Movie Marathon: Final Destination

1. Final Destination - I haven't watched this movie in AGES!! Maybe even since its release? I remember it being a fun movie, but I never imagined the cultural impact it would have on my generation. I think the #1 thing people my age are afraid of is driving behind a log truck - 100 percent (which is actually from the second movie! For some reason I thought it was part of the first.). I think it gained a bit of a cult-like following too, with people theorizing the order of the deaths and creating lists of the best to worst kills, etc. After this rewatch, I definitely think it's a very smart horror film - all the little omens in the beginning, the inventiveness of all the kills, the fact that the murderer is literally death - it was different than all the other horror films of the time. Plus, it had an A+ 90s cast. Devon Sawa! Kerr Smith! Ali Larter! It's weird because I can't remember why, but her name came up in a conversation with my husband and he didn't know who she was so I said "the whip cream bikini girl" and he still didn't know who I was talking about. How is that possible? It was such a thing in the late 90s. Anyway, I loved seeing all their faces again, and all the late 90s fashion (the blonde girl with the butterfly clips is actually very triggering. Haha!). You know what another weird thing is?? I kind of thought Sawa was in multiple of these movies, but the cast member in the most Final Destination movies is actually Tony Todd. And Sawa is only in the first one (and kind of the most recent one, but more of that later). Anyway, I had this rated as 3 stars, but upped it by a half-star because it's definitely better than good. And it has a fantastic ending too! 

2. Final Destination 2 - OK so this is the one with the log truck - and an incredible opening sequence of a freeway pileup. Unfortunately it seems like they spent their entire budget and creativity in this opening because the rest of the movie is very blah. And kind of stupid. It feels more made-for-television, and the cast is pretty much a bunch of no-names - except Larter and Todd who reprise their roles. Oh and Mickey from the US version of Shameless is in it for a quick minute, but a very memorable one. The rest of the cast are awful. Also, on a sidenote, the guy who wins the lottery looks a lot like Sebastian Stan but with blonde hair?! Anyway, aside from the first sequence, none of the other kills are very memorable. And they spend too much time setting up the kills to keep the audience guessing, but I feel like it's just grating. And a lot of stuff happens that doesn't make sense. Like, who took the picture of the kid from the first one (the one that looks like suicide)?? And then they released the picture of a dead kid hanging himself...to the press? WHAT? In what world??? Then, all the way towards the end of the movie, they all realize that they are connected to the people on flight 180 - even though they've spent the whole beginning of the movie talking about what happened to these people. Why did it take them so long to connect the dots? They are all so dumb and the movie is dumb. 

3. Final Destination 3 - After my disappointment with the second one, I tempered my excitement for this one. But this one is GOOD! It helps that it stars an actual good actress - Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I LOVE her and I did not remember her being in this movie AT ALL. I didn't think I remembered this one, but I realized that this one had way more of an impact than the second one because there are several memorable kills. The tanning bed one is another one that became a genuine fear among women my age. The way those two girls die is so gory, spectacular, and also HILARIOUS. Plus, the opening sequence with the rollercoaster is incredible (and honestly seems more realistic than the previous opening sequences. I know everyone is terrified of plane crashes, but they are super rare (yes, even though we hear a lot more about them, they are still rare), and a car crash sequence like that would really involve a whole lot of things going wrong with multiple people. But a rollercoaster flying off the tracks like could come down to one tiny screw loose and an incompetent teenager at the helm!). Another weird thing about this is that it's almost like it's part of the Glee universe - it takes place at a McKinley High, has the late Cory Monteith in a tiny role, along with the gym teacher from Glee. It's spookier if you also consider that THREE of the main original cast members of that show are now dead. Anyway, I was surprised at how much I liked this one - it's probably the best one in terms of acting, it has gloriously gory kills, and has another strong ending. 

4. The Final Destination - I was not expecting this one to be worse than 2, but this one is flat-out terrible. 1-star territory. I had high hopes when I realized it starred Shantel VanSanten because I like her in a lot of things (For All Mankind, Shooter, The Boys), but this came out during her One Tree Hill days, and she used to be an awful actress. There's also Krista Allen, who I haven't seen in a while (remember back in the day when she used to date George Clooney?!), and Bubba from Forest Gump (god, he must hate that he'll always be Bubba Gump and people probably talk to him about all the varieties of shrimp! It's like when I met the guy who plays Fun Bobby from Friends and he told me that people just yell "it's Fun Bobby!" at him, everywhere he goes). But unfortunately, there's nothing good about it. The whole race car disaster in the beginning is dull - and definitely the weakest of all the FD opening sequences, although quite possibly the goriest (?). I also realized quickly that this was released in 3D because the way the kills are all filmed with stuff coming towards the screen, etc. That might have looked cool in a theater in 3D, but on my tv at home it just looks stupid. But the real reason that this is so bad is because it feels very rushed. It's just one kill scene after the next, with no story at all. And it's all really stupid (they just walk onto an active crime scene where 52 people died and they haven't even cleaned up the blood??? OKAY, sure). They don't even grieve the people who died - they literally toast each other with champaign because they survived, even though people were graphically killed in front of them. There's also, oddly, a lot of racists in this one? Why? Because it centers around car racing? That's a little bit of a cliched stereotype that feels unnecessary. 

5. Final Destination 5 - So, this one isn't exactly good, HOWEVER, the ending is so FUCKING good and shocked me to my core. I somehow wasn't spoiled, and I didn't watch it until years after its release. But, *surprise and spoiler alert!!* this one is a very stealthy PREQUEL! And it ENDS on that tragic flight 180 from the first one. It's fucking brilliant, and on first watch, I literally stared at the screen for a solid 5 minutes after it was over like, "wait...did that just fucking happen???". I was looking forward to watching it to see just how they successfully accomplished this - it obviously has to take place pre-2000, but we don't know that until the end. And a lot has changed in those 11 years - phones, cars etc. I'm surprised that they don't really hide it. The opening scene features an old flip phone and a car that definitely looks like it's from the 90s, but it's subtle enough for an audience to overlook these signs. There's also someone listening to Everclear, and a reference to Lisa Loeb! It's all there, but somehow it just doesn't register. But something else, is a dead giveaway - they don't reference the previous deaths like all the other sequels do (because they didn't happen yet!!!). There's also some great death scenes. The laser eye one is an instant classic. But the gymnastic scene is iconic - the build up of suspense is so insane and then you'll never guess how she actually dies (it's hilarious). I think the cast is a little bit of a letdown - there's a low budget Anna Faris and a low budget Dave Franco, and then Courtney B, Vance for some reason. But overall, this one is back to being fun - and I love the end credits showing all the subsequent deaths that happen. I'm really looking forward to the next one - I'm avoiding the trailer but I caught the teaser with the glass breaking into the ice and then being scooped up into a drink. It's brilliant. I had no idea what I was watching and at first I was like "what the fuck is this?" and then when the Final Destination: Bloodlines title appeared I was like "FUCK YES THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!" Haha!! 

Ranking: 

Final Destination

Final Destination 3 

Final Destination 5

Final Destination 2 

The Final Destination 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Nickel Boys - This is a very good movie that is filmed in a really cool and inventive way. I appreciate the camera technique very much - it gives it an edge, makes it interesting, and allows the audience to immerse themselves into the story. Some of the shots are glorious (like the reflection of him watching the MLK speech in the window. Superb!). The two main actors, Ethan Herisse and Brandon Wilson are terrific (although maybe too old for the roles. They both look 30). And it is definitely an injustice that Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor wasn't a frontrunner for the supporting actress category at the Oscars this year (if they nominated actual supporting roles instead of co-lead roles, her and Deadwyler would have been in, for sure). I also really love the guy from Shrinking (he's in a show with huge names like Harrison Ford, but he stands out to me). It's also just a really well-written story about the darkest parts of American racism. Although I found the confusing - but maybe I wasn't paying attention enough? I couldn't understand who Daveed was supposed to be because he obviously has a lighter skin tone, but he's supposed to be Elwood? He took his name? HUH? I had to look it up because I was confused. I think it could have been written in a different way to introduce that reveal more clearly. There are also a few things that didn't work for me (which is why it won't make it into my favorites of the year when I re-evaluate in July). The close-up shots are too close - it breaks the perspective angle. There is a disconnect between the voices and the perspective being shown - it just doesn't sound right? I'm not sure why, but it's a little jarring. I also don't get why the time-jump scenes are filmed from behind? Whose perspective is that supposed to be? It's just a little inconsistent and loses focus, but it's definitely interesting. 

