Movie Marathon: X-Men*

*I'm not including spin-off or origin films because that's like 8 more movies - maybe I'll do the Wolverine movies separately at some point* 

1. X-Men - I can't believe this movie came out 24 years ago!! And I haven't seen it since its release. I don't remember much about it, but I do remember liking it. I assume I saw it in the movie theater on release because from 1996 to about 2005 I saw every movie in the theater (I mean not every movie, but I went to the movies at least twice a week). The cast is great - Hugh Jackman, James Marsden, Famke Jannsen, Rebecca Romijn, and obviously Ian and Patrick. I'm not the biggest Anna Paquin fan, and I definitely think she's the weak link. And also, Halle Berry is...terrible. I think it's weird to notice this, because I used to be such a big fan, but then suddenly I saw her in something (I think it was either the John Wick movie she was in or Kingsman: The Golden Circle) and I was shocked at how bad she was. I thought it was a new thing, but after rewatching these movies, I realize she might have always been bad? Anyway, I think this is a very good start for the franchise. It introduces a lot of characters, but gives them all time to shine and develop. The Magneto stuff is terrific and super cool, but the some of the other effects are are bad (like him speeding on the motorcycle - it just looks so fake). The foreshadowing is a little too much, also. But overall it was a fun rewatch. 

2. X2 - I've had two revelations watching this - first, I definitely should have done this marathon rewatch before I watched Deadpool & Wolverine, because there's so much that I didn't even get because my memory is terrible. I figured the characters that showed up were from the X-Men universe at some point, but I don't remember them at all (like Pyro, for example). I also didn't catch that the "Bye, Bye, Bye" opening credits scene is also a reference to this (it comes on the radio and Wolverine immediately turns it off. LOL). Also, I can't believe Brian Cox is in this!! After shitting on comic book movies (around the release time of D&W) and he's FUCKING IN ONE OF THEM?! Come on, dude. Was he just bitter he wasn't invited to be in D&W? My second revelation is that this movie is GOOD! For some reason I thought it was bad and I'm always surprised when people rank it so highly among the X-Men movies. But it's highly ranked in mine now too! There's definitely a little too much filler in the middle so it drags a bit, but overall it's great! If it was about 30 minutes shorter it would have been a 4 star movie! (I actually don't rate any of these 4 stars, even after a rewatch. 3.5 is the highest). 

3. X-Men: The Last Stand - Okay, so this one is the bad one. It's really, really bad, too. Like the drop in quality is insane. I also question if I've ever actually watched this one? It was released when I lived in Philly and my movie theater attendance dropped (actually - I still went to the movies a lot, but the closest theater was an independent theater so I saw more smaller movies. I had to drive to a regular theater - and driving in Philly was not a fun adventure). Learning that it was directed by Brett Ratner makes sense as to why it turned out so awful. Bryan Singer is a garbage human being but he could direct a big blockbuster movie - there's no denying that. I'm actually waiting for Singer's comeback because all these cancelled assholes find their way back into Hollywood somehow. But it's been like 6 years and we haven't heard a peep! Anyway, like I said, I'm not sure I ever watched this because I don't remember a single thing about it - especially the ending??? Is that why they went the prequel root? That makes sense now. I was surprised by some of the actors that appear - like Ben Foster! And a baby Elliot Page! Hugh Jackman looks...weird in this one - like maybe the hairline on the wig is off? Something is wrong with it. And the de-aging tech hasn't really gotten any better, has it? It was awful here and it's still awful! The whole thing is just weird - like how Jean just *appears* with no real plausible explanation? So dumb. 

4. X-Men: First Class - First of all, I've been a James McAvoy fan from day one. I remember when I first started dating my husband he asked me who my biggest celebrity crush was and I said James McAvoy - he was like "isn't that...Professor X?" (and he was also shocked that I didn't say the usual Chris Evans type person). I know he's known to most as Professor X or from the Shyamalan movies, but I've been been in love with him for like 20 years now. When I first saw this movie, I had a mixed reaction to it, but McAvoy is the clear highlight. He forms a bond & chemistry with Michael Fassbender that fells really genuine, which helps this franchise continue the way it did. I'm also a big fan of Michael Vaughn's movies (sorry, Kingsman haters, but they are extremely well made action movies). I'm still mixed on this, though. There's some really good stuff, but overall - there's just too much wrong with it. Jennifer Lawrence was miscast from the beginning (and she literally gave up 1/2 way through these movies). January Jones should be a megastar after her role in Mad Men, but shows clearly that she unfortunately can't act and Mad Men was a fluke. I didn't even remember all the side character mutant actors like Zoe Kravitz and Caleb Landry Jones because they are all so dull. Overall, I found this rewatch kind of...boring? The Wolverine scene is legendary, though. 

5. X-Men: Days of Future Past - I'm actually surprised that this is my favorite of the bunch because on my initial watch, I wasn't that impressed. Maybe my expectations were too high because it is so highly praised by others? I'm not sure, but I seriously loved this one. So, I guess everyone was right! I think it's partly because they finally got the cast right. I mean, obviously Lawrence continues in this role, but everyone else is soooo good. It definitely features the best acting out of any of the X-Men movies. McAvoy is INCREDIBLE. I think he got outshined by Evan Peters as Quicksilver because those scenes are so much fun - and Peters does a great job. But McAvoy shows a range of emotions that nobody else can touch. I think bringing Wolverine back into the mix helps tremendously - and he brings an energy to it that is lacking in First Class. I love the way it weaves the past & present together, and there's some really funny dialogue. But they do explain the plot way too many times (which was my complaint from the first one. We're not stupid - we get it. It's not that difficult!). 

6. X-Men: Apocalypse - I liked this one more than most on my initial watch. There were things I didn't like about it, sure. Like, Lawrence is dead weight at this point. And Sophie Turner as Jean Grey is a TERRIBLE casting decision (and she even got her own movie too! Even though it was more of an X-Men movie, I'm NOT rewatching it because I remember it being really awful). She's so blank - especially compared to Famke Janssen!! And Olivia Munn has like one line of dialogue!? It's so weird. They really do the women in this franchise dirty. Either bad casting, terrible dialogue to work with, or they cut them to bit parts. The only saving grace is Rose Byrne. I like the casting of Cyclops, though - Ty Sheridan. This is the role that Taron Egerton talks about turning down (because he didn't want to do multiple films in which his eyes were covered). I glad he turned it down, but I think if he didn't it probably would have been a bigger character arc (like, we would have definitely gotten a Cyclops spinoff). I also would DIE to see James & Taron in a movie together (my two biggest crushes!). I'm still hopeful that it will happen because they are both close with Matthew Vaughn. He's gotta put them in a movie together at some point?!! I still liked this movie on a rewatch - I like it for the simplicity and linear story compared to all the craziness of the other two prequels. This feels more straightforward and to the point. The villain is a bit weak (played by Oscar Isaac! I forgot about that!), and some of explosions look bad. And it's missing Wolverine! (except "I hope that's the last we see of that guy" made me laugh hard!). But, overall, it's fine. *shrugs shoulders*

Ranking: 

X-Men: Days of Future Past 

X2

X-Men 

X-Men: First Class 

X-Men: Apocalypse 

X-Men: The Last Stand 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Bad Monkey - There's a lot I like about this show - and I think it's something that has a great deal of potential to get really good, but it's just not quite there yet. First, the narration is PAINFUL. I typically don't like narration as a film device anyway, but this is really bad. He literally tells you everything that you know just by watching it and listening to the dialogue. Second, it should have only been 6-8 episodes instead of 10. Some of the side stories could have been completely cut - especially Michelle Monaghan's whole arc. I love her but her character seemed really pointless and they waste a lot of time on her. Or, actually, scratch the 6-8 episode thing and instead make the episodes shorter, like 30-40 minutes instead of 50-60 minute episodes. Because my third thing is that Vince Vaughn is great, but he's so much better in small doses. After that, he becomes a bit grating. And fourth, this just makes me hate Florida even more than I already do! It just looks so humid and gross, and the worst people live there! Anyway, there is a lot I like about this too, so I'm hopeful that it's given a second season so that it could maybe make some changes and be better. I really like Natalie Martinez and I think she has really good chemistry with Vaughn. Every scene they have together is the best. And I love Monaghan - if they develop her character more and intertwine her in the next mystery it will work better. I can't believe how good she looks at 48! The rest of the supporting cast is really good too - lots of Bill Lawrence connections (his daughter is in this, and some Scrubs regulars sporadically show up). And Meredith Hagner is Wyatt Russell's wife! Which is kind of weird because she kind of reminds me of Goldie Hawn. Plus, Jodie Turner-Smith - who definitely also could have used some more screentime. I like that the mysterious death is solved fairly quickly and then we get more of a perspective of these people trying to get away with this crime. There's also a great soundtrack - all the Tom Petty remixes are great! And it uses the instrumental 50 Cent song from Anatomy of a Fall. LOL. 

