's not distracting to the movie. Lupita's voice is so soothing and calm, it's so perfect for this character. Her supporting actors that surround her - Pedro Pascal, Kit Conner, Stephanie Hsu are all great. I think the only critique I have is Matt Berry, because his voice is SO overwhelmingly distinct that it was distracting. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Nobody Wants This - This is SUPER cute!! I heard good things and I adore Adam Brody, but I instantly had my doubts when I realized the other main character (played by Kristen Bell - who I don't always love) is a podcast host, and her podcast is about her relationships and dating. I'm sorry, but I hate the whole idea of this - nobody fucking cares about your dating life. It's so narcissistic and annoying. But apparently people do care because this is what people do with their lives now - they listen to strangers on podcasts talk about their lives (like, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. Even some of my co-workers - instead of putting music on in the stockroom, they now put podcasts on and I want to kill myself). Anyway, fortunately - this show is still good even though I hate this whole concept. The show is more about falling in love with the unexpected and life not going as planned. The biggest success is, in fact, Adam Brody because he's one of the most loveable men on the planet. I know a lot of The O.C. girls loved Seth Cohen - he made nerdy guys COOL. Every girl wanted their very own Seth Cohen (I didn't - I was always a Ryan Atwood girl. Reformed bad boy. Broods a lot. He's perfect). Brody takes that same Cohen charm, but as an adult - he's mature but still fun and silly, he's a rabbi (!!), and he's still just as awkward and self-deprecating. And very, very funny. I will concede that he is absolutely swoon worthy in this. And I love the relationship that forms between him and Bell. They definitely have chemistry - and they match each others wit. I think Bell is the weak link, but I expected that. I also just don't think her character is written very well - and she is very much a stereotype of a needy girl (she gets upset that he doesn't text her back because it's been 3 hours?? I would not survive that kind of relationship. Thank God my husband does not need constant communication. I always think it's really weird when my co-workers spend their break talking to their husbands/partners. Aren't you going to see each other when you get home?? I get when it's a new relationship, even though it's not my style. But my husband and I can go weeks without texting each other. I see him every day!). The supporting cast really, really shines - I think Jackie Tohn, as the bitchy sister-in-law, is the sneaky highlight of the whole thing. But, Timothy Simons is HILARIOUS. It's great casting to begin with (they definitely could be brothers in real life), and he's kind of the same character as Jonah from Veep, but it's in a completely different circumstances so it works really well. Plus, I love the friendship that is forming between his character and the sister (played by Succession's Justine Lupe). They are really funny together. And, of course, Tovah Feldshuh is a legend. I love that it's about a mixed faith relationship (well, he's Jewish, and she's not religious at all) - the problems they face due to their own customs, traditions, and expectations is explored in really thoughtful ways. Plus, it's laugh out loud funny - some of my favorite moments: 1. When the sister first meets the brothers ("what does Jewish look like to you?" LOL). 2. The line "I'm independently wealthy because my family is rich". 3. When Sasha is watching the movie and he says "you're a problematic weirdo, but goddamn it, you're a movie star!" about Tom Cruise (the love for Tom Cruise is at an all-time high right now and it is soul-crushing to me. It really shows that people do not care if movie stars are good or bad people AT ALL). There's so many more really funny moments, but you get the point. I think my only criticism is that Sherry Cola is underused. She is FUNNY. Please LET HER BE FUNNY! 

2. Agatha All Along - I didn't really like this show and I don't really have any solid reason why. It just didn't hook me and I felt like I had no idea what was going on at any given moment. They were going down the witches road for...something. I guess? And they had challenges along the way? BUT, I LOVE (most of) this cast! I was really interested in seeing Joe Locke in something outside of Heartstopper because I love him so much on that show - he's just the sweetest teenager ever and I want to give him a big hug and tell him everything's going to be okay. He's good in this too! A different role, and he does a decent job with it. But also - Patti LuPone!!! What a legend! And I'm a big fan of Kathryn Hahn (and have been for a while) - I'm glad she had so much success with this character that they gave her a spinoff, but I also find the whole exercise unnecessary. And love it or hate it, Aubrey Plaza continues to be Aubrey Plaza. I think the weakest link is Ali Ahn - I've liked her in past projects, but in this I think she was miscast (or they just wrote the character wrong) because she's, like, my age and she's working at Hot Topic and acts like she's a teenager? It's really confusing. And I usually love Evan Peters - although I'm so lost on his whole Marvel connection because he's Quicksilver in the X-Men movies but then he shows up in WandaVision as someone else (I think?) - and then he reappears in this and for some reason is doing a Sam Rockwell impersonation? I don't get it. And speaking of WandaVision, I really liked it, for the most part, but I don't remember much about it - and it seems essential to understand what's going on here. It was like 4 years ago - how do people remember things from 4 years ago? I have such a bad memory, it stinks. I try to do puzzles and things to help, but it doesn't. I think it's a coping mechanism (to forget things so easily), but it gets so annoying. Anyway, so *spoiler* Locke's character is Wanda and Vision's son and his whole goal is to find his twin brother (by following the witches road? I guess?). I like the reveal, but I also don't know why I'm supposed to care about any of these characters. The best part of the show is the end credits - I like the songs, and I like the nods to all the previous witch characters in the media. Also, "The Ballad of the Witches' Road" is a really catchy song. Annoyingly catchy. 