2. Omni Loop - This is bad. Really, bad. I watched this over a month ago (I'm behind again! Shocker!), and I've pretty much wiped it from my memory. I love both Mary-Louise Parker and Ayo Edebiri. Parker has been a favorite of mine since I was kid because of Fried Green Tomatoes. And then she's also in one of my favorite series ever, Weeds. She's just so cool. Her and Edebiri make a solid team, and I like the idea behind this movie. But the reality is that it's about 20 minutes of movie repeated several times and I hate it. The whole "repeating each day" thing has been done a billion times and it's never a concept I enjoy because it's REPETITIVE. The score of this is also really annoying. And the movie doesn't make a bit of sense. I know it's not really supposed to because it's sci-fi, but everything else about it feels so grounded in reality so the sci-fi parts are just...dumb. I thought it would land on my worst of the year list, but it's considered 2024, and I don't re-evaluate my worst movies when I redo my best of list in July. That's kind of good, because then I never have to think about this movie ever again!

3. Strange Darling - I LOVED this!! Out of all the GREAT horror movies that were released in 2024, this one is definitely my favorite. It has a fantastic and intriguing opening shot - I wanted to know more immediately, and then tells this story, consisting of six parts, out of order revealing a super duper twist. It's SO GOOD. I feel like some might write it off as a bit gimmicky, but it really worked for me. And this is a star-making performance from Willa Fitzgerald (I've liked her since Royal Pains! She's also really good in Reacher, which I've just started and am suddenly on season 3). I'm not going to give away the twist - although I think most will figure it out by Part 1 (which is told third), but it's fabulous to watch it all unfold. But, I will talk about how gorgeous it is - some of the shots are so good, and the blood red color that soaks every scene is stunning and provides a really visceral experience. I love that Willa continued to wear this bright red color to all the premieres and promotional interviews. I was SHOCKED that the cinematographer is Giovanni Ribisi. Yes...that Giovanni Ribisi! I only realized it because I saw him listed in the cast, and then thought it was weird that he would take a small voice-over role, but then saw his name listed as the cinematographer! He definitely needs to continue in this field because every shot, every camera angle, and every scene is so well thought-out. It's definitely a horror movie that I will remember several scenes clearly for a long time, and that's not something I say often. I also want to watch it again soon, just to make sure that it all works (I'm fairly certain that it does - they overlap the story enough to connect all of the dots). 

4. September 5 - I hadn't really heard of this, but then it was randomly nominated for Best Original Screenplay at the Oscars this year, so I moved it up the list fairly quickly - and then it appeared on Paramount so I was able to watch it even sooner than I expected. I knew ZERO about it going in. Didn't even know who was in it - so I was pleasantly surprised by John Magaro, Peter Sarsgaard, and a woman who I thought *for sure* was Andrea Riseborough for a solid 30 minutes of the film. And then even weirder, as the credits rolled I yelled "ohhhh THAT was Ben Chaplin????" I haven't seen him in a while, I guess, because he looks about 20 years older than I remember. I also didn't know what it was about, but easily guessed as soon as I saw that it took place during the Munich Olympic games. I like learning about historical events through film because it often has me researching the true story, and diving deeper into the subject matter. I think it's interesting timing for this film - given the surge of the Israel/Palestine conflict, but this is just another reminder that this is not a modern day issue - this conflict has been happening for generations. The story doesn't focus much on the terrorist act, instead it focuses on the journalists and news team that were on duty while it happened, and how they were able to gain access and become one of the biggest live events ever watched at the time. It's important to tell stories about journalism and the press right now because it's taken such a hit over the last decade - you can blame Trump if you want, but I think it has more to do with social media and such instant access to information - everyone is so rushed to get the story that it doesn't matter if it's true or not. And also everyone giving their opinion, having their own website/blog etc., everyone considers themselves an "expert" on a subject even though they have no clue what they are even talking about. If someone has enough followers, they are suddenly considered an authority on everything they decide to discuss. It's an epidemic. This film kind of discusses the beginnings of this rush to get the story first - these journalists reported on the event, made broadcast history (over 900 million people watched!), but they got it wrong. It asks the question whether it's better to be first to the story or to get the story right, and that's what all journalists (and bloggers) should be asking themselves before publishing a story. 

5. Venom: The Last Dance - Well, it's not as bad as the second one, so that's something! The only thing I really remember from the second one is rave Venom because it was so fucking funny. It helps that the cast for this is STACKED. Juno Temple, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Rhys Ifans, Stephen Graham, and Clark Backo. I would love to say that they are all great, but every single one of them over-acts their way through this. It's very cheesy - the doctor that is researching aliens, played by Temple, is WEARING a Roswell t-shirt and alien shaped earrings???? COME ON. But, I did laugh a few times, and I love how hard Tom Hardy goes in these movies. He's hilarious and seems like he's having a blast. I don't know much about the comics, but I guess this ending is teasing a possible Sinister Six movie? And the guy in the shadows is the same guy that played Michelle Williams' new beau in the first movie? Doesn't it sound like him? Are we not supposed to know it's him? Why is he in a shadow the whole time? I'm confused. Anyway, overall, I thought this was *fine*. It's not as fun as the first, and not as dumb as the second. There are some really entertaining scenes even if they are ridiculous. I think it's hilarious that they treat this story like a rom-com (the tagline is even "til death do they part" - haha!). It feels very different than the what other comic book movies are doing. But it also feels really long for a 90 minute film. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. No Good Deed - I binged this show very quickly, especially for someone who doesn't binge shows very often, but that was maybe a month ago and I hardly remember it (which is why I don't like to binge stuff). I did like it, and I thought Lisa Kudrow gave a fantastic and heartfelt performance in a deeply cheesy melodrama/mystery. I definitely watched for the cast - Kudrow, Linda Cardellini, Luke Wilson, Teyonah Parris, SHANE FROM The L-Word???!!! (I don't think I've ever seen her in anything else?), Poppy Liu, Denis Leary, the guy from The Handmaid's Tale, the late great LINDA LAVIN(!!!), and an interesting newcomer, Chloe East. Just an overall insane cast. And everyone has their moments - it's a bit like The White Lotus, with this mystery unfolding and all the characters and storylines converging. I do think it's obvious that *spoiler* the son was stealing from the neighbors and things went awry. But it's still interesting watching it all unfold. And I liked that the episodes are only 30-40 minutes long (which made it easier to binge). Lavin has some hilarious lines, too - "he's a little racist" about her dog made me laugh hard. There's some good needle drops too - they definitely spared no expense on the music. But, like I said, it's kind of forgettable. It's good for a Sunday afternoon lazy binge watch, but there's nothing that's going to stick with me. 

2. Star Wars: Skeleton Crew - This is a cute show, but I fully admit that I'm only here for Jude Law. I LOVE JUDE LAW. I thought that maybe he wasn't going to be in it very much and that they were just using his name to advertise, but he's in a lot of it - and it's one of the main plot points to figure out if he's good or bad, if he lied about being a jedi, etc. He's also very funny in this ("you know what, just shoot me" lol). I also like Kerry Condon (not sure why they didn't just let her keep her accent though? The hints of her Irish accent in every piece of dialogue is hard to ignore). You don't really have to know much about the Star Wars universe either, although it will obviously help. But it feels more of a Stand by Me, Super 8, Goonies vibe that I definitely dig. I can't help but wish that the child actors were better actors though. I was hoping that the little girl from the Firestarter remake just had the bad luck of being in a bad movie, but she's really terrible in this too. I also think that it gets a little boring and repetitive about 1/2 way through - I almost gave up on it, but decided to watch it as background noise while I cleaned my house. I think my husband would have liked this way more than I did, but he refused to watch it. He's done with the whole "universe" of certain franchises (Star Wars, Marvel, etc.). It's too much, and I get it. 