2. Time Bandits - Okay, so I watched the first two episodes of this and it's incredibly bad. I thought it had a fun/cute premise that was like Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure but more fantasy based, plus the cast is (mostly) amazing. I've never seen the movie, but I think it has a cult following? But I started the first episode and was horrified by how bad it was - first of all, it's cheesy as Hell. It's more aimed at kids, I think? But that's not how they advertised it. Second of all, every single member of this cast is awful - yes, even Lisa Kudrow. Actually she may even be the worst offender - but I think it's more of a case of bad casting, and a terrible wardrobe (does she take that forehead headband off...or nah?). The kid is awful (I don't want to trash talk a kid, but his name IN REAL LIFE is Kal-El??? That's like the joke in That 90s Show about Eric and Donna naming their daughter Leia Tatooine - but that's a tv show, not REAL LIFE!). And I've always hated Charlyne Yi. I read all about her lawsuit with the creators of this show and it sucks. Nobody deserves to be abused by their employers, even if they are one of the worst actresses working today. She seemed like she was gaining some popularity there for a little while, but then went away and I was grateful. Anyway, I think it's definitely trying to be funny, but I definitely didn't laugh at all, and I wasn't even entertained. Just a total failure on every level. I was toying with watching another episode of this (I don't like giving up on shows at all, but definitely feel like I should at least give a new show 3 episodes), but then I read that it was already cancelled so I'm not going to waste my time (thank the Lord!). 

3. The Penguin - It's four episodes in and so far, so good!! I liked The Batman just fine, but I don't think it was anything to rave about. But I was baffled by Colin Farrell's casting. Yes, the makeup is great, but also....just find an actor who is heavier and balding?? Why go through all of this? Colin does a great job, and obviously is unrecognizable. But, I also think that the makeup hinders his facial expression and his NY gangster accent is very spotty (although he does do a great job of changing his voice - it's also unrecognizable). Obviously the casting was a success and therefore bled into turning this character's story into a miniseries (or show? Is it just the one season or will they make more? I know it's getting good reviews, so they'll probably want to capitalize on that). The series focuses more on the gangster mob aspect and the interweaving of the Falcone's family business. I was expecting more of a Batman connection, but overall, I'm invested - especially in Sofia's story. Cristin Milioti is incredible in this role. The most recent episode with a look at her time in Arkham is the strongest yet because she's so good at showing her innocence and how someone can be driven crazy by prison (and by men, in general. LOL). The supporting cast is great - Mark Strong, they guy from Mrs. Maisel, Theo Rossi, Clancy Brown, Shohreh Aghdashloo, etc. I think some of the blocking is weird though - there are way too many shots that are either too close, or cut at weird angles. I think it's trying a little too hard to be "artsy" like The Batman. And I'm hoping that they give us a reason to care about Oz? I feel like I care about everyone else in the show except him. But overall, it's very entertaining. 

4. The Perfect Couple -  *spoilers ahead* This is the perfect miniseries to watch on a 5 hour flight from Aruba to NYC. It doesn't take too much effort to watch, it's entertaining and trashy, but also has a great cast involved that elevates it from Lifetime movie territory. I think they give away the "who did it" answer a bit too early. They try to throw the audience off and give other suspects, but they never explain why Dakota's character is desperate to wash that glass - she's someone who screams for the housekeeper to do everything 24/7 - she would never just *decide* to wash the dishes. So, it kind of felt like a waste of time for the reveal to be...revealed. But I still had fun with it because there are a few other twists along the way, and they start off each episode with such a fun dance number!! It's kind of hilarious that the cast was so against doing it (reportedly) because it's the absolute best part. I'm definitely tired of Nicole Kidman in these roles, but she does do it so well. It's nice to see Dakota Fanning in a role that is a bit different for her. I have a huge crush on Meghann Fahy since The White Lotus, and she's just as adorable here. Jack Reynor is the perfect asshole (and his American accent is getting better, I think?). Eve Hewson is also a highlight (she definitely has "it" - not all nepobabies are bad!!). But there's also some really bad casting too - like the other two brothers and the guy who plays Shooter. Just terrible acting, but the worst offender is the French woman. My God, how did they not notice how bad she was while filming and recast immediately?? It's not enough to ruin the show, but it would have been better if these 4 characters were cast better. 

5. How to Die Alone - I like this show a lot and I'm really hopeful that it gets another season, because I need to see more of this character. It stars Natasha Rothwell - she was a writer on Insecure (and she was one of my favorite characters too!), and she created this show. I can say with confidence that I am a fan for life because Insecure is SO GOOD, and this show feels unexpected and different. I like that it jumps between being laugh-out-loud funny, while also being incredibly dark and morally grey in some spots. I also think this character is fully formed - she's vulnerable, funny, sweet, and flawed. There are definitely two episode highlights - the Thanksgiving episode is probably my favorite television episode of the year. It's so well written, but not just with the jokes. It keeps the audience in suspense the whole time because you know that there are two very explosive secrets on the verge of being told in the midst of this family drama. Plus, her mom is hilarious when she starts to pray. I couldn't stop laughing. The other episode is the finale episode with her traveling to all these different places instead of going on her planned trip to Hawaii to ruin her exes wedding. It's just a really cute way to end things especially if the series doesn't continue - it's still a satisfying conclusion even though obviously it ends badly. And I love when she starts to lip synch to "Feelin' Good" when she discovers she's getting a settlement for 17k. There's some absurdity to it that reminds me of a more grounded Atlanta. I think my only criticism is that the supporting cast is a little lacking. Nobody stands out to me.  

Film Retrospective Part IV: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-1980)

1. Badlands - [blind spot] I've had this on my list for a while. I'm not exactly a Terrence Malick fan, but I thought maybe I would like his older stuff? I like The Thin Red Line, so I remain hopeful. I also adore Sissy Spacek, but I honestly thought Carrie was her first movie! It's also crazy how much a young Martin Sheen looks like Emilio Estevez! Anyway, there's definitely a lot of Malick-isms in this - like the overly poetic whispered dialogue, the shots in the tall grass, the chorus-like soundtrack, etc., but it's also very different because it's not 3 hours long and it has a plot!! And I loved it! 

2. Jaws - [rewatch] I've been due for a Jaws rewatch for quite a while now. I don't think I've seen it since I was a teenager (which was like 25 years ago!). It's just not something that every really stood out in my mind, even though I know it's one of the greatest films of all-time. And after this rewatch, I can definitely agree with everyone - it's a perfect 5 star film. Richard Dreyfuss is incredible. The story is perfect - and I love that it's not just about people getting eaten by sharks, they do a great job of developing these characters and providing depth to this story. I didn't remember the part about the hoax with the two kids, but that whole scene is great. I do think it feels a little long in parts and it starts to drag once the three of them are on the boat chit-chatting and comparing scars. I paused it at one point and was shocked that I still had a whole hour left. I also LOL'd with the dialogue "you were on the Indianapolis", "what happened" exchange because it's as if the chief of police had never heard of famous WWII stories. It's just so funny to think about. There's some outstanding camera work, and I just love that little animatronic shark. One of my favorite things to do as a kid was the the tram ride at Universal Studios in Hollywood - when you drive through the lake and then see Jaws swimming in the water towards you and then he jumps out of the water and everyone gets splashed with water. It's so much fun! I don't think they do it anymore, right? Such a shame. They play this movie every year on the beach in Cape May and I always miss it by a few days, but I'm definitely going to try to catch it one of these years. There are very famous shark attack stories here - and even though the author of the book that this is based on said it's not based on the 1916 Jersey Shore attacks, everyone from NJ will tell you otherwise. 

3. Heaven Can Wait - [rewatch] I watched this as a kid, and I always equated it with an 80s movie, so I was surprised that this came out in the late 70s. This was one of my mom's favorite movies - she wasn't a big movie person, but she really liked more lighthearted movies like this (it was either this or dark Lifetime movies). I was also surprised that Warren Beatty directed this, too. I actually didn't remember that Beatty directed any movies (like, he directed Bulworth and Dick Tracey, too??? Why don't I remember that??). This is really cute, entertaining, with some really funny moments, but it's also very stupid. It's like a precursor to movies like Heart and Souls and even 13 Going on 30 (and I love both of those movies a lot). I love Julie Christy but that hair definitely ages her by about 15 years (she's only 38 in this but she looks like she's in her 50s). It's sort of crazy that people talk about how being "woke" and political is ruining movies, but movies like this existed in the 70s (and this is definitely about being "woke" about the environment). 