3. Doctor Odyssey - Oh my God, this is the stupidest show I've watched in a while - and guess what? I'm going to keep watching it. When the commercials for it first started to air, my husband had commented on how dumb it looks - he was like "there's a show that's like that 911 show you watch mixed with The Love Boat" and I laughed because that sounded pretty fucking stupid. I didn't really pay attention to the commercial during the multiple times he commented on how dumb it looks, until one day, I noticed PACEY on my television and was like "OH What's this?!!" only to realize it's the show that my husband had been ragging on for weeks. He came home and I said "I regret to inform you that I will be watching that 911 Love Boat show". His response: "of course you are". I will never not watch a show with Joshua Jackson, though. I've watched all of them - from Dawson, to Fringe (which is an excellent sci-fi show), to The Affair (which had an amazing first season and a decent finish), to Dr. Death, to the Fatal Attraction remake. He's so good in all of them, but ALWAYS STILL PACEY! But, I admit, this is, by far, the worst show he's ever done. It's actually TERRIBLE for so many reasons. For one, it is exactly like 911 in that it takes all these crazy scenarios (that may have happened on a cruise ship at some point in time), but they all happen to this cruise and these doctors - every week! There are like 4 or 5 extremely unlikely emergencies every episode! It's so stupid. I also think the whole love triangle (now turned into a threesome with the last episode I watched), is written like they are in high school and these are fully grown adults. It doesn't help that I hate the other two co-stars (she's from Hamilton, right? She's a horrible actress. And she's not hot, but I think she's supposed to be??). I will give them credit for somehow getting wild guest stars (Gina Gershon!! Margot Martindale?? Chord Overstreet?!). But the absolute most ridiculous thing about this show is that Pacey is supposed to be patient zero for the Covid epidemic and they keep referencing it and doing flashbacks and it's the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen. It's so trashy and dumb - maybe even too trashy and dumb for me? If it didn't have Pacey, I definitely would not keep watching it. 

4. Grotesquerie - I'm not loving this show and I kind of hesitated watching it because I think I'm finally over Ryan Murphy shows. He's going too far, I think. He needs to take a break and reassess - come back when he's ready to reinvent shit again instead of turning out the same stuff with different titles. This is basically an American Horror Story, just not as weird. It's like his version of Se7en - and I hate to make that comparison because it's not nearly as good, but it's basically the same story. So far, at least. I did decide to give it a go because I really love Niecy Nash-Betts - and she was so good in Dahmer. I'm interested to see what else she can do, and I appreciate that Murphy cast her to headline a series. I love that Murphy stays loyal to certain actors & actresses (although his love for Emma Roberts and Lea Michele needs to die - it's clear they are both very self-centered narcissists. And so many co-stars have come forward with their own horror stories about them. It can't be ignored anymore. Stop hiring them). But Murphy also has a tendency to stunt cast - like Kim Kardashian, and with this, Travis Kelce. Kardashian was not the worst, but Kelce is remarkably bad. I don't really understand the need to hire people who aren't actors for ACTING roles. Just for ratings? I don't think Kelce drove any hard ratings for this, did he? Football fans are not watching this. And Swifties are already using up their precious free-time watching football for Kelce, they're not going to also watch a bad horror series. Anyway, nothing about this show has gripped me - the whole nun part is somewhat intriguing because the actress is very charismatic and interesting (and she has a STUNNING voice - the scene with her singing in the car gave me literal goosebumps). But I also don't understand why they are suddenly in a shootout in the middle of the desert? I keep zoning in and out, though, so it's not surprising that I can't follow the plot. And I don't care about the main character, at all. She's a drunk, but she also insists on driving everywhere??? AS A COP? FUCK HER, I hope she kills herself before she kills someone else. UGH. Anyway, I'm 5 episodes in, and I'm hoping that it gets better (and I have a better understanding of what the Hell is going on), but I'm not counting on it.