3. Laid - I like this show, but I hate the actress from Girls so much that she almost made me hate this show. But first, the good stuff! I'm here for Stephanie Hsu!! I love her so much - she's so adorable and funny, and the perfect lead for a show like this. The character is not exactly likeable, but we still do like her because we like Stephanie. I love the opening credits song - a cover of the song "Laid", which is one of my favorite songs ever (I was a teenager in the 90s! It can't be helped.). The concept reminds me of that movie What's Your Number?, but A LOT darker, with her having to track down all the people she slept with to tell them that they are going to die. It's very funny with a lot of fast-moving, quippy dialogue (my favorite was the jab about Ruth's Chris because that is such a weird name for a restaurant. It's never made sense to me...does Ruth own Chris? And the fight about Malignant had my DYING). But....about the bad stuff: I think it's a little too pop-cultural focused  - it's going to feel very dated, very quickly. And they do make the main character a little too morally reprehensible - *spoilers ahead* sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend??? That's unforgivable. As for the actress from Girls, I didn't hate her going into this show. I hated the show Girls immensely (I only made it through the first season), but some of the other actors have won me over - I actually love both Allison Williams and Jemima Kirke, and I sometimes like Adam Driver. So I was hopeful that Zosia would win me over, too. But she's horrendous in this - she gets a lot of the funny dialogue, which is a shame because she couldn't get the line delivery right for ANY of them! It's always a beat or two off and it drove me insane. She just becomes this super annoying, super grating character. If it weren't for Stephanie, I probably would have stopped watching this because of Zosia. But if you can get past her, then this is a super cute, and darkly funny show. 

4. Apple Cider Vinegar - I hesitated watching this show about the falsehoods of health gurus and natural remedies because the title Apple Cider Vinegar implies that ACV doesn't have health benefits and if that's what this show is going to try to tell me then I'm going to be mad. I use ACV regularly for my scalp and health of my hair and I have GREAT hair. It's like my best attribute. And, let me tell you, I've gone full natural remedies on a ton of shit. I use peppermint oil to reduce my headaches (it works!), frankincense oil for arthritis in my collarbone (it works!), magnesium powder for my leg pain (it works!), and I'm now getting really into turmeric - I've been drinking turmeric & carrot juice and using turmeric body lotion, and I feel GREAT. ANYWAY, I'm happy that the show isn't actually about apple cider vinegar at all (I don't even think it's mentioned??), and is instead about these two influencer women who promote wellness gimmicks as a cure for cancer, which is far more serious than I was expecting. One is a compulsive liar who knowingly deceived her followers and FAKED having CANCER (and it's based on a TRUE STORY that I wasn't aware of because I don't follow influencer garbage), while the other is a fictional character who actually does have cancer, does a "hippy-dippy" treatment that she believes cures her, and writes a book about it. The series switches back and forth between these two - their lives intersecting at different points, even unknowingly spurring the other to go "further in their journey". It's all very interesting, but not because of these actual characters, but because of the millions of people who buy into this shit. "Wellness" has become a billion dollar industry, but to pray on cancer patients is the line that shouldn't be crossed. The unfortunate thing is that this a biproduct of the medical profession becoming more focused on pharmaceuticals than patient care. Like, I don't blame someone at all for looking at other options to help their health. The sad thing is that both "wellness" and "medicine" can live together harmoniously if doctors actually cared about patient health. There are a lot of benefits to natural remedies, but it's so hard to get a doctor to admit that, while they just push whatever prescription drug will put money in their pocket. And it's not even just an American epidemic (this story actually takes place in Australia). I also think that it's up to an individual to do their own research - and not just listen to whoever is popular on Instagram that week. Anyway, those are my thoughts on the ideas behind the show, but as far as the actual show goes - I think it's done really well. I love Kaitlyn Dever SO MUCH, and let me tell you - that Australian accent is fucking perfect. I *knew* that she wasn't Australian, but it's so convincing that I actually double-checked to be sure! And I also really like the girl from Fear the Walking Dead (sorry, I'm being too lazy to look up her name), but she's fantastic in this. I think it does a really good job at taking down the industry, while also telling the story from multiple angles. It kind of reminds me of that movie that came out a few years ago called Not Okay about the girl who faked being a survivor of a terrorist attack. This very real sickness of needing to be Instagram famous and living a fake life "online" so that people follow you, like you, want to be you, etc., even though none of it is real is going to keep getting worse - you just have to disconnect from it and find peace for yourself and be happy in your own life.  

5. Paradise - *spoilers* Okay, so I *knew* from the very first shot of the the suburban area that he was living in some sort of simulation or something (it's all very Truman Show-esque), but it's still interesting watching it all unfold. I heard that there was a "crazy twist" in the first episode, but I don't know - I think if you were paying attention, you would have guessed what was happening before it's revealed that they are in an underground bunker type place after an apocalyptic event (more like Greenland). I think there's a much bigger twist in episode 3 (or maybe it was 4?), in which the true nature of one of the characters is revealed ("You better make sure it's the biggest motherfucker you've got". LOL, what a GREAT reveal). I love Sterling K. Brown so fucking much - he just oozes charisma, plus he's so fucking funny and genuine. I'm also a big fan of James Marsden (especially after Jury Duty) and Julianne Nicholson. And the woman from For All Mankind!! I love her! Then Enuka Okuma shows up?!!! I haven't seen her since Rookie Blue! Overall, it's just a great cast (the weak links are probably the kids - especially the kid playing the president's son). There is also an incredible soundtrack - each episode focuses on a song (mostly from the 80s, I think?), and the song is played in the beginning and notes of it throughout and then there is a slowed-down dramatic version of the song at the end (usually when a twist is being revealed). "We Built This City" is probably the best one - because it goes so perfectly with the theme of the show, and I really loved the cover of it that is featured. I also just like that it's got a strong original premise, mixes in a really interesting mystery of "who killed the president?" mixed with "how did they all get here?", but it's all still very character focused. The penultimate episode that reveals the natural disaster and how the world reacts is terrific. They built the suspense for it so well. Overall, I really fun, twisty show - it feels like those old-school "water cooler" shows. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Gorge - Sorry, but I hated this. I hope it's the worst movie I see all year. I should have expected it because a lot of Apple + movies are terrible, or even just plain mediocre (yes, even the Oscar winning one). But I was intrigued by the Miles Teller/Anya Taylor-Joy combination, and sometimes Scott Derrickson has some wins (The Black Phone is great!). I was already annoyed that they kill off Sope Dirisu so quickly (sorry for the spoiler, but it really doesn't matter, I promise). But I was charmed by the beginnings of this romance - they are super cute, learning about each other from a distance. But then Anya speaks and I felt like someone was stabbing me in the brain. That accent is ROUGH. And why is she wearing shorts in the snow??? Girl, put some clothes on! Are you stupid? And more importantly, is this movie stupid or what? It's just so fucking dumb. And really, really ugly. The skeleton shaped trees? Is that supposed to be scary or something? I was so bored that I stopped paying attention and I genuinely could not tell you how they get out of the gorge (I stopped paying attention once they are both down there). My husband (who refused to watch this with me) asked me the next day how it ended and I said "oh they find each other at a restaurant on some island or some shit and live happily ever after" and he said "no, I mean what happens to the gorge?" "oh, I have no fucking clue". 

2. Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy - This was way better than I was expecting, and far better than the previous one. I do remember being really upset that they tell Bridget that she's having a "geriatric pregnancy" because I did not know that's what they call it when a woman over 35 is pregnant, I thought it was just a cruel joke. Maybe they should call it something else, though? Because that sounds so mean. Anyway, I did not expect Hugh Grant to show up in this one because I thought HE DIED in the last one??? I had to google it and apparently it's revealed that he survived the plane crash? But I don't remember that. I think it's sad that they kill off Mark Darcy, but it does allow Bridget's story to continue in an interesting way. And I like that it's not set immediately after his death - I think four years of grieving is enough time, and Mark would want her to move on. The little fling that she has with Leo Woodall's character is done really well because a 27 year gap is a big deal, for a relationship, but not for a fling. I think it would be unfair of her to try to continue this relationship knowing full well that this kid (yes, 27 is still a kid) doesn't know who he his or what he wants out of life yet. But she had a fun fling, and there's nothing wrong with that. I didn't realize that the girl from The Last of Us is Thandiwe Newton's daughter???!! But she's gorgeous, and she has great screen presence (like her mom). And Chiwetel Ejiofor is always a welcome presence. I love that her three friends from the original make an appearance too. Overall, I think they did a really good job with the story - it's funny, sweet, and the end with the son singing almost made me cry (ALMOST!). I look forward to the next Bridget Jones when she's in her 70s becoming a grandmother, maybe, or watching her children enter the dating game, perhaps?