4. Three Days of the Condor - [blind spot] Holy shit, Robert Redford looks so good in this - the wispy blonde hair, the popped collar on the peacoat, the glasses - I would have swooned hard in 1975. And Faye Dunaway! They are so sexy together (but the sex scene is...weird. First, all your coworkers were just MURDERED. Second, the shots of photography spliced in with the saxophone heavy score is A CHOICE). The movie, for a modern audience, feels a little cliched and slow moving, but I have to appreciate the time that this was made and that it probably inspired a whole lot of conspiracy centered stories (especially 90s films like Conspiracy Theory). Overall, I liked it, but modern movies have done it better. 

5. Stage Fright (1950) - [rewatch] One of the lesser Hitchcock films, but I've always liked it nonetheless. I like his focus on theater with this one, it feels a little outside his realm. Marlene Dietrich is delicious (but can't sing - holy shit that scene is painful), but Jane Wyman is a STAR. Her face just shines in front of the camera. I was looking up some info on her while watching this - and I had NO IDEA that she was married to Ronald Reagan?!? How weird! Anyway, I like this movie, but it is definitely too long for the story that it's telling. However, the blocking and camerawork at the end totally make the whole movie worthwhile. Just some stunning shots (the lighting hitting their eyes with the rest of their faces in shadows! SO GOOD). There's some funny bits in it too. 

6. How to Marry a Millionaire - [blind spot] I've had this movie on my list for quite a while, but couldn't find it streaming anywhere. Finally found it airing on TCM during a Lauren Bacall celebration week. I had really high hopes for this after watching Gentlemen Prefer Blondes because I was not expecting to love that movie as much as I did. I thought this would have the same effect, but unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed. It's cute, but nowhere near the brilliance of Gentlemen. I think I must now consider myself a Marilyn Monroe fan because Some Like it Hot is also among my favorite comedies. And Monroe is the unexpected highlight in this (I thought I would have praised Bacall more), but the glasses gag she does through the whole movie really got me good. She's just so naturally funny. Bacall is great too, and I like her little reference to her in real life beau Humphrey Bogart in The African Queen. I just think the story sucks and it's incredibly obvious that the guy from the beginning that they treat like shit is actually a millionaire. 

7. In the Heat of the Night - [blind spot] I love Sidney Poitier! I've seen a lot of his movies (To Sir, With Love being my favorite, and I love him in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner and A Raisin in the Sun). This movie somehow eluded me. Some of it does seem familiar, so I may have watched it or parts of it at some point. Unfortunately, I didn't love it. Some of it is good, but a lot of it is just overdone. The gum chewing is OFF THE CHARTS. The racist police officer reminded me of someone, but I couldn't figure out who. But it's all so in your face and repetitive. But the way that Sidney can shut someone down with a single stare is incredible and so satisfying. 

8. The Out-of-Towners - [blind spot] This movie stressed me out! I feel like Jack Lemmon's character is every service person's worst nightmare. He's so nasty and entitled! While I like the whole vacation gone wrong aspect, a lot of it is very anti-NYC (and anti-city life in general), which is frustrating. I also think these two people should divorce ASAP. But on a high-note - the dynamic between them is extremely funny and I like the way she's very submissive in the beginning but then gets more and more tired of his bullshit. She gets more and more hilarious as the movie goes on because she starts to come alive as he falls apart. It's a very interesting commentary on marriage and how couples handle stress. One of the things my husband and I always do when we travel is to adopt a "go with the flow" attitude. Like, nothing can get to us when we are on vacation. Flights delayed? No worries. Hotel evacuated due to a gas leak? Oh well! Phone fell out of pocket in the taxi and they left before we noticed? I guess, we'll make some calls! There's always going to be changes to the schedule and plans, and we'll just deal with it, otherwise the vacation will be ruined and what's the point in that? We'll end up miserable like these people?! NO THANK YOU. Anyway, it's also very funny in parts. The "pervert in the park" scene got me, especially when the police officer on the horse comes out of nowhere chasing them through the park. I laughed so hard. 

9. The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) - [blind spot] I vaguely remember the 90s one (I was a big Renee Russo fan back in the day. I still am, but she's not in much anymore). Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway are a dream casting (was Dunaway just in every movie in the late 60s/70s? It's kind of weird that she followed up Bonnie and Clyde with this story.), but this is another disappointing movie. It's very stylish, has some intense moments, and it's certainly not a bad movie - just kind of dull and predictable. The shots being cut up into squares reminds me of The Brady Bunch, and some of the shots are weird - like the kissing scene that dissolves into all the colors. And what was up with the sexy Chess game??? LOL. So weird. I do like the glasses he wears with the blue lenses! I want those! Otherwise, I was kind of bored. 

10. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) - [rewatch] I just watched this for the first time a few years ago, with the intention of also watching the one from the 70s (that I've never seen! I KNOW!), but I never got around to the 70s one. I went to watch it for this retrospective, but then decided to rewatch this one again first because I remember LOVING it! I think the 70s one is held in higher regard, so I'm even more excited to see it because I think this one is close to perfect. I love how simple & menacing the score is. I love how it feels like a longer episode of The Twilight Zone. And I love the chemistry between the leads. I feel like sometimes these older horror movies have terrible acting because it's too cheesy (like The Blob for instance), but this is an exception. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Bad Boys: Ride or Die - The last Bad Boys was a bit of a disappointment - especially *spoiler* killing off a beloved character. This one was slightly better - I'm glad that they addressed this previous death and still made him part of this story (and an essential part, at that!). BUT - they cast a new woman as Theresa!!! WHAT THE FUCK?! Did they think we wouldn't notice?? Other than that, I enjoyed most of this - there's some good laughs, and an interesting story with some twists & turns (although the second I saw Eric Dane I said "bad guy" - and I think it's pretty clear from early on who the other bad guy is). I didn't really like the whole introduction of Mike's son in the previous one, but I really liked him in this. He plays off of the two of them really well and brings a calming energy to their craziness. I just really wish Bay would take the franchise back (he still does a cameo in this so he's not given it totally up yet - *crosses fingers*). There's some dumb parts, of course, like if they are fugitives, wouldn't cops already be assigned outside their houses? A whole team of assassins wouldn't be able to break in inconspicuously, but it does lead to a very, very good scene with Marcus' son-in-law. I love that they gave him a scene to shine in. I also LOVE the Reba McEntire cover of "Bad Boys" had me ROLLING. I can't believe they got her to do that. It's perfect.  

2. His Three Daughters - Such a beautiful and moving story about grief and dealing with the loss of a loved one through the tale of sibling rivalry. Natasha Lyonne, Carrie Coon and Elizabeth Olsen knock this out of the park - easily the three best performances I've seen this year, and I could not choose between them even if my life depended on it. They are submitting for "supporting" categories for awards, but they are definitely 3 lead performances (they are all in the movie for more than 50% of the runtime - that's a lead performance). But it will probably help their chances of winning. I kind of hope they give the edge to Lyonne - only because she's been in the industry longer and deserves the recognition (it's also very clear that only one of these sisters is from New York in real life so Lyonne has the edge there a bit). But anyway, the way these characters are developed and that the relationship dynamics are so clear within minutes of the film really speak to how well this film is written. So, if I'm going to root for any awards for this - I'm going with Original Screenplay for Azazel Jacobs (he also directed this. I'm not familiar with him, but I just looked up his IMDB and he graduated from the same college as me! A lot of now famous actors went to my school, but it's nice to see some behind the scenes love!). It's just gorgeously written - I might seek out the actual screenplay to read. Each sister is given such a specific identity with just a few lines and descriptors (like how Olsen's character is a former Deadhead - just from that tiny bit of information, I know so much about her). There are a few scenes that really blew me away - when the guy confronts the two sisters about how he has been there for their father more than they have, and how rude they are treating the other sister. And the dad's monologue at the end nearly brought a tear to my eye. There are also some funnier, lighthearted moments that keep the film from being dragged down ("married a few crazy bitches, raised a few crazy bitches" Hahaha!!). I think the only thing that sort of creeped into my mind while watching this is that the spouses and grandchildren aren't around too? That's weird - if my husband's parent was in hospice, I would be there with him to say goodbye. It just struck me as false that they are talking to their spouse on the phone, telling them how hard it is to watch your parent slowly die. They should be there!