5. La Maquina - So far, I like this show. I'm 4 episodes in - and I like the turn that it has taken. I thought it was going to be this underdog boxing story, which we've seen a million times. But the stakes have turned much higher with it being about this underground ring of people "fixing" matches and then making demands. I watched this for the Gael Garcia Bernal & Diego Luna reunion - I love them so much, and I hope they continue to act together until they retire from acting. Bernal is very much in his element with this role - he's charming and loveable even when he's being an asshole. He oozes chemistry on screen (that smile!) and he should be a much bigger star. Luna has become more of a household name with the whole Star Wars Andor character (good for him!), but I prefer him in quieter, independent projects. But in this he is practically unrecognizable - he plays someone who has had major plastic surgery and fillers injected into every crease of his face. It's so hard to look at! It's based on a true story (and a real person). I tried to look up some pictures of him to see why they had to make Diego look like that, but I couldn't find any (I didn't try that hard though! I'm too lazy for real research right now). But I'll never understand how people think they look better when they look all plastic and swollen like that. But to each their own! Not my business. This also has Eiza Gonzalez in this, but so far, she is underutilized. The story is interesting, but it's also very well made - the pace and editing is great. Like the cut from him being all hyped and arrogant going into the fight to him in the ambulance. We don't need to see the actual fight to completely understand what happened. And there is a really cool tracking shot in the beginning of the second episode (wait, maybe it's the 3rd episode, I forgot already), but it's extremely smooth and moves in and out between all the characters in the gym. I love when shots are so smooth like that that you almost don't even notice the technicality of it (I don't think most audiences notices stuff like that anyway, unless it's pointed out to them). I'm excited to watch the rest of it (I think it's only 6 episodes, which is perfect!). 

Movie Marathon: Scream

*This post contains spoilers*

1. Scream (1996) - This is one of my favorite movies of all time!! It came out when I was 15 and is a big reason I fell in love with movies. I was always a big movie person when I was a kid, but my mom wasn't, so I didn't have someone introducing me to movies like most kids do. I had my paternal grandfather who really loved westerns and war movies, but as a young girl, I did not really enjoy those movies (I do now). But I remember going to see this with my friends in the movie theater and for one, I was terrified - I had not seen too many "scary" movies and the ones that I had seen I thought were not scary or even cheesy (the only exception is Firestarter, which gave me nightmares because I watched it too young). And two, I fell in love with how well-made this movie is. The way it references other movies made me seek out those movies! I began my film journey by watching Hitchcock and Fritz Lang movies, and the original Halloween, which led to a whole new world of movies! Don't get me wrong - I loved a lot of 90s movies - Jurassic Park, Speed, Independence Day, and Bad Boys all come to mind - but those were different. And none of those made me seek out Hitchcock. It's weird to think of now, because I would much rather watch blockbuster action films over horror, but horror is where it all began for me. I went on to take an elective film class in my senior year of high school and then I double majored in film studies & drama studies in college - all because Drew Barrymore gets violently murdered within the first 15 minutes of this movie! And I still think this is the best opening scene to a movie OF ALL TIME. It's iconic. And I love how Wes Craven pays homage to other iconic horror shots throughout the rest of the movie (like the reflection in the eyeball, the knife slashing shots, etc.). And I think a lot of people credit Scream with the whole meta film experience, but I recently watched the Nightmare on Elm Street movies (I had only seen the first one, so I watched all the rest a few years ago) and Craven's New Nightmare is excellent and extremely meta (and was released a few years before Scream). But this definitely helped drive the whole meta film device into the mainstream and became the running theme through the rest of the Scream movies. The ending goes over the top a bit, but Matthew Lillard gives it his all and I love every second of it. His dialogue and line delivery at the end makes me laugh every time ("should I let the machine get it?" LOL perfect). Plus, this one has one of my favorite horror kills of all (aside from the opening), with Rose McGowan and the garage door - still slightly afraid of garages because of this if I'm honest. 