3. Back in Action - Really dumb, generic, and pointless action movie. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but in this case it is. I love Cameron Diaz and I'm so happy that she's back!!! I hope she sticks around - she's one of those actresses that just shines on screen, and always seems to be having fun. I find that energy really infectious, and I welcome it. I'm also happy that Jamie Foxx is still alive!!! I was so worried about him. They have great chemistry together - and make a very believable couple, but that's not enough to make the film interesting. And the beginning is terrible - and I was really confused because Diaz announces that she's pregnant and I screamed "she's 52!", only to remember that it's supposed to be 15 years earlier, which also explains why they both look so weird in the beginning. Is it de-aging tech or just bad makeup? I'm not sure, but it's awful. Plus, there is NO WAY they would survive that plane crash. But, whatever. Then we cut to this spy couple living a normal life in the suburbs (somehow?? Even though they both "died" - how did they buy a house? get a driver's license? etc.?), and we get scenes with these Gen Xers dancing to a hip-hop song in the car while their children die of embarrassment in the backseat because we haven't seen that a million times. There's a great supporting cast - Andrew Scott (why would he do this? Was it quid pro quo for getting the Ripley gig?), Kyle Chandler - who usually picks far better films to appear in (he's in so many Oscar nominated movies! Look it up!), and Glenn Close!! Which is actually really great casting for Diaz's mom. But, it's all just so stupid and unoriginal. On a sidenote, I looked up what the last acting role Diaz had done because I knew it's been a while, but was surprised that it was 2011's Annie remake (also starring Jamie Foxx). I realized I hadn't seen it, so I popped it on this morning, and wow - Diaz is spectacularly bad as Miss Hannigan. Is this why she quit? Did the reviews eviscerate her??? And they have her SING?? I don't blame her though, it's just bad casting (I actually think Rose Byrne & her should have switched roles). 

4. Flow - I really liked this, but it's not better than The Wild Robot. Far from it, actually - and I can't believe it won the Oscar over it. I will say, that my cats LOVED it. Lily, especially. She watched almost the whole thing and kept sitting in front of the screen - blocking a lot of my view. I think it was all of the nature noises, in particular, that really peaked her interest. I'm glad that I already knew beforehand that it has no dialogue, so I prepared myself. The animation is great, but some of it looks a little flat to me. It definitely has the look of a videogame, which isn't a bad thing - there's still a lot of talent involved, but it's not as gorgeous as The Wild Robot. And I found the story to be so heavy-handed. Like, of course, an audience is going to get emotional watching this cat just try to survive - it all feels manipulative though. While The Wild Robot has the same story AND SO MUCH MORE. More depth, more character development, more backstory...just MORE. There are a few emotional beats that got me, like the bird getting abandoned by the other birds after protecting the cat. Animals in peril will always bring a lump in my throat - so I basically just wanted to cry through the whole thing. And it doesn't let up; there are no moments that uplift or inspire - it's just totally depressing. But cute, I guess. 

5. Nosferatu (2024) - Nope, not a fan. This isn't surprising considering that I haven't liked any of Robert Eggers' films. They are well made movies, but way overpraised - especially by film bros. My ranking would be: The Northman > Nosferatu > The VVitch >>>>>>>>>>The Lighthouse. But I rate The Northman three stars and it gets worse from there. I love the original Nosferatu, but I haven't seen it since I was in college (and I probably watched it a dozen times for different film classes. I feel like it was part of every film class curriculum). I'm also not the biggest fan of Lily-Rose Depp. I've seen her in multiple things from The Idol to Voyagers and she has a dead behind the eyes look - just no emotion in her eyes at all. I think she gives a FANTASTIC physical performance here - she contorts herself to extremes, but it's the dialogue she has a problem with. And she still has the dead eyes, but it kind of works here to be fair. I also hate Emma Corrin - just a terrible actor, and they seem really out of place in this. And Aaron Taylor-Johnson?? Are they trying to kill me? Anyway, I DO like Nicholas Hoult, Willem Dafoe, and Bill Skarsgard though. But the movie is just. so. boring. It's very hard to pay attention to. The colors are very muted for effect, but it doesn't work for me. I don't really have anything else to say - the costumes and makeup are great, but that's all I got. 

3 Thoughts on The Oscars

1. The Show - I loved it! I loved last year's Oscars too, so this is a nice run! I hate Jimmy Kimmel (although I think he did a great job last year), so I was SO relieved that they let someone else do it this year - and I think Conan did a fantastic job. He told good jokes - nothing too political (aside from one joke), nothing too mean, but still solid jokes. My favorite joke actually happened right in the beginning with his "four-time Oscar viewer" introduction. However, there were some weird choices made for the rest of the show. While Ariana & Cynthia sounded fantastic - why the Wizard of Oz montage? I don't get it. Just so they could get a Wicked moment on stage? (one a side note, my cat Mazie is weirdly TERRIFIED of Cynthia - I think it might be the nails, but as Cynthia was singing she got all spooked and her fur poofed out and and then she ran away when she really started belting those notes. It was actually hilarious and I wish I recorded it). And then why was there basically an In Memoriam for James Bond featuring Margaret Qualley...for some reason??? It was so weird and I'm not cool enough to know who those singers are. I've at least heard of Doja Cat, but I've never heard her sing before and I hope I never have to hear her again because that sounded terrible. And then a tribute to Quincy Jones??? I loved him! But that would make more sense for the Grammys. And another song from The Wiz?? WHAT? WHY? I think they should have done a longer tribute to David Lynch if anything. I don't know why they just didn't have the nominees for Original Song perform?? Plus, I don't know why they keep trying to reinvent how the nominees are announced. Just have two presenters come out, do a bit, then show clips of the nominees. Done and done. This whole let's have the presenter talk about each nominee is so stupid. And even stupider is the 5 presenters for each nominee bit. This made the show even longer than it needed to be. But I did like Nick Offerman as the announcer (his mispronunciation of Amy Poehler made me laugh), and I enjoyed some of the surprise presenters (Daryll Hannah?! She looked fantastic! Mick Jagger?! I loved his quip from Bob Dylan to "find somebody younger"). Overall, I thought it was a fun show. 

2. The Winners - I know Anora became the front-runner after the DGA, PGA & WGA wins, but I was NOT expecting Sean Baker to walk away with four awards, nor was I expecting Mikey Madison to upset the Demi Moore sweep. While The Substance is my favorite movie of 2024, I really loved Anora too, so I have no complaints. Plus, it's an independent film & Sean Baker has made two other EXCELLENT films. I didn't realize that he edited this movie, too (and I loved his "I saved this film in the editing" line). Mikey is incredible in Anora, and she's proven her talent previously with Better Things. She's young, sure. And she's relatively new to the film world, but I appreciate that the Oscars, for once, seemed like they voted for the work in front of them instead of giving an award for a career (like with Jamie Lee Curtis a few years ago, and others). I knew I was going to hate whoever won for Best Actor because I hate three of those actors - Ralph sort of had a chance, and Colman was unfortunately a long-shot, but those other three....UGH. I knew it was going to Brody or Chalamet (Chamalet? I will never know which one is correct), and I have not seen either of their movies so I can't really comment, but I could tell you already that Brody was going to give the most grating speech of the night. I do think he's actually a terrific actor, but he's so fucking full of himself and he flat-out gives me the creeps (and I think those creepy feelings are warranted - if you're interested look up his obsession with his ex, Elsa Pataki. It's gross and CREEPY. Plus, dating Georgina Chapman doesn't help - that woman was married to a FUCKING MONSTER for like 15 years and she didn't know that he was abusing and harassing women in the industry? I don't believe that at all. She's totally complicit, I think). ANYWAY, I'm on a rant. Sorry! I'm annoyed with the Supporting winners because those are Lead performances, but WHATEVER. But I did love that they SPREAD THE LOVE! I think all of the Best Picture nominees won at least one award except A Complete Unknown and, unfortunately, Nickel Boys, right? That's pretty cool. It's so boring when one film sweeps everything. I do not think Flow is better than The Wild Robot, but it's cute and about a cat so I won't complain. 