3. Challengers - I don't really get the hype around Luca Guadagnino, but I liked this more than I've liked any of his previous movies. I'm not sure that says much - but to be clear, I think his previous movies are all 3 star movies - they are "good", but that's it. But this one had my attention slightly more and I really like the way the story unfolds so I rated it 3.5 stars. If I liked the cast more, I probably would have rated it 4 stars. I think this is probably the best I've seen Zendaya (I don't think she's a good actress. Sorry! I like her, though!). I don't see anything special about Mike Faust. Josh O'Connell is the saving grace, but I don't find him attractive. But going back to Zendaya - I just think the casting is weird because these two guys describe her as "the hottest woman they've ever seen" and that...just...can't be true? She's very pretty, cute, stylish, her "face card never declines" as the kids say, etc., but HOTTEST WOMAN EVER? I also don't know much about tennis, but every woman tennis player I've ever seen is muscular and toned - especially in their arms, and Zendaya is a stick!! (that's not a bad thing! I'm a stick too, although I might not be able to say that anymore since I started finally gaining weight since I turned 40). I just would have cast completely different people in these roles. I saw some criticize the time jumps, but I think that's the only thing that kept it really interesting. That, and the love triangle aspect. But there are some scenes that are very bad - like the scene with the wind (insanely bad filmmaking), and the slo-mo scenes combined with the techno music....ugh. I actually saw a lot of praise for the slow motion scenes (some described it as "epic" LOL), but I rolled my eyes every single time. The other bad part is that tennis is fucking boring. I basically painted my nails during the actual tennis scenes because I can't waste my time watching a fucking ball get hit back and forth. I was WAITING for him to do the stupid gesture with the ball in the center FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE because it's a BIG foreshadowing moment in the beginning. So, of course, they wait for the end. And then it...just...ends. I like that they don't give the audience an ending, but it's obviously a bit unsatisfying for all this build-up. 

4. I Saw the TV Glow - I'm very surprised that I didn't really like this. But then again, the best comparison I can give is that it's Twin Peaks level of weird, and I've never really been a Twin Peaks fan (I like certain aspects of it). I also saw a review that described it as "Donnie Darko for they/thems" which is 100% true - but I never really liked Donnie Darko either so that makes sense. I definitely like what it's trying to do, and I'm glad that people are connecting to it - especially queer & trans audiences. I just think Justice Smith is terrible and his voice bothers me so much - it's so monotoned! The younger actor playing him also looks nothing like him, so that's a bit weird. And they should have just kept the younger actor for more of the movie because they introduce Smith when it jumps 2 years later (making him 15ish?) and Smith looks like a 30 year old (he's 29 in real life). It's very distracting. And then 42 year old Danielle Deadwyler is his mom (she's younger than me for fuck sake!), and she's severely underused. There's just so much I don't like about it right from the beginning, and then he breaks the 4th wall and I almost slammed my head into a wall. It's just...bad. I think it should have leaned way more into the asexuality aspect - and the childhood trauma that he suffers PTSD from. While I do believe that you are born with your sexuality (and I do believe that it's a spectrum), asexuality is also linked to childhood abuse (two things can be true at the same time). It's not as talked about publicly because it takes away from the "born this way" mentality, but I think it's a mistake to not fully discuss ideas because they don't fit into a certain theory. Anyway, I just wish they explored the ideas more instead of being so abstract. There's some disturbing scenes, but it all feels very amateur and derivative. I liked the ending though - where he watches this tv show (a teenage obsession) as an adult and is like "what the fuck? This is terrible" (not actual dialogue) because I'm sure if I tried to watch any of those Nickelodeon shows like Salute Your Shorts or Are you Afraid of the Dark?, they would be painful to watch as an adult. 

5. Asphalt City - This is grim. But the good kind of grim. The kind of grim that you expect with the story revolving around paramedics navigating their job in NYC. There's a great cast - Sean Penn, Tye Sheridan, and Michael Pitt (who should be a much bigger star by now. What the fuck is taking so long?). But there's also...Mike Tyson? I love how everyone keeps talking about "me too" and "canceling" people in Hollywood, but then they keep employing abusers like Mike Tyson (and Sean Penn, but that's, at least, a grey area...). It's just baffling. It's not like he's a great actor or brings anything to the table. It's very easy to just...not...hire him. ANYWAY, otherwise, I liked this movie a lot. I think it does a good job in showing the psychological and emotional effects of stressful jobs like this - ones where life and decisions are made regularly, and also dealing with emotionally unwell people in NYC must be incredibly draining. Trying to remain unbiased when you're dealing with drug addicts is a *big* part of the plot, and it is explored in a very dark and gritty way. Penn is exactly how you'd expect, playing a grizzled paramedic training the new kid on the block. Sheridan has been hit or miss for me, but he's very good here - especially during the scene towards the end. Incredible stuff. I just don't like seeing him in sex scenes because he still seems like he's 15 to me. He's a BABY! And Michael Pitt is great as the bully/asshole character, but I wish he was in it more. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Civil War - As I expected, I really liked this. I can see the criticism, but I also think people were expecting something that the film was never going to be. I really like Alex Garland projects, for the most part, so I kind of already assumed I would like this (I even liked Men and, man, people fucking hate that movie). I think the film has a few really strong moments - and stays true to the story of the experience of photojournalists during wartime. It's an insane job, and it's also very critical to our understanding of current events. The whole "fake news" cycle has really damaged journalism as whole, but a lot of the problem is that just like with film journalism & criticism, it's been taken over by influencers & "personalities" who have a whole lot to say, but don't actually know what they're talking about. There's also a lot of "keyboard warriors" pretending to be journalists, but real journalist are on the ground like this. I also like the relationship that forms between Kristen Dunst and Cailee Spaeny, although I feel like Dunst plays this role a little too weathered at her age (she's my age but acts like she's 65). Spaeny is incredible, though. She's a star, for sure. I like the references to how half the country are just pretending like the war is not happening. I think that will definitely be true to reality (I do think people are hyperbolizing the possibility of civil war happening soon, BUT, also please stop trying to assassinate a presidential nominee because that will definitely do it). Like, if a civil war is declared, my company will still expect us to go to work and sell over-priced yoga pants and dresses, and pretend like nothing is wrong just like they did during a worldwide pandemic. But the clear highlight is the 7 minute long scene featuring Jesse Plemons - it's such a testament to his talent that he was able to steal the whole movie with this one scene. He gives it so much life and intensity that it became the social media marketing for the movie (and a popular meme), and he's not even credited! The only criticism I have is that the end feels really cheap and the action has a very video game style that I don't care for (I've seen people compare it to Call of Duty, but I wouldn't know). I don't know, the set pieces just feel so fake and the "war" seems so controlled instead of the chaos it's supposed to represent. Also, I just really don't like the girl from Devs that Garland uses in every movie (I think she's been in every single one of his projects since Ex Machina? And she is the same girl from The House of the Dragon! I thought it was her, but then I doubted myself). She's a terrible actress, but she's not in this enough for it to matter, thankfully. 

2. The Union - Oh my God what a stupid fucking movie. It's certainly not a bad movie - very average, but for these two superstars I have to believe they should be getting offered better roles than this? I will always watch a Marky Mark movie, but I laughed out loud when I saw the Letterboxd description of the plot as Mark playing a character from New Jersey. I was immediately skeptical. It's like when Ben Affleck tries to play someone from New York. It just doesn't work when you've become so synonymous with a certain city. And just in case you didn't get that he's from NJ - they play Springsteen within the first 10 minutes and then AGAIN 5 minutes later (I looked up filming locations and I think the only NJ location they used is Jersey City for the one beginning scene - which doesn't even make sense because they are supposed to be from Paterson. Why would they hang out in Jersey City as teens? It's an hour away without traffic....ANYWAY....). You don't have to worry about Mark attempting the NJ accent because he doesn't, and then his "new identity" that he is given by this black ops group is a guy from Boston, so he pretends like he's changing his accent to Boston but it's exactly the same accent - except that he does make fun of the "pahk the cah" typical Boston dialogue, which made me laugh. I also laughed when the guy asks "do you know Good Will Hunting?". But I think those are the only two times I laughed through the whole movie that is clearly trying to be funny. I want to like Halle Berry, I really do. And I used to like her. But lately she's been very bad in everything and I'm in the process of rewatching all the X-Men movies and she's....eeek. I feel like she's maybe always been a bad actress, but I didn't know enough about acting to notice? She's STUNNING though. But they give her a horrible haircut in this and they make her wear a hat - that's not a beret- as a beret and it looks so fucking stupid. I think it's adorable that Mark and Halle have been friends for over 30 years (the pictures of them at the end are so cute!), but they have ZERO chemistry together. It's also very obvious that *spoiler alert* Mike Coulter is going to be the bad guy because he "dies" in the beginning but we don't see a dead body (he falls into a river). It's just so fucking stupid. 