2. Scream 2 - This is where things get exciting for me because I've seen the original Scream probably 20 or so times, but this I've only seen a few times (but not since it was originally released) and the rest I've only seen once. So I'm excited to see if my memory is skewed by nostalgia (*spoiler* it was!) or if the original trilogy are *just* as good as I remember them. This sequel came out while I was still in high school (the turnaround for the first three was so quick!), and I saw it in the theater 3 or 4 times and I remember having a BLAST. Especially during the opening scene featuring Jada Pinkett Smith. The only problem is that it wasn't scary at all; instead the audience laughed their ass off (partially at how Jada dies. It's so fucking funny!). I was a big Jada fan back in the day (between this and Set it Off, she was a STAR), but now I realize she's a bad actress (and she's super weird). I know a lot of people are big fans of Timothy Olyphant now, but I was around for him back in the 90s (again with this, and then Go is one of my favorite 90s movies). There is a big success with the casting in this - some genuine 90s icons - Sarah Michelle Gellar, Heather Graham, Rebecca Gayheart, Omar Epps, AND Pacey!! And I LOVE that they got Tori Spelling to play Sidney Prescott in the movie version because she jokes about it in the first one (they also name drop David Schwimmer playing Dewey, which is funny because of the Courtney Cox connection). Plus this is the movie that both Neve and Courtney have the BEST hair - Courtney with that bob and red streaks - I longed for that hairstyle (I did the streaks, but my hair is too thick and curly for a bob). I still had so much fun with this - it's a little funnier than the first one and I think the reveal of the killer was genuinely surprising. Some of it drags a bit - like the theater scenes, and it was a big mistake killing Randy, but overall it's as good as I remember it. 

3. Scream 3 - This is where things get weird - because I remember Scream 3 being a disappointment, but I don't remember it being an actively bad movie. But....it's bad. And as I pressed play, I realized that I didn't even remember who the killer was so it felt like I was watching a new movie. I genuinely didn't remember anything about it aside that a lot of it takes place on a film set and Courtney's mini bangs have been placed in the worst haircuts of all time. I was surprised that the first kill is Megan Mancini/Lily van der Woodsen!! It's always such an iconic scene in the Scream movies, it's kind of crazy that I don't even remember her being in this. I kinda hate the whole meta aspect of this because it goes a little too far with the cast interacting with the actor playing them in a movie bit (they are doing this on the current season of It's Only Murders in the Building and it's THE WORST). Parker Posey, as much as I love her, is miscast because she doesn't have the same energy at all as Gale Weathers. She is really grating in this too. They definitely lead the audience to believe it's the cop (played by Patrick Dempsey), and for a few minutes I thought it might be (especially since it's a cop in the most recent one - I thought that was maybe a reference that I missed). I think this one is bad mostly because it turns Sidney Prescott into a stupid woman - and she was never stupid! Why would she wander around on this film set BY HERSELF? Why would she go into this cop car BY HERSELF? It's just so dumb. And some of the scenes don't look good (like the house blowing up). There is one really strong scene - the double-sided mirror scene, but other than that this movie is a doozy.

4. Scre4m - I've always listed this on the bottom of my Scream ranking even thought a LOT of film buffs insist that it's great. After this rewatch, I still think it's bad, but I do think that Scream 3 is worse so it's no longer on the bottom of my ranking. But I do think that this has the worst killer reveal in the whole franchise. Not only is Emma Roberts a terrible actress, she's 5'2" and 105lbs max. There is just no way she could physically overcome all of these people with her stature and just a knife. And Rory Culkin isn't much bigger. It's just the dumbest thing ever and it makes me so angry. I also hated the opening kill scene - the uber meta repetitiveness is so annoying (although I forgot it was Kristen Bell and Anna Paquin). I also think this one has the worst cast because, in retrospect, these were supposed to be Hollywood "It girls", but they picked all the ones who didn't end up being big (Lucy Hale, Aimee Teegarden, Shenae Grimes, Britt Robertson, Hayden Panettiere - none of them made it. That sounds mean, but it's true! And I like most of these girls!). Emma Roberts has had a modicum of success, but that's just because of Ryan Murphy. I'll forgive it a little bit with Adam Brody (and how weird that both him and Bell are in this - I didn't realize that while watching their new Netflix show) and Alison Brie. I did realize with this that I got the timelines wrong - I thought this started the rebooted Scream movies, but instead this is part of the original films and then the next one starts the "new" movies, which makes sense as to who the killer is in Scream 6 matches Scream 2. I think this one is a bit nastier and the kills are very gruesome, but bad acting combined with this dumb-ass ending, does not make a good movie. 