3. The Fashion - I never in a million years thought that my favorite Oscar look would be Ariana Grande. It's the perfect dress for the movie she's nominated for, plus it's glamourous but interesting and modern. And I never in a million years thought that my second favorite Oscar look would be Selena Gomez. She usually dresses too old for her young age, but this was so stunning. The dress fit her so perfectly and it was old school Hollywood glamour. A few others that I liked - Meg Ryan looked great in that red velvet dress, Colman Domingo is always on point, and Isabella Rossellini gets a mention too for wearing blue velvet to honor David Lynch! Perfection! Everyone else kind of sucked. Either too boring - like Elle Fanning (she looked fine! I just wanted her in something younger and cooler), or really ill-fitting. Actually that was probably my biggest problem with a lot of dresses. Rachel Zegler's dress was way too tight on the top. Mikey's dress doesn't flatter her at all (although I love the nod to Audrey Hepburn). I love Timmy's yellow suit, but again, the fit was terrible. As far as worst dressed - Zoe's dress looked like a lampshade. But nobody really wore anything too terrible, which is a good thing, but also I like when people take chances with fashion! Break the rules! Wear short shorts like Kristen Stewart! 

Film Retrospective Part I: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-1990)

1. Overboard - [rewatch] I'm so happy that my retrospective has made it into the 1980s because I can't wait to watch some of these classic 80s movies that I loved so much as a kid. This was my immediate first watch - it's one of my favorite movies ever and not because it's good, but because it's fun. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have the BEST chemistry. Yes, the plot is "icky", but it has a whole lot of heart so I can get past it. Also, it's kind of a loose remake of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. So obviously, he's in the wrong for basically kidnapping this woman and gaslighting her, but she did screw him out of $600, which is a lot of money for a single dad with 4 kids. The beginning is so over-the-top with her luxurious lifestyle, so it's such a strong contrast to how he lives - and his lifestyle feels real to me (as a kid who grew up partly in a trailer park, and partly in a rundown house in the middle of the desert). And once she wins the kids over and they start to bond, it just tugs at my heart strings so much - I literally get choked up EVERY TIME when the kid screams "you said moms don't leave!". The ending is so good too - especially when she reveals that it's all her money LOL. I just love it so much, and as a kid I thought Goldie Hawn was just the coolest (she's still pretty cool!). 

2. Black Christmas (1974) - [rewatch, apparently???] Ummmm....so I guess I watched this movie...recently?? I thought it was a blind spot, but then I went to log it in Letterboxd and I already had it logged as "watched" in March 2023??? That's so weird - I couldn't have watched it for my retrospective, because in 2023 I was watching films from before 1970. So I guess I watched it just to watch it, but I have absolutely no recollection of it. Maybe I logged it by accident thinking it was a different movie? Anyway, none of this seemed familiar. But, maybe because it's....super boring? Like, nothing really happens for most of it. Some scary phone calls? The calls are definitely creepy, I guess, but it gets old very quickly. I do appreciate the films that were obviously inspired by this (any modern day slasher, but especially Scream). Also, this is where "the calls are coming from inside the house" comes from, and that's pretty iconic! It's also got a great cast - Margot Kidder, Olivia Hussey (whose death was announced while I was watching this! How creepy!), Andrea Martin, John Saxon. 

3. Christine (1983) - [blind spot] This has been on my list for a while, so I'm glad I'm finally watching it. It's John Carpenter and it's about a killer car based on a Stephen King story! Excellent. I'm actually surprised that there hasn't been a remake of this (yet). I had a lot of fun with it - it's basically a haunted car story as opposed to a haunted house, but cars are scarier because they can go fast! The acting is a little over-the-top. And the guy that plays Buddy looks like a wannabe John Travolta (which is weird because Travolta's late wife Kelly Preston is in this - she was someone else I loved as a kid - she was so beautiful - and I love the name "Kelly Preston" - so classy!). The whole bully thing is also way overdone - they are flat-out psychotic and would definitely be arrested for destroying a car like that. Also, I grew up in the 80s and we did not use abbreviations like that??? TTFM??? I was shocked by that? Maybe it's regional? Abbreviations didn't start until the late 90s from what I remember. Anyway, great movie! Loved it!

4. After Hours - [blind spot] Absolutely LOVED it. I can't believe I've never seen this before - it's so good. It's up there among my favorite Scorsese films (I don't have them ranked or anything because that would be daunting - but I guarantee my list would look a lot different that everyone else's. First of all, my number one would be The Departed). And, Scorsese gets a lot of shit for not making films with women - but this has incredible women in it: Teri Garr, Catherine O'Hara, Linda Fiorentino, Rosanna Arquette!!! The movie reminds me of Go, which is a movie that I LOVE - the way all this happens during one night (obviously the creators of Go were inspired by this, but I didn't know that as a teenager watching Go). Griffen Dunne is so good in this too - the audience just feels his exhaustion and frustration. It's also very funny - "is there a place open this late?", matter-of-factly "sure...it's not even 2 yet". And the sign "Dead Person" with an arrow made me laugh out loud. It definitely spirals into a little too much chaos at the end, but overall, I enjoyed this so much. 

5. Out of Africa - [blind spot] I could already tell that I was going to need to watch this in two parts, because it's an epic historical drama with a runtime of 2 hours and 40 minutes. I think breaking it up helped my enjoyment slightly, but overall, I found this very dull and boring. I do think if I had watched it in the 80s, as an adult, I might have liked it, but now it's so outdated and the white savior ending is cringe. Also, Meryl's accent???? How did she get nominated for an Oscar with that accent??? WOW. Also, I knew this was a big Oscar contender, but I didn't realize it WON the Oscar for Best Picture! EW. 

6. Gloria - [blind spot] Geena Rowlands was such a screen legend! I watched A Woman Under the Influence last year and I can't stop thinking about it. A performance of a lifetime, really. This performance is also very good. I love this character too - she's such a badass with that gun and up against these really scary men. But unfortunately, I didn't love this movie - and it's mostly because the kid is very annoying. His dialogue is so weird too - he definitely does not talk like a child instead he sounds like an 80 year old man. It's just awkward and not cute at all, and I kind of wished he died and Gloria could move on with her life (and I don't think that's the intent...haha!). Also, the saxophone in the film score needed to die too. It's just so overwhelming. 

7. The Fearless Vampire Killers - [blind spot] I definitely hesitate to watch a Roman Polanski movie, especially after reading more into the Manson murders and Sharon Tate's death (something doesn't add up and I think Polanski is far from innocent). But this has been on my list for a while and it was showing on TMC, so I guess it was time to cross it off. I don't really have anything good to say about this, though. It's very boring and way too long. I think it's supposed to be funny, but none of the jokes land. It's also very confusing and WHERE ARE THE VAMPIRES!!?? Also, I didn't realize that Polanski is IN this too - ewwww. But Sharon Tate was so beautiful. And there are a few cool shots, especially for a film from the 60s. I'll give it that. 

8. On Golden Pond - [blind spot] This is going to sound very dumb, but I didn't realize until watching this that Jane Fonda is Henry Fonda's daughter. LOL. I don't know how I didn't connect that, especially because they look so much alike (it's the eyes!). You may laugh, and say "but they have the same last name! DUH!", but Katherine Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn were NOT related so THERE!!! I just never thought of Jane as a nepobaby - but once again, this proves that being a nepobaby is not necessarily a bad thing! I don't know why nepobabies get so upset about it. Anyway, Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda won the Oscar for lead performances for this movie, so I was excited to finally watch it. I also expected a boring drama, but was intrigued by the "comedy drama" description. It's a very sweet, but still very boring. I enjoyed Fonda and his old man grumpiness - his response to being asked if it's ok if the boyfriend sleeps in the same room as his daughter is hilarious. And I love the bond that forms with the young boy that stays with them for the summer. Hepburn is also great in this - it's one of her last big movies, but she still lived another 20 years! I love her so much. I think the whole daughter angle is weird though - she's got such mommy AND daddy issues, but they never really explain why? She's just angry for no apparent reason. Also, lots of shots of that pond, eh? 