3. La Chimera - I rated this 3 stars because it's well-made and well-acted, but I can't really say that I liked it. In fact, I found it very, very boring. Like, way more boring than I was expecting. I saw a few reviews focus on the "slow burn" of the storytelling, but "slow burn" doesn't have to mean boring. I should be invested and interested in the outcome of this story and I definitely wasn't. I like Josh O'Connor a lot, but he did nothing for me here. There are some great shots, but still not enough to hold my attention, AND it's over 2 hours long! And nothing happens! Why does it take over 2 hours for them to tell this very simple story??? The only part that really caught my attention was when I thought "wow that woman looks like an old version of Isabella Rossellini" only to realize that that's HER! Holy shit! They made her look so old!? I know she's in her 70s, but she's never looked it before. It was very jarring. But that's pretty much all I have to say about this movie. I'm glad others enjoyed it and found value in it (there's a ridiculous number of 5 star reviews on Letterboxd), but it's not for me. 

4. Fancy Dance - I think this is a good movie, but I can't help but think that a miniseries that really focuses on the development and relationship of these characters could have been so much better. The story feels rushed and I never get to know them enough to understand them. I'm not the biggest fan of Lily Gladstone - I have yet to see her deliver any emotion aside from annoyed, distant, and stoic (and she does that well, but I need to see range before I'll call someone good at acting). She's the same here - just no emotion in her face or voice at all. And, again, that fits the character, but also that just might be her? I like the story that they are trying to tell - there is a lot of depth and history behind this story that is constantly being recalled and referenced. There's an entire history of missing Native American women, and nobody cares. And it's been happening for lifetimes. The missing woman is not the focus of this story, however, but it's always there. The consequences of her going missing is the catalyst for the story. The bond that forms between the missing woman's daughter and sister - the lengths that she will go to (and has to go to) in order to keep her niece's Native American culture in the forefront is the main focus of the story. On a related note - I only recently learned that non-Native American people using the term "powwow" is offensive. It's not something I ever really thought about because as Americans, we use a lot of words from different languages and cultures because we're a melting pot!! So, when someone would say "powwow" I would just think "a quick meeting", not really understanding the cultural significance of the word. Using the word as a non-Native American trivializes a custom and the real meaning of the word. So *the more you know*! Anyway, the highlight is definitely the ending - with them dancing at the powwow. It's incredibly beautiful and powerful. Also, the young girl is terrific (and outshines Gladstone for most of the movie!). 

5. The Watchers - There's a great little horror story here, but ultimately if feels like an M. Night Shyamalan movie minus the flair. I'm not always a fan of Shyamalan, but I have a level of respect for what he does (I just think he's bad with actors and some of his shot set-ups are eye-rolling). I'm referencing Shyamalan because it's his daughter that directed this movie. For a directorial debut, I'm definitely interested. There's a lot of good here, but a lot of it is also very stupid. First, I think there's a similar horror movie maybe called The Forest with Natalie Dormer (if I remember it correctly it was about a haunted forest that made people commit suicide). But this definitely goes in a different direction - but that direction is more or less batshit crazy. Second, I love the mythology aspect and that the story becomes more about the very real human emotion of guilt, but they should have focused way more on the latter. The guilt of someone taking someone else's life (even if by accident) has to feel all-consuming - and makes for very interesting stories about human trauma. Third, some of the dialogue is so cringy and embarrassing ("you wouldn't like me if you knew the real me" - it's about as cliche as it gets). But, it's interesting, and the cast is great (the girl from Barbarian is in this! She's so good! I hope she breaks away from the horror genre. Maybe she has, but I just haven't seen her in anything?). Dakota is back to being good again (there was a period of time in which she sucked - The Twilight movies, The Runaways), and she is *excellent* in this and she looks great as a brunette. Overall, I can't really say I recommend it because it's dumb, but I was strangely entranced by it. 

4 Thoughts on The Emmys

1. The Host(s) - I love Eugene and Dan Levy - I think they were a good choice to host this year because they are more wholesome and loveable than a lot of comedians would be. They did a decent job - nothing special, but it was ok. I definitely would have preferred more jokes (I think they really only had one good joke: "In the spirit of The Bear, we will not be making any jokes"). The rest of it was just...cute. It was probably a mistake to have the trio from Only Murders in the Building present together because they killed it - and were far funnier than the hosts. They NEED to host an awards show together ASAP. It would be complete chaos but in the best way possible. I did like that the hosts brought out the rest of the Schitt's Creek family to present the last award (giving Catherine O'Hara the final moment). Overall, they played it pretty safe, which is exactly that...safe. 

2. The Show - A solid show! Not as good as the Emmys that aired earlier this year, but a strong follow-up I think. They continued the classic tv reunions and rebuilding familiar tv sets thing, and added a classic tv character trope thing ("tv dads", "tv doctors", "tv lawyers" etc) that made for some fun presenters - like Niecy Nash-Betts bringing back Deputy Raineesha Williams from Reno 911, which was hilarious. I love her so much. I think John Leguizamo gave a really nice speech about the importance of representation in the media that didn't feel contrived or forced - he's naturally passionate about it and did a great job of explaining why it is so vital for people to see themselves represented on screen. I don't know who Jelly Roll is, but he has a nice voice (and I like tattoos but face tattoos are on another level!). Richard Gadd gave THREE very good speeches (what an inspiration!). The worst part was the weird advertisement intro for Johnnie Walker with Ebon and whoever that other guy is. I know the liquor industry is a little panicked right now with sales (my husband is in the industry), but this ad made me not want to buy Johnnie Walker ever again. It doesn't help that they got the two worst people to banter together - they should have had Kristen Wiig and anyone else (she can banter with anyone!). The show seemed to move fairly quickly, with very little hiccups. I just think it could have been funnier. 

3. The Winners - I'm actually fairly happy with the winners - they spread the love slightly more than previous years with wins for The Bear, Hacks, Ripley, Shogun, The Crown, Slow Horses, Baby Reindeer and Fargo instead of last year where only 3 shows got all the awards. I have not seen Shogun yet, so that's the only win I can't really comment on but I've heard nothing but rave reviews, and I've already declared my love for Anna Sawai in Monarch: Legend of the Monsters, so I'm so happy she won. The second season of The Bear was *just* as strong as the first season, which is super rare, so I'm glad for all the winners. I don't think it will get showered with as many awards next year (I still thought it was good, but the third season definitely received mix reactions). But as far as "comedy" goes - Hacks is better. Jean Smart is a LEGEND, so her winning over Ayo is surprising, but also deserving. I was also surprised that a legend did not win the Supporting Actress in a Comedy category - I thought FOR SURE it would go to Meryl Streep or Carol Burnett because WHO CAN COMPETE WITH MERYL STREEP AND CAROL BURNETT???? I was SHOCKED Liza Colon-Zayas won. That's so crazy!! Another shocking win was Lamorne Morris!! It's a weird win among that cast, but he's not undeserving. I think the category was definitely weak (Jon Hamm should have gone supporting because he probably would have won). The only win that really upset me was Jodie Foster over Juno Temple. Foster was the best part of True Detective: Night Country, but that's...not saying much. While Juno BLEW MY MIND in the most recent season of Fargo. I'm not even a big fan of hers - I've actively criticized her acting multiple times on this blog. But a great performance is a great performance - and I will always admit when someone surprises me (and I actually welcome it! Waiting for Elisabeth Moss or Julia Garner to do the same!). 