5. Scream (2022) - I remember being a little skeptical about this at first because I hated Scre4m so much. And like I said, I was definitely confused by the structure of the sequels and sort of counted the 4th one as the new batch of movies, but this one is really the reboot - and it follows the original in so many ways. And I know that everyone was upset at how it wasn't called Scream 5 (or 5cream), but I think that's because even though it is the 5th movie, it's also the first one of the new story - following Sam Carpenter and her sister. It even starts off with a mirrored first kill scene starring Jenna Ortega answering the phone and having to play Ghostface's movie trivia game. I think the next series of movies will all have the roman numeral numbers to differentiate. Anyway, back to the opening scene - first of all, I love Jenna Ortega. And I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. I saw her in You and thought "wow, she's going to be a big star". The opening scene is SO GOOD as a throwback, but it's also the first time the victim survives!! And the becomes a main character! I mean it's a little ridiculous because she's stabbed like 100 times but still! I like the twist! I think it's obvious who one of the killers is from the beginning (especially with them referencing the original so much), but I never guessed the second one - which is the bff played by Mikey Madison. Again, I think having a petite young woman as the killer is dumb but at least she's a better actress than Emma Roberts. There's also a scene in which Ghostface is standing next to Dewey and they are the same height and stature. Ghostface can't be Jack Quaid in this scene because he's in the scene pretending to be scared of Ghostface at this point. So in theory, it's Mikey under the mask - a 5'3 petite woman standing next to a 5'10 man and they are the same height and stature. I'm sure that there are inconsistencies like this in all of them if I watched closely enough and paid attention to it (I know there is a website that theorizes who is under the Ghostface mask for each scene, which would be interesting - maybe I'll check it out the next time I watch these movies). Anyway, I like a lot about this movie - I think the "requel" aspect is done really well. I love the new characters introduced and the cast is great. Also, killing off Dewey is sad, but necessary. He was always my least favorite character of the series - not to mention, a terrible cop. 

6. Scream VI - I appreciate the turnaround for this sequel - it reminded me of how quick the original Scream sequels were released. I know a lot of people disagree, but I absolutely love this entry. And I loved it even more on a rewatch, so much so that I moved it up in my ranking to second!! I think 2, 5, and 6 are all 3.5 star movies, but this one tips the scale for me mostly because it feels the most fresh - changing the location is a big part of that. And I know that a few of them don't take place in Woodsboro but the other locations are a college that could be in Woodsboro and a film set that looks like Woodsboro. This is the first one that uses a completely different location and uses it well. The bodega scene is one of the best scenes of the entire franchise (and gives Ghostface a gun!). There is also a killer subway scene. I love the opening kill scene too because Samara Weaving is one of my favorite current horror queens, so as soon as I saw her face I was thrilled that she gets to be a Scream opening kill. What an iconic moment for her. I think the only big flaw in this is that the second the roommate says "when I lost my brother" I knew immediately that she was Richie's sister and therefore, Ghostface. And that was only 25 minutes into the movie. Then when she "dies", I realized that the cop is also Ghostface because he was on the scene and probably helped fake her death - plus it has to be a cop collecting all that memorabilia that is also EVIDENCE in multiple homicides (LOL). It was the first time in the whole franchise that I *knew* who the killers were without any hesitation or reconsideration. There is a first time, third killer, but he's sort of inconsequential to the whole movie. And yet, I still think it's the one that gets the balance exactly right - a perfect mix of meta, original characters vs new, and tries something new while still keeping within the "rules" of the Scream universe. I really loved doing this marathon watch because my ranking definitely changed - and I found an appreciation for the series in new ways. It's also the first time that I noticed that "Red Right Hand" plays in all 6 movies. I remember it from the original movie, and then the two new ones, but it can be heard in all of them. That's cool! Plus, as awful as this sounds - Sidney Prescott isn't in this, and I didn't even notice. I love Neve Campbell but these movies have become bigger than her. 

Ranking: 

Scream (1996)

Scream VI 

Scream 2 

Scream (2022)

Scre4m 

Scream 3