9. Big Trouble in Little China - [rewatch] This is one of those 80s movies that has a fairly large cult following, but I never got into it. I was never really into martial arts movies, so that's a big part of it (I don't even really like The Karate Kid!! SHHHHH don't tell anyone). I do love Kurt Russell though - he's just so 80s. The muscle tee, the hair, the John Wayne accent for no apparent reason - it's all glorious. But the fight scenes are just not my thing - I hate how cheesy it looks and all the dramatic groaning noises always makes me laugh. I didn't realize that Kim Cattrall was the main woman! And Kate Burton is in this too??!! Overall, this is just not my thing. But I tried! 

10. To Live and Die in L.A. - [rewatch] I haven't watched this in well over 20 years and I'm kind of excited because I remember really liking it, but I don't remember much about it - other than some good car chase scenes and the grittiness of L.A. I actually forgot that this was a William Friedkin film. I don't always like his films, but some of them are incredible (Bug is one of my faves). I love the opening song (and it's the TITLE OF THE MOVIE!), and seeing all of these legendary actors so young (Willem Dafoe, John Turturro, etc., although I've never really been a fan of William Petersen. He really got stuck on those CSI shows that I also hated). Unfortunately, on this rewatch I was a little bit bored? I thought it was more action-packed. But it's slow and long and there is a scene that lasts like 20 minutes of Dafoe making counterfeit money and it just goes on and on just like this sentence. I like the vibe of it - it still definitely feels gritty and very 80s, but it's more of a drama than I was expecting. 

Movie Marathon: Mission: Impossible

1. Mission: Impossible - Honestly, I wasn't really looking forward to doing this marathon because all I really remember about the Mission: Impossible movies before Ghost Protocol is that I hated them. And then, even after Ghost Protocol, they are all 3 star, somewhat satisfying movies. But surely nothing to rave about like some people do. I also have a fairly deep hatred of Tom Cruise (he's in a cult! A cult that has ALLEDGEDLY murdered people!), but I'm going to try to ignore that for the next 7 (!!! holy shit - there are SEVEN of these???) movies, and focus on the fact that he is a very good action star. He gives it his all, and I appreciate that. First off, I'm shocked and delighted that this was under 2 hours. And it's also better than I remember! I'm a big 90s action movie junkie, and I still don't rate this as high as the classics (Speed, Bad Boys, Con Air, etc), but there's some really strong action sequences that have become classic action scenes. The "impossible" heist at Langley is incredible. The plot, however, is overly complicated and ridiculous. And the whole face mask thing gets old real quick, but is used for the next 7 (!!!) movies. I thought it was a 2.5 star movie, so I'm delighted that it's actually a 3.5 star movie, and it gave me a lot of false hope going into the next two films....

2. Mission: Impossible 2 - Okay, this is more how I remember these movies. I may have just lumped the trilogy in together as being "bad", but happy to report that the first one is good. The sequel, however, is fucking terrible. John Woo is an incredible filmmaker, but the style of this - with the slo-motion fight scenes is really bad. And hard to watch. It just all looks really fake. 35 minutes in and I could not care less about the plot, the characters, or the mission. it's very boring. I laughed twice, though, so that's something (the Tom Cruise mask...LOL). Also, the line "It's not mission difficult, it's mission impossible" is, perhaps, the best line of the whole franchise. 

3. Mission: Impossible III - It's slightly better than the second one, but still bad. I remember watching this when it was first released, as a huge JJ Abrams fan, and I was SO disappointed by it. I will say that I LOVE this cast - Michelle Monaghan is one of my faves, Philip Seymour Hoffman (a fabulous bad guy and scene chewer), Keri Russell (a JJ fave), Billy Crudup, Maggie Q, AND a young Aaron Paul! Probably my favorite cast of the franchise. But the plot is very thin, but seems overly complicated. It's all very obvious, too. And there's really no stand-out scene. I can't remember even ONE action sequence? Maybe the Maggie Q Vatican sequence with the car? It's not really an action sequence, but the she looks great and the car blows up. And speaking of Maggie Q, it's kind of weird that they don't bring her back for future M:I movies. She's such a good action star - and deserves a bigger career, in my opinion. 

4. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Even though there is a 4-5 year gap between almost all the M:I movies, this feels like the beginning of the new M:I era. I remember it being a big deal when this was released with everyone raving about it in IMAX, and I do think that the Burj Khalifa scene does warrant a big IMAX screen. It's the greatest scene of the entire franchise. But, it doesn't make the film any higher than a 3 star movie. And on a rewatch, it's a little hard to pay attention to and it feels very long for a 2 hour film. I like that Simon Pegg continues into the franchise, along with Ving Rhames (the only other actor aside from Cruise who is in all of them). It feels like a solid team, but Paula Patton is a terrible actress and really ruins a lot of the movie. I LOVE Jeremy Renner in this, though - I wish he was in more of them. They do a really good job of connecting his story to Ethan's. And makes it believable that Ethan's wife is really dead (but of course she's not actually dead...lol). And Lea Seydoux has such a strong presence. This is also the first of these films that you really get a lot of the "Tom Cruise run". 

5. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - Apparently, on first watch, I didn't really like this one - rated it 2.5 stars, which is on the lower end of average. I still only remembered one scene - and that's the car chase scene with Renner. The three-point turn in the truck just makes me laugh so hard. It's just perfect comedic timing. This one feels very repetitive. Yet again, the IMF is disbanded and Ethan is on the run. Blah Blah Blah, it's all been done before. Tom Cruise hangs off of a plane, but it's kind of a let-down from the Burj Khalifa scene. They repeat the word "syndicate" an annoying amount of times. It's all just...boring. But, I will say that, while I wasn't that impressed with Rebecca Ferguson when I first watched this, as someone who has grown as a fan, she is definitely the highlight. And that chartreuse dress is EVERYTHING. I think this one just gets annoying going back and forth about whether she is good or bad, but once they build on her character, in future films - she's definitely an interesting folly and foe for Ethan. This was really her big break, and it is a star-making performance. Now she's in everything (I caught up with Silo, watched Dune Part II, and this all in the same week!). I did bump this up to 3 stars after rewatching. I just think that it all feels like filler. 

6. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - There are a few things I like & remember about this movie: Michelle Monoghan is back (YAY!!). Simon Pegg finally gets to wear a mask (which became a running joke throughout the series), and Henry Cavill winding up his arms before the bathroom fight. I'm not the biggest Cavill fan, and I think it's very obvious that he's not the good guy in this, but the bathroom fight scene is among the best scenes of the franchise. I also got very annoyed that they literally do the same exact thing with his character that they did with Ilsa in Rogue Nation (is he good? is he bad? Let's keep twisting & turning the story until the end). I think my problem with this is that it also feels like filler - so it's two movies in a row that do very little to move the franchise forward. 

7. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - This is going to be extremely controversial, but when I first watched this, I thought "this is my favorite of the entire franchise", but assumed it's only because I don't remember them well (and probably a bit of recency bias). But now that I watched them all again, and in close proximity to each other, it is, in fact, my favorite among the franchise. And just to be clear, my favorite of the franchise tops out at 3.5 stars. It would have been a 4 star film if it were shorter. 2 hours and 43 minutes is way too long for a movie like this. And it would be fairly easy to edit down several scenes to make them feel more intense (and like Rogue Nation with the word "syndicate", the magic repeated word in this is "entity" - maybe edit it down to saying it 10 times instead of 300??). But I really enjoyed this way more than all the previous ones due to mostly one aspect: the women. Vanessa Kirby reprises her role from Fallout, and she's INCREDIBLE. I still think the acting she does on the train, when she wears "the mask" is one of the strongest acting scenes of recent years. She's SO GOOD in it, and the whole scene is so anxiety-inducing. I don't even like Hayley Atwell, but her and Cruise have great chemistry and she provides some levity to the action. Pom Klementieff is a scene-stealer. Also, the stakes just feel really high in this. Like the world does really need Ethan to succeed here. The train sequence is outstanding, but it does last about 45 minutes. Just some tighter editing and this would have been a great movie. I'm excited for Part Two (or whatever they are calling it now), but I'm hoping that's the end. Maybe they can reboot it in a decade or so with a new Ethan Hunt. And maybe they can cast someone I actually like this time in the role. 