4. The Fashion - Not going to lie - I was so bored by the fashion this year. There were so many black dresses, with a few pops of red or metallic, but NOBODY took any risks and that's always boring. My favorite dress is, I guess, the metallic, medieval number than Kristen Wiig wore, because at least it felt different. Anna Sawai also looked GORGEOUS. And Catherine O'Hara somehow went backwards in time because she looks younger and younger every time I see her (SHE IS 70 YEARS OLD!!). Everyone else bored me - Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon wore the exact same dress they always wear. Naomi Watts...blah, Sofia Vergara...blah, Viola Davis...blah. I had high hopes for Ella Purnell, but that look ages her. I wish she wore something more youthful. Ditto for Selena Gomez. The worst dresses were the dress that Sarah Paulson wore - what the heck was happening at the bottom??? Kaitlin Olson - eek. And Greta Lee looks like she's wearing a dollar store version of Bjork's infamous swan dress. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Immaculate - *some spoilers ahead* First of all, I'm a big Sydney Sweeney fan - she's absolutely gorgeous, but I also think she's very talented and that gets a bit overlooked because she's so gorgeous (kinda like Alexandra Daddario). I didn't like her in Anyone But You, but I just don't think that romcoms are her genre. I did really like her in that other horror movie that she did where she was a twin - I can't think of the name of the movie, but she was excellent in it (and the rest of the movie was bad). I appreciate that she found a story that she was passionate about and decided to take matters into her own hands and produce this movie. It's sort of a shame that it came out so closely to The First Omen because they are eerily similar stories and they are equally great (I think I would put this slightly above The First Omen, but probably only because of Sydney's presence. The First Omen is probably better made, but it's very close). I think this would have gotten a better reception if the exact same movie didn't come out just a few months prior. However, it's very strong - there are some scenes that are just so good, like how she plans her escape by faking a miscarriage (although I don't think chickens have that much blood?!). And I like how the people at the convent just go full on evil - the line "If this is not the will of God, then why does God not stop us?" is delicious. It sums up these religious cults so succinctly with just that one sentence. Literally sent chills up my spine. There's some gorgeous imagery that is definitely referential to past movies, but still very much its own thing. And wonderful supporting performances from Benedetta Porcaroli (she's so beautiful too! She reminds me of someone but I can't put my finger on it. Penelope Cruz, maybe?) and the woman from The White Lotus! The ending is really strong too, which is hard to accomplish in films like this. 

2. The Instigators - Okay, I get that this isn't a great movie, but reviews seem overly harsh, in my opinion. It's a solid 3 star movie! I was entertained! Matt Damon and Casey Affleck have great chemistry and seem like they're having a ton of fun! What else do you want??! The overall plot is insanely stupid, but there's also something very charming about how dumb these characters are - just the worst heist ever with everything that could go wrong, in fact, going wrong. I think it's kind of funny that Clooney and Pitt have their own Apple film coming out. It's like the A team and the B team of Ocean's Eleven (although I think both Damon and Affleck are A team now but they weren't back then). I prefer Casey over Ben, as far as acting - he's a FAR better actor (and Ben should stick to directing!). And I'll always love Matt Damon - I do think this is the first movie that I said "wow he's getting old", so I laughed when Affleck says "what are you...60?". He's still so handsome because men look BETTER as they age (for the most part). I also love Paul Walter Hauser, but he's definitely underused - and the dialogue that he had to work with is quite painful. A lot of the dialogue could have definitely been better - but Damon and Affleck make it work, for the most part. It's not something I would highly recommend or anything, but if you're in the mood for a dumb heist movie with two loveable stars, then this will fit the bill perfectly. 

3. Kinds of Kindness - Welp, my favorite film of the year - and I highly doubt that will change because I think this is close to a masterpiece and there's very few of those made each year. I think you really have to like Yorgos Lanthimos' weird side to fully enjoy this. Like, if you thought The Lobster was a masterpiece then you'll likely love this too. The films that have more general audience appeal tend to be my least favorite by him (The Favourite, Poor Things - both are definitely "weird", but still have a tangible cohesive story). I love that it's three separate stories that definitely still feel connected by loose threads and I think if I rewatched it those threads would be a bit clearer. I think it also helps the 2 hour and 44 minute runtime feel less like 2 hours and 44 minutes because there's clear pause points and it feels like you're watching 3 short stories instead of one movie. I think I might be in the minority with the first part being my favorite? I really dig all three, but my initial feeling is that the first story feels the strongest. I think the other two are assisted by Emma Stone's dynamic performance (she's not in the first story as much), and are therefore thought to be "stronger". The entire cast is fabulous - playing different characters in each story - Jesse Plemons has the most to do, but great supporting performances from Margaret Qualley, Willem Dafoe, Hong Chau (she's been *excellent* at choosing projects lately - this, The Menu, Poker Face, etc.) and Joe Alwyn (on a sidenote, isn't Stone part of Taylor Swift's crew?? Weird that she would do a movie with Alwyn when according to her fanbase, he is the devil? My point is he's probably not that bad if one of her besties willingly works with him). Hunter Schafer also has a really strong scene (actually probably the strongest scene of the entire thing, aside from Stone's dance scene that became the main marketing for the film). Anyway, I just love that the film focuses on uncomfortable realities of human nature - those who thrive on power and domination vs those who seek out being dominated. And even though sex is a large part of this, it's not the sole focus (there are also focuses on cult behavior, domestic abuse, corporate dominance, etc.). I was flicking through some reviews after I watched this and someone noted that the film is basically a visual form of the Eurythmics song "Sweet Dreams" (which is featured in the movie). I can't remember who and now I can't find the review, but yes, that is exactly what this movie is. I also love how each "story" never goes how you expect it to - it's weird and wacky, but every action seems purposeful (instead of being weird just to be weird), like how in the 3rd story Emma drives her car as if she's participating in a drag race every time she drives - it seems totally out of character, but it somehow builds character at the same time (and also is great foreshadowing for the end). And best of all, it's actually very funny. If you get it. 

4. The Killer (2024) - I love Omar Sy so much! I'm not sure if I've mentioned that on this blog because I've really only seen him in The Intouchables and then one of the best current shows, Lupin. He deserves to be a huge star though. Unfortunately this movie isn't going to push him to that direction. It's not a bad movie, but I don't think I'll remember a single thing about it in a few months. I could already tell you before I pressed play that this movie did not need to be 2 hours - it should have been 100 minutes tops. I rated it 3 stars, but if it had tighter editing and a few other changes it could have easily been a 4 star movie. It's a ton of fun, and the fight choreography is so smooth. Especially the ending - the fight sequence that moves along to the cool suspenseful jazz music just works so well. John Woo knows how to direct these types of films, obviously, and I think he really finds the right rhythm for these films that a lot of other directors don't understand. I didn't realize until after watching this that Woo remade his own movie! I've never seen the original, obvi, but that's kind of interesting. Sy is obviously the highlight, but the rest of the cast is mostly good too. I LOVE Diana Silvers and her version of "Let's Live for Today" (the Pachinko song!!!) is SO GOOD. She's not really believable as being blind, though. I don't know the main girl, but she reminds me of Meghan Markle (and I like Meghan Markle!). Plus, MY FAVORITE BAD GUY EVER - Fouchet from Bad Boys (I can't believe that was like 30 years ago!). The worst part is definitely Sam Worthington because for some weird reason he does an Irish accent. Why not just let him have his natural Australian accent? Especially because he can't do accents? Is this like when Charlie Hunnam chose to do a Northern Irish accent because "it's his favorite"? Actors really need to learn their limits. 