Ranking: 

M:I - Dead Reckoning 

M:I

M:I - Ghost Protocol 

M:I - Fallout 

M:I - Rogue Nation 

M:I III 

M:I 2

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. We Live in Time - This was okay. Not great, which is disappointing. I didn't know much about it going in - just that it was probably a sappy romance in which one of them gets cancer (probably Pugh since I know she shaved her head for a film role a while back). And, of course, the carousal horse (that is conveniently cut off the poster?? LOL). I will never get over that carousal horse. It's just so fucking funny that they used it in a promotional image not considering that it would instantly become a meme and the entire advertisement for the film. I like both Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield, but unfortunately I found the chemistry between them very lacking. I do like that she's a chef in this, though, because she loves to cook in real life and always does those cute videos on Instagram. I think my biggest problem with the film is that I just could not care less about this couple and there needs to be more to a story than "she dies of cancer". I also think it's WILD that Garfield would choose a role like this so closely after losing his mom to cancer. Why put yourself through that grief again? Do some comedies, my guy. It's good for the soul. Anyway, back to my not caring - I just questioned every scene. Why does she get so upset that he asks about her wanting kids? They are both in their 30s starting a new relationship - it's a perfectly acceptable question. It should really be the first question asked, in my opinion. You just can't move forward if you're on different pages with wanting children. But she's so rude and dismissive towards him, it made me hate her. And then there are these weird intimate scenes squished in-between completely unrelated scenes (like them in a bath together eating the driest cookies I've ever seen). Also, what the fuck is this cooking competition thing? Why is it so dramatic and why is this a thing that exists? All that food just...goes to waste? There are some things that I liked - like the scene in which she gives birth (aided by some fantastic character actors). I just wanted more depth. I didn't even come close to crying and I was in a pretty emotional mood.

2. You're Cordially Invited - It's crazy that a rom-com starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon is not being released in the theaters. What a time we live in! I also like the supporting cast a whole lot - Geraldine Viswanathan is hilarious, ditto for Jimmy Tatro. And Meredith Hagner is GENIUS casting as Reese's sister. But, overall, I found the movie cute, but never laugh-out-loud funny. I think the biggest mistake is making it a rom-com because Ferrell and Witherspoon have zero chemistry together, but they are funny together. Just make it a comedy without them getting together in the end? Even if they just become friends and their families become entwined because of this fiasco, but a romantic relationship is just...weird. I also think it's a huge mistake to side-line Tatro. I waited for the ENTIRE film for the strip-tease dance that they tease throughout the film, because it was obviously going to be the best part, and they don't even show it until the fucking end credits. AND THEN - they have THE BALLS to completely copy the best part of Anyone But You (the end credits). How embarrassing??? And they don't even do it as well. Overall, this is just very forgettable, but it has its moments. 

3. Anora - I can not believe how fucking funny this movie is. I had no idea. I can't stop thinking about it. My three favorite moments are: (1) the entire scene with the two Russian guys trying to keep Ani in the house and her just completely kicking their asses. It's visually hilarious - just two giant, tough Russian guys getting believably destroyed by this petite, but very scrappy, little girl from Brooklyn. And the fact that she doesn't try to fight them in the traditional film ways - instead she's more realistic about it. She bites and scratches and kicks her feet. It's just so hilarious. "she's a fucking little girl!" "she's not fighting like one!" (maybe he says "biting"? I'm not sure, but either work). (2) the line "I don't have Instagram, I'm an adult" LOL. More people need to take that advice. (3) when she starts calling Igor names and he doesn't understand why she's calling him that. "they say you're just born that way" as she shoves a fry into her mouth. I just couldn't stop laughing. Sean Baker is 3/4 for me (sorry, but I HATED Tangerine). I think this is, by far, his most confident film. And I hope he continues to focus his stories on marginalized communities and/or imperfect people because he's one of the few that gets it SO right. And Mikey Madison is incredible in this role. She's such a star. I want Demi to win the Oscar, but I wouldn't be mad if Madison takes it. She runs the gamut of emotions with this, and her Brooklyn accent is stellar. I also think it's really cool that both The Substance and Anora are getting so much recognition because neither of these films feel Oscar-baity AT ALL. I know that as soon as they both received such critical acclaim, they both went into full Oscar campaigning, but I don't think it started that way. As for the minor controversy, I do think it's crazy that they didn't have an intimacy coordinator on set. It's a relatively new aspect of filmmaking, but I think it's essential post-me too. It shouldn't effect the "realness" of the nudity & sex scenes if it's done well. It's basic human decency to have a third party there to ensure no lines are crossed. And even if the star declines it, what about all the other people on set?? I fully believe in women being allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies and I hate people who assume that young women in Hollywood are coerced into nudity and sex scenes. It takes away women's agency to make their own decisions. Yes, some women are coerced, but a lot aren't so I would never assume anything until I've heard it from that particular woman. But I still don't think it should be up to the star or the director to not hire an intimacy coordinator. It should be a mandatory part of filmmaking, so that sucks, but it shouldn't hold the film back awards-wise (and if you really want to look for controversy, then look at Baker's old twitter. Apparently he liked a *lot* of questionable stuff - like Kyle Rittenhouse stuff. It's shocking that people haven't made a bigger deal about it, but Karla Sofia Gascon has been destroyed (deservedly). I wonder what the difference is??? *she says sarcastically*). Anyway, overall, I loved this movie. There's a lot of heart, and a lot of laughs. Also, it's a shame that Yura Borisov is up against a lead actor in the supporting category because if Culkin were in the proper category then Yura would actually have a chance at winning! It's a perfect example of a supporting role, that doesn't even require much dialogue, that is essential to the film. 

4. Canary Black - It's been, like, three weeks since I watched this and I'm struggling to remember it. I know that I was in the mood to watch a dumb action movie with a hot woman kicking ass, but this was so bad that I could barely pay attention to it. The absolute worst part was the accents. Kate Beckinsale sounds weird as fuck. She's trying to do an American accent, but there's something wrong with her voice??? Is it the sound mixing? The ADR? It's so distracting. And I usually like Beckinsale, but the weird accent, raspy voice, mixed with her emotionless face (because she literally can't move it from botox, I presume), makes this her worst performance to date. Rupert Friend does a bad Scottish accent (for no apparent reason), and is OBVIOUSLY not who he is thought to be because they wouldn't hire a "name" for a minor role unless it wasn't a minor role. Just make them British for fuck sake. It wouldn't effect the story at all?? ANYWAY. On a side-note, I think it's weird that Beckinsale spoke out about being sexually harassed on film sets in response to the whole Lively-Baldoni fiasco. It screamed "look at me! I want to be the center of attention! even though this story has nothing to do with me!" - and it looks even weirder now that more info keeps changing the discourse, literally, every single day. But whatever. I have nothing nice to say about this - it's boring, the action scenes suck, it's poorly acted, and it's all very obvious as to how it's all going to play out. There's just not enough story here to fill an episode of tv, let alone a whole film. Oh wait - one nice thing is that I love Ray Stevensen! I think this might have been his last film? How sad. 