5. A Quiet Place: Day One - I thought this was very good. Just as good as the first two, and they both landed on my "Best of" list in their years of release. I think a lot of people were expecting answers, and were therefore disappointed, but I think it's weird to expect answers for a story like this. That's not what these stories are about - they are about survival and human instinct and connections, not "why did the aliens attack Earth and where did they come from?". I usually *never* connect with these disaster flicks because I would just die. If the world was ending and millions of people are dead and there are no resources, I would just kill myself. But, as my husband always points out, I would absolutely stay alive *just* to make sure my cats are ok. So, this film, being that its main plot is that this woman is trying to save her cat and get a slice of NY pizza (and *spoiler* then die), is SUPER relatable. And, once again, Lupita gives a stellar performance but it's in a horror movie so it will be ignored come awards season. The way she can show terror in her eyes is a masterclass in acting. I do think that this film leans more towards disaster movie than horror, but my point still stands. I'm not fully convinced by Joseph Quinn, though. He's fine in this, but comparatively, Lupita outshines him in every moment. I thought he was also okay in Stranger Things, but he rose to film star so quickly and I don't really understand why (and he even got a coveted role with the Fantastic Four reboot!). They also got a great cat for this role - although I do find it mostly unbelievable that she's able to find the cat in all that chaos in NYC of all places. And I spent the whole film stressed out about the cat because if it were me - I would have had my cat in a bag or on a leash! There are several scenes in which the cat is not in the shot and it would stress me out! WHERE IS THE CAT?! I think Djimon Hounsou is extremely underused - and so unbelievable that he would be on the same boat that they were trying to get to. That's a bit ridiculous for a city with a population of 8 million people. And, even though the ending is a happy one (for some), everyone on the boat is probably going to die anyway, right? Also, as I write this post on the 23rd anniversary of 9/11, the imagery used of people running through NYC covered in soot and ash still stings. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Fall Guy - YAY I loved this!!! I had high hopes for it, but ultimately I thought I was going to be disappointed. It's so much fun, though, and Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt are such a perfect pairing - I could watch them in a thousand more movies together. Although, I think Gosling has a knack for finding that chemistry with all of his co-stars (Emma Stone, Ana de Armas, Margot Robbie, Rachel McAdams, Carey Mulligan, Michelle Williams - the list goes on!!). He just excels so much in these types of roles because he's not afraid to make a fool out of himself and have fun. You can tell that he doesn't take himself too seriously, but he is also very committed and puts his all into his work. I truly hope he never gets to the point where he just "phones it in" like a lot of other actors of his stature. This film felt like not only a love letter to the stunt community, but to the filmmaking community as a whole - and to the people who often get overlooked, even though they are the backbone of the production. It doesn't invent the wheel as far as plot and structure, but it still feels fresh and new and just plain fun. However, I do understand why it didn't do as well at the box office as many had hoped. First, the trailer is a little cheesy. Second, the average movie-goer does not care about how movies are made. Any film that is described as a love letter to Hollywood is not going to win the attention of a general audience. A production budge of +100 million is expected with the caliber of stunt work, action sequences, and movie stars, but they wasted their money in marketing. They should have leaned into the action and the romance (like The Lost City) and let people discover the rest on their own - and I think they would have enjoyed it (the general audience RT score is actually slightly higher than the critic score). Anyway, it's my favorite movie of the year. It has everything I want - Ryan Gosling at his hottest and most charming, dialogue that is rich in humor, emotion, and sarcasm, a love story that you root for, and just an overall good time at the movies. The only real criticism I have is that Stephanie Hsu is severely underused and I find Aaron Taylor-Johnson very annoying in 90% of things. 

2. IF - This movie is kind of rough to sit through, BUT I have to give it some props for being an original family friendly movie. It has some great ideas and reminds me of movies that I grew up with - that have harsh realities but are still appropriate for kids to watch (The Secret Garden, My Girl, etc). And yet, I think it's a little too boring for younger kids and older kids would deem themselves "too cool" for it, so I'm not really sure its intended audience. There's obviously an amazing cast of actors (mostly used in voice roles). And then there's Awkwafina (I feel like someone is pranking me? How is she getting all these voice roles?). The best gag of the whole thing is the "introducing Brad Pitt" bit. The main girl is a very good actress - it took me about an hour before I realized that she's little Judith Grimes from The Walking Dead! She's all grown up! I've never been a big fan of Ryan Reynolds outside of Deadpool, and this film reminded me why. He's a terrible actor and I will never understand how anyone thinks he's hot?! I...just...don't see it. There are plenty of Hollywood men that are highly praised as hot that I simply don't get - Chris Evans, for example - but I would never say he's not hot. I just don't think he's a good actor or has any charisma. But Reynolds baffles me. Anyway, clearly his hotness is not a factor for a movie like this, but my point still stands. I don't understand his entire career? Like, how did he get to this A-list level? But, I digress. Back to this movie. I think it was a mistake to have a twist - again, young kids aren't going to get it and older kids won't care. It's also very obvious, at least, to me (but my husband was like "what the fuck is going on?" and I said what I thought the twist was and he was like "ohhhhh yeah, that makes sense. Why didn't they just say that from the beginning?" I guess in a kids movie you don't really expect it to have a big twist.). Also, the scenes with her dad in the hospital feel very off. I guess they didn't want to make it too depressing (for the kids!), but heart surgery is, like, a very big deal and he would not have this much energy if he was going through something like that. 

3. The Bikeriders - Well, there's a first for everything. And this movie is, unfortunately, the first Jeff Nichols film that I did not like (I've actually LOVED almost all of them - Loving being the weak link, but still good). I like the way Nichols tells a story - they always feel deeply personal and told with a great deal of detail and depth, and they are often more slice-of-life than the traditional arcs of storytelling. It's hard to pinpoint why I didn't like this - but a large portion of my dislike is that I think Hardy and Butler are awful in this. Hardy isn't as bad, but I think he's done this whole quiet but tough mumbly character a few too many times. But Butler CLEARLY took this role to do his best James Dean impression and it actually made me laugh out loud several times. It's just so ridiculous. However, Jodie Comer is acting circles around these two and then some. I know some thought the accent was overdone, but sometimes the Chicago accent does sound that dramatic - and I thought it really suited her. I would have honestly thought she was from Chicago if I didn't already know that she's not. But the film being mostly from her perspective does give a slightly interesting story. I do think you could just watch any episode of Sons of Anarchy and you'd get the same thing. There's a great supporting cast - a Nichols' favorite Michael Shannon, Karl Glusman, Boyd Holbrook - but I think they made a mistake by having too many side characters. It was hard to keep track of who was who and why I should care about them (in short, I did not care about any of them). And also Emory Cohen, who I do not like. I really laughed through most of it - especially the crying at the end. And when Hardy seems to not know personal space boundaries and he gets sooo close to his co-stars that they almost seem uncomfortable - there is literally a scene where I thought Hardy and Butler might kiss because they are just *that* uncomfortably close. 

4. Ricky Stanicky - Okay so this movie is very stupid and ridiculous. The beginning is really rough, and these characters are extremely awful people. But then somewhere in the middle it actually becomes mostly funny and I found myself rooting for everything to work out. I really like John Cena - he's another actor who is not afraid to make fun of himself and be ridiculous all in the name of entertaining an audience. He's the highlight in this, and I really, really, really wish we got to see him perform Britney in *that* outfit - even if it was an after credits scene. They truly messed up by not giving the audience that. Zac Efron has a natural talent for comedy and more lighthearted stuff - I think he should stick to these types of roles. There's a lot of funny lines that are mostly throwaway lines, while the lines that they give the laugh beat to, drop with a loud *thud* noise (like I laughed really hard at "I feel like Jason Bateman in every episode of Ozark"). I think it just tries a little too hard to be outrageous like The Hangover, but it doesn't reach those levels. But like I said, by the end, I found myself laughing and being entertained. It's very "boys club" humor, and if that's not your thing then definitely skip this. 

5. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga - I've liked all the Mad Max movies (although, I haven't actually seen the 3rd movie from the original trilogy yet). I was looking forward to this entry because Furiosa is a great character, and I love Anya. My expectations were sort of leveled because one of my favorite movie people gave it 2.5 stars and another of my favorite movie people gave it 5 stars - so it could have gone either way for me. I ended up rating it 3.5 stars. It easily could have been 4 stars had they not cast Chris Hemsworth. He was almost unwatchable, honestly. His higher than normal octave voice mixed with the Australian accent and the horrible prosthetics on his face is just a big miss for me. I've definitely softened on Hemsworth - and have fully admitted that he's been good in smaller doses, and largely comedic roles, but he is by NO MEANS a good actor. It seems George Miller disagrees with me (that's fine, a lot of people disagree with me on an array of things). Anya is great though, and the film really comes alive when she FINALLY appears on screen. Sorry, but it's INSANE that the STAR of your movie doesn't appear until an HOUR into your movie!!! I was getting so annoyed. I know there were a lot of complaints about it not looking very good in comparison to Fury Road, but I think it looks great. It's still a visually compelling, well made film. The action sequences and set design are superb. I just think the casting of Hemsworth ruins the whole film. But what do I know? Also, the fact that they refer to this as a "Mad Max saga" implies that they might do more movies with other characters? That could be interesting. 

Movie Marathon: Planet of the Apes

1. Planet of the Apes (1968) - A perfect movie. The greatest movie ending of all-time. Huge cultural impact. Outstanding makeup and effects for the time period. Engrossing allegories for racism and political corruption, along with long-standing battles between religion and evolution. A superb performance from "bright eyes" Charlton Heston. And my grandfather's favorite movie! My favorite line isn't the one you'd expect - instead it's "Remember, never trust anyone over 30". It became a popular tagline with the growing frustration of the Vietnam War, but ultimately is about the common idea that the older people get, the more corrupt they become. It's like younger generations saying "ok, boomer". I think the original sentiment does hold some truth - a lot of people become more concerned with self-interest as they age, instead of others and the future of the planet. Anyway, as mentioned, the greatest ending of all-time - and not just because of the delicious twist. Just from a filmmaking perspective, it's glorious. The way that you see the shapes formed by the Statue of Liberty without realizing what it is until the camera zooms out - just spectacular. And the sound of the crashing waves as the film ends. Hasn't been topped in 56 years! 