5. The Inheritance (2024) - OOOOOfffffffff. Two one-star films in a row. I saw someone describe this as Ready or Not mixed with Abigail, which sounds like a horror film I would LOVE. I also didn't know Joe Russo wrote this until I went to log it on LB and his review is listed at the top "I wrote this movie, so 5 stars, bitches!!" LOL. Sorry, Joe, but this movie is ass. Technically, Ready or Not mixed with Abigail is a fitting description, plot-wise, but in terms of quality, it's nowhere near the either of those movies. First, no offence, but these are all b/c-list actors. I don't even mind Rachel Nichols anymore (after she ruined Alias, I hated her), but when I see her in a movie, I assume it's not going to be good. I don't know anyone else's name from the cast except for Briana Middleton, who I thought was incredible in an otherwise mediocre movie, Sharper. But she's bad here. All of them are. It doesn't help that the dialogue is awkward and terrible (and it doesn't even make sense sometimes - like why do they keep stressing that the wife shouldn't be there because it's "immediate family" only? Significant others are immediate family members??? It would be different if he invited "blood relatives only" - then, no she wouldn't be invited. Maybe run this through a script reader first??). The kills are very stupid. And just when I was like, "okay, this is fucking dumb" *spoiler* the dead girl randomly jumps out of a painting. WHAT? Make it make sense?? And their "family knock" is literally the same knock that a random solicitor would use (to be fair, maybe they did that for comedic effect, but the movie isn't funny so any moments that are supposed to be funny land with a thud). I honestly don't even remember how this ends? Who gets the money?? Did they all die? I couldn't tell you. I think I may have already blocked it from my memory. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. A Different Man - I absolutely HATE admitting that I really liked this movie because I don't like Sebastian Stan. I've never liked him - not as Carter Baizen from Gossip Girl, not as Bucky Barnes (and ugh - I hate that character too). He's okay in some other films (Fresh, Monday), but I don't think he's hot nor does he have screen presence. I still don't like him in this, and I think it would have been in my top 3 films of 2024 if it starred someone else (it's actually sitting at #4 right now, but, as usual, I'm so behind on movies, that will probably change). It's far weirder and more experimental than I was expecting. I thought, for some inexplicable reason, that it was more of a buddy comedy (haha!). It's definitely a complex film - part satire about projected identity, part social-commentary on beauty standards, part fairy-tale "life is what you make it" lesson - it's all very interesting. It's also a bit of commentary on standards of casting (does a person need to be the identity they are being cast as, is a popular grey area of concern in Hollywood). I didn't even realize that it was Sebastian in the beginning scenes - I could definitely tell that heavy prosthetics were used in order for it to "come off", but I thought it was Adam Pearson with exaggerated prosthetics. They just do a really good job with it. It becomes a very different film once the change happens, and it's all so unexpected. Pearson does such a good job at being this perpetually positive life force - someone who uses being the center of attention to his own advantage. It's very refreshing and inspirational to see this character be bold, confident, and the life of the party, while someone who looks like Sebastian Stan spends his time being insecure, morally reprehensible, and depressed. It doesn't matter how beautiful you are, if you're ugly on the inside you will live a miserable life. It's very rebellious as far as Hollywood standards go, and it's a film that will stay with me forever. Also, the sound is really spectacular, which is unexpected for a film so focused on character. I think Renate Reinsve is a bit awkward in this role, and the wig she wears in the second part is truly distracting, but I think they do a good job with her character too - she's only nice because it serves her. She uses someone else's story as inspiration without giving them credit. She's the epitome of performative - and it's an epidemic in our current culture. Overall, I was very impressed with this. 

2. Dune: Part Two - I saw the first one in the theater, and thought for sure that my husband would drag me to see this sequel in the theater too, but he was not interested either. And even when it came to streaming, we both hesitated watching it for so long because it's SO LONG. 2 hours and 46 minutes??? WHY???? It definitely doesn't need to be that long. I'm really not a fan of Timmy, either. Or Zendaya for that matter (I actually love Zendaya, but she can't act. Maybe one day she'll be good. I have hope!). They have ZERO chemistry together, and since the story is focused more on their relationship in this one, that's a big misfire for me. I do like the addition of Florence Pugh and Austin Butler (both are definitely scene-stealers). And the highlight, once again, is Rebecca Ferguson. But if you asked me to summarize the plot?? I got nothing. Something about a fulfilling a prophecy and Zendaya's crew being split on believing in this prophecy so she's skeptical, but follows his lead anyway because he was able to ride a gigantic sandworm, and then there is some fighting and stuff. And then he agrees to marry Pugh as a peace offering and Z gets pissed. The end. I like the religious allegory (and it's mostly anti-religious sentiment), but the rest of it is a snooze. It's no better or worse than the first one - I do think it should have been recognized for some of the production values (cinematography, sound design, costume etc.), but the story is just not my thing. And the actors fail to sell it to me. Meh. 

3. Gladiator 2 - So in a surprising twist, I actually loved this. And the first Gladiator too! I rewatched it about a week before I watched this. I remember watching the original in the theater (25 years ago!!) and not really being that impressed. I know it was well-received and Oscar-nominated, but I always shrugged my shoulders at it. However, during my rewatch, I was like "no, -WAIT-, this is actually really good!". So, I really looked forward to watching this sequel after that. I have a few nitpicky things (like Paul Mescal trying to hide his Irish accent. It's painful), but overall I had a lot of fun with it. Especially watching Denzel have the time of his life with this role. I saw a few critics call-out Mescal as not being ready for such a big role, and also just not being a blockbuster actor, and I disagree. I think he definitely has star power along with the acting chops to be part of the next A-List of actors. He's not as showy as Denzel and others, but I don't think his role requires that. However, I do think Pedro is miscast (I fear he's miscast in the new Fantastic Four movie as well, but we'll see). He's falling into this pattern of getting big roles because the internet loves him, but he's not always right for them (see Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, and Timothee Chamalet/Chalamet). And I say that as Pedro Pascal fan (I've been here since Narcos, suckers). He stands out like a sore thumb in this. I also think it's weird that they didn't cast the original kid that played Lucius. He's 37, but looks young, and he's still an actor. It would have been pretty cool to see him take on the starring role, but I get that they needed a "name" in the role. Anyway, the production design is outstanding, the opening sequence is incredibly strong (and historically accurate to the fighting style of the Romans), and the costumes are gorgeous. I loved all of it, even though it's slightly too long. 

4. Your Monster - This is a cute movie, especially if you're a fan of Melissa Barrera (as I am). It kind of reminds me of Lisa Frankenstein which I also liked. I laughed and was fully engaged for the whole thing (which is increasingly harder to accomplish). Barrera is outstanding and the performance for "My Stranger" is SO GOOD. It should have been an Oscar contender (this and "New Brain" by Naomi Scott from Smile 2 are the only original songs from 2024 that I added to my playlist. It's so weird to me that the Academy clearly wants to get younger viewers - which is why Wicked is nominated, but they continuously overlook opportunities to get younger performers like Melissa and Naomi). The ending is also Great with a capital G. I loved her confrontation scene ("limp dick fuckface narcissistic piece of shit asshole"). Plus, Meghann Fahy!! I was hoping to see her everywhere after her season of The White Lotus, but so far I think it's only been that Nicole Kidman Netflix show?? She's such a star, so I think she'll break it big soon. My only big criticism is that the sex scene is weird and unnecessary (and I'm very pro-sex scenes). They could have easily made this more tween friendly instead of rated R. The ending is very dark, but I think tweens can handle dark (I mean Romeo + Juliet came out when I was 15 and obviously that's dark). I also think it's for a very specific audience (tweens and theater people) and if you're not in that category, then you probably won't like it. 

5. Here - This is a bad movie, but it also has an incredible idea behind it, so I have a hard time criticizing it. I will always appreciate creativity and ambition in filmmaking. But, the reality is, this is terrible. A one star movie masquerading as Oscar-bait. I gave it two stars because I can't, in good conscience, rate something this bold only one star. I'm almost hoping that someone else steals the idea and makes a good movie, with more interesting stories, more thoughtful dialogue, and actors that aren't phoning it in. I mean, Tom Hanks is absolutely terrible. And how can Robin Wright sign on for a film like this that uses de-aging techniques after starring in The Congress (if you haven't watched it - it becomes more and more relevant every day with AI taking over the film industry)? The other star I gave it is for the editing because the transitions between scenes are so smooth and interesting; I absolutely loved watching the space transform in front of my eyes. The "gimmick", if you will, is that it is filmed with a stationary camera in one spot - a spot that eventually becomes a living room in an American town (I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be NJ? Like, by my house?). It starts with dinosaurs roaming the Earth, and then we slowly see a house being built, and eventually multiple families move in at different period of times. But the camera never moves. It's super-duper cool. I do think it's inspired by The Tree of Life, but for dummies. The problem is that they focus on one family a bit more than the others - and I hate all of them (Wright becomes a nagging wife and has the audacity to complain about a free house? I would fucking kick her to the curb!). And you can de-age Hanks all you want - he's never going to pass as a believable teenager. It's just so bad. I just sat watching it in disbelief at its awfulness but also in awe, which is a weird combination.