2. Beneath the Planet of the Apes - As far as the original films go, I think I've watched them all (with my grandfather), but the only one I've rewatched and remember clearly is the first one - so all these sequels feel like first-time watches for me. I feel like none of the sequels are held to any high regard, but I liked this one. I'm surprised that this film starts right from where the first one ends - I definitely thought there would be a bigger jump forward. I like the way it focuses on nuclear war (or "weapons of peace" as it's referred to) because it seems like a natural progression of the story. I do think they just rehash the first one a little too closely and they got an actor who looks just like Charlton Heston but HOTTER. He's so handsome! I think they definitely also try to do another shocking ending, and it's good but nowhere near the levels of the first. The visual effects also seem to decrease in quality as these movies go on, which doesn't make sense. Shouldn't they get better? 

3. Escape from the Planet of the Apes - I also liked this one! I like that it flips the story so that the apes are now on a planet with humans, so that they are now the minority - but the whole time travel thing is starting to do my head in (like, traveling to the future makes sense in this world, but traveling to the past...does not? I don't know how to explain it). The success of these films is definitely the way they show both sides of the stories, and we understand where they are both coming from. It's also because within these sides they show both good and evil within them (meaning they show both good and evil apes, and also good and evil humans). There are a lot of funny moments, but it also does get very boring. The ending is also CRAZY - but not in like a twisty way, just shocking in the violent nature. I wasn't expecting it. 

4. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes - This is where the franchise started to lose me. It should have just been a trilogy. I found this very boring - there's some interesting and disturbing scenes that show the inhumanity of torture and slavery, but I think we already kind of got that with the first one so this, once again, feels repetitive. It starts to pick up again with the rioting apes towards the end, and I like the line "the king is dead, long live the king". But overall, it's very meh. 

5. Battle for the Planet of the Apes - Oh man, enough is enough! I had no idea that there were FIVE whole movies before the 2001 reboot! Honestly, I was so over them, that I could barely pay attention to this and therefore have very little to say about it. It feels like I'm just watching the same movie over and over again! I would still rather watch this one than the next one on the list, though....

6. Planet of the Apes (2001) - By far the worst one. It's insanely bad. A one-star disaster. And still somehow not Mark Wahlberg's worst movie (that would be The Happening!). I saw this in the theater originally, but I blocked most of it from memory. I did wonder if it was connecting to the next series of movies (I couldn't remember if they connected it. They don't.). I think it's most disappointing because it's Tim Burton, who seems like the perfect person to do a remake of this story, but somehow he really fucked up. The makeup is terrific, and the apes are genuinely terrifying immediately, but the way they dress up the female apes with the hair and makeup is ridiculous. Also, remember Estella Warren???!!! I wonder what happened to her?! I'm too lazy to look into it, but I remember really liking her and thinking she was stunning. I was also surprised to hear Paul Giamatti voice one of the apes - his voice is so distinct, that I instantly recognized it (had to look up the others, though - Tim Roth!! Helena Bonham Carter! Michael Clarke Duncan!). I love Marky Mark, but he's in over his head with this. Plus, the plot is non-sensical. And the ending is even worse! Them tricking the audience with it being his ship is so disappointing and you could tell that the creators thought they were being super clever or something. The dialogue is bad, and Marky Mark does not do well with bad dialogue ("let's go explain evolution to the monkeys" LOL). It also feels about 3 hours long. 

7. Rise of the Planet of the Apes - So I don't think this movie is that great, but it led the way for the next two and for this franchise to truly get the reboot it deserved. Still has a problematic star who doesn't do well with bad dialogue (James Franco) and an actress that was supposed to be a big star (Frieda Pinto! Where has she been??), but overall I liked it (originally and with this rewatch). First of all, the motion-capture technology is incredible and Andy Serkis really made himself known with this role of Caesar. Second, it's a great place to start the story - from the human side showing how the "planet of the apes" came to be. I think the story is done well, with the focus on animal testing and trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's. But I also think that they kind of make a case for animal testing because it's the only way we're going to find cures for things. Would people prefer to use human testing during these initial drug trials??? I don't understand (and I LOVE animals!). The film definitely pulls at the heartstrings, but it does fail with the human part of the story. There is zero depth or nuance within the characters. And the middle drags a bit. There's some good references to the original, like "take your stinkin' paw off of me, you damn dirty ape!". I remember laughing at that line when I first watched it and then Caesar says "NO" and it was chilling. Such a great scene. 

8. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - This was my favorite one after the original one. I instantly loved it and rated it 4 stars (which is high for me! It means I loved it!). It's still my favorite one after these rewatches. But it also hits WAY different after experiencing a world-wide pandemic. Like all movies about an apocalyptic event - it originally felt like something that our current world would never experience, but that's simply not true anymore (my husband always likes to remind me that the San Andreas fault line could rupture any moment or Yellowstone volcano could erupt and both of those things would cause world-wide disaster). Like, this pandemic plotline could absolutely happen (maybe not the apes part, but who knows anymore?!), and that's genuinely terrifying. Anyway, this is finally a modern Planet of the Apes movie with a TERRIFIC cast - Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Gary Oldman, Jason Clarke, Kirk Acevedo, and Serkis returning in the motion-capture role of Caesar. There is a perfect balance of emotion - and occurring on both sides of the argument. It also has a really strong pace (there's no fat or boring stretch in the middle), and the effects continue to astound. 

9. War for the Planet of the Apes - Originally, I didn't love this one as much as everyone else did (I rated it 3 stars, which means "good"). I was interested in my reaction to it for this rewatch, and I'm a little surprised to say that I actually really loved it. I think if it had some stronger editing I might have even preferred it over Dawn. It instantly grabs me with the beginning description of the "new world" with the use of the words "Rise", "Dawn", and "War". It's far more poignant than I remember, and there are terrific emotional beats that feel earned. Woody Harrelson is a great bad guy too. Steve Zahn as Bad Monkey is the sneaky highlight of the film, and gives a little lightness to the story that is probably the heaviest of the bunch. Unfortunately, the middle does drag, and it's not very realistic that they keep Caesar alive. They would kill him the second they had the chance, but instead they keep him alive and do a whole "over-explaining" the plot by the villain scene. I really like the whole Nova plotline too - connecting it to the original. Plus, they end it with *spoiler alert* the death of Caesar, which is really impactful.

10. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes - I figured since I was doing this marathon I should just continue it with the newest one - but, quite honestly, this franchise needs to die. A modern trilogy with Rise, Dawn, & War would have been perfect. Hollywood can never let things go and end on a high note, but no, instead they make a movie that is set 300 years in the future (closer to the original film's timeline - I think?). I also wasn't keen on a new director (Reeves did such a wonderful job with Dawn and War, but I was willing to give Wes Ball a chance (I liked the Maze Runner movies!). I like some of it - the way Caesar has become a myth (basically a Moses figure - which was hinted to in the previous film), and used not only for representing peace, but also as a way to argue for war - it definitely feels timely and relevant. But overall, it's a slog to sit through. It's so boring! I kept pausing it and being like "oh god, there's still 50 minutes left!". Also, no Andy Serkis feels wrong (and on an aside - while it's SUPER COOL that they released a pre-effects film showing all the actors work, but they should have done that with one of Serkis' films? He's the one that MADE these movies what they are!). Also, I can't stand Owen Teague (I finally learned his name, because he keeps popping up in things, and I keep complaining about it so I figured I should, at least, know his name. I'm happy that he's one of the apes, so I didn't actually have to see him). I do like the girl from The Witcher, though. The most disappointing part, though, is that the ending implies that they are going to make even more of these movies???! Dichen Lachman appears at the end in a weird cameo, but also a lead up to the sequel that nobody wants (yes, my thoughts represent everyone...duh!). 

My Ranking:

Planet of the Apes (1968)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes 

War for the Planet of the Apes 

Rise of the Planet of the Apes 

Escape from the Planet of the Apes

Beneath the Planet of the Apes 

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes 

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Battle for the Planet of the Apes 

Planet of the Apes (2